The Hike

Sometimes, a road seems so long that you grow weary, and you wonder why you ever set out on it in the first place. You question whether your commitment to the path is really worth the effort. Sure, you enjoy the scenery, and you get a good workout from the hike, but those 'rewards' seem small compared to the fact that you've been walking for a while and no big milestones have been passed yet. So, you stop, sit, and flirt with the notion of giving up.

Other hikers walk by, coming from some other trails, and tell you the hike is worth it. You appreciate their kind words, but they haven't been walking with you, they don't know what you've been through. There are other hikers, ones who have been following you, but they'e been quiet, watching you and seeing what you do. Some have been with you from the start, they are tired, too. Others have been picked up along the way, and have a little more pep to them. It is one of them, or a chorus of them that speaks up, and says what you've needed to hear, but never knew it:

"You have made my hike a little better."
"You've made me feel like I belong to this hiking tour like no other hiking tour ever has."

"I feel closer to the summit than I ever have before, and couldn't have done it without you."

"You've changed the way I view hiking."

Your heart stirs, the weariness fades a bit, and the path no longer looks so daunting. You will carry on, buoyed by the encouragement of the people following you.

For a while now, I've been tired. I've seen God doing small things in the ministry He's called me to, but for whatever reason, it hasn't seemed good enough. At least, not good enough to impassion me. It's been a yo-yo of spirituality for me for the last few years, and I'm pretty sure the up and down isn't done yet. But just a few days ago, I'd had enough. I wasn't hearing encouragement from God- it seemed- and the bright spots I'd even recently spotted were seeming dim. So I told God- "I need something. I need to know what I've pursued with the Gate matters, that it's worth something. That I matter."

That hit me Thanksgiving night, and I sat down, and threw a pity party. I was ready to stop the hike. I was consumed with anxieties and fears about church, job, life, and everything. I was angry at God, and didn't know why. So I called Him out.

Then, Sunday night. We had our last night of Storytellers, a series we'd been doing at church where we invited the folks that make up our church the chance to share their story, or a message they felt God had laid on their heart. The other two nights had been great, Maddie had taught a great message about letting God take away your anxieties and fears. Evan shared about how God had used the Gate to lead him closer to God than he'd been, and Bethany shared about how God has His hand in things in ways that can surprise- and save- us. Last night, Amy shared about how God led us to realize how little we are in control, but that it's a good thing. Andy shared how one person can make a difference, even if it seems small at the time, to change things in a big way. And Sara closed us out with a message of hope that God can heal our brokenness.

I still didn't fully have the theme God was teaching me yet. I'm slow like that.

This morning, I felt the need to listen to Mumford & Sons. I clicked on their first album on Grooveshark and let it play. While the music played, I was chatting with Daniel, who encouraged me unexpectedly with a sledgehammer of hope- God was using me. There was a difference being made through me, despite my fears, anxieties and failings as a follower of Christ.

Then, the lyrics to the Mumford & Sons pierced my heart:

"So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears"

And

"So make your siren's call

And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be"

God cares. And what I've learned is that we need to listen to Him, and we need to listen to the words of others when they encourage. We need to offer it freely as well. Sometimes when we don't 'hear God,' the door that opens to that comes from listening to those hiking with us. As pastors, we need to let those in our care share what God is doing in their lives- you'll be surprised how often it's more than you think. And people need to tell their leaders when they have made a difference in their lives. Pastors need to encourage their flock- and not just from the pulpit (or bar floor).

I don't think we realize how often we all need a kind word from someone else. After all, God's kindness is what leads us to repentance. Makes sense that His followers acting out that aspect of His character would have a similar result.

This morning, a combination of the words from Storytellers ringing in my ears, an encouraging Facebook chat, and Mumford & Sons brought me to tears- and closer to God. So, I put my pack back on, stood to my feet, and resumed my hike. My hope and prayer is that I lead well those who go along with me. That when they grow weary, I give hope, and when I falter again, they again lift me up.
The journey is long, but it is worth it. But only if we go together.

Prayer, the Original Social Network

Every morning I got to work, I see people at every stop sign, stop light, yield sign, crosswalk and slow spot in traffic whip out their phones and start texting. At 7:30 in the morning. And I ask myself- Who the heck is awake and texting that early in the morning?

Apparently, a lot of people. Of course, to be fair, as soon as I sit down at work, I log into Facebook, check my email, and try to connect and communicate with people. And millions more Americans do just that on Facebook, Twitter, texting, and Google Plus. But not MySpace. Seriously, does anyone still use that?

I dare say we communicate more with other that any time ever in the history of the world. Some of the biggest companies in the world are based in information technologies- really, it means communications. And they got so big because we all want to share our stories with others and hear from our friends. And it's all ages. Even my great-aunt, who is in her 80's, has an I-Pad so she can use the internet. We can instantaneously communicate with each other, no matter where we are.

If only we had that with God...

Funny, God was riding the communication wave eternities before Apple, AT&T, and those other guys. And God's communication grid never goes down. But I'll stop before I get into the ultra cheesy usual Christian area of "I have knee-mail...heh,heh." The point is a serious one- why do we communicate so voluminously with each other, yet struggle to communicate so freely with God?

The first, and most potent argument to me, is that our social media communication is barely skin deep, so it doesn't cost us anything. The readers of our tweets and texts don't see all the thoughts behind those characters like God does with our prayers. Sure, occasionally people respond negatively to what we post (Just ask any Aggie with friends from Texas Tech or Baylor after this weekend's SEC stuff) but for the most part, its all fluff. With the occasional deep thought. But our prayers aren't- or rather can't be- superficial. Not for long, anyway. Largely because God sees our comments for what they are- their sincerity or lack thereof is blatantly obvious.

Second, we don't think prayer works. Honestly, we don't. Maybe its because we don't get what we want immediately, or in the timely fashion we so desire. We still throw words at God, but our heart isn't in them. We lack what James talks about in his fifth chapter, verse 15- "And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well..." We have little or no faith that God will hold up his end of things, or that He can. At least, that's what happens to us eventually if we allow our prayer life to whither and die. We need to learn perseverance, to keep praying even when its hard- and to not just pray for ourselves and our wants.

Which leads us to the great irony of our culture at large- and the Christian culture in specific. While we as Christians can and do communicate more frequently with each other- and to a degree non-believers- we are not actually any closer than we were before social media. And I believe prayer is at the root of that irony.

Do you pray for each other? And I mean beyond "Lord, bless Joe and his family." Do pray for Joe's spiritual growth and for his struggle with sin, for God's leadership in his life and against spiritual attacks he may face? Probably not. And you have the legitimate excuse that Joe doesn't share those things with you. Because Joe doesn't talk about the deep things- he's like the rest of who want a Facebook level of trust and interaction with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We don't share with each other because we don't want people to know our weaknesses, our failures- or that we really are human after all. But then, Joe may not sure his struggles with you because he doubts- legitimately so- that you don't really pray for him, or care as much about his struggles as he does. I mean, really, do you forget to pray for another person's request as often as I do? Because it's often for me.

We talk a lot about church unity, and feeling like we belong in a church, and having community. But all that is just surface level if we don't honestly, and deeply pray for each other. James give us that command in verses 13 and 14 of chapter 5:

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.


And then, he goes on with this in verse 16:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.


We need to be much more serious about prayer- for ourselves and especially for each other.  So here is what I've been doing, that I now propose to you.  Reach into your pocket, or you purse, and pull out that thing you use for texting


If we want to be unified as believers in Christ, we must pray for each other.  It will be hard to do- it's not Twitter, after all.  But press on.  God desires it.  Your brothers and sisters in Christ need it.  


You need it.

Building a Better Church

A friend was recently telling me that his church just announced that they'd be building a new building, a bigger building to fit their growth.  While it is great that a church is growing so much it needs more space, issues arise.  Not everyone will like it, being the key one.  But there are costs to be assessed, logistics to be worked out, and, hopefully, much prayer to engage in.

            Now, I've been in a few churches that go through building projects.  Some were to construct all new facilities, some were simply renovations.  All of them paid close attention to the things it needs to make a good building- in other words, the right materials and a good blueprint.  As a I listened to my friend talk about his church's plan, it got me thinking about a different kind of church construction, the spiritual kind.  See, my current church in a building plan, but we have no desire to invest in bricks and mortar, steel and wood.  No, we are at a juncture where we must become very intentional about how we build our church.  Here are a few of the things we need to make the structure sound.

Foundation

            It may sound like a cliché, but the foundation of a church is the most important thing we do.  It must be planted in Christ, His life, death, and resurrection, and His teaching, including the taking part of ordinances (baptism and Lord Supper- the act of doing them, not the manner in which they are done, that comes later).  This is non-negotiable.  This must be rock solid.  A crack here will destroy everything that comes after.  Think of Jesus' own parable of the builders who built on sand and who built on rock.  The solid foundation is the clear winner.

            The problem I find in a lot of churches is that they try to put too much in the foundation.  They fill this base not just with Christ, but with denominational history, with tradition, and with preferences that have become dogma without being necessary to identifying with Christ.  These things are important, but they are not foundational.  The reason is that they are not eternal, unchanging things.  Christ alone is.  If you put something in the foundation that you later regret, you have to destroy the building to get it out.  So keep the foundation simple.

Framework

            Once the foundation is laid, you build on it.  Several things go into this:  Those beliefs that shape the core culture of the church beyond the foundation and the leaders. 

            These beliefs (probably called doctrine and/or policies by some) are important, but they are not foundational.  Baptism provides a great example of how these separate from the foundation.  Jesus teaching on baptism as a symbol of salvation- not the actual act of salvation- is foundational.  Whether that baptism is by sprinkling, immersion or another means is vitally important to the structure of the church, but it is not foundational.  You need to know where you stand as a church on issues like these, but they are not what makes or breaks you in the body of Christ.

            Now the leaders.  Leaders, as much as the doctrine, give shape to the church.  And I'm sure you'd agree when you look at the rise of the 'celebrity' pastor of today.  Major mega-church leaders shape so much of the views of their church. 

            But I'm not just talking about the pastors who lead.

            A church cannot survive or really even be healthy if the only leaders are the staff.  As a pastor, I'm begging you, if you are so called, to lead out in your church.  There are many non-clergy who are as much or more of a leader than the pastor.  You lead with your influence, with your skills, with your attitude.  If something comes up in church and people come to you- congratulations, you're a leader.  And you are part of the framework of the church.  Be active, be strong, and be careful.  Not all the framework is as important as others- support beams carry the bulk of the weight in a building and are more important than the smaller 2x4s that are also necessary to good construction.  Basically, be a leader, but don't overstep your bounds- for your sake and the church's.

            And the clergy- they better be solid or their failings and faults- as those support beams carrying so much weight- with bring the church down quickly.

Bricks

            The rest of the people in the church who are not leaders are the bricks.  They are what the rest of the world sees most often and therefore judges the church by.  A house with cracked, dingy brick is judged unappealing by the world.  As the bricks, you are the representative of the Framework and the Foundation.  You also protect and give strength to the church.  You may feel that you are not needed from time to time, but you need to realize that if even one brick were to leave it's place, the whole structure is weakened. 

            This doesn't mean that your only job is to be there.  You must be involved, engaged with the rest of the church.  Serve, don't just sit.  Find the spot you fit best and do the most and do it.  With all your heart.  With passion.

Mortar

            Without a bonding agent, bricks will eventually fall apart, no matter how good they are.  Mortar bonds bricks.  In the church, mortar is a combination of love and community.  And it is vital that both are present.  You can love people from a distance, and you can have community with people you don't really care about. 

            When love and community come together, you get groups of people who actually want to hear what your prayer needs are.  People want to help you through your struggles.  People want to share their lives- good and bad.  There are many churches out that that have good foundations, good framework, and good bricks.  But they fall apart because they don't connect to each other.  So, be attentive and eager to reach out to the people around you, whether they are new or old.

Doors and Decor

            Remember all those things in the foundation section like denominational history and preferences?  They are the doors and décor.  They give the church it's atmosphere, it's personality.  And they act as doors to allow people in or keep them out.  They are aesthetics.  Important to the overall finished product, but easily changed if needed.  The truth is, some people will “Love what you've done  with the place,” while others will hold their nose.  If these things become so off-putting, you might want to consider redecorating, as long as the redecorating doesn't damage the rest of the structure, especially the foundation.

Roof

            And over all this, must be prayer.  Simply put, prayer is the protection that puts the church 'in the dry.'  Without it, you are exposed, you are weak, and you will be destroyed.  Honestly, this section really ought to be included closer to the beginning of this little 'construction,' but it's here because it needs to be what we're left with.  Many churches try to make prayer part of the décor, but it is what encloses and holds together all that has come before:  foundation, framework, bricks, mortar, and doors and décor.         

            Pray for your church, and all the beliefs, people, and actions that make it what it is.  Cover each other in prayer.  Weather the storms that rise.

            My friend's church that is beginning a Church Construction phase has been blessed with growth in numbers.  There are many churches that have been down that road- and that is great.  But unless they properly construct the spiritual church- the physical building will itself become abandoned and decrepit. 

            Be wise builders, fellow Christ Followers.  Build not with the easy way, the palatable way, or the common way.  Build with the blueprint God enlightens you to.

The Temptation of Entitlement

Entitlement is sort of a word of the day for me. Really, word of the week.

I see it thrown about in political discussions, and read articles about the mindset it creates in our culture. It's a fancy word, to be sure. It is also powerful. But in reality, as it plays out in our lives, it is nothing less than deadly.

In my last post, I mentioned Satan's final desert temptation of Jesus was one of entitlement- asking Jesus to essentially believe that the Father owed Him. Jesus cut this temptation down quickly, and efficiently by stating that you don't test God. Oh, how I wish we could be like that.

Entitlement runs rampant not just in society at large- a culture, a generation, a leader who feels someone else OWES them something they have yet to earn- it is overpowering in our churches. And it is in us as individuals.

Entitlement to Control

We all want things to go our way. We want things to favor us and bear good outcomes for us. The problem comes when we are tempted to demand that we be given control. It starts simply, we think our idea is a better idea than the current idea. But the entitlement the other idea holder possesses saying that their idea runs things clashes with your feeling of entitlement to enact your idea. Then it stops being about the merit of either idea and becomes about who is in control.

In the past, the one with the entitlement to control feeling has been the one with the leadership position. But now, everyone feels they have the right to control whatever they want. In churches, I've personally seen situations where a disagreement with a church leader has led members to seek to take control of the situation because, after all, "It is my church." There it is- MY. People who have grown up in a church feel entitled to run it the way they want. On the flip-side, the newcomer feels entitled to run things their way because they have fresher ideas.

And again, its never about the ideas when it gets to this point- it is about ME. What I want, regardless of what is best for others. The answer to this temptation of entitlement to control is to consider others. Be selfless. Be what we see in Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Entitlement to control is about pushing yourself higher and higher- elevating yourself to a power you feel you deserve just because. The answer is humility and concern for others.

Entitlement to Privacy

We're an independent culture. We like our privacy as much we like our rugged individualism. I myself prefer solitude whenever I can get it. This often leads us to feel entitled to be able to keep things to ourselves and not share our struggles or failures, or even our faith as a whole. We say, "My faith is between me and God." This is true...sort of. See, your relationship with God is EXCEPTIONALLY personal. What transpires between you and Him can be very private and sometimes is almost secretive. But He wants us to share with others our needs, our sins, and doubts.

We don't really talk about what's going on with us. We don't often share the things God is teaching us, or working with us on. We share our socially safe sins, the ones that we know people won't judge us on, but we never talk about the stuff that actually is tearing us apart. And share our doubts and fears with each other? Forget about it!

I think leaders have this problem more than most. Pastors, teachers, elders, deacons- pick your favorite- all of us feel that to let others know of our weakness is to invite a loss of favor, a loss of trust, and maybe a loss of position. We are terrified to share those darker thoughts and actions that aren't socially safe- and we hide behind that idea that some things are better kept between our families and maybe a close friend. But what we create in the minds of the people we lead is that it is OK to keep our life sucking weaknesses to ourselves. That it is better to keep a painful secret than be set free. That it is better to close ourselves off from those who love us rather than admit we can be wrong.

I share my failures with people. My church is aware of my struggles, and I admit my failures when I realize they are there- either by my own discovery or someone pointing it out to me. I do still struggle from time to time with being defensive about it, but that is something God is working on me about. What I have come to realize is that putting up that poser wall of privacy to hide my weakness doesn't just hurt me- it hurts those I am called to lead. And it especially hurts those who are struggling in secret with the same junk I am.

Entitlement to Grace

A dangerous trend I've noticed is this idea that we are entitled to Grace. Grace is freely and abundantly given by our God, but we exploit it by justifying our sins or twisting the meaning of the Word to get what we want, while casually saying, "If I'm wrong, I've got grace."

We did not, nor will we ever, earn grace. And it is not given so we can do what we want and then collect a "Get Out of Hell Free" card on the way to the grave. Grace is given so we can know God, and pursue knowing Him more. Grace is not about making life easier, or our sins more palatable. Our acceptance of the Grace of God is, however, an entitlement. It is an entitlement to share in the life of Christ. I see grace as it is meant to be in Philippians 3: 10-11

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

I think the idea that God (or anyone, for that matter) owes us anything is a height of selfishness. Entitlement kills us, even as we labor under the impression that what we think we are owed brings life. In fact, if the account in Isaiah 14: 13-15:

You said in your heart,
“I will ascend to the heavens;
I will raise my throne
above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.”
But you are brought down to the realm of the dead,
to the depths of the pit.

...is about Satan, then entitlement was kind of the sin that caused his fall. He thought himself better, deserving, even entitled to power. When we claim our entitlements, we fall as Satan fell.

To me, this makes his temptation of Jesus with entitlement in the desert in Luke 4 all the more telling. And why it seems to be a favorite temptation for you and me today.

Pastor =/= Celebrity

Kristin and I were in town to meet the church I was about to join as Youth Minister. Everyone knew we were coming, its a small town and all, but I thought we could slip down to the Festival going on in the park unnoticed and check things out. Almost immediately, we felt eyes on us. The people were sort of subtle about it, but it was clear, they kinda knew who we were. Finally, someone asked if I was the new youth minister. Then people started talking to us.

I felt,for the first time, like a celebrity.

I don't think we set out to be 'celebrities' to our churches, but it often happens. Pastors who are loved become special people in the community. They get good seats at events, special parking, and lots of invites to cool stuff. People begin to talk like they talk, dress like they dress, and name drop them in conversations to feel important. Don't get me wrong- pastors should be loved and appreciated, but caution must be taken.

Pastors Are People
Something begins to happen in and around Celebrity Pastors. People begin to think they can do no wrong. They take their words as gospel, and their actions as saintly offerings. But pastors are people. They are fallible. They are given to fits of stupidity and error just like everyone else. They have affairs, struggle with alcoholism, have tempers, and occasionally lie (and not just in those cheesy 'pastor stories that sometimes get told from the pulpit to make a humorous point). Not just in their sins, pastors are people in their needs. They need friends they can vent to, cry with, laugh with and bounce ideas off of. They need friends. But Celebrity Pastors find friends hard to come by. The power they wield puts up a wall between the people and them, a sort of "I wanna talk to him, but he's so important and I'm not" vibe sets in. And the more distance between Pastor as Person and Pastor as Celebrity, the more it becomes about the power of the position and not the people they serve.

Power Corrupts
When people view their pastors as celebrities, eventually it can go to their head. They begin to get beyond the checks and balances of the people because no one would dare question their word. If it goes on long enough, even if someone does confront an error the pastor will refuse to see it. This is how bad theology becomes common theology. No matter how good the intent of the man setting out to lead, too much power will corrupt. You've seen it in nationally known pastors like Swaggart and Haggard, leading powerful churches while living a lie and believing their power strong enough to keep it hidden. But it happens on smaller levels, and without such blatant sin. Sometimes, a pastor becomes so powerful that the church can't function without him. He retires and the replacement is a sacrificial lamb because he's never good enough, and never will be. Or the church just dies, because the life of it was in that one man.

Pastor Worship is Idolatry
Paul told us to imitate him as he imitated Christ. Paul wanted us to look at Paul and see Jesus. The problem we have today is that we can come to get lost in the charisma and words of the man serving God, and so forget to see the God who sent the man. I dare say there are people more loyal to their pastor than to Jesus. After all, you can see him, and converse with him, and be near him- you know, the same things the Israelites said about the golden calf they made while God chatted with Moses on the mountain.

The Answer
So, here is how we can avoid setting our churches, and our pastors, up for failure:

Churches: Remember the pastor is human. He makes mistakes. Even in his teaching. So check what he says with Scripture and prayer. NEVER take him just at his word, because his best intentions will still fall short of God. Allow him to admit his faults, and encourage him to do so- and if he asks for help, give it. He needs your help in walking with Christ, even as he is called to lead you to walk with Christ. Pray for him. Question him. And never feel afraid to approach him. He may be the guy speaking each week, leading everyone, but he is still one of you. Don't forget that. And don't let him forget it either. But when he takes a stand that stands with God (and God backs that choice in Scripture)- back him with all you have.

Pastors: Remember you are human. You rely on God for the same grace you extol your church to seek and live in. Be real with the people, and never pretend you have it all together. Take time to be with them more than just a greeting as they enter or leave church. Share your sins and failures, and ask for their help. Do what you do for the Name of Christ, above doing it for the love of the church. Don't be afraid to take a stand- one that comes from Christ, not your views- and be willing to lose popularity over it. Make it clear with words AND actions that Christ leads you, Christ is your Lord, and that you merely lead the church where Christ leads you. Don't let people make you into more than you are.

That church that made me feel like a celebrity also taught me the dangers that come with it. It taught me how to be a pastor, not a celebrity. How to care for the people more than the position. They taught me that a real pastor will lead the people where they don't want to go, even if it costs him greatly- and he'll lead them there because that dangerous and lonely place is where Jesus is.

The Storm of Being Known

As I write this, a cold front is blowing in. By 5, the temp will have dropped by 20 degrees, by 7 the wind chill will be in the twenties and the wind itself will be gusty. Not to mention that it's kinda drizzly and damp. For those of us in Texas, this is about as close as we get to "the weather outside is frightful."

Needless to say, the weather has me wanting to lock the door to the house, light a fire, crawl up in a blanket and hide from the world. I love the colder weather because it lets me just relax, in my safe, warm den.

It's why I like storms in general, actually. For me, there is nothing better than cozying up in a 'safe place,' and not being bothered by people. Yes, I am not a people person, despite being a pastor. I don't mind being around people, but it drains me. I've come to think that part of the reason it drains me is most interactions with people is about both of us trying to find a 'safe place.' You know, talking about what's comfortable, easy and not at all painful or personal. I also grow weary in large groups of people because I get real tired of holding up my mask- aka my defensive false self- so I can be like everyone else, who incidently, are also often holding their masks up as well.

There is no more draining exercise for me than hanging out with people who don't want to reveal what's really going on with them, despite claiming to be open and transparent. They hide behind sarcasm, arrogance, religion, or knowledge. They don't admit when they make mistakes, or they try to redesign what they did so that it's not really a mistake. And they never, ever admit their weakness. When they do, they admit it in a safe way. They never come out and say, "I struggle with an addiction to pornography, " or "I have a tendency to be an arrogant jerk," or "I'm worried about what's going on." No, they make vague, spiritual sounding admissions like, "I'm having a tough time, but trusting God." It sounds good, but it's missing something:

An actual request for help, from God or His church.

We don't want to ask for help- maybe a vague, "I need prayer for some stuff,"- because it makes us look weak, unspiritual. When in actuality, admitting our failures and fears is key to ACTUALLY trusting God. Matthew 11:28-30 has Jesus asking us to give these fears to Him: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”. And most of us do give it Him.

But there is more: we need to give it to each other.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.--Galatians 6:1-3

Our attempts to mask our failures and fears are actually a deception perpetrated unto ourselves, by ourselves. I think we fail to do this because it would be like going out of our safe, warm den on a blustery, damp winter night. We've made a fire that gives us comfort while we sip our coffee/hot cocoa in our pj's, and we quite like just sitting here, not bothered by anyone. But this metaphorical storm doesn't let up like the one coming tonight for me will. This storm will grow, and we will hide, deeper and deeper until we are trapped in a prison that we call our 'safe place.' We will be disconnected from the ones who want to help us and, ultimately, we will begin to be disconnected from Jesus. Because the more deception that "I'm OK!" we pour on, the more we believe the lie that we don't need help.

As much as we would love to stay safe, we need to take our problems to those who love us: family, close friends, and especially fellow Christ Followers. Now, I don't think we need to share EVERY LITTLE PROBLEM- that would be rather High-School-Drama-ish, don't you think? But we do need to take the things we can't handle, the things we are tempted to hide from others, to the people who not only can help, but want to.

So, sometimes we need to put down the mug of warm beverage, put on a coat and douse the fire, then open the door and walk into the storm. We've got to face the raging problems- not alone, but with those who love us. If you're dealing with something you try so hard to hide behind some sort of mask- share the burden with someone who will pray for you, someone who will check up on you. Someone who will love you unconditionally.

It's one of the big reasons Jesus came to us.


PS: I don't get to relax by the fire tonight, I too have to go into the literal storm of cold and put up posters for our church around town and campus. And you know what, I'm doing with some fellow Christ followers- giving up comfort for a night to go shed a little hope (hopefully) into the lives of those who need it.

But after that- the fireplace and hot cocoa are on!

Scars of Friendship

I've been scratched a great deal over the course of my life. By pets, by my kids, by thorns, and once by a high school girl basketball player during a practice our JV had with them. But for the most part, these scratches were short lived, both in their appearance and their memory. I know these things happened, but details get fuzzy and often disappear altogether.

But my scars are a different story. I still bear a scar on my right hand/forearm from running into a cattle panel (a criss-cross of 1/4 inch steel bars used for fencing). It's about 2-3 inches long, visible and I can remember the searing feeling of its first appearance. Then there is the 'Nike swoosh' I have on my left index finger. It's there because I tried to take a stainless steel sink through a too narrow door, too quickly. Several stitches later, its still there and the feeling in that finger no longer is.

Scars stick with us, they make an impact. And as unflattering as it may seem, the people in our lives are either scratches or scars. Some of them make a mark on our lives that fades and disappears. Others remain in our lives long after they have moved on.

I'll never forget guys like Jared and Donald who would stand up for me when bullies or upperclassmen came around. They were protectors when I was unable to stand for myself. The image of Morgan and Michael running up the stairs to my apartment, then sitting with me for who knows how long as I came to grips with the news that my father had just passed away is one that is permanently on my heart. A young man named Lynn, just a year my senior, visited with me at my grandfather's funeral, offering words of comfort. Just a few months later I sat at his own funeral, struck still with the poignancy of his words.

Not all scars are bad memories, though. Ask a woman who bears the scar of a C-section and you will hear a story that results in great joy. Not unlike the person who bears a scar of a surgery that saved their life. Dusty was my "Disc Golf Discipleship" buddy. Dave was my crazy roommate that still managed to challenge me to grow in Christ. Jay and Glenn were two ministers that pushed and challenged me to use my gifts for the Lord, and occasionally threw down a bit of a gauntlet that spurred me on that path.

Most of these folks I've not seen in years, and only really interacted with via Facebook and email if at all. Yet I see their faces vividly, clearly, and their words and actions are a part of my soul. They are my Scars of Friendship.

I've been looking at the state of my life lately, and I have been disappointed in the level of impact I've had on those around me. Sure, if you ask the people around me they say I have had an impact, but I doubt its of the 'scar' variety. The mark I've made will fade in time. I know there are people I have left a permanent mark on, so this isn't a call for pity or encouragement from anyone- this is a wake up call to me, and I just want to share it with you.

I pastor a very small church. We want to be unique, non-traditional, and impactful. I've worried a lot about us making an impact on the community around us, asking if our little church in a bar disappeared tomorrow, would the community miss us. Sadly the answer is no. More sad is that a new question dawned on me last night. Would the people of the Gate really miss the Gate if it were gone? Have we made a true, 'scarring' impact on each other?

This is not an earth-shattering question, but rather a question any pastor should ask about his congregation. Do my people really matter to each other- do they NEED each other? Forget pastors, every follower of Christ needs to ask this question- Do I make an impact on those closest to me- to my brothers and sisters in Christ? Or am I just a good-time buddy, a common interest sharer, or a ride on a cold night?

The people who "scarred" me went deeper than the skin. They pierced something in me that was more a core thing, a soul thing. Our little community of believers have a lot of fun seeking God- but I wonder how deeply we seek Him. Does He leave a mark on us when we encounter Him as a church?

To me, the two are tied. If I am not living to make an impact on those around me, I'm living to allow God to make His on me. We've allowed our busy lives, and our fear of getting hurt, and our less important things take away from the impact we need to have on each other. We play our relationships safe, we keep our cards close to the vest as if we were playing Go Fish with our lives. If you're lucky, and guess just right, I'll reveal a bit of myself, open a bit of myself to you.

This must change, not just in our little church, but amongst followers of Christ everywhere.

So How Do We Do It?

Do Something That Matters Together- Some of the people that 'scarred' me did so in a very dramatic event- like the loss of something dear to me. I'm not saying we need to create something like that, instead, make it a positive thing. Go on a service trip together (aka Mission Trip). This bonds people together, and deeply, like nothing I've seen. You can do short term stuff, like a day event, but for it to really make an impact, it needs to be intense if it has to be short. Helping at a food pantry is good, but it doesn't go deep. The shorter the duration of the project, the more intense it should be. Ropes Courses are good that sort of thing, as well as the service stuff.

Be Open- We're so afraid of letting others in, that we close up our doors. We wear the equivalent of body-armor in our relationships with other Christians so we don't get hurt. Part of this is we fear we'll be judged, part of it is we fear being discovered as a phony. Sometimes, we need to be expose. Sometimes, we need to get hurt by those we love (in a helpful, good way, like how a surgeon does harm to make you better).

Set the Relationship on Christ- Yes, you need to be engaged with each other because you care about the other person. But you need to care about the other person because you love Christ. Your love for them will always be flawed and imperfect- His will never fail to be perfect. This is not easy, but if you want to impact your fellow Christ Follower, Jesus must be the foundation of the relationship.

The people who have left a 'scar' on my life have done so in at least one of these ways. It is in remembering their marking of my life that I encouraged today. To be a better husband, father, pastor, and friend. I share this in hopes that you too are 'scarred' in way that makes you think deeply about the impact you have on others. If you read this and it does speak to you, share it with friends.

I have come to realize that I need to make a difference in the lives of those closest to me if I ever want to make difference in the lives of those farthest from me. My 'scars' have come from all varieties of people, but the thing they have in common is that they cared about me enough to get their hands dirty with my life. To risk their own 'scars' for the sake of my betterment. They have, in ways big and small, 'laid down their lives for their friend." (John 15:13, paraphrased)

It is high time I do the same for my friends.

A Great Cloud of Witnesses

God has been really good to us lately.

Friday, we found out we had free tickets to the A&M Nebraska game. We scrambled to find someone to watch our kids so Kristin and I could go. Unfortunately, all of our normal potential baby-sitters were either going to the game themselves (31,005 students pulled tickets for the national record for most student tickets purchased), or were babysitting for someone else going to the game. Then Saturday morning, after giving up hope that we could go, Kristin's mom volunteered to drive in and watch the kids so we could. My mother-in-law is awesome.

Kristin and I rode to the game with her Uncle Fred and cousin Cheryl, so we also got great parking thanks to their being season ticket holders. Their seats were on the lower deck, and ours were on the second, so we split up to find some food then our seats.

And what seats they were. They were pretty much 50 yard line seats for potentially the biggest game of the week- certainly the biggest thus far this year for the Aggies. We were there early enough to see the march in by the Corps of Cadets, and catch the Senior night recognitions. As the promo reels and the pre-game videos began to roll, you could tell there was something special going on.





In one way, this was expected. It was a huge game, and Aggies have long been known to be super-fans. We'd already broken the student ticket record, and we soon discovered we set the record for largest crowd at Kyle Field. Statements by Nebraska's coach putting down the Aggie fans (The 12th Man) had riled up an already rowdy student section. And the Aggies were winning again, the defense was almost back to it's "Wrecking Crew" status of the decade prior, and the fans were expecting good things again for the first time in a number of years.

That's also why it was a surprise. I had only been to one game since I graduated, and it had lacked this intensity. It had been rather sedate and almost deflated. But this night it felt like the old passion that I knew from my years as a student was back, and it was wearing maroon and waving white towels.



In the midst of 90,000 plus people, yelling for their team to the point of losing their voice, I saw what passion is about. I saw it in the efforts of the young men on the field. I heard in the deafening cries of the 12th Man on defensive stands. I felt it my heart as I watched video of seasons gone by and heroes of those years. I am an Aggie, and I felt it that night. It went beyond a head knowledge that, yes I have an Aggie ring and a diploma, so I'm an Aggie. It was more than just me wearing a maroon Aggie jersey. It was more than yelling at the right times and singing the War Hymn and 'Sawing Varsity Horns Off" with the rest of the fans. It wasn't what I was doing or wearing.

It was who I was.

In the moments of tension and excitement, as the Aggies saw the Husker's final pass fall incomplete, and Ryan Tannehill took a knee to end the game- I found myself longing for more of this. Victory. Passion.

As a Christian, I learned a lot about passion Saturday night. If we were as passionate, as motivated, about Christ as we were about BTHO Nebraska- what could we accomplish? I was inspired by the 12th Man, because they- though they never set foot on the field- gave all that they could for a game that mattered.

The "game that matters" to us as followers of Christ demands our full commitment, our full passion. It demands that we wear our voices bear proclaiming Christ. It demands we adorn ourselves not with maroon and white, but with the acceptance of the blood of Christ- shed for us so that we may know Him. It demands that we stand for each other when play is close and our friends need all the support they can get to hold on just a little longer.

When the final time ran away from the clock, those white towels began to fly. Tossed upward like graduation caps, they floated a few rows down from their launching point. The celebration was not just for the team on the field, it was for all of us. We had all given of ourselves, yelled our support, stood our ground, and waved our towels. Those guys on the field gave their blood, sweat and tears, and they looked to us, their very own "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1) and welcomed us into their victory.

I want to be as passionate for your victory in Christ as I was for the Aggies victory on Kyle Field. I want to give my support to you, so that when your victory is won, you too will turn to me, and the rest of your "12th Man" and say, "This victory is all of ours!"

Passion is shared, and it it mutliplied in its sharing. May our passion for Christ be as contagious as a Yell from Kyle Field on Game Day.

Busy-ness Kryptonite

Me: Hey, I'd love to get together sometime soon to talk ministry stuff with you.
Pastor Friend: I'm busy until next week, how about Wednesday.
Me. I'm out of town. Friday?
Pastor Friend: No, I'm booked. How about the middle of next month? I've got tons of stuff to do, meetings and conferences. You know.

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Me: So, how are things going in your relationship with God?
Student: OK, it's just lately, with school and tests coming up, I just haven't had time to do much reading or praying.

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It's not moral relativism. It's not politics or causes. It's not even heresy and denominational strife that is killing the church.

It's Busy-ness.

These conversations are very common these days. I have them all the time. I've been the one making excuses for why I can't meet, or why my life has gotten too hectic to stop for 10 minutes to read the Bible. Being busy has become the cancer eating way at Christianity. It is our kryptonite.

I find it odd that we live in a world where technology has made everything move faster- cars, communication, work. Yet, we seem to have less time than ever. I remember being in college and being told to enjoy all the free time you have now, it'll never be like that again. Now, the students I know seem to never have time. I am always hearing that this test is coming, or that projects deadline is looming, or etc. They have legitimate concerns about doing well in school to get a good job, but I am starting to wonder: At what cost?

The hectic pace of life so many of us live leads to a complacency of faith. Which breeds apathy toward Christ. Which leaves us dead. We have given at the office, at school, even to our families so much that we have nothing left for God.

We need a Revolution.

It takes work to maintain a good relationship, and a good relationship needs to be growing. With Christ, we have sat ourselves down and put out roots. We have 'gotten saved' or been rescued by Christ, and we feel that is good enough. Sometimes its an issue of thinking that we've gotten heaven, why put in any extra effort? I need to work harder to succeed in school or at work, but I don't need to work harder at knowing and pursuing God.

We are abusing grace. And we are being selfish.

Our relationship with God is not ours only. My faith affects my wife, children, friends and co-workers- the list goes on. When I am apathetic or complacent in faith and the acting out of said faith, I am not giving them my best. That's to say nothing of my sub-par worship to God. We have taken to heart this idea that "My faith is personal," which is true- but its not the whole story. My relationship with God- what we talk about, what He convicts me of and encourages me with- is very much personal. But how that relationship changes me (and it must change me or it is not a vital relationship) does affect those around me. If I am sleeping, they are not challenged or pushed in their faith. But if I am energized, engaged, dare I say revolutionized? Then my faith begins to breathe into them. They too come alive.

I want to be a revolutionary Christian not so I can feel good about my personal faith, but so I can see others come fully alive. Saint Irenaeus said "The Glory of God is man fully alive." I want to be fully alive, and I want to lead others to that state, to bring glory to God.

I look around at my fellow Christ followers and see more people weighed down by the stresses of school, work, family and just general busy-ness than I see people buoyed by a vibrant faith in Christ. I want to see us stop trying to find a way to fit God into our lives, and start trying to find a way to work our lives around God. I'm not advocating setting aside three hour prayer sessions, or 24 hour Bible readings, I'm just saying if we care as much about seeking God as we do about getting a grade or meeting a deadline or watching that show, we might be a little different. We might see those stresses through the eyes of God, and thus see them as they are.

So, I challenge you. Find time to spend with God. Make Him of first importance. Before studying. Before work. Before family time. All of these endeavors will be made more fruitful if done as secondary to pursuing God.

We are desperate for something to believe. For something that makes us realize that there is something worth living for, something worth striving for. We need a Revolution of Faith.

So be the Revolutionary in your life.

Seek Him.

First.

Engaging = Shared Lives

I was the youth minister at a church once when I was the only minister on staff. They brought in an interim pastor, who really only came on Sunday to preach. During this time, I learned to engage the people of the church in a new way.

I began doing funerals.

At first I was terrified. I mean, I'm saying the last official words (whatever that means) about this person, and many of them I didn't even know. So I set out to learn about them from their families. My goal was always to tell the best story about the person I could, and not lie. I wanted more than anything to see a smile from the grieving- it meant I had somehow captured the deceased person's essence for that person. But in order to get there, I had to sincerely engage those in mourning. I had to let them talk, let them open up, and I had to relate to them. I had lost people, too, and I could empathize with them. For the brief time I spent with these families, we connected. Because I connected with the family, I was able to see a picture of this person who I barely knew or knew nothing of at all. I was there the day one sweet elderly lady was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was there as the family moved toward putting her into hospice care. I was there the morning she passed away, just hours before her final breath. And then, as I stood over her casket, I looked into the eyes of this family I had come to know. I saw their pain, their grief, but also their relief that her suffering was over.

And more than that, I felt it.

When you engage people, even if it is for a short time, there is a sharing of lives. I still remember that family, their faces, their kind words about their mother, and their smiles. I had set out to serve them in their time of need, but they served me. They showed me a valuable lesson about what it truly means to be in the family of God. They helped to mold me into who I am today.

Around this same time, I also learned a valuable lesson about what happens when we don't engage people. Our oldest daughter was going to be brought up for Baby Dedication- a sort of challenge to the church and the parents to pray for a newborn or young child. There were two families, ours and one other. Remember, I was the only minister on staff... and the interim pastor forgot our last name. And forgot my wife's name altogether. He hadn't bothered to really engage us at all. His conversations to me were more like lectures than actual chats. I found that I responded in kind, closing myself off and not caring to hear what he had to say.

The difference here, and it is important for us all to get this, is that for us to engage people- it has to be a two way street. Don't just try to pry yourself into their life, open yours to them. As you engage them, allow them to engage you.

I was reminded of this period of my life today when I read this article on Relevant's website. It is about how social media is a great tool for us as believers and how to best use it. It countered the idea that our constant status updates are narcissistic by stating that really we are sharing for the benefit of others. We are opening our lives, in hopes that they might open theirs.

That we might develop community.

That we might engage.



http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tech/blog/23025-why-social-media-is-good-for-us

Engaging

How often has this happened to you? You're in mid conversation with someone, maybe over coffee, or in front of the TV, or just in the hall, when you reach a threshold. Do I want to continue the small talk, or do I go deeper? Is this person worth my time, or, more importantly, am I worth theirs?

We spend so much of our time skimming the surface of our relationships, and so little time getting out the scuba gear and going deep. Truth be told, not every relationship can be ocean floor deep, nor should they be. But what of the relationships that matter? Would you really want to marry someone that you only knew a few general things about, none of which were anything close to personal? Would you enter into a business deal with only the barest of details and hint of what is to come?

Some relationships must go deeper- they must be engaged. I strongly believe that the group of people you call your church needs to be a people you engage. Again, depending on the size of you church, depth can't be achieved with everyone, but there needs to be people, fellow beleivers, that know your secrets. They need to know your strengths and your weakness, your struggles and your victories. Not just so they can pray for you, but so they can celebrate with you. I can get excited when 'my team' wins the game, but when I know a person on that team, know their story, I am all the more excited.

Now, there are different levels of engagement, some folks you can tell them when you're having a tough day, some folks you can tell them the specifics, and some folks you call the second things go south.

The "It's Been a Tough Day" Group
These people are in your life, not on the periphery, but actually people you talk with and care about. You are honest with them, and you need to be. If they ask how things are, you know better than to give them a half-hearted "Fine" if they are in fact, crappy. They don't want deep details, but they care enough to pray. This is ideally where the bulk of your fellow Christ Followers will fall.

The "Specifics"
You can be brutally honest with them. You tell them exactly why your day has tanked, and the conversation is deep enough and long enough that you might want to sit down for it. These folks tend to crop up in your smaller circles, like a small group or a class. They expect and will probably ask for what is really going on with you. There is an expectation of, for lack of a better word, confrontation. You are in their life and they are in yours.

The "Callers"
Very rarely, these people come along. If they aren't there physically with you, you contact them ASAP. They are in your top five speed dial positions. They may be family, a lifelong friend, or they may just be that deep, deep connection in your life. Sadly, we most often don't have these. The level of engagement it takes to get to this depth takes a long time and it is not easy or safe to get there. You have let them so far into your life, that they know things few, if any, others know. You've risked a lot in trusting anyone this deep, and they have returned the favor.

The key to engaging others is to be willing to be open, and to be willing to wait and listen until they feel open. We desperately need deeper community within our churches, the kind of 'fellowship' that the latter verses of Acts 2 talk about. Where we, despite our differences, truly engage each other in life. We need that connection to others, and they need us.

In order to grow in faith and maturity, we need to engage each other, and we need to engage God in a similar way- but thats another post for another day.