"Just Because"

One of the things I've enjoyed most about my current situation is the time I get to spend with Kenna.  When Leslie was little, I was in the ministry full time and had a pretty lax schedule.  But we moved before Kenna was one, and her personality appeared while I was at work.  I've always regretted that I didn't get to spend the same time with her that I did Leslie, so this has given me an opportunity to change that.  Like yesterday, we sat down to lunch together while she watched My Little Pony.

And this morning.  I was driving her to Mother's Day Out, and we were making small talk.  For some reason, I asked, "Do you love me?"  Not sure why, really.

"Yes, Daddy," she responded, with a don't-you-know attitude.

Then, and I really don't know why I asked this, "Why do you love me?"  This is a dangerous question for a man to ask any woman, even his daughter.

She kinda giggled, and smiled, and said, "Just because."

In my rational mind, that wasn't an answer.  "Just because what?"

Still smiling, but with a firmness of a resolved answer, she said, "Just because."

(Now, the though process that I'm about to share took all of a second to go down.  I say that not to brag about my lightspeed thought process, but to point out exactly how quickly this went down.  Also to explain that my mind works that way to anyone who has ever been in a conversation with me and I said something that seemed random- I just made really quick though adjustments and didn't tell you.)

I grew a little irritated.  I wanted to know why she loved me.  For whatever reason, we humans need to qualify things.  We can't just say we love something, we have to prove why.  It's true in our tastes for food, for our political preference, for our favorite movies, for our faith, and for our affections.  She couldn't love me "Just because."  

That was unconditional love.

-Wait.-

That was unconditional love.   

That was the love that I was supposed to have for her.  And I do, but how often have I tried to qualify why I love her?  It's good things, like her creativity, her sense of humor and her beauty.  And for her sister, it is her mind, her athletic prowess and her beauty.  (Seriously, they are both gorgeous girls.)  It's other things for each of them (and for Kristin as well), but deep down I love them just because they are.  And she was saying she loves me just because I am.  

That's the kind of love we all long for.

That's the love that God offers us.  He says "I love you as you are.  I do not need you to be the smartest, the prettiest, the strongest, the most theological, the most faithful.  I don't even need you to be a good person.  I love you because you are.  Just because."

He does not love us for our quality- He loves us in spite of our lack of quality.  He doesn't love us because we are chaste or promiscuous, or because we are straight or gay, or because we are honest or liars, or because we are pacifists or murderous, or because we are Christian or Muslim or Atheist.  There are things He hopes we choose, paths and beliefs He wants us to hold, but He will not force us.  And if we choose His way, He is pleased and overjoyed and He loves us.  Any good we do should be just an expression of our appreciation.  If we go against Him, He is hurt, He is broken-hearted, and He acts in justice- and He loves us.  I believe even if we reject Him to point we go to Hell, He loves us- and He is devastated over our rejection of Him.  Because we are all His children.  He loves us. 

Just because.

I looked back at Kenna in the rearview mirror.  She sat there smiling and looking back.  She had no idea that God has just spoken to me through her.  "Hey, Kenna.  You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know why?"

She smiles and shakes her head "No."

"Just because."

Eulogy for the Gate

Last night, the Gate closed its doors.

It was just over four years ago that a handful of people gathered in my living room for burgers and to talk about a new church we were starting.  Some of those folks were still with us when we first walked into Hurricane Harry's for the first night of worship as the "church in a bar."  It was different and somewhat odd at first.  I'd frequently get migraines from the smell of old cigarette smoke that had dug itself into the walls.  It was hot in the summers, and cold in the winters.  Week in, week out we'd set up and tear down.  Sometimes it was one or two of us, sometimes four for set up, but it was always the whole church for tear down.  It was there that we first really began to bond.

Over the years, we added a few more people to the church.  By last night, we'd had almost a dozen different people lead worship from time to time, we'd had a half dozen nights where the students spoke, we'd observed the Lord's Supper through a night of music we called Restoration at least twelve times.  We'd served at Big Event- the service project A&M students do in March- three times.  The first time we found a home where the wife signed up without the husbands' knowledge.  So we moved a massive dog house across a mud filled yard that had just been trenched for new water lines.  We'd served at food pantries, and helped with a city-wide youth service that got rained out so it moved to a nearby church, despite the speakers and some of the bands leaving early.

We never figured out how to consistently get out sound system to work.

Those were the things we did, but they are not who we are.

Who we are is more complicated.  We are Baptist, Catholic, Anglican, Church of Christ, Methodist, Non-Denominational, Charismatic, and other things I can't recall.  We love sports, knitting, comic books, video games, working on computers, art, music, building things, playing games, serving people, and eating.  We were the cool kids in high school, we were the outcasts.  We were pastor's kids, we never went to church much.  We only listen to Christian music, we never listen to Christian music.  We are shy and reserved, cautious in beginning relationships, and averse to physical touch- we are boisterous and friendly and love to hug.  We like to talk and debate theology, we just like to rest on faith.

We are all sorts of people.

We are the in-between people.

And because the people we are is what the Gate is, the Gate is not dead.

Well, not permanently.

When the Gate began, we wanted it to be a church led by college students, but they would be acting pretty much just in the vision of we the leaders.  We wanted to reach students, we wanted to share Christ with them like Paul said- " I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means  I might save some. (paraphrased)" - 1 Corinthians 9:23.  But we had trouble getting into the mindset of college students.

So, why not let the students cast the vision?

To do this meant that there had to be major changes.  No slight and subtle shifts, it had to be fresh start to ingrain this mentality at birth.  The church needed to re-start, to re-boot.

To resurrect.

Like Christ died and lay in the grave for three days, the Gate died and will lay in the 'grave' for three months.  And then, on August 26, 2012, the church will rise.  We do not yet know what she will look like, how she will act.  We know her theology, her place of meeting and her name, but the rest is still in the hearts of the students and young adults who are starting this church with us.

The Gate is the people who are inhabited by the Holy Spirit and connected to each other by this community called the Gate.

And that is why we yet live!

Video of "Give Us Rest Message"