Haunted

Pardon me while I endulge in a bit of Lost. I promise, there is a point to this (My speaking of Lost- not sure if there is a point to Lost the show).

This last season has what is called a sideways world, an alternate reality of sorts, where the characters we've known for five seasons are the same- yet not. This Sideways world seems to be devoid of the mystical aspects of the Island world we have followed, in other words, its like our world. This world's story runs parrallel to the story we have been following, but the characters are not aware the other world exists.

That's not totally true. They don't know for sure what it is, but things keep tugging at their minds, memories and small inconsistencies that shake up their mostly content existence. To these Sideways characters, it is as if there is a force, or thing out there that they know is there, but don't know why they feel this and can in no way prove it's existence. They can't see it, taste it, touch, it, feel it or smell it- but in some weird way, they can almost perceive it.

They are haunted.

Slowly, some of them in the Sideways world are realizing the existence of the other world, and those half-memories become whole. They have begun to feel that this Sideways world is in fact not the real world- no, the real world is the mystical one with time travelling islands, smoke monsters, and mysterious supernatural entities.

Sound familiar? Except the time travel part, of course.

Haunted is a good way to describe me lately. I feel that there is something out there, something trying to get my attention, trying to tell me that there is more than what I am presently perceiving. I have had moments in my life when the ordinary days of this world are interrupted by glimpses and experiences of this mysterious other world. I remember a worship service about six years ago where the air in the room seemed to go out- an eeriness settled in- almost an oppression. Everyone felt it- nearly ninety people. The only other time I had felt this was when I visited Buchenwald- a concentration camp in Germany. I am still haunted by those days.

I am also haunted by a feeling that something even more powerful is working for the good. Kristin lost her wedding ring and Aggie ring and watch about three and a half months ago. Last week, at our small group, I pulled them out of a couch we had searched dozens of times. The people there that night described it as a miracle. I am haunted by the memory of a mountain top when I was sixteen- standing in the gusty winds at 13,000 feet, and feeling God. I am haunted by the memory of the day that God called me plant a church- the clarity in that moment of what I would do and why.

I sit today-though the feeling is not as strong as it was yesterday- I am haunted. I am haunted by the notion that there is a God and He is looking for me. I am haunted that I have some role to play in His grand plan. I am haunted by moments that have come before and will come again in which the hazy veil between this ordinary world and the very REAL world in which my God lives will be lifted. Then, the shadows will race away and I will again see clearly. What I will see will be indescribable, yet familiar. It will be terrible in its beauty, it will be powerful in its subtlety.

Like my Sideways Losties, I long for an awakening- for an adventure, for the more to this life that seems to be missing. To haunted by the ever-present but unseen God is an inescapable condition. Its only remedy is the return of Jesus.

When He comes back to reconcile- to make it all right.