It Sucks to Be a Grownup

When I was a kid, I thought it would be cool to be a grownup. You could drive. You have money to spend on what you want. You could stay up late. You could eat what you wanted. You had no one telling you what to do. Adult life was awesome and I couldn't wait to get there.

Now, I miss childhood. I am not free, not like I thought I would be anyway. I have bills to pay, physical health to watch out for, a car to take care of, never enough money to do ANYTHING I want. Plus, family responsibilities like raising kids and loving my wife- good things, no doubt, but things one doesn't think of when one is ten.

Truth be told, I miss the magic of youth. The wonder of things. Remember the first time you got to drive- the exhilaration? Remember running into the rain to play, instead of trying to get out of it? Remember being able to run and not nearly pass out from lack of oxygen?

We would turn on the TV to catch our favorite cartoon. Now, we try to catch the weather ( so we don't have to run in the rain), or we watch the news to see what makes us angry today. And if we read, we read for the love of it, not because Oprah told us to.

I guess we lost the magic somewhere. We stopped loving life, and just started enduring it. We lost the hope and the expectation and the wonder of what was to come because it got here and we were unimpressed. And we grew cynical.

We lost our innocense.

I recently saw a kid, in the middle of the county clerks office, pull out his toys and begin to play. His imagination opened up and poured forth, surrounded by books and computers and blank faced adults like me. He played and didn't care who was watching. He was enjoying his life, no matter where it presently had him.

I've thought a lot about that scene these last few weeks. I don't think our innocense is too far gone that it can't be rescued. I think we can still 'pull out our toys' in the midst of a grown-up world and enjoy ourselves. We just need to find the things that bring us joy, and make time for them. We need to remember the wonder that is still our there to be experienced.

We need to dream of better things again.