Fear

Not too long ago, I was going into the hall closet to get the vacuum out. I opened the door, and as I looked where the vacuum was usually, I instead saw a small shape move very quickly toward me and squeak. No, not a mouse, Kenna. I jumped, and yelled myself, as I was not expecting anything to jump at me and Kenna, Leslie, and Kristin all got a good laugh out of it.

I enjoy spooking people, but I do not like it when fear sets in and takes a longer time to be shrugged off. I have found that fear really causes damage to me, especially in the area of faith. Fear about finances, health, conditions in the world at large all seem to settle in and eat away at my faith that God is big enough to handle it. Fear leads me to distrust God's goodness, or maybe just doubt that God's intentions towards me are less than good. What if I am to tested like Job, or 'left hanging' like John the Baptist? They did the right thing, and they suffered for it. The issue, I think, is that I am fearing circumstances more than the God who holds their reins.

Jesus told a man who was fearful of a terrible outcome, "Do not be afraid, just believe." More than just believe God is in control, but believe God. Believe He is good, just, righteous. Believe He is- period.

Because if God is real, and true, and good, and righteous, and just- He knows better than I what I can and should endure.