From the outside looking in, you can't understand it; From the inside looking out, you can't explain it.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
How He Loves ( David Crowder Version)

I'm starting to take at least one day a week to listen to worship music on the drive to work. Normally, I try to pray, but I often fall into the rut of just talking to God and not listening. There is nothing wrong with sharing our heart with God, asking Him, thanking Him, sharing our problems. But like any relationship, we need it to not be one sided.

Lately, How He Loves by The David Crowder*Band has been the song that speaks to me. Really, since it came out it has profoundly affected me. When John Mark McMillan wrote it, it was written about a man who stated if he could, by dying, shake the youth of the world for Christ, so be it. And that day he was killed in car accident. Its a song about the unseen world of God touching ours. No, make that invading ours.

The excerpt I posted above is no doubt my favorite part. It speaks the answer to the question of "Why do I believe in God?" That answer is simple- I believe because I have been caught up in Him. I have been hypnotized by Christ through His grace and His love. He has blessed me unexpectedly ( the unforeseen/sloppy wet kiss line). He has caused me to be in conflict with myself, my heart does turn violently inside my chest each time I come to a decision point of choosing my way or God's.

The funny thing about these experiences of God that I've had is that they are not verifiable, at least, not scientifically so. I did not come to believe in grace because someone showed me a diagram of how it works- I believe it because I have relief when I confess my sins and because I have seen grace shown from a follower of Christ to another human being. Regardless of the differences between them. I do not believe in God's love because He sent me roses, I believe because I have known a comfort that comes as if from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I do not believe in God's power because I can look at an inventory of His armory, but because I have seen examples of His power demonstrated in storms and fires and mountains and oceans- and in the power of His people that are able to endure.

Here at A&M there is a saying, "From the outside looking in, you can't understand it; From the inside looking out, you can't explain it." It may sound dismissive, but I think that believing in God can be the same. God doesn't make sense, He doesn't translate well to a person who doesn't know faith in Him. This is not an excuse for us to be elitist or uppity about us having a 'special knowledge.' In fact, there is no special knowledge at all, just a different relationship gained by engaging God. That is really what the Aggie quote is all about. If you want to understand the Aggie Spirit, you have to experience it by engaging it. No amount of explanation or charts or logic will truly make it clear to you. You have to be immersed in it.

If you want to understand God, you have to let the grace in His eyes draw you to redemption. You have to allow your defenses to drop, to let your guard down, to be caught up in Him. Sink in the ocean of grace to understand that He loves you so much that nothing you've done or could ever do is too much for Him to wash away. You will be so lost in the abundance of God, that any regrets you have held onto- for past mistakes or indulgences, or for failures- could not be held onto.

If you want to get to know another person, looking up their vital stats, their facts and figures won't help you. (Unless its for fantasy football, then, maybe.) Sitting down with them, allowing their conversation to wash over you, learning the way they talk, the little quirks of their personality, this is how you know them.

So when I sit in the car, letting the words of the song wash over me, letting the voice of God speak to me as He would like, then I come to know Him, and why I believe in Him.