Who We Are Instead

I've been thinking a lot about defining an individual and corporate identity of late. It kind of arose because of a helpful critique given that our church lacked an identity. Or rather that we had mis-defined ourselves. That we seemed to assume that since we wanted to do some things, those things represented us even though we didn't actually do them. In a sense, we were pretending to be someone we were not.

I had to really stop and think about this, because, honestly, I had been blind to it. I had known of churches that definitely viewed themselves as progressive, but were anything but. I knew people who thought themselves great leaders, but had no followers, people who thought themselves open-minded that never met an idea they didn't hate, if it came from someone else. I didn't like these people and things, because I thought them disingenuous. Now, I was becoming one of them.

I began to think about how we are defined, by ourselves and by others. And it kind of hit me like a lightning bolt this morning: Both how others view us,and how we think of ourselves are right...and simultaneously wrong. Let me explain...

It's What You Do That Defines You

This is the way everyone else sees you. Your actions. People know me to be a bit arrogant, because I occasionally act that way. If I open the door for someone, they define me as well-mannered and kind. If I cut you off in traffic, I am a name-not-to-be-mentioned-here. If you like my writing, I'm defined as a good writer, if you don't that's your problem (And there is that arrogance thing, again.):)

If a picture is worth a thousand words, an action is worth a million. Others can't see our heart, or our thoughts, so they go on what they can see. Sure, we know "Don't judge a book by its cover," but the cover is all most people will ever see of us.

I know what you're thinking- "I don't care what other people think, especially if they don't know me." Fair enough, the people who do know you definitely know you better, and actually get to crack open that cover to read the book. But let's say you're in a new setting, you've just moved to a new city, church, or job. Your old friends who saw through your harsh demeanor aren't there. The new people in your life have not yet seen the need to endure the learning process that is you, and you aren't making it any more enticing to crack open the book. You may not care what people think about you, but have you lost friends, or jobs, or promotions because of your actions?

And in a church setting, when new people visit your church, what are you actions teaching them about your story? Are you open, friendly, inviting, and challenging- or are you filled with inside jokes, comfort for the initiated, and a wary eye toward new folks? Worse yet, are you being real with the new people or the more often used overly-excited to see someone, that comes across as phony to them?

I think, Therefore I Am

Truth is, what we do is only half the story of who we are. The kindest, most gentle guy in the world may harbor a deep seated anger no one knows about. On the flip side, the scary old man may be the sweetest guy in town, if you can get past his intimidating glare and creepy house.

Ever taken a personality test? Do you realize they are really asking who YOU think you are? With questions like, "Do you think you are more...?" and "What kind of....do you like to do?" they are asking what your impression of you is. And even if your outward life shows no evidence of this, there is some truth to your view of you. Don't believe me? Ask Paul.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:7-14

Paul talks about all these things he thinks he is, then promptly says, but I haven't attained them yet. But he defines himself as who he is becoming.

There are people who think they are nice, but they have never been, nor had any desire to, be nice to anyone. No matter how much they think they are nice- they are not. But the person who was a jerk, and begins to change, MUST view himself as a nice person as he seeks to do nice acts.

Paul killed Christians, not too relatively long before saying this. For many people, Paul's prior acts totally violated the identity he held of himself. But Paul was working towards something, he was changing, and he had to let go of what he had been.

As long as I, in some way, think of myself as arrogant, I am allowing a part of my arrogance to continue to live on. I need to change my view of myself to being a humble person, because you are what you think. If I view myself as humble, I'll begin to stop the words, "I'm Awesome!" from leaving my lips for more often than if, deep down, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I really am."

The key here is that we need to be striving toward the person we want to be. As individuals and as corporate beings. See, our church says we want to be church for those who do not feel comfortable in church. Right now, in many ways, we still look like regular church, using church words and church ideologies. But as we desire to move toward that new identity, we MUST believe we are that church. It will cause us to ask deeper questions about why we do what we do. If we want to be a missions church, we need to call ourselves one even if we are not currently looking like one- Not that we have already obtained this, but we are pressing on toward it.

Our identity does begin inside of us, and eventually it does show in our actions. That's key, by the way- that our thoughts of who we want to be must be actively engaged in becoming reality- or it is really deluding yourself. None of us are completely where we want to be yet, and neither was Paul. However, he claimed as his identity one who had left it all for Christ, one who was consumed with a desire to know Him.

And how do we know Paul today?

So, the issue is that our identity is complex. It is a mix of who we think we are and who others perceive us as. Ideally, they overlap, but this is not a thing that happens in an instant. We are growing and evolving in our faith and identity every day, and our thoughts and actions are affected by these often micro shifts.

No matter where we are, we must echo Paul's call to "press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."