Slow Waker

I've noticed I take a long time to wake up.

In High School, I'd roll out of bed, sit on the couch, then lay on the couch, take a bit of breakfast, doze, repeat for a while, then slowly get ready. The process lasted about an hour.

Now that I'm an adult, it's much the same. Except, no breakfast and I hit the snooze for an hour, then turn on the TV and watch the morning news for a bit before getting ready.

I've also noticed there is a spiritual parallel with me.

The alarm goes off- warning me of a behavior or thought pattern that is not so healthy- and I acknowledge it, hit the snooze and go back to what I was doing. It's only when I finally catch a glimpse of just how bad - or how good the opportunity is, it goes both ways- that I finally begin to wake up. It's like when you see the clock and realize you've hit the snooze seven times, not five.

In my life, I have seasons of real spiritual growth, like most of us do. It is unfettered, unhindered and it is awesome. But there comes an end to that, for a myriad of reasons. Then enters the spiritual drought- the sleep- that in some ways serves to give rest from dogged pursuit of God's work. The sleep is not always a bad thing, if it is more of sabbatical and less of a hedonistic (in a bad way) vacation. Either way, you will need to wake up. God will call you to something or away from something as your alarm.

And if you are like me in my sleep and spiritual patterns, you will hit the snooze. And you will miss it.

There are practical ways to wake up fast from actual slumber- caffeine, cold stone floors, cold showers, true love's kiss. So, is there a practical way to wake from spiritual slumber?

I think there are several, but I have a 50-50 success rate at making/letting any of them work. So take me as I am.

1. Caffeine- If God is calling you to something, the best thing to jump headlong into it. Like good caffeine can jolt you awake, doing what God called you to do, made you to do- it can brighten you right up. Start drinking in the stuff God is giving you. Read the Bible passages that pertain to your perceived calling and pray for opportunities and guidance. Look for inspiration and ideas and opportunities everywhere. And go. Do it. The downside is that sometimes it is not easy to do- sometimes they are out of coffee. You have to jump through hoops to get to the calling, or you have to suffer through day jobs and struggles- wait for the pot of coffee to brew. This will require patience and diligence to not fall back asleep. But it will be worth it.

2. Cold Stone Floors- There is something about swinging your feet out of a warm, cozy bed and touching ice cold floors to tell you to watch your step. There are other variations of the 'cold stone floor,' generally involving something the pet did over night, or storms. They all serve the same purpose: a warning to wake up and watch out. Your path is dangerous. You should heed it- and if it's the pet accident variety, clean it up.

3. Cold Showers- If the cold floors didn't do it, then the shower will. Suddenly you wake to see your sin. It is stark, naked and right there. You cannot deny it and the damage the sinful sleep you've been in has done to you and others. You are motivated to get clean and do it fast- cold showers are unpleasant, but effective. But you must channel this repentant spirit into something (caffeine) or the remembrance of the unpleasant waking will fade and you will only remember the blissful ignorance of sleep.

4. True Love's Kiss- Sometimes all it takes to wake us from slumber is a gentle kiss from the one we love. It's the best way to wake up. When God offers you a gift, or a blessing, or a kindness, you open your eyes to see His love and grace staring at you. You are drawn out of the sleep and into His arms and worship is sprung forth. While the other methods require you to act, this one is the best because it is all about you just reacting to God. It's about His goodness and His grace.

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

Isaiah 60:1

Wayward Faith

When I go hiking, it's always a truly terrifying event.

Not for me, (I'm having the time of my life) but for those with me.  Especially if my wife is there.  The reason my hiking habits raise anxiety levels is two-fold:  1) I'm quick and sure footed.  2) I have an aversion to well established trails.

The first means that I move faster- often a lot faster- than those with me.  When I slow down, it wears me out.  So, I keep the steps up as well as the heart rate.  In my view, if you're not hiking briskly and bouncing from rock to rock, you're just walking.

But the second, well, that means that I like to find the more difficult paths.  Rather, I like to find the non-existent path and "break it in."  This translates into me running out to the edge of jutting rocks and finding the most straight up/shale covered slopes to explore.  I don' like to follow any pattern, I just send my feet toward the sight that seems most challenging.  There is a sense of accomplishment I get when I do this- that I'm breaking new ground, and that I'm being just a little bit dangerous.

This is a common theme lately.  I have come to feel that we, as a society, are far too safe.  I grew up with no bike helmets or pads, no seat belt laws in the backseat, and no padding or netting on trampolines.  There was an element of danger to childhood that made it exciting.  Something about those things made we want to get out and do things, to try things.  Now, if you eschew the safety rules, then you are considered, at best, a bit wayward.

I like the word wayward.  We should use it more.  But I also feel we should tweak the way we use it a bit.  For reference, here is the definition from Merriam-Webster:
1: following one's own capricious, wanton, or depraved inclinations : ungovernable


2: following no clear principle or law : unpredictable

3: opposite to what is desired or expected : untoward
 
See, to be wayward is negative.  And if you are following 'depraved inclinations,' then yeah, that's bad.  But sometimes, we need to be a little bit more of the 3rd definition.  "Opposite of what is desired or expected."  Especially if what is desired or expected is in conflict with God.
 
Enter faith.  To me, in the world today, there is nothing more wayward to the world's culture than to live by faith.  Heck, if we're really honest, there is nothing more wayward to much of church culture than to live by faith.  Sure, we believe in God, and we pray to Him, and maybe read the Bible a bit and go to church- that means we're living by faith, right?
 
 The truth is, we are living more by established doctrines and traditions that by faith.  For  instance, if God asked you to drop everything today and move to the Middle East to share Christ, would you even consider it, or would you brush it aside as crazy? 
 
Okay, fair enough, that's too big.  What if God asked you today to openly share your faith with an atheist co-worker- or boss?  What if God asked you to not look the other way when the panhandler walks up to your car at the stop light?  What if God asked you to give more (or some) money to the church, even though finances are tight?
 
We are ruled by logic, by doing what makes sense.  If we can't explain something completely, we can't put our faith in it.  It almost seems like we won't really commit to God unless we can know Him completely and without a doubt.  We need cold hard facts.
 
We need helmets and seatbelts and nets and pads and clearly marked trails, or we won't do it.
 
And that is why faith is wayward.  It is rebellious, it is crazy.  2 Corinthians 5:13 says as much:  "If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you."

God doesn't make sense.  To paraphrase Donald Miller from Blue Like Jazz- He doesn't resolve, he doesn't line up with established rhythms.  God is wayward to our expectations and facts and science.

When Jesus walked on water, it scared the disciples. (Duh.)  But then he asked Peter to come out on the water as well.  No scientific laws said that water would hold him, no facts or prior experience could lead him to any other conclusion than "I'm gonna sink.  Fast."  But his faith wasn't in the water, or science, or facts.  It was in Jesus.  So, he stepped out of his safe boat, and walked on water. 

Peter, like Jesus, was wayward.

When we have faith- real, living, vibrant faith- we will not fit in with people who don't believe in God.  Or Christians who want a God they can control and wrap their minds around.  You will walk with Him like I hike- faster and sure footed, and going off the beaten path.  You will seem to those who cling to the safety helmets they call "what we've always done" a bit nutty, dangerous, or even naive.  But you- you will call yourself something different.  You will recognize that those others would use this label as a negative, you claim it as a badge of honor.  Because it makes you more like your Father.

You will call yourself "Wayward."

Listen(Trust)Do

Leslie looked at me and I could tell she was so not going to do what I was telling her.  She understood it, but there was some sort of disconnect between her listening and doing.

Kristin and I had decided that this summer we would work on teaching the kids to swim.  We bought season passes to the pool, new suits for the girls, and stocked up on sunscreen.  Pretty quickly, it was clear that Kenna, the four year old, was content to just hang at the pool, occasionally throwing us a bone by grabbing the sides of the pool and kicking.  But toss her a pool noodle and the "Uh-No" face came up.  So, patience there.  But Leslie, the six year old, she was ready.  Last summer she had mastered swimming with the noodle (we don't do floaties), so this was definitely the time.  We were making some progress on treading water, and so we moved to learning to float on the back.  This is where things went south.  Leslie would lay on the water, flat- and stiff- as aboard.  She would not lay her head back in the water for some reason, even though she had already gone completely under the water for more than 5 seconds repeatedly.  I instructed her to relax and stop being stiff or she'd sink.  She'd do that, but the second she felt my hand leave her back- stiff, then sink, then flail.  I know she was listening, because she would attempt to do what I said.  But when the time came to go into actual action- glub, glub,glub.

I, of course, grew frustrated.  It's what I do when things don't go the way I expect or hope.  Leslie got upset.  The lesson sunk fast.  

Later that weekend, preparing for our church's message on listening and doing from James 1, I replayed the scene.  Here's Leslie, listening.  Here's Leslie not doing.  Oh, how that so paralleled:  Here's Chad listening.  Here's Chad not doing.  So often, I read the scriptures, or feel an urge from God, or hear a song or message that is clearly God speaking to me.  I listen, get excited, then do...nothing.  

James 1:22-25:
 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.  

Why do we- and lets face it, we all do this- just listen and not do?  Why do churches pack'em in by the thousands, but never affect real change?  Why do we read thousands of pages of books- the Bible included- and never apply what we learn?  Why do we choose to sink, when we could be swimming?

We fear other things too much and don't trust Him enough.

I saw this in Leslie when she wouldn't do what I said in the pool.  I believe my daughter trusts me, completely.  But even her depth of trust in me was outweighed by other factors like the water that would go in her ears, not being sure of what floating really is all about, and honestly, probably the fear of "What if THIS is the time my Dad lets me down?"

God asks us to do things all time.  We feel that nudge to go talk to someone, or stop and pray or read something specific.  These are basic, easy, relatively low risk things.  Like me asking Leslie or Kenna to let me carry them on my shoulders, or let me meet one of their friends.  Daily things.  But God asks us to something new, something we view as unfamiliar or even a little dangerous.  If He hasn't, He will.  There is a natural, normal, pause we give to that.  We weigh the cost of it, as the Bible tells us (Luke 14:25-34).  But we only proceed if our trust in God outweighs our fear of the other factors.  And honestly, I think even if we have trusted God with the big stuff before, there is a nagging question of, "What if THIS is the time my Father lets me down?"

The truth is, for us to practice Listening and Doing- Trusting has to be a part of the equation.  Because ultimately, our own understanding is what can keep us from doing what we've listened to.  God's response to that:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart 
   and lean not on your own understanding; 
 in all your ways submit to him, 
   and he will make your paths straight

                                           -Proverbs 3:5-6

Listen to Him.  Trust Him.  Do as He says.

PS- Kristin took over with Leslie after the failure of my teaching.  For some reason, floating on her belly was easier to take than her back.  So she'd float for a bit like that.  Then I tried something- I told her to kick and move her arms like we'd worked on.  She trusted me- because her trust was greater than her fear of the unknown- and took off swimming!

But I'm not giving up on her learning to float on her back.