Worship is like Gravity.

A meteorite tumbles aimlessly through space. It is not buoyed by any winds, but it may bounce off of some of its counterparts, thus changing its direction. It tumbles with no plan, no target, no goal. Then, one day, there is a tug. A pull. The meteorite, if it were capable of having thoughts, might think a subtle shift had occured, as if it was being drawn toward something. If it could see, it would see a large mass, maybe a star or a planet or a moon. This is what draws it in. It had approached this behemoth mass and been caught, weakly at first but with increasing strength, in the gravity of the celestial body. If the force is strong enough, this little meteorite will tumble into the bigger mass and be destroyed, consumed by the object it was drawn to.

This is worship.

We are a meteorite, tumbling through life without aim or goal, until we encounter a mass large enough to have its own gravity. This mass may be a person, an object, an idea, a job, even a deity. Whatever it is, it pulls us in. We become caught up in it, and if we allow ourselves, we will be consumed by it.

We are creatures of worship. Watch teenage guys as a pretty girl walks by. Watch a group of people when a sleek Ferrari blurs past them. Notice how people migrant to mountains and beaches just to soak them up. These are all forms of worship. Giving attention, even devotion to. These people or things draw us into their gravity, sometimes for a moment, sometimes for a lifetime. Think about when you first fell in love: it was as if you were not in control, as if you were falling into that person and you couldn't (or didn't want) to stop.

We worship our favorite teams when we adorn ourselves in their colors and chant for them to win. We give money to buy their liscensed gear so we can feel a part of them. We defend them and fight for their honor. We give a great deal of our time to watching them do their thing.

We worship our future when we allow ourselves to be consumed in the pursuit of our dreams. We spend our waking hours studying, thinking, planning, working to secure this vision. We lose closeness with friends and family- just for the time being, we tell ourselves- so we can achieve... something.

We worship celebrity when we spend thousands to buy their stuff. We wait anxiously for the latest gossip about Lindsey, Paris or Kanye. We dress like them, talk like them, and as much as possible on our limited budgets, we live like them.

All of these things are forms of worship. We want something to give ourselves to, to lose ourselves in. We want to be a part of something bigger than just us. That 'Bigger' can be a person, an vision, a group...or it can be an ideal.

Ideals are dangerous things to worship. Be they political, religious, or anything else, these are things that can give us power, and once we have tasted power, it is power we worship. Look at leaders who had great ideals, leaders who have fallen. Pastors in affairs, Politicians in corruption, Business People in scandals. They got power and they worshipped it, they worshiped themselves. They became the biggest mass around, they were the thing that had gravity. People were drawn to them, people wanted to be with them and near them and like them. The became little gods in little worlds.

But there is always something bigger.

Many of us are the center of our universe, the center of gravity for our world. Then one day, we feel a tug, a pull a subtle shift in direction. We have come into a new gravity, a new Alpha Mass is around. God enters our lives, and we feel His pull. We can struggle and fight, or we can let Him draw us near. We can choose to approach God- and in doing so, the other gravities in our life lose their hold. They aren't as all consuming or as important as we thought. Our celebrity worship loses its hold, followed by our worship of our future, and our worship of stuff and of people. The last to go is our pride, our worship of self.

As we crash into God, as we are destroyed- our old life flaming out due to the friction of drawing so close to God- we become part of His body. We no longer live, it is Christ in us. We lose ourselves completely in Him. We realize He is what matters, He is our Alpha Mass, our Sun. He is the center of our universe.

This is worship.

Approaching

Somewhere, sometime, worship became about us.

It became something we scheduled into our week, an hour on Sunday and maybe another day. It became a commodity, a product marketed and bought up by the thousands in record shops and on Itunes. It became a battle, of old versus new, of organ versus drums, of ideologies and approaches.

We left our family of believers because we weren't feeling worshipful, and we blamed others, or the style or the type of music. And reall, worship has become for most people, all about the music- all about MY kind of music.

Don't get me wrong, music is a vital component of worship, but it is not the whole. And worship must never be about us. Worship has to be about God.

So it is that I came to view worship in regards to direction. For too long, worship for me was about withdrawal. I moved away from things, from sin, from people, from surroundings. When I worshipped, I would focus more on drawing into myself than everything else- shutting out the world. Again, this is not an evil or sinful approach to worship- its actually a good one. We need to get away from things, from distractions, but the attitude I found in 'withdrawal worship' was that I needed to get secluded so I could worship. It was easy to make the time about me, rather than about God. And in so doing, I had made worship about me.

So, then, if that had led to a type of worship that took a negative direction, a withdrawal, then the opposite attitude would be to approach something. To approach God, the object of worship.

Rather than focusing on the practices of 'getting away from it all' I would focus on looking for God, seeking Him. I would approach God, and allow Him to remove the distractions, I would be caught up more in Him than in trying to control my actions. The more I attempt to approach God, the more often I find myself worshipping. Not just with music, or in church, but throughout my day. Worship is prayer, worship is doing the best I can at a task, worship is loving my family, worship is watching the sunset, worship is listening to friend's struggles.

Worship is life.

Thats why Romans 12:1 calls us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices. We are to offer our lives, our total existence, to God. To approach Him with this, our gift, our life.

I beleive our 'worship' in church is often less because we have failed to approach God with our lives. We've thrown Him a bone here and there, but we have not drawn near to Him. This attitude of withdrawal into what 'our needs' are has kept us from approaching Him. Worship does not occur on our terms, it occurs when we are caught in the gravitational pull of the much larger mass of God, and we drawn in, consumed in Him.

So let us approach Him with freedom and confidence, and let us worship.

An Open Apology to Those I Evangelised

If you attended Texas A&M University from 1998 until 2002, and you were ever approached by a skinny guy with dark hair saying he was taking a 'mock survey' and wanted to ask you some questions, I have something to say to you.

I'm sorry.

There was no survey. I had no idea how to share my faith with you, and I was really just trying to get you to change your mind about your beliefs. My heart was in the right place, but my motivations were more about me and less about really caring for you. To be fair, I didn't know you, and so it would have been darn near miraculous for me to muster any personal concern for you other than for your eternal soul. That's a really important thing, mind you, but there is more to you than which God (or lack thereof) you allied yourself with.

I really didn't know that the key to sharing the story of what God was doing with this world was that I first learn your story. I really should been more concerned with understanding your struggles, your needs, the things that you enjoy than I was about getting to talk to 3 people in an hour about Jesus.

See, I just didn't really have time for you in my life. At least not for anything that would have required more than twenty minutes or so. I mean, I had meetings with the ministry I was with to attend, I had Bibles to study, I had songs to sing. Real friends to be with. You were a project, maybe really just an experiment. Had you really wanted to know Jesus, I'm not sure what I would have done with you. I probably would have acted all excited, and genuinely been somewhat excited because when anyone meets Jesus it's awesome, but that excitement would have faded when you and I both realized that being rescued by Jesus means more than just praying a prayer or answering some questions in a theology quiz (or mock survey- really, really sorry about that).

See, you deserved someone that would genuinely want to befriend you for who you are- all your good, bad, and ugly. ( Or pretty, whichever you may have been. But if you were a pretty girl, I might have asked you out- but that's another Open Apology Letter in and of itself.) You deserved someone who would give of themselves to you. Someone who would truly pray for you for more than a day after meeting you. Someone who wouldn't dodge you if they saw you coming because they might have to engage you, and they didn't have a script ready. You deserved someone who wouldn't try to make you fit into their view of what a Christ Follower was. You deserve someone who was less of an elitist.

I've come to see the error of my ways. In part because I've learned to try to see you as God sees you, not as a project, but as a living, feeling person with faults and potential and desires and fears and hopes and dreams all rolled into one. I've also come to see how we Christians can be. We are very self-centered, egotistic and, yeah, elitist. We think that just because Jesus says He is the way to God and no one comes to the Father except through Him that we ourselves are better than others. Jesus is all He says He is, but we are also all He says we are. We are sick, broken, arrogant, filled with lies and false motives. We are weak and cowardly, and we cater to the Big Man On Campus of the churches and organizations around us. We seek more to please them more than Jesus. We play by man-made rules rather than God's.

If I had to do it over again, I would not invite you to join our little club, for that is often how we have viewed church. No, that is a far lesser thing to belong to. I would instead invite you to be my friend, and seek to understand you better. As we grew closer, I would hope that you see something different in me, that maybe I'm a little kinder, a little more hopeful, a little more confident- but not in myself. And I would try to see something different in you- maybe that you are artistic, or very intelligent, maybe even very compassionate- because God sees something different in you. When you asked, or when I had earned your trust, then I might share with you about God and all the amazing things He is and does. I wouldn't be sharing because I had to, I would be sharing because I cared about YOU.

So, let's start over shall we?

My name is Chad, and I want to get to know you.

What is Going?

Saturday marked the 9th anniversary of September 11. To me, one of the most heartbreaking and at the same time, inspiring, images is that of the firefighters and police running into the smoke. Against the rushing crowds, caked in ash and tears, they pressed on. They were going to great danger, probable death, and they no doubt were constantly pressing down a wave of fear.

But they were going to where and to who needed them.

As followers of Christ, we are the first responders. We must go whereever and to whomever needs us. We must be willing to rush into the smoke and the shellshocked masses, because we carry rescue.

Somewhere in our history, it became different, though. We began to expect people to come to us, as though we were gurus that must be sought out for our depth of understanding. And we made ourselves just as secluded as that stereotypical guru on a mountain, using our own special language and creating our own exclusive culture. When Christianity became a status symbol for the rich and the powerful and the political to use, we had stopped moving. We stopped going.

Our going out to the world became a system, a project, if you will. We set up times at our convenience to knock on doors or make phonecalls. Even our going out was on our terms. We developed scripts and even more special language to make us sound appealing- we were more salesmen than ambassodors of Christ.

And the world took notice. They realized we seemed more interested in checking their name off a list than actually getting to know them. They saw that we were too busy to really spend time with them. They stopped giving us their attention.

In the last decade, a slow turn has begun. Many believers are waking up to realize they had forsaken the heart of the Great Commission of Matthew 28:19-20, "19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." That heart being that we should go and invest (make disciples)in people. So, here are a few challenges I issue to you to be more adept at going to people in the name of Christ:

Listen
Don't just talk to them, listen to them. Hear thier story, their struggles. This is not a 'nod and smile' kind of listen, this is an active listen. Think about what they have said, pray about what they have said, and then, come back for more.

Connect
If you've listened, you've learned some of their interests. Try to learn more about them. Build a stronger bond by showing you actually care about what they care about. But don't be disengenuous- be real. Most of the time, you won't fall as in love with their interest as they are. But, showing that you're willing to give it a try goes a long way.

Be Available
Christians tend to be the most unavailable people I know. It takes weeks to set up a time to sit down with them. And don't get me started on communication with leaders of churches. I don't know if this is just because I am already 'with them' or what, but if we are this hard to nail down for those not following Christ, they'll never come to depend on us. Rather than try to make people fit into your schedule, try to fit your schedule around them. Return their correspondence quickly and clearly. It shows them they actually matter to you.

Stand
You're probably thinking, "He hasn't said anything about sharing Christ yet." Yep, that's no oversight. I believe that we have to earn their respect in order to share Christ. They feel that Christians are just out to make them a notch on their Bible for 'saved souls,' so we need to prove to them that we actually care. But until that time comes, we still need to stand for something. There may be some lines that come up that you just can't cross. Respectfully and kindly say so, and continue to do the other stuff.

I've read a lot of articles recently that say that we need to not jsut set out to befriend people so we can share Christ with them. And if they reject Christ, we need not reject them.

I totally agree, and think it's an area I myself need to work on.

How to Build a Church, or a Fence, Depending on How You Take This

Technically, that stuff is a gate.

Most of the components are there: screws, wood...no hinges, but the core stuff of a gate is there. Now, you may argue that it is not a gate until it is on its hinges and doing its job. You would be right, that is a functional, useful gate.

But every gate starts somewhere. About a year and a half ago, I built a fence to enclose our backyard. Included in this fence were two gates. When the Lowe's truck dropped off the materials, my fence was there. It would take many hours of constructing the fence: digging post holes, setting posts, waiting for posts to set, putting up cross beams, screwing the planks to the crossbeams. Finally I had to hang the gates. They were bulky, heavy and awkward. But to have a functional fence, they had to go up. After my labor, I had a fence and two gates up. It took some skill, some luck, some blood, sweat, and maybe even a tear or two to make the various boards, screws and hinges (technically a fence) and make it into a functional fence.

About two and a half years ago, we began to build a Gate. We had some pieces, then some other pieces. We kept planning how to build the Gate, how to fit the pieces we had into the most functional and best used form. Over time, the pieces kind of started placing themselves. It took most of that time, but here in the last few months, our 'technically a" Gate has started to look more and more like a functional Gate.

Our Gate, our church, had been like many churches all over the country, technically they are a church- all the pieces are there: People, music, teachers, doctrine. But many churches never achieve that functional church. The pieces just hang around, waiting to be built.

God is, of course, the primary builder. It's His plan we must follow for the church to live. He's the Contractor. We are the subcontractors and the raw materials. We have to learn to listen to what the Contractor is saying, follow His plan, build the way He wants.

Many churches stay in the raw material phase because they don't start doing their sub-contractor job. They assume someone else with do the job, so they sit around technically being a church.

Now, what is wrong with technically being a church? God created the fellowship of believers to not just be a theory, but a practice. Technical Churches talk alot, spend time together, but they go nowhere. They barely do anything of spiritual significance within themselves, let alone in the outside world.

What happened for our church was that people slowly began picking up the tools they were given- prayer, planning, organization, people skills, connections- and putting the Gate together. We were (and are) becoming a functional church.

The beauty of the actual church is that unlike our real life gates, there is always room for new pieces to come in and add to the functionality. But simply having people, large or small numbers of them, does not make a church. They must connect with God, and go forth and build His kingdom, from the inside out.

What is it?

The first time my daughter brought me a drawing, I humbly and carefully had to ask, "What is it?" She giggled, and responded, "Daaaad. It's a dog!"

Now, what I was looking at could have been a dog. Or a cat. Or pretty much any 4 legged creature with a tail and pointy ears. Over time, her art skills have gotten better, as have my interpretation skills. In the picture above, that is clearly a flower on the right. And a dog on the left. I think.

In this way, church is like art. It's open to interpretation. One person only sees church if a building, pews, hymns, and suits are present. Another sees church as a gathering of people who share a love of God and distaste of formality. Still another can see church in a coffee shop, bar or living room. Church may contain new music or old, any variety of displays of spirituality from prayer to speaking in tongues. And not everyone sees church in what we do.

Church is also like art in that it is not formulaic. Sure, there are liturgical churches that have a certain tyoe of formula, but that formula is not what makes it church. There is something...deeper and less obvious that makes it church.

For the purposes of our church, the Gate, there are three things that I desire to see in us as evidence that we are, in fact, a church.

A Place to Meet God
Simply put, if God doesn't show up, it is not church. We can sing songs, read the Bible, even pray, but if it is devoid of actual contact with God, it is nothing short of hypocrisy. We need to be sincere in our seeking of God, but we need to be equally expectant that we will see Him. If we do not have a spiritual connection with God most of the time we meet, then we are not a church.

An Evolving Community
Church must change. Not their core theology, but the manner in which they interact with themselves and those outside of their walls. As new people begin to spend time with us, their experiences and ours should begin to mingle and mix in such a way as create a new, more robust church personality. It's growth versus stagnation. We move or we die.

A Chance to Be the Church
Church is not something we do, it is who we are. We often fall into the way of thinking that someone else will take care of it. We let the seniors pay for it, they have the money. We let the middle-agers do the work, they have the strength and numbers. We let the younger folks do the kids' activities cuz they have the energy. Our church doesn't have luxury of assigning things to age groups. Our youngest attender is 18, our senior adult it 32. So, we have to be the church. We have to fill all the roles that arise: givers, evangelists, child care, leaders, etc. Church should not be a place that has a retirement plan. Nor should it be a place where you earn the right to work. You are born into church with that command.

Someday, you may walk into the Gate. You may see a bar that has young people singing about God in it. You may see the beer soaked floor, the Budweiser neon, and a stale smell to air. You may see a church.

I hope you'll see God. And be moved to grow with us and into Him.

Christianity is Stupid

I read this morning that Stephen Hawking, considered by many to be the most brilliant man alive, stated that he felt he had proof that God was not needed for Creation. That the Big Bang was, in fact, self caused as a result of gravity. The link is here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/7976594/Stephen-Hawking-God-was-not-needed-to-create-the-Universe.html

I'm not going to argue with the science that Dr. Hawking espouses, I just can't hang in that league. I'm not even going to try to defend that the story of Creation, or much of the rest of what we Christians beleive, is scientifically accurate. Or really, that it even makes sense.

For thousands of years, brilliant minds have sought answers, be they scientific, philosphical, theological, or pop cultural. These minds have often crossed each other, arguing that their theory, their view, is truth. Wars of words, and yes, wars of weapons have been waged in the name of being 'right.' Thats what arguments like the one I'm avoiding getting into lead to. And truth really gets lost in a sea of "I'm right, and you're not!"

So, I'm ending it. Right here.

Christianity is stupid.

That's right. It is nonsensical, unscientific, and fantastical. It asks us to believe in things that, to our senses, are not there. We are asked to beleive that there is a being of such great power and benevolence that he created a world as a sort of experiment to see what would happen. That he would then occasionally send messages to people of faith from murderers, adulterers, liars, and the like- about how to be holy. That this kind and loving God would terribly punish those who reject him. A God who tells us that the way to live is to die. A God that makes animals talk, changes dirt into people, and changes the coarse of OCEANS.

That makes no sense, to science or our own sensibilities.

Reading the comments to the article above, I saw that many people felt the same way. Christianity is full of what science calls contradictions. In more poetic terms, the "center does not hold." If God is so holy, why is one of his biggest allies Moses- a cowardly fugitive murderer? Why would Jesus let Lazarus die, when he could heal him? Just to prove he could raise the dead? That's not very kind. Nor is letting John the Baptist die a horrible, and kind of pointless death.

We live in a world that wants- no, demands- answers. Dr. Hawking has them. They are firm and clear, and well documented. Christianity tells us that we have to beleive in what we cannot see. It's no wonder the world runs to science when they have questions.

But there is something. Something that seems almost...sensical about Christianity. In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 2:14 says: "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." In science terms, you don't have the right rubric. When a scientest looks at something, they must be objective, but there is still something they are looking for. They have a baseline. Without all the information, they cannot come to a solid conclusion. Those who do not have the Spirit cannot accept( read: Understand) the thing of God, because they lack ALL of the variables in the experiment. But the same can be said for Christians who ignore science- we need to try to grasp that variable as well.

But in the end, we shouldn't expect to understand God. If I can fully understand God, then he is not God. So, it makes sense that we followers of God won't make sense to those who don't know Him as we do. Christianity does not resolve, it does not make sense, it is stupid.

But I am so glad that it doesn't have to make sense for me to receive grace.