Engaging

How often has this happened to you? You're in mid conversation with someone, maybe over coffee, or in front of the TV, or just in the hall, when you reach a threshold. Do I want to continue the small talk, or do I go deeper? Is this person worth my time, or, more importantly, am I worth theirs?

We spend so much of our time skimming the surface of our relationships, and so little time getting out the scuba gear and going deep. Truth be told, not every relationship can be ocean floor deep, nor should they be. But what of the relationships that matter? Would you really want to marry someone that you only knew a few general things about, none of which were anything close to personal? Would you enter into a business deal with only the barest of details and hint of what is to come?

Some relationships must go deeper- they must be engaged. I strongly believe that the group of people you call your church needs to be a people you engage. Again, depending on the size of you church, depth can't be achieved with everyone, but there needs to be people, fellow beleivers, that know your secrets. They need to know your strengths and your weakness, your struggles and your victories. Not just so they can pray for you, but so they can celebrate with you. I can get excited when 'my team' wins the game, but when I know a person on that team, know their story, I am all the more excited.

Now, there are different levels of engagement, some folks you can tell them when you're having a tough day, some folks you can tell them the specifics, and some folks you call the second things go south.

The "It's Been a Tough Day" Group
These people are in your life, not on the periphery, but actually people you talk with and care about. You are honest with them, and you need to be. If they ask how things are, you know better than to give them a half-hearted "Fine" if they are in fact, crappy. They don't want deep details, but they care enough to pray. This is ideally where the bulk of your fellow Christ Followers will fall.

The "Specifics"
You can be brutally honest with them. You tell them exactly why your day has tanked, and the conversation is deep enough and long enough that you might want to sit down for it. These folks tend to crop up in your smaller circles, like a small group or a class. They expect and will probably ask for what is really going on with you. There is an expectation of, for lack of a better word, confrontation. You are in their life and they are in yours.

The "Callers"
Very rarely, these people come along. If they aren't there physically with you, you contact them ASAP. They are in your top five speed dial positions. They may be family, a lifelong friend, or they may just be that deep, deep connection in your life. Sadly, we most often don't have these. The level of engagement it takes to get to this depth takes a long time and it is not easy or safe to get there. You have let them so far into your life, that they know things few, if any, others know. You've risked a lot in trusting anyone this deep, and they have returned the favor.

The key to engaging others is to be willing to be open, and to be willing to wait and listen until they feel open. We desperately need deeper community within our churches, the kind of 'fellowship' that the latter verses of Acts 2 talk about. Where we, despite our differences, truly engage each other in life. We need that connection to others, and they need us.

In order to grow in faith and maturity, we need to engage each other, and we need to engage God in a similar way- but thats another post for another day.