I grew up on a ranch. We raised sheep mostly, but had a dozen or so cows as well. I was involved in 4-H, particularly in the sheep exhibitions, but one year my parents and I decided to try our hand at a heifer. So, we bought one from a neighbor, and drove her the mile or so home and placed her in a pen we had built to contain her. The fence was high, she had plenty of food and water, and shelter was good.
She promptly jumped the fence and headed home- to her home. We caught her, placed her back in the pen, but quickly realized adjustments had to be made to keep her contained. But she was still too crazy to get in the pen with her and try to tame her. Honestly, we didn't have a clue what to do with her, so my heifer showing career ended before it started.
I think back to that time in my early teen years and one thing is vivid: that cow was too wild to be contained, too strong to be tamed. You could see it in her eyes like a fire: "You don't know who you're dealing with." Eventually we released her to be with the other cows, and she went on to have lots of babies and live her life, her way.
I draw a lot of comparisons to that incident and how I often view God. I mean, I recognize the power of God, and even notice His wildness at times (seriously, watch a Texas thunderstorm sometime), but I often try to pen Him up into my idea of what God should be. Really, we all do it. We want Him to be more like us, to make sense when He talks and with what He does. We want his complexities and His justice to be only as deep and as understandable as human complexities and justice.
In essence, we want God to exist within us- that is to say, within the boundaries of our understanding. Anything outside of that is grounds for immediately discounting or distrusting God.
Man has always been this way. Ancient cultures handled it more with religion, going so far as to create new gods to explain the strange and scary things they saw. Even more sophisticated cultures like the Greeks and Romans went this way. They went out of their way to try to appease the gods, so they made statues to all of them, and even statues to gods they didn't yet know about just in case that god got mad at them and attacked. Really, though, it wasn't about protecting themselves from the gods as it was exercising control over them. At least, that's how Paul saw it.
On one of his trips, Paul came face to face with idolatry, aka man's pen for God. In an attempt to serve a god that made sense, they just made one up. Paul addressed this thinking like this:
“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’
--Acts 17:24-28
To me, seeing God as not being dependent on us is tremendously freeing. These words remind me that it is God who has mastery over me, not the other way around. And then, the fact that He actually penned us in (he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands) in an effort to call us to Him. He has set out to tame us- but not like we think.
I think we believe God sets rules to keep us from fun. God has actually set rules up to make life better. He wants to tame us from the actions that destroy us, but He wants us to be adventurous and full of life in our pursuit of Him. In that, He has set no limits. That leads me to my favorite part of this passage: 'For in him we live and move and have our being.’ Paul quotes a pagan philosopher who spoke a truth he didn't fully understand. That truth is that we exist in God. Not in an Eastern Mysticism "We are all god" way, but in a "God made us to exist for Him, whether we acknowledge it or not" way. He enables us to do what we do, even refuse Him.
Because God is big enough for that.
And no matter how hard we try, with idolatry or watering Him down to fit what we are comfortable with, we will not pen Him. His eyes are filled with a fire, not unlike the heifer of my youth, that screams of passion and power, and warns us that we don't know who we are messing with.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
$5 Compassion
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
--Matthew 9:36
There was this guy. He was always coming up to people in the parking lot outside my office asking for money. On a couple of occasions, I had some cash and let him have it, thinking I was doing a bit of a good deed. The problem was, this guy kept getting more aggressive with people. He would follow them to their car, or be waiting for them to get out of their car. If he did get money, he would bolt the parking lot and head north, to who knows where. Later, the sheriff's department alerted us that this gentleman was in fact taking the money and feeding his drug habit- and the more aggressive he got, the deeper into the addiction he was. I felt bad that my 'donation' had gone not to feed him, but rather to feed his addiction.
I remembered, around this time, a story I had heard from several different Christian circles of people who stocked up on $5 gift cards to McDonalds or Subway, so that when approached for money, they would give a card that guarranteed the person wouldn't get drugs- unless you count caffeine and those addictive fries. But the moment faded, and I never stocked up on gift cards.
All this time, our church, the Gate, was praying and seeking a way to serve our community. We'd volunteered at food banks and helped with A&M's Big Event service project, but they didn't come around too often, and both were services that the Bryan/College Station community actively- and in large quantities- supported. And, while Big Event allowed us to meet the person we were helping, the food pantry stuff mostly did not. We wanted- no, we needed- an opportunity to do something new and something that allowed us to share our faith with someone- but being a small church with a smaller bank account, we couldn't find it.
Through all these events, all this prayer, and all this frustration at not finding that 'big thing,' God spoke.
"Why does it have to be 'big'?"
Times are tough. People don't have as much to give. College students have less, and they made up our church. But everyone can give a little. Five bucks a month. It wouldn't take a much more than skipping one latte at Sweet Eugene's (for the Aggies out there) or Starbucks (for the rest of the world). Suddenly, God reminded me of the gift card idea. Spend $5 to get a gift card to some fast food place or even a coffee shop with the intent of giving it away.
Originally, the idea was to just give it to those folks on the side of the road or the homeless. But with our church being so full of the students, we realized they wouldn't run into as many of those folks as the rest of us.
But that didn't mean they wouldn't encounter the "harassed and helpless" that Jesus had compassion on.
Bad breakups. Failed tests. Financial shortfalls. Work stress. Nutty roommates. Any of these things and more could lead to a person needing compassion. So, this past Sunday, we launched a vision for our church to serve the communtity. The Gate bought twenty four $5 gift cards to McDonald's and gave them out amongst our church. This was the seed for them to begin thinking of and looking out for people who could use a little encouragement. The recipient could be someone they knew going through a tough time, or just someone they meet who seems to be having a bad day. Once a month, they give $5 Compassion to someone who needs a little encouragement and a kind, hopeful word. And if they feel so led, then they can give more than one card a month.
Each card contained a verse of Scripture, the church name and website, and a note to check our the $5 Compassion group on facebook and share their story. See, the vision is that $5 Compassion would not just be a ministry of the Gate, but of anyone who wants to make life a little brighter for everyone else. The idea is that those who recieve the gift can post on the site and share what it meant to them. And the one who gave the card can share what it was like to be able to help someone out. It is as much about sharing our stories and how God moves- even with just $5 of Compassion- in our lives as it is about the actual gift.
We added our church info to the card so that if someone does want to connect with God, they can find us- but you don't have to add the Gate to your card if you don't want to. Yeah, that's right- I'm issuing the challenge to you. Steal the idea. Run with it. Tell your friends. Because $5 Compassion is not about our church, our ideas, or your money. It is about showing, in a tangible way, that our God is in love with us. It's why we chose this verse for the cards:
The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
--Psalm 145: 8-9
So, go out, drop $5 on a gift card, and ask Jesus to give you His eyes to see people as He sees them. Allow your heart to be broken for a friend or a stranger who needs to love of God- whether that person knows of that love already or not.
And if $5 Compassion is something you can support, check us out on facebook at:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/5-Compassion/140630949332317?ref=ts (We're not eligible for a fancy username yet.)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Flag Football Grace
Today I am sore.
It takes great pains to lift my legs when walking. Rising from my chair requires a groan and many wobbles. I have a finger that is a lovely shade of purple.
This is all because, yesterday, I played flag football with our church. This translates into three people over the age of 30 playing with and against nine people under the age of 25. Six years makes a great deal of difference. I learned this among much other vitally important stuff.
For one, I learned that coordination at 31 is not what it was at 21. I learned that when the momentum of the upper body exceeds the terminal velocity of the lower body, one can enter into a "head skid." I learned that after falling on the ground, rolling is an excellent way to prevent your flags from being pulled- but it is not a legal way to gain yards. I learned that one's wife will, on instinct, trip you to prevent you from sacking her teammate. Lastly, I was reminded of what if feels like to be trapped.
I got to quarterback a few times, and each time, a rush came at me. What often happened was the rushers simply pushed the defenders back with them, so anywhere from three to five people were suddenly all in my space, with no way out. Running around it wasn't an option all that often (see the above mentioned age difference), so you often had to through up a hopeful pass or take the sack. Fortunately, we were playing flag football. Mostly. ( See above mentioned wife defensive strategy.)
It's one thing to feel trapped in a friendly flag football game. It's a totally different kind of trapped when you feel attacked- physically, spiritually, or emotionally. For me, the trapped feeling comes in one of two ways most often: from increased stress or from sin. Usually, they eventually tag team me.
I've felt trapped lately. Temptations rise around me like a defensive line going for the sack. The walls close in and I feel trapped, I can't see a way out of them. I can run for a bit, but I grow tired and the assailants don't. I look for a way out, but the added stress makes me question every decision, every way out is shut down by my feeling of oppression. The loss I take is much more deadly than taking a couple yards for a sack.
Praying the other day, I felt it impressed upon me to read Psalm 40. It's the one that starts out talking about waiting patiently for the Lord, then Him hearing the cry. U2 made a song about it:
In the middle of the Psalm, comes a plea. It comes from the depths of the man, of David who is no stranger to heart wrenching failure and oppression.
11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased to save me, LORD;
come quickly, LORD, to help me.
So often, it feels our heart fails. We know what is right, we know what is good. We know what hurts God, hurts those we love, hurts ourselves. But we grow weak in the moment. We give a little ground, and the sin takes the field in a stunning blitz we weren't prepared for. Our troubles overtake us, our sins overwhelm us and we can no longer see our salvation. So, in our moment of desperation, we throw up a prayer blindly. We hope it will find it's intended target before we take the sack. We can't see Him out there, we just hope He is 'pleased to save me.'
I don't know how He does it. I don't know why and definitely not when He does it. But He saves us. Not just that first time when we first meet Him, but daily. He does hear us, and though His answer is not always immediate, He does rescue us. HE snatches our plea for rescue from the air and brings it down securely in His possession. Then He helps us.
He calms us if we will listen for Him and wait for Him. He heals us if we are willing to forgive ourselves for getting into the mess in the first place. He restores us if we are willing to shed the sin that has grown painfully into our skin. And make no mistake, ridding our lives of sin will hurt. Maybe it's the mild removal of a splinter kind of hurt, maybe it's an amputation kind of hurt. Either way, removing a sin that has become a part of you would kill you- if you weren't already dead to sin but alive in Christ (Romans 6:11).
My soreness today reminds of a good memory- a great game with good friends. The soreness of sin however reminds us of how quickly we can get lost in the old us. If only we would remember the pain of sin when in the midst of pursuing it again. There is another ache, however, that rises when we perpetually return to our old sins. It is the ache of longing for God. The ache of losing sight of Him, of broken relations with Him. Of a heart that has failed.
Sin leads to death. Death comes from a heart that has failed- both physically and spiritually.
So if your heart is failing, your options for escape have faded away or you've given up on them, lift your eyes to patch of sky that is still visible in your haze. It's there, trust me. Throw your last hope for rescue at it, trusting in a God you've strayed from but who has never left you. It's not logical, it's not good football strategy to toss a blind pass in the vain hope your receiver will snag it.
It's a good thing Jesus isn't like a flag football receiver, isn't it?
It takes great pains to lift my legs when walking. Rising from my chair requires a groan and many wobbles. I have a finger that is a lovely shade of purple.
This is all because, yesterday, I played flag football with our church. This translates into three people over the age of 30 playing with and against nine people under the age of 25. Six years makes a great deal of difference. I learned this among much other vitally important stuff.
For one, I learned that coordination at 31 is not what it was at 21. I learned that when the momentum of the upper body exceeds the terminal velocity of the lower body, one can enter into a "head skid." I learned that after falling on the ground, rolling is an excellent way to prevent your flags from being pulled- but it is not a legal way to gain yards. I learned that one's wife will, on instinct, trip you to prevent you from sacking her teammate. Lastly, I was reminded of what if feels like to be trapped.
I got to quarterback a few times, and each time, a rush came at me. What often happened was the rushers simply pushed the defenders back with them, so anywhere from three to five people were suddenly all in my space, with no way out. Running around it wasn't an option all that often (see the above mentioned age difference), so you often had to through up a hopeful pass or take the sack. Fortunately, we were playing flag football. Mostly. ( See above mentioned wife defensive strategy.)
It's one thing to feel trapped in a friendly flag football game. It's a totally different kind of trapped when you feel attacked- physically, spiritually, or emotionally. For me, the trapped feeling comes in one of two ways most often: from increased stress or from sin. Usually, they eventually tag team me.
I've felt trapped lately. Temptations rise around me like a defensive line going for the sack. The walls close in and I feel trapped, I can't see a way out of them. I can run for a bit, but I grow tired and the assailants don't. I look for a way out, but the added stress makes me question every decision, every way out is shut down by my feeling of oppression. The loss I take is much more deadly than taking a couple yards for a sack.
Praying the other day, I felt it impressed upon me to read Psalm 40. It's the one that starts out talking about waiting patiently for the Lord, then Him hearing the cry. U2 made a song about it:
In the middle of the Psalm, comes a plea. It comes from the depths of the man, of David who is no stranger to heart wrenching failure and oppression.
11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased to save me, LORD;
come quickly, LORD, to help me.
So often, it feels our heart fails. We know what is right, we know what is good. We know what hurts God, hurts those we love, hurts ourselves. But we grow weak in the moment. We give a little ground, and the sin takes the field in a stunning blitz we weren't prepared for. Our troubles overtake us, our sins overwhelm us and we can no longer see our salvation. So, in our moment of desperation, we throw up a prayer blindly. We hope it will find it's intended target before we take the sack. We can't see Him out there, we just hope He is 'pleased to save me.'
I don't know how He does it. I don't know why and definitely not when He does it. But He saves us. Not just that first time when we first meet Him, but daily. He does hear us, and though His answer is not always immediate, He does rescue us. HE snatches our plea for rescue from the air and brings it down securely in His possession. Then He helps us.
He calms us if we will listen for Him and wait for Him. He heals us if we are willing to forgive ourselves for getting into the mess in the first place. He restores us if we are willing to shed the sin that has grown painfully into our skin. And make no mistake, ridding our lives of sin will hurt. Maybe it's the mild removal of a splinter kind of hurt, maybe it's an amputation kind of hurt. Either way, removing a sin that has become a part of you would kill you- if you weren't already dead to sin but alive in Christ (Romans 6:11).
My soreness today reminds of a good memory- a great game with good friends. The soreness of sin however reminds us of how quickly we can get lost in the old us. If only we would remember the pain of sin when in the midst of pursuing it again. There is another ache, however, that rises when we perpetually return to our old sins. It is the ache of longing for God. The ache of losing sight of Him, of broken relations with Him. Of a heart that has failed.
Sin leads to death. Death comes from a heart that has failed- both physically and spiritually.
So if your heart is failing, your options for escape have faded away or you've given up on them, lift your eyes to patch of sky that is still visible in your haze. It's there, trust me. Throw your last hope for rescue at it, trusting in a God you've strayed from but who has never left you. It's not logical, it's not good football strategy to toss a blind pass in the vain hope your receiver will snag it.
It's a good thing Jesus isn't like a flag football receiver, isn't it?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Love is Violence
If you have ever loved someone, you know this: Love Hurts.
With love, you can hurt someone or be hurt by someone. It may be a word, an action, an inaction, or a even a thought that does the violence, but a violence is nonetheless done. Just this past weekend, at a family gathering, I snapped a picture of our six year old. As I looked at the picture in the view finder, I made an audible grown. For the face I had captured was not the cute little six year old, but a face that seemed a good fifteen years older. That little face brought a flood of feelings and anticipations: the first time she'll not want us to walk all the way to the door of school, the first boy, the first date, college departure; having to let her go a little at each juncture. In that picture, I loved her so much, and was so injured in my heart because of it.
When we love, there is a violence inside of us, a passion that more than turns our heart, it tears it. This emotional hurt doesn't just come from bad things, but good as well. Seeing one we love succeed swells our heart to a breaking point, watching them find their own way makes our heart break at the thought that when they find it, they won't need us as much.
And there is the thing: when we watch those we love grow as people, we are not just seeing them go through difficulties and victories- we are sharing in them. Our hearts hurt because they are attached to those we love, and the pulling and tugging that goes on as our connection is stressed and strained and relaxed and back to stressed is a violence. I believe its why we have such a hard time loving a lot of people, it just hurts us too much.
Now imagine how God feels.
We have a very small, relatively, number of people we are called to love. God loves every being who has ever lived- and even those who have yet to live. Each heartbreak they experience, each swelling hope they find, He feels it. He smiles at their happiness and when the gravity of emotion swings the other way, His heart breaks in their sorrow.
His love is an active love, more so than any of our love. He has taking great action to show us His love, and to make His love available to us. He has gone to war for His beloved, His chosen. He spent much of the Old Testament fighting literal wars for the hearts of the Israelites. He has waged a spiritual war from the beginning for the souls of Mankind. His violent love reached a peak when, out of His love for us and for His own holiness, He killed His own Son. Make no mistake, God SENT Jesus to die. And I believe Jesus knew it was out of love that He sent him to die. Love for us. Love for His Son. Love for all of Creation.
God is love. John says this in 1 John. If we know that love hurts, what must the existence of God, who is love, be like? If God is love, He cannot be some fat, lazy, inactive God who merely observes the plight of His beloved. Would you sit idly by while your beloved went to their death, or would you rise up to fight for them? God is moved by love, and there are times His movements are violent. There are times that His love for us moves Him to violently shake our lives to wake us up. There are times He must violently defend our honor, or even violently rebuke us. In it all, I believe God suffers with us in our trials.
He truly feels our pain.
And because He loves, He endures.
And if we love Him, then we too must endure. When He doesn't make sense. When He doesn't seem to speak. When He doesn't seem to act. When He seems harsh. When He convicts and punishes us.
Because all of that is God working through the pain of His existence.
Because God is love.
With love, you can hurt someone or be hurt by someone. It may be a word, an action, an inaction, or a even a thought that does the violence, but a violence is nonetheless done. Just this past weekend, at a family gathering, I snapped a picture of our six year old. As I looked at the picture in the view finder, I made an audible grown. For the face I had captured was not the cute little six year old, but a face that seemed a good fifteen years older. That little face brought a flood of feelings and anticipations: the first time she'll not want us to walk all the way to the door of school, the first boy, the first date, college departure; having to let her go a little at each juncture. In that picture, I loved her so much, and was so injured in my heart because of it.
When we love, there is a violence inside of us, a passion that more than turns our heart, it tears it. This emotional hurt doesn't just come from bad things, but good as well. Seeing one we love succeed swells our heart to a breaking point, watching them find their own way makes our heart break at the thought that when they find it, they won't need us as much.
And there is the thing: when we watch those we love grow as people, we are not just seeing them go through difficulties and victories- we are sharing in them. Our hearts hurt because they are attached to those we love, and the pulling and tugging that goes on as our connection is stressed and strained and relaxed and back to stressed is a violence. I believe its why we have such a hard time loving a lot of people, it just hurts us too much.
Now imagine how God feels.
We have a very small, relatively, number of people we are called to love. God loves every being who has ever lived- and even those who have yet to live. Each heartbreak they experience, each swelling hope they find, He feels it. He smiles at their happiness and when the gravity of emotion swings the other way, His heart breaks in their sorrow.
His love is an active love, more so than any of our love. He has taking great action to show us His love, and to make His love available to us. He has gone to war for His beloved, His chosen. He spent much of the Old Testament fighting literal wars for the hearts of the Israelites. He has waged a spiritual war from the beginning for the souls of Mankind. His violent love reached a peak when, out of His love for us and for His own holiness, He killed His own Son. Make no mistake, God SENT Jesus to die. And I believe Jesus knew it was out of love that He sent him to die. Love for us. Love for His Son. Love for all of Creation.
God is love. John says this in 1 John. If we know that love hurts, what must the existence of God, who is love, be like? If God is love, He cannot be some fat, lazy, inactive God who merely observes the plight of His beloved. Would you sit idly by while your beloved went to their death, or would you rise up to fight for them? God is moved by love, and there are times His movements are violent. There are times that His love for us moves Him to violently shake our lives to wake us up. There are times He must violently defend our honor, or even violently rebuke us. In it all, I believe God suffers with us in our trials.
He truly feels our pain.
And because He loves, He endures.
And if we love Him, then we too must endure. When He doesn't make sense. When He doesn't seem to speak. When He doesn't seem to act. When He seems harsh. When He convicts and punishes us.
Because all of that is God working through the pain of His existence.
Because God is love.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Fear of and Friendship with God
There was a time when batting averages meant more to me than Batman.
In my pre-teen years, I was a baseball fan. Specifically the St. Louis Cardinals, largely because my Mom's side of the family lived in St. Louis and I had been to their games. And at the very top of the list of favorite baseball players was Ozzie Smith. In the 80's and early 90's he dominated the Golden Glove competitions. He was an acrobat on the field, making amazing catches and plays on a daily basis. And at every game, he would come onto the field for introductions by doing a flip. I tried to emulate this in my baseball days by doing a handspring off the field if we won.
One day, we were in St. Louis visiting with family and we went to his restaurant- Ozzies's. While we were ordering, I happened to look up, and through the back door walked my idol- Ozzie Smith himself. Clearly, he didn't want a lot of attention, and it looked like he was there on business, but one of my family members managed to get me an audience with him. So, there I stood, about to meet the epitome of baseball in my life- and I was terrified. Excited, overwhelmed, but most definitely terrified. I didn't want to offend him, or put him out, I didn't want to do anything to cause him to be angry at me. I had always heard he was a nice guy, but he was so famous, so important, what right had I to ask for his attention. But I did, and managed an autograph as well, but not before being so in shock that I forgot my name. I still have that autograph, and a picture with my childhood hero, (and a pilfered menu from the restaurant) framed in my home.
I would imagine the feeling I had that day was not unlike the feeling the Hebrews had at Mt. Sinai, only they were justified in fearing the wrath of God being unleashed. They stood at the feet of a mountain that was, for the moment, home to their God. They had seen his exploits, his displays of power, and they had seen the results: lots of dead people. So they feared this powerful God. Hebrews 12:18-21 says it this way:
" You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”
We call this the Old Testament God. He is full of wrath and fire and judgment and war. He scares us. So we like to think nothing of Him. He is a historical God, and God has changed. He is now much more approachable, much nicer. Hebrews 12: 22-24 even gives that impression on first glance:
But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
Our God is happy now. He is gentle and sweet, he does not hold us under the threat of death. Does He?
It seems we believe that God changed. That He softened as He grew older. But the Bible says God doesn't change, that He is the "same yesterday, today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) And then we read the rest of that passage in Hebrews 12:25-29, and we see that in fact, God has not changed:
See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”
Like the awe and reverence I felt that day with Ozzie Smith are we to worship God. Still not flippantly, still not with empty promises, but now, we are friends- respectful friends, because we are definitely the lesser in the friendship. So if God didn't change, and He is still that wrathful, passionate, jealous God, why are we able to approach Him without that same fear of death?
Because God changed the people He has chosen.
I'm not saying He changed the chosen from the Jews to the Christians- He changed those who chose Him. We are different from the Hebrews at Sinai, from Uzza when he touched the Ark of the Covenant improperly, different even from David who made choices that lead to tragedies and plagues. They all still sought God with their own heart, some better than others. But we who choose God do not seek Him with our own heart.
We seek Him with a new heart.
Jeremiah 24:7 has God saying "I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. " The Old Testament people had hearts incapable of knowing God intimately, there was a separation that could not be bridged, no matter how many sacrifices and offerings they made. There was a disconnect from God. He was perfect, and they were not, so they could not be near to Him. This prophecy of Jeremiah was fulfilled through Jesus, when we who came to Jesus were given a new heart- that we may know God. While we are not yet perfect, God has made the way we can worship Him perfect. WE still mess it up, but the opportunity to worship God in perfect union with Him is there. We can approach God, because He has made it possible.
So today, the God we worship is still the God of the Old Testament. He is still jealous, still wrathful, still powerful in battle- still a warrior (Exodus 15:3). But He is also compassionate, gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love (Exodus 34:6), just like He always has been. I wish we approached Him in worship, prayer and everyday life with a bit of a mix: part reverence, awe and fear, and part as friends. He is our friend who loves us and forgives us, but He is also our friend who can wipe us from existence and holds our eternity in His grasp.
Ozzie Smith was a nice guy, he was kind and patient with me. But his presence still made me tremble with a bit of fear. Because he mattered so much to me as a pre-teen I wanted- no, I needed- to be right in his presence. I wanted to be worthy of meeting him and getting his autograph, and I wanted it so bad that I was in awe of him.
Does God matter that much to us, that we want so badly to be worthy of His gift that we quake before Him?
In my pre-teen years, I was a baseball fan. Specifically the St. Louis Cardinals, largely because my Mom's side of the family lived in St. Louis and I had been to their games. And at the very top of the list of favorite baseball players was Ozzie Smith. In the 80's and early 90's he dominated the Golden Glove competitions. He was an acrobat on the field, making amazing catches and plays on a daily basis. And at every game, he would come onto the field for introductions by doing a flip. I tried to emulate this in my baseball days by doing a handspring off the field if we won.
One day, we were in St. Louis visiting with family and we went to his restaurant- Ozzies's. While we were ordering, I happened to look up, and through the back door walked my idol- Ozzie Smith himself. Clearly, he didn't want a lot of attention, and it looked like he was there on business, but one of my family members managed to get me an audience with him. So, there I stood, about to meet the epitome of baseball in my life- and I was terrified. Excited, overwhelmed, but most definitely terrified. I didn't want to offend him, or put him out, I didn't want to do anything to cause him to be angry at me. I had always heard he was a nice guy, but he was so famous, so important, what right had I to ask for his attention. But I did, and managed an autograph as well, but not before being so in shock that I forgot my name. I still have that autograph, and a picture with my childhood hero, (and a pilfered menu from the restaurant) framed in my home.
I would imagine the feeling I had that day was not unlike the feeling the Hebrews had at Mt. Sinai, only they were justified in fearing the wrath of God being unleashed. They stood at the feet of a mountain that was, for the moment, home to their God. They had seen his exploits, his displays of power, and they had seen the results: lots of dead people. So they feared this powerful God. Hebrews 12:18-21 says it this way:
" You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”
We call this the Old Testament God. He is full of wrath and fire and judgment and war. He scares us. So we like to think nothing of Him. He is a historical God, and God has changed. He is now much more approachable, much nicer. Hebrews 12: 22-24 even gives that impression on first glance:
But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
Our God is happy now. He is gentle and sweet, he does not hold us under the threat of death. Does He?
It seems we believe that God changed. That He softened as He grew older. But the Bible says God doesn't change, that He is the "same yesterday, today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) And then we read the rest of that passage in Hebrews 12:25-29, and we see that in fact, God has not changed:
See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”
Like the awe and reverence I felt that day with Ozzie Smith are we to worship God. Still not flippantly, still not with empty promises, but now, we are friends- respectful friends, because we are definitely the lesser in the friendship. So if God didn't change, and He is still that wrathful, passionate, jealous God, why are we able to approach Him without that same fear of death?
Because God changed the people He has chosen.
I'm not saying He changed the chosen from the Jews to the Christians- He changed those who chose Him. We are different from the Hebrews at Sinai, from Uzza when he touched the Ark of the Covenant improperly, different even from David who made choices that lead to tragedies and plagues. They all still sought God with their own heart, some better than others. But we who choose God do not seek Him with our own heart.
We seek Him with a new heart.
Jeremiah 24:7 has God saying "I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. " The Old Testament people had hearts incapable of knowing God intimately, there was a separation that could not be bridged, no matter how many sacrifices and offerings they made. There was a disconnect from God. He was perfect, and they were not, so they could not be near to Him. This prophecy of Jeremiah was fulfilled through Jesus, when we who came to Jesus were given a new heart- that we may know God. While we are not yet perfect, God has made the way we can worship Him perfect. WE still mess it up, but the opportunity to worship God in perfect union with Him is there. We can approach God, because He has made it possible.
So today, the God we worship is still the God of the Old Testament. He is still jealous, still wrathful, still powerful in battle- still a warrior (Exodus 15:3). But He is also compassionate, gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love (Exodus 34:6), just like He always has been. I wish we approached Him in worship, prayer and everyday life with a bit of a mix: part reverence, awe and fear, and part as friends. He is our friend who loves us and forgives us, but He is also our friend who can wipe us from existence and holds our eternity in His grasp.
Ozzie Smith was a nice guy, he was kind and patient with me. But his presence still made me tremble with a bit of fear. Because he mattered so much to me as a pre-teen I wanted- no, I needed- to be right in his presence. I wanted to be worthy of meeting him and getting his autograph, and I wanted it so bad that I was in awe of him.
Does God matter that much to us, that we want so badly to be worthy of His gift that we quake before Him?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Action Figures and Lessons on God's Kindness
Before I start, let me clarify that I am a grown man, and I am thoroughly confident in my adulthood.
I collect action figures. Specifically DC superheroes like Batman, Superman and Green Lantern. The specific type is often difficult to find, so there is a lot of browsing Walmart and Toys R Us (good thing I have kids to use as an excuse to go), or trying to find a cheap on-line dealer. Occasionally, they run an exclusive line to Walmart. This means if you don't find it there, good luck paying retail prices on Ebay. (Hint, it doesn't happen.) So Friday I made a run, based on the info that these things were starting to hit stores all over the country. I admit I actually prayed that they'd be there, and fully explained to God that I realized this was totally un-spiritual and sort of indulgent. There weren't any out, so I asked a sales associate if they knew when any might come in. She went to check, and ten minutes later she returned with a box containing just what I was looking for. I was so glad to have just saved a ton of time and gas trying to catch these elusive plastic heroes and I thanked the nice lady, and made my purchase.
Then, I remembered my prayer. And I realized that God's kindness isn't always in the form of the super-spiritual. How often have you found a parking spot right there at the door that was open? Or gotten a random check in the mail when you needed it? Or heard a favorite song just when you were needing it?
The truth is, God cares about what makes you happy. He doesn't always make it happen, but He loves to see you smile. Every now and then, He gives you that little cherry on top- that "I know you'll like this!" type of kindness.
I know some people will say these things are just coincidence, or random things happening. And you can believe that, but I choose to believe that there is a personal God who loves me. A God who desires to show me kindness, even in the inconsequential things. And why would God show so much kindness?
" Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" --Romans 2:4
Paul is saying God puts off His wrath to show His kindness so that you'll repent. Why stop at just the withholding of wrath as His demonstration of kindness? Jesus would kindly allow an adulteress to live, and nudged her toward repentance. He was kind to Zacchaeus, who then made his tax collector indiscretions right.
When I found those un-important action figures, it showed me God cared. And if God cared about the little things in my life, maybe I should to. Those little moments of indulging in sin needed to be paid attention to. God cared enough to try to make me smile with a little thing, maybe I should care enough to honor Him in the little things.
So, I thanked God for the action figures. And for His kindness.
I collect action figures. Specifically DC superheroes like Batman, Superman and Green Lantern. The specific type is often difficult to find, so there is a lot of browsing Walmart and Toys R Us (good thing I have kids to use as an excuse to go), or trying to find a cheap on-line dealer. Occasionally, they run an exclusive line to Walmart. This means if you don't find it there, good luck paying retail prices on Ebay. (Hint, it doesn't happen.) So Friday I made a run, based on the info that these things were starting to hit stores all over the country. I admit I actually prayed that they'd be there, and fully explained to God that I realized this was totally un-spiritual and sort of indulgent. There weren't any out, so I asked a sales associate if they knew when any might come in. She went to check, and ten minutes later she returned with a box containing just what I was looking for. I was so glad to have just saved a ton of time and gas trying to catch these elusive plastic heroes and I thanked the nice lady, and made my purchase.
Then, I remembered my prayer. And I realized that God's kindness isn't always in the form of the super-spiritual. How often have you found a parking spot right there at the door that was open? Or gotten a random check in the mail when you needed it? Or heard a favorite song just when you were needing it?
The truth is, God cares about what makes you happy. He doesn't always make it happen, but He loves to see you smile. Every now and then, He gives you that little cherry on top- that "I know you'll like this!" type of kindness.
I know some people will say these things are just coincidence, or random things happening. And you can believe that, but I choose to believe that there is a personal God who loves me. A God who desires to show me kindness, even in the inconsequential things. And why would God show so much kindness?
" Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" --Romans 2:4
Paul is saying God puts off His wrath to show His kindness so that you'll repent. Why stop at just the withholding of wrath as His demonstration of kindness? Jesus would kindly allow an adulteress to live, and nudged her toward repentance. He was kind to Zacchaeus, who then made his tax collector indiscretions right.
When I found those un-important action figures, it showed me God cared. And if God cared about the little things in my life, maybe I should to. Those little moments of indulging in sin needed to be paid attention to. God cared enough to try to make me smile with a little thing, maybe I should care enough to honor Him in the little things.
So, I thanked God for the action figures. And for His kindness.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Dichotomy of Glory
You know how you pray for God to break you? I never knew just how much that meant your emotions and heart could be be literally torn in two different directions. This week, I have been experiencing this strange division of thought, both first hand and in the lives of friends. As I was praying about the whirlwind I found myself in, this idea of the Dichotomy of Glory rose up.
How glory can be found in two opposite things, at the same time.
How God can be lifted up by polarized events.
Life and Death
Yesterday, I went to the hospital to visit my friends (and co-Gate leaders) Wally and Crissy. They had just become proud parents of a sleepy (for the moment) baby boy named Liam. I walked into a room filled with family and friends of the new Mom and Dad, and gazed into their smiling, beaming faces as I shook hands and introduced myself. Then, in the faces of Wally and Crissy, I saw another dichotomy- a strange but familiar mixture of excitement and exhaustion. Every hospital room I've ever entered with the intent of congratulating new parents has held the same expression my friends held. After a long sleepless and uncomfortable night, a new joy was here. As much as they said they were exhausted and couldn't wait to sleep, I knew they would just as soon spend the next week gazing at this little miracle they could call their own.
I walked into my home, just a few minutes later, and saw Kristin sitting at the computer, tears in her eyes. Before I could tell here about what I had just seen, she informed me that another couple that we are friends with, Jay and Amanda, had just lost their baby. Jay and Amanda are also friends with Wally and Crissy, so the fact that two groups of people we know would experience the opposite ends of a similar event on the same day left us questioning: How could this be?
On one hand, God has been glorified by the miracle of birth and thankfulness of one family, but He has also been glorified by the tragedy of another. Over the last day, Amanda and Jay have been an amazing example of faith and trust in a sometimes incomprehensible God. They have turned to Him, they have trusted in Him. They have glorified Him.
No, it doesn't make sense. I rejoice with Wally and Crissy. But I grieve with Jay and Amanda. With both, we must trust God. I think another of our friends, Michelle, said it best: "Celebrating today with a dear friend for the birth of her son. Mourning today with a dear friend for the loss of her son. Two friends. Same God. I have no words."
It is at times like this where we don't know what to say. Often, I simply want to say, "I have nothing to offer but my prayers and my God. May they be sufficient."
Duty and Passion
I have a real job. It's purpose is to pay the bills to enable us to lead our church. It is not my passion, nor even an interest of mine. It is a gift of God and came just when we needed it. Over the last three years, I have built relationships, and I have done my duty. Occasionally I've done a real good job. I don't wake up excited to go to work, but I try to do the best I can at it. When I succeed at this and at sharing my life and love for Christ with my co-workers, God is glorified.
For the past month or so, I have been meeting with some guys. Four different guys, four different types of conversations, four very uplifting times for me. Because I see God working in their lives, I am being challenged in my faith. My vision for serving Christ through the Gate has awakened. My passion for His calling on my life has burned brighter, and more intense than it has since we first set out to begin this journey three years ago. I have desire to write, and want to do it more and more. I want to publish a book I've written. I want to meet more people. I want to work hard at making the Gate an entity that points to God by reaching those farthest from Him. My passion is awakened, this glorifies God.
I am now torn between glorifying God by doing a good job at my "real job" and glorifying God by pursuing the passion He sent me here for. The problem is that neither is happening the best they can because I am divided. Can I do both? I've been good at doing one real well to the detriment of the other, or doing both in a mediocre way. That doesn't glorify God.
Safety or Jump
So here I am. Torn. God can be glorified by life or death. God can be glorified by duty or passion. For me, the question is, can I glorify God by staying in the safe place, with my job, or do I have to take a leap of faith? I know of a lot of people who can balance the bi-vocational life, but can I?
The last time I took a leap of faith, a real jump, was when we moved to College Station to start the Gate. We left the safety of an established ministry for the uncertainty of a brand new bar church for college students. It has been the toughest thing I have ever done, but in many ways, through numerous relationships, I believe it may have brought more glory to God than anything else I have ever done.
I think about the glory I saw on display yesterday. The glory of a newborn child and the glory of a grieving family enveloped in the arms of Christ. I shared with them their glory: smiles for the new baby and tears for the one lost.
As C. S. Lewis said, "The load, or weight, or burden, of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken." God has been breaking me. He has been humbling me, showing me that I need to rely on Him. Does that mean I leave a job for the uncertainty of scrounging together funding for the church? I don't know. I share my dichotomy of glory with you so that you have the opportunity to carry the weight of my glory- from the good or the bad- just as I have had the blessing of bearing the weight of glory of Wally and Crissy and Jay and Amanda.
It has made me see Christ more clearly this late Fall day. His glory is what matters, let us seek it together whether we find in life or death, duty or passion.
How glory can be found in two opposite things, at the same time.
How God can be lifted up by polarized events.
Life and Death
Yesterday, I went to the hospital to visit my friends (and co-Gate leaders) Wally and Crissy. They had just become proud parents of a sleepy (for the moment) baby boy named Liam. I walked into a room filled with family and friends of the new Mom and Dad, and gazed into their smiling, beaming faces as I shook hands and introduced myself. Then, in the faces of Wally and Crissy, I saw another dichotomy- a strange but familiar mixture of excitement and exhaustion. Every hospital room I've ever entered with the intent of congratulating new parents has held the same expression my friends held. After a long sleepless and uncomfortable night, a new joy was here. As much as they said they were exhausted and couldn't wait to sleep, I knew they would just as soon spend the next week gazing at this little miracle they could call their own.
I walked into my home, just a few minutes later, and saw Kristin sitting at the computer, tears in her eyes. Before I could tell here about what I had just seen, she informed me that another couple that we are friends with, Jay and Amanda, had just lost their baby. Jay and Amanda are also friends with Wally and Crissy, so the fact that two groups of people we know would experience the opposite ends of a similar event on the same day left us questioning: How could this be?
On one hand, God has been glorified by the miracle of birth and thankfulness of one family, but He has also been glorified by the tragedy of another. Over the last day, Amanda and Jay have been an amazing example of faith and trust in a sometimes incomprehensible God. They have turned to Him, they have trusted in Him. They have glorified Him.
No, it doesn't make sense. I rejoice with Wally and Crissy. But I grieve with Jay and Amanda. With both, we must trust God. I think another of our friends, Michelle, said it best: "Celebrating today with a dear friend for the birth of her son. Mourning today with a dear friend for the loss of her son. Two friends. Same God. I have no words."
It is at times like this where we don't know what to say. Often, I simply want to say, "I have nothing to offer but my prayers and my God. May they be sufficient."
Duty and Passion
I have a real job. It's purpose is to pay the bills to enable us to lead our church. It is not my passion, nor even an interest of mine. It is a gift of God and came just when we needed it. Over the last three years, I have built relationships, and I have done my duty. Occasionally I've done a real good job. I don't wake up excited to go to work, but I try to do the best I can at it. When I succeed at this and at sharing my life and love for Christ with my co-workers, God is glorified.
For the past month or so, I have been meeting with some guys. Four different guys, four different types of conversations, four very uplifting times for me. Because I see God working in their lives, I am being challenged in my faith. My vision for serving Christ through the Gate has awakened. My passion for His calling on my life has burned brighter, and more intense than it has since we first set out to begin this journey three years ago. I have desire to write, and want to do it more and more. I want to publish a book I've written. I want to meet more people. I want to work hard at making the Gate an entity that points to God by reaching those farthest from Him. My passion is awakened, this glorifies God.
I am now torn between glorifying God by doing a good job at my "real job" and glorifying God by pursuing the passion He sent me here for. The problem is that neither is happening the best they can because I am divided. Can I do both? I've been good at doing one real well to the detriment of the other, or doing both in a mediocre way. That doesn't glorify God.
Safety or Jump
So here I am. Torn. God can be glorified by life or death. God can be glorified by duty or passion. For me, the question is, can I glorify God by staying in the safe place, with my job, or do I have to take a leap of faith? I know of a lot of people who can balance the bi-vocational life, but can I?
The last time I took a leap of faith, a real jump, was when we moved to College Station to start the Gate. We left the safety of an established ministry for the uncertainty of a brand new bar church for college students. It has been the toughest thing I have ever done, but in many ways, through numerous relationships, I believe it may have brought more glory to God than anything else I have ever done.
I think about the glory I saw on display yesterday. The glory of a newborn child and the glory of a grieving family enveloped in the arms of Christ. I shared with them their glory: smiles for the new baby and tears for the one lost.
As C. S. Lewis said, "The load, or weight, or burden, of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken." God has been breaking me. He has been humbling me, showing me that I need to rely on Him. Does that mean I leave a job for the uncertainty of scrounging together funding for the church? I don't know. I share my dichotomy of glory with you so that you have the opportunity to carry the weight of my glory- from the good or the bad- just as I have had the blessing of bearing the weight of glory of Wally and Crissy and Jay and Amanda.
It has made me see Christ more clearly this late Fall day. His glory is what matters, let us seek it together whether we find in life or death, duty or passion.
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