Repressive aka Let's Talk About Sex

"The church's stance on murder is just so...archaic."

"I wish the church wouldn't be so against stealing. I mean, come on, it's the 21st century"

"I'd go to church, but I just feel like Christianity's opposition to lying stifles me too much."

Let's be honest, when people accuse the church of being repressive, these arguments are never heard. At least, I've not heard them. Maybe the second one a little in the area of illegal downloads from the internet, but definitely not the first one.

No, when the church is accused of being repressive, its about sex.

It seems the church is far more known for what sex it is opposed to than for the fact that God actually created sex and created it to be a worshipful act. And it is important that we recognize that there is a need for lots of the "rules" the church puts out there, but we need to understand why.

The Rules

Leviticus 18 is chock full of rules, most of them common sense. Like don't sleep with a relative. Apparently, this was a major problem as about 75% of the rules in this chapter deal with that. But it also deals with not sleeping with your neighbor's wife or engaging in bestiality. It touches on not engaging in homosexuality, as well.

Lest that one be relegated to the area of "Well, that was the Old Testament..." Acts 2 comes down pretty hard against men sleeping with men and women abandoning normal relations for "unnatural ones."

It's here that many people start in with the argument that "See the church is being repressive, they don't want me to be me, to have any fun." Which gets us to an interesting point- modern sexuality would have you place your primary identity in your sexual identity. Your entire worldview is colored (including your religion) by whether you are gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgendered, or whatever sexuality you engage in. Your religion, your job, your race- all of these are secondary to your sexuality. That's the perception I see, anyway.

Back to the point- does the church just not want us to enjoy ourselves? Is the church really trying to squash our fun?

Before the rules start flowing in Leviticus 18, we get verse 5:

Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.

At first glance, it seems the verse is being redundant. Obey these rules and live by them. Isn't that what obeying means, to live by something? But the Bible is fond of using that word 'live' in the context of finding true life. I believe that to be the case here. Obey these rules, and you will find true life.

In fact, I think all the laws are based in that idea- do this to find fulfillment in life. The dietary laws are often pointed out as being out-dated and totally ignored by modern Christians- even the New Testament explicitly spells out that we are free from them. But they were laws that were meant to keep people from eating pork and shellfish that were often ill-prepared, resulting in illness. And I love the taste of bacon, but let's be honest- it will kill you. Eventually.

So, I believe the laws of the Bible are not about keeping us from fun and enjoyment. God, who created us and knows us inside and out, is saying that His way is the best way to live. It's the way to find life.

( A side note. Google Oxytocin. It's this chemical that is released in nursing mothers to bond their child to them, and them to the child. It's called the "cuddle chemical." It is also released during sex to bond the partners together. For a long time, the church has said that sex is more than a physical act and that there is no such thing as casual hook-ups. It is a spiritual connection. Now science is saying that sex is in fact an act that bonds, in a profound way, two people together. And who says the Church is Anti-Science. ;) )

Let's Talk About Sex

The church has rightfully been accused of not talking about sex. Because it hasn't. The only time Christians talk about sex is to say "Don't do it. Unless your married. And even then, only if you really have to."

But God is not silent on sex. For instance, Song of Solomon. All about romantic love. Even sex. Seriously, some of the wording in that book would fit in romance novel of the adult variety- with an agrarian theme of course.

Outside of that, sex is prevalent in much of the Old Testament, and shock of all shocks, heroes of the Bible like David, Ruth and Boaz, and Esther engage in not exactly holy acts of sex.

Which bring us to a vital point. Even if you have engaged in sex in a manner that is not holy or acceptable to God- promiscuity, adultery, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, etc.- you are not hell-bound or totally useless to God. Jesus offers us who would judge an example on how to act, and those of us who have made mistakes hope for redemption in John 8.

A woman is caught in adultery. A death penalty sin, according to the law. Yet Jesus will not condemn her to death, and protects her from the legalistic mob drooling for her blood. As they walk away, Jesus asks her who where her accuser are. She says that they've left. Jesus says, in verse

Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

We are not to condemn, but forgive and encourage the person to move on from that life. Not because we want them to conform to our standards and rules, but because we genuinely believe God's commands, and that they are the way to better life.

There is much in the world of sex. Questions will always arise about what is acceptable to God and what isn't. If the Bible doesn't speak on it directly, then I believe it is a question you can ask only of God and your partner. If you are person who is engaged in a sexual lifestyle that is- as defined by the Bible- a sin, then I believe you and God must have a talk. My job is not to condemn you, for what I view as your sin is no greater or worse than any of my own. I am in just as much need for forgiveness as everyone else.

I'm planning a follow-up piece here in a few days, dealing not specifically with sex, but with the general idea that the Church is repressive, I'll have more to say there.

Combustible Drought

This is Texas now.

For the last year or two, we've been in a drought.  Here in Bryan/College Station, for the year to date, we are over 20 inches behind on the wet stuff.  We were about that much behind last year.  What this means is a warm breath can start a fire.

This extreme drought is paralyzing.  It is destroying crops, killing livestock, and putting ranchers in binds that point toward bankruptcy.  But until the fires, there was very little mention of it in the media outside the local stations.  Droughts just aren't as interesting Severe Weather Phenomenons as, say, a Hurricane on the east coast.  Video of large cracks in dry black dirt is nowhere near as interesting as a weatherman being pummeled by storm surge.

The fires changed that.  Now, people are talking.  Now, the drought matters.

Because the drought is a constant thought these days, I had been thinking a lot about that Psalm that talks about the deer panting for water- Psalm 42, it turns out.  I took the time to read it the other day, and it struck me how closely the drought for my state parallels those droughts we all experience spiritually.  Just look at the first four verses:

                                                                      ¹ As the deer pants for streams of water, 

                                                         so my soul pants for you, my God.                                                                                                     
                                                                       ² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.    
                                                        When can I go and meet with God?                                                                              
                                                                                   ³ My tears have been my food   
                                                    day and night, while people say to me all day long,   
                                                                     “Where is your God?”
                                                                                   ⁴ These things I remember   
                                             as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God 
                                                       under the protection of the Mighty One 
                                                                 with shouts of joy and praise 
                                                                    among the festive throng.

Texas is begging for rain, and it's not uncommon to hear folks talking wistfully about rains of the past.  Talk to someone in a spiritual drought, and it's a similar deal.  "Man, that time when God..."  or "I remember once, we were singing this song, and God showed up."  There is a mournful, longing tone to the voices that speak of these things long gone.


The thing I find interesting about Psalm 42 is that David is not feeling distant from God, yet he feels like he is in spiritual drought.  Verse 8 says, "By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life." (Emphasis mine).  But then, in verse 9:  I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”  God is with David, yet David feels like God has forgotten him.  Why this paradox?


How often have you had moments of clarity in the midst of turmoil?  Or, moments of self-pity in the midst of mountain-top elation?  God is EVER present, yet we can still feel distant.  We may be praying, reading His Word, singing His praises- yet feel dry, distant, and like it's all a lot of hard work for a moment of connection.


Like droughts, this is a natural- if unfortunate- thing.


The problem with spiritual drought is when it becomes combustible drought.  When the work we put in to connect with God becomes 'too hard,' we begin to give up.  We lose hope.  We stop reminding ourselves as David did in verse 11:  Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.


Then, the fires of temptation spark, and we are consumed.  Like the fire in the video above.  I believe, from personal experience, that a loss of hope dramatically increases the chance for sin.  Loss of hope is like the "Red Flag Warning" we get here in Texas when the drought is high and the winds are strong.  Fire danger is high.


Fortunately for us, we can stave off the spiritual fires of temptation much easier than the wildfires that have ravaged Texas.  We can't make it rain on our Terra Firma- but we can seed our spiritual clouds by listening to what David says in verse 11-Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.  It seems simple, maybe too simple, but the remedy for a loss of hope is to hope.  Stubborn, unmovable hope.  Fleeting hope is no hope at all.  No, we must hold to a hope that is made of stronger stuff than the 'wishful thinking' kind of hope most of live by.  Our hope cannot be in lesser things, but only in the God who is still there, still saving us.


Still pouring water on our combustible drought of the soul.


Let us also pray for those who are affected by the physical drought and terrible fires.  As they watch their homes be threatened or destroyed, they no doubt wonder where God is in all this- why them?  I, nor anyone else on this planet, can answer that.  Their spiritual drought is nearing the same level of combustion as the grasses and trees around their homes.  Let us intercede, let us offer them the stubborn hope we are clinging to, let us hope when they haven't the strength to do it themselves.  Let us pray to our God the Rainmaker, the Drought-Ender.  

Let us be more like David- who senses God's nearness, yet longs ever more for the cooling drink from the presence of God.

Miracle Drug

A few weeks ago, I got the flu. I believe it was the first time since I was a kid that I contracted this really annoying little bug, despite never getting a flu vaccine. Now, once I had the flu, I wanted the drugs. I needed the drugs. And nothing would keep them from me.

Tamiflu is expensive, for the record. Sure, compared to some heart meds and other triple digit dollar amount drugs, it's nothing. So, I had a brief moment of hesitation when forking over the $60 for the pills, but the chills started to kick back in. I got over it. Then the next day, both my kids were diagnosed with the influenza, and my wife was put on Tamiflu as a preventative measure. It was expensive, but this time I had no hesitation. We all needed to do what was explicitly necessary to kill this germ that wreaking havoc on our family before it got worse. We wanted the miracle drug to work.

I've been reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, with my friend Eric. In it, Chan relates the story of a college student asking a very potent and piercing question: "Why would a loving God force me to love Him?"

The truth is, I've heard this before. The truth is also that it is easy to see where this mentality comes from. I mean, if you don't love God, you die the big Death with a capital D. If you don't follow Jesus, you are separated from the Father. It's kind of totalitarian, if you'll allow me that strong term. Yeah, I see that there is a bit of forcing us to choose God coming from God Himself. The Bible is full of people that were "strongly encouraged" to choose God.

I admit: It seems rather harsh that God essentially says choose me or you can go to Hell. Literally.

But, what if it's necessary?

I didn't really want to take my flu meds. They made me kinda nauseous at first. They cost more money than I wanted to spend. But if I wanted to get over the flu quickly, there was NO OTHER WAY to go.

If we created a miracle drug that cured all ailments- from cancer to AIDS to headaches to the common cold- and you had to take it just once- would you take it? It would cost you a lot of money, but you'd not have to worry about health care ever again. You'd never need to take another pill of any kind for the rest of your life. The catch is, there is no other company or industry that will ever be able to manufacture this drug, so you have to take it from this company. You are being, in essence, forced to support this company.

For a lifetime of good health by taking one pill- it's worth it, isn't it?

Matthew 9:12 says: On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

When we realize we are sick, we will do whatever it takes to get well. Be told you have cancer, and your first thoughts upon soaking that in will be "What can we do?" Have a heart attack, and you want to know what you have to do to prevent that from happening again.

You want the drugs/treatment/surgery that makes it better.

Now, you're sick. All of us are. We WILL die from it. The question is can we be cured from eternal death and get eternal life? If there was a way to get that, and only one way to get that, would it be worth it?

Would you not, if you knew of a way to cure a loved one from cancer or AIDS or heart disease, do every thing within your power to make them pursue that course of treatment? Would you not force them?

Of course you would. Because you love them. You'd move mountains if you could to help the ones you love.

If God is 'forcing' us to love Him- and I don't see it that way- it is because He loves us. Now, the way I see it, if God has the Miracle Drug to cure us from this Death that awaits us- it's not Him forcing us to love Him. It is Him offering us the pill- the only one of its kind- that will save us. Accepting and returning the Love of God is the Miracle Drug.

And He is the only one making it.

We can still choose to reject Him, He does allow for that. I could have chosen to refuse my Tamiflu and struggled through it on my own. I probably would have made it. Thousands of patients every day choose not to take the pill or the chemo or the surgery because they have the same choice as we do. They can say 'No' to the well meaning doctor and family members pleading, pushing and yes, forcing them to take the cure.

But the truth is, you cannot reject God and live for eternity. It's not Him forcing you.

It is Him doing everything to save you.

The Dichotomy of Glory

You know how you pray for God to break you? I never knew just how much that meant your emotions and heart could be be literally torn in two different directions. This week, I have been experiencing this strange division of thought, both first hand and in the lives of friends. As I was praying about the whirlwind I found myself in, this idea of the Dichotomy of Glory rose up.

How glory can be found in two opposite things, at the same time.

How God can be lifted up by polarized events.

Life and Death
Yesterday, I went to the hospital to visit my friends (and co-Gate leaders) Wally and Crissy. They had just become proud parents of a sleepy (for the moment) baby boy named Liam. I walked into a room filled with family and friends of the new Mom and Dad, and gazed into their smiling, beaming faces as I shook hands and introduced myself. Then, in the faces of Wally and Crissy, I saw another dichotomy- a strange but familiar mixture of excitement and exhaustion. Every hospital room I've ever entered with the intent of congratulating new parents has held the same expression my friends held. After a long sleepless and uncomfortable night, a new joy was here. As much as they said they were exhausted and couldn't wait to sleep, I knew they would just as soon spend the next week gazing at this little miracle they could call their own.

I walked into my home, just a few minutes later, and saw Kristin sitting at the computer, tears in her eyes. Before I could tell here about what I had just seen, she informed me that another couple that we are friends with, Jay and Amanda, had just lost their baby. Jay and Amanda are also friends with Wally and Crissy, so the fact that two groups of people we know would experience the opposite ends of a similar event on the same day left us questioning: How could this be?

On one hand, God has been glorified by the miracle of birth and thankfulness of one family, but He has also been glorified by the tragedy of another. Over the last day, Amanda and Jay have been an amazing example of faith and trust in a sometimes incomprehensible God. They have turned to Him, they have trusted in Him. They have glorified Him.

No, it doesn't make sense. I rejoice with Wally and Crissy. But I grieve with Jay and Amanda. With both, we must trust God. I think another of our friends, Michelle, said it best: "Celebrating today with a dear friend for the birth of her son. Mourning today with a dear friend for the loss of her son. Two friends. Same God. I have no words."

It is at times like this where we don't know what to say. Often, I simply want to say, "I have nothing to offer but my prayers and my God. May they be sufficient."


Duty and Passion
I have a real job. It's purpose is to pay the bills to enable us to lead our church. It is not my passion, nor even an interest of mine. It is a gift of God and came just when we needed it. Over the last three years, I have built relationships, and I have done my duty. Occasionally I've done a real good job. I don't wake up excited to go to work, but I try to do the best I can at it. When I succeed at this and at sharing my life and love for Christ with my co-workers, God is glorified.

For the past month or so, I have been meeting with some guys. Four different guys, four different types of conversations, four very uplifting times for me. Because I see God working in their lives, I am being challenged in my faith. My vision for serving Christ through the Gate has awakened. My passion for His calling on my life has burned brighter, and more intense than it has since we first set out to begin this journey three years ago. I have desire to write, and want to do it more and more. I want to publish a book I've written. I want to meet more people. I want to work hard at making the Gate an entity that points to God by reaching those farthest from Him. My passion is awakened, this glorifies God.

I am now torn between glorifying God by doing a good job at my "real job" and glorifying God by pursuing the passion He sent me here for. The problem is that neither is happening the best they can because I am divided. Can I do both? I've been good at doing one real well to the detriment of the other, or doing both in a mediocre way. That doesn't glorify God.

Safety or Jump
So here I am. Torn. God can be glorified by life or death. God can be glorified by duty or passion. For me, the question is, can I glorify God by staying in the safe place, with my job, or do I have to take a leap of faith? I know of a lot of people who can balance the bi-vocational life, but can I?

The last time I took a leap of faith, a real jump, was when we moved to College Station to start the Gate. We left the safety of an established ministry for the uncertainty of a brand new bar church for college students. It has been the toughest thing I have ever done, but in many ways, through numerous relationships, I believe it may have brought more glory to God than anything else I have ever done.

I think about the glory I saw on display yesterday. The glory of a newborn child and the glory of a grieving family enveloped in the arms of Christ. I shared with them their glory: smiles for the new baby and tears for the one lost.

As C. S. Lewis said, "The load, or weight, or burden, of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken." God has been breaking me. He has been humbling me, showing me that I need to rely on Him. Does that mean I leave a job for the uncertainty of scrounging together funding for the church? I don't know. I share my dichotomy of glory with you so that you have the opportunity to carry the weight of my glory- from the good or the bad- just as I have had the blessing of bearing the weight of glory of Wally and Crissy and Jay and Amanda.

It has made me see Christ more clearly this late Fall day. His glory is what matters, let us seek it together whether we find in life or death, duty or passion.

Why God?

Warning: How you read the title of this post says a lot about where you might be spiritually.

If you read it with an implied comma between the two words, you are questioning something that is happening to you. If you read it without an implied comma, you are questioning God- His existence/character/relevance/etc. Both readings are really about the same thing:

Belief.

America, by and large, believes in God. In general, it is the Judeo-Christian God, if the numerous studies from groups like the Barna Institute are to be accepted. Most of these studies have somewhere in the neighborhood of 85% of Americans calling themselves Christians. It is almost as though we just accept that God is real because it is a part of our cultural identity. We are American therefore we are Christian, therefore we believe in God. If asked why we believe in God, we give an answer that belies this belief- "I was raised to believe in God."

This is not a response that is invalid- but it is a response that lacks maturity of belief. I would argue that most of these people who say they believe in God believe it in much the same way they were raised to believe in Santa Claus. The only difference is that at some point it becomes culturally unacceptable to believe in Santa. If there were more social repurcussions for believing in God, I bet fewer people would claim Him.

Why?

I believe it is because we fail to ask "Why(,) God?" I would bet that many of the 15% who do not call themselves Christian have asked this question, and thier answer was one in which God was not needed- or at least the Judeo-Christian God was not needed. Maybe we fear asking "Why God?" because we fear the answer is that God is like Santa Claus, and we remember the pain of that truth coming home to our heart. To learn that God is not real would be too much for us, and rather than ask hard questions, we choose to remain blissfully ignorant. Or maybe we never question "Why God?" because we are supposed to have faith and trust God. Even Jesus said, "Don't put God to the test." (Luke 4:12)

My answer to this: God can take it.

I believe God is real- He is no Santa Claus. And I believe we need to test our faith, we must determine if WE believe God is real. Faith is not always about blind submission (though there are times when we need to just take a leap of faith). We need not test God like Satan was tempting Jesus to do- "God, if you're real, do something for my benefit and my glory." But we do need to test our belief.

We do this by experience. We seek answers- from friends, family, science, religion, scripture- most importantly we need to seek answers from what we encounter. I believe God is real because of what I see of Him in nature and in the lives of those around me. I believe in God because of what I have read about Him. I believe in God because of those times when I have experienced something that has no other explanation but God.

I believe in God because of the answers I've gotten when I asked, "Why, God?"

When my father died, I asked "Why,God?" and was answered with His comfort. When the ministry has seemed fruitless, I've asked "Why, God?" and been answered with a lesson in patience. When attacked, I've asked "Why, God?" and been answered with deliverance by various means. When good has come, I've asked "Why, God?" and been answered with peace.

I've asked "Why God?" and I've asked "Why, God?" I haven't always liked the answer, or the timing of the answer, but each one has served to deepen and mature my belief. I have feared asking the question, but to be honest with myself and with God, I must ask it. We all must ask it.

So when you ask me, "Why God?" I will respond that I choose to believe in God because I have experienced Him. I have encountered Him. And following those answers in my life there has come validation from others, from Scripture, and from doctrine.

But first and foremost, I believe in God because He has believed in me enough to reveal Himself.

And He believes in you.