I Don't Hate You

I don't hate you because you are gay. I have a set of beliefs, founded in my faith and based on scriptures, and these beliefs are that I am a new creation in Christ. It is my identity. In my identity, I follow the commands of my God out of love for Him. He says that homosexuality is a sin, and as so with all of His words, I try to heed that. That means that at the same time I see homosexuality as a sin, I also see no cause for me to judge you. All I can say is what I believe, and then I must strive to treat you as Christ would- not with hate, but with love and a desire to understand where you are.

I don't hate you because you are of a different faith. I respect your devotion to your faith, and would hope you could respect mine. In fact, I believe devoted people of all faiths can teach each other how to be better people- Mormons understand community and charity better than most, Muslims are more committed than most, Buddhists are far less materialistic. The issue for us all is that we believe very strongly that our way is the true way, and in many cases our belief system states that it is the only way. So, until one day when all Truth is revealed, you will continue to share your message with me, and I with you. I will do all I can to be courteous and thoughtful in our discussion, but I understand we may never agree. Ultimately, your decisions (and mine) regarding faith are between you and your deity.

I don't hate you because you are a murderer/terrorist/criminal. You've done bad things. You've hurt people. I do not condone, agree with, or understand your actions. But I cannot hate you, because I am guilty of murder as well. I may not have pulled a trigger, detonated a bomb, or stabbed anyone, but my actions led to the death of someone. My sin created a need for an atoning sacrifice-I had to pay for my sins with my eternal life being separated from God. But someone could step in and take my punishment. Jesus was the only one worthy of making that sacrifice, and He did it, willingly, on a cross. To save me from my sin, He put Himself there. My sins, they killed Him. You and I, we are the same then. We have taken a life, we have done harm. And if there is grace for me, then there is grace for you. If God will show it to you, then I too will offer you grace, and hope for a true change in you.

I don't hate you for your politics. I'll be really honest, politics are cruel. They are almost like the new religion in America. Each side tries to paint the other as a tyrant and evil to core with a hidden agenda for world domination. Maybe it's true. But that doesn't matter. Even if one side has nefarious purposes, I shouldn't hate you. I can disagree, I can even fight aggressively against you, but I can never hate you. It's not always easy, mind you. Sometimes the things said are harsh and cruel and painful. The actions sometimes cut and sometimes attack the values I hold dear. But I must remind myself that the attacks on Jesus, and the quite literal cuts on His Body were far worse. And He offered not words of condemnation, but words of forgiveness. A lesson I try daily to put into practice.

I don't hate you because you're a jerk. You are mean, cruel, uncaring, selfish, and obtuse. I do not like being around you. You, you are the hardest to love. You are hardest to love because you are not distant, not a far-off concept- you are a neighbor, a boss, a co-worker, a roommate, a competitor. I know you personally, I see your face, and I hear your words as they are said- not as they typed in a story or recorded on TV. I see your faults, and I see your intentions perhaps more clearly than any other entity I disagree with. The truth is, I want to hate you. I want to see you fail, to see you caught in your transgressions. The wrongs you commit against me are not concepts and ideas, they are real and they affect my life directly. But I cannot hate you. Because, if not for circumstances being what they are, I could be you. In fact, there is probably someone out there who thinks of me as I think of you. I would hope that those people would confront me, and kindly, gently, enlighten me. I wish that you would allow me that. For as much as I want to hate you, I want to love you. Because love is better. It produces better things, good and productive things. Hate produces nothing but destruction. Cruel things were said and done to Jesus- and He loved even when we were unlovable.

This is the standard I am striving towards daily.

Repressive aka Let's Talk About Sex

"The church's stance on murder is just so...archaic."

"I wish the church wouldn't be so against stealing. I mean, come on, it's the 21st century"

"I'd go to church, but I just feel like Christianity's opposition to lying stifles me too much."

Let's be honest, when people accuse the church of being repressive, these arguments are never heard. At least, I've not heard them. Maybe the second one a little in the area of illegal downloads from the internet, but definitely not the first one.

No, when the church is accused of being repressive, its about sex.

It seems the church is far more known for what sex it is opposed to than for the fact that God actually created sex and created it to be a worshipful act. And it is important that we recognize that there is a need for lots of the "rules" the church puts out there, but we need to understand why.

The Rules

Leviticus 18 is chock full of rules, most of them common sense. Like don't sleep with a relative. Apparently, this was a major problem as about 75% of the rules in this chapter deal with that. But it also deals with not sleeping with your neighbor's wife or engaging in bestiality. It touches on not engaging in homosexuality, as well.

Lest that one be relegated to the area of "Well, that was the Old Testament..." Acts 2 comes down pretty hard against men sleeping with men and women abandoning normal relations for "unnatural ones."

It's here that many people start in with the argument that "See the church is being repressive, they don't want me to be me, to have any fun." Which gets us to an interesting point- modern sexuality would have you place your primary identity in your sexual identity. Your entire worldview is colored (including your religion) by whether you are gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgendered, or whatever sexuality you engage in. Your religion, your job, your race- all of these are secondary to your sexuality. That's the perception I see, anyway.

Back to the point- does the church just not want us to enjoy ourselves? Is the church really trying to squash our fun?

Before the rules start flowing in Leviticus 18, we get verse 5:

Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.

At first glance, it seems the verse is being redundant. Obey these rules and live by them. Isn't that what obeying means, to live by something? But the Bible is fond of using that word 'live' in the context of finding true life. I believe that to be the case here. Obey these rules, and you will find true life.

In fact, I think all the laws are based in that idea- do this to find fulfillment in life. The dietary laws are often pointed out as being out-dated and totally ignored by modern Christians- even the New Testament explicitly spells out that we are free from them. But they were laws that were meant to keep people from eating pork and shellfish that were often ill-prepared, resulting in illness. And I love the taste of bacon, but let's be honest- it will kill you. Eventually.

So, I believe the laws of the Bible are not about keeping us from fun and enjoyment. God, who created us and knows us inside and out, is saying that His way is the best way to live. It's the way to find life.

( A side note. Google Oxytocin. It's this chemical that is released in nursing mothers to bond their child to them, and them to the child. It's called the "cuddle chemical." It is also released during sex to bond the partners together. For a long time, the church has said that sex is more than a physical act and that there is no such thing as casual hook-ups. It is a spiritual connection. Now science is saying that sex is in fact an act that bonds, in a profound way, two people together. And who says the Church is Anti-Science. ;) )

Let's Talk About Sex

The church has rightfully been accused of not talking about sex. Because it hasn't. The only time Christians talk about sex is to say "Don't do it. Unless your married. And even then, only if you really have to."

But God is not silent on sex. For instance, Song of Solomon. All about romantic love. Even sex. Seriously, some of the wording in that book would fit in romance novel of the adult variety- with an agrarian theme of course.

Outside of that, sex is prevalent in much of the Old Testament, and shock of all shocks, heroes of the Bible like David, Ruth and Boaz, and Esther engage in not exactly holy acts of sex.

Which bring us to a vital point. Even if you have engaged in sex in a manner that is not holy or acceptable to God- promiscuity, adultery, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, etc.- you are not hell-bound or totally useless to God. Jesus offers us who would judge an example on how to act, and those of us who have made mistakes hope for redemption in John 8.

A woman is caught in adultery. A death penalty sin, according to the law. Yet Jesus will not condemn her to death, and protects her from the legalistic mob drooling for her blood. As they walk away, Jesus asks her who where her accuser are. She says that they've left. Jesus says, in verse

Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

We are not to condemn, but forgive and encourage the person to move on from that life. Not because we want them to conform to our standards and rules, but because we genuinely believe God's commands, and that they are the way to better life.

There is much in the world of sex. Questions will always arise about what is acceptable to God and what isn't. If the Bible doesn't speak on it directly, then I believe it is a question you can ask only of God and your partner. If you are person who is engaged in a sexual lifestyle that is- as defined by the Bible- a sin, then I believe you and God must have a talk. My job is not to condemn you, for what I view as your sin is no greater or worse than any of my own. I am in just as much need for forgiveness as everyone else.

I'm planning a follow-up piece here in a few days, dealing not specifically with sex, but with the general idea that the Church is repressive, I'll have more to say there.

Anti-Science

"Science and religion do not mix."

Common knowledge, right? I mean, ask a scientist and they say that, ask a theologian and they say it as well.

Let's look at the facts: Religion says the Creation was formed in seven days, but science says billions of years. Religion says God formed man, science says evolution led man to come to be as we know him. Religion taught for centuries the flat earth/earth center of the universe theories- science disproved them. Science can't explain miraculous healings or a man dead several days suddenly alive, religion is founded on those kinds of ideas.

And so, the war between religion and science has raged. Each getting defensive, each biting back at the other in sometimes petty ways. And the church has been labeled by many as being anti-science.

And the label sticks. Religion is anti-science. At it's very core, it must be. If the resurrection of Christ could be scientifically explained, then the central miracle of the Christian religion is not so special. The Cross, the Tomb, and the Resurrection must be as far from science as possible- for it to be what we followers of Christ profess it to be, it must be beyond the realm of science and human possibility. For one to follow Christ, they must accept this episode of Christ's life and death and resurrection not on scientific fact, but on faith- purely on faith.

It's now 2000 years after those events, give or take. Religion is largely unchanged in it's core elements, but science has evolved and exploded. At Christ's time, science was the fringe thing and religion was the dominant power. Our commonplace items like cars, TV's, the internet and smart phones would be labeled witchcraft and sorcery by the contemporaries of the Messiah. Now, science is the dominant power and religion is increasingly on the fringe. And that's even true among Christians.

Barna Group's research shows that around 52% of 13-17 year old active church attenders plan to go into a science related career field. Young people who have questions about faith are increasing turning to Google over theology books, mentors, or even the Bible. Young people are seeking to know why they believe what they believe ( a good thing, in my opinion), but they seem to be increasingly basing that decision on cold hard facts. They don't want to take things on faith, at least, not very often. And religion is fighting back with fear and sometimes anger at a lost generation. And they are in fact losing a generation.

As it has been from the beginning of the conflict, it is now:

Science and religion do not mix.

But science and faith can.

Consider for a moment that some of the great scientific discoveries- like that the sun was the center of the galaxy, not earth- were discovered by Christians. Galileo was devout, and bucked the church's authority when he proposed his theory on the sun-centered galaxy. He was one of many Christians who embraced both science and faith, and changed the world because of it.

At the heart of how science and faith can co-exist while science and religion cannot is the nature of the things themselves. I said earlier that religion is largely unchanged in 2000 years, while science is always changing- not unlike our personal faith. Religion is often rigid ( And to be fair, science is as well. Once an idea is accepted as law -or even theory, it's nigh impossible to change minds, even if the law or theory is wrong.). But faith is fluid. Faith is willing to trust in things, even if they don't make sense. I'd even argue that faith is necessary to be a good scientist. Scientists must have faith in their methods, in their practices, in their theories and in the scientists that have come before them.

I don't think there is anything wrong with taking a scientific approach to Christianity. I think there is room for debate on some of the seemingly immovable precepts like Time for Creation and Evolution. The reason I say that is that no matter what one believes in regards to them, one can still be saved by Christ's sacrifice.

I look at it this way: Everyone is trying to build a bridge to cross the chasm of seperation from Man to God. You use your knowledge, experience, opinions, advice of others and even science to build that bridge. Any tool available should be used. For some, the bridge is long and the construction is hard. For others, the bridge is small and the labor light.

But no one's bridge will ever complete the chasm fully. There does not exist in this world enough proof in science, experience, opinions or advice to fully bridge that gap.

Everyone comes to a point where if they want to believe in Christ, they must take a leap from the belief system they've carefully constructed to the actual presence of God. Science cannot get you there- only the Cross of Christ and His Resurrection can, and it makes no scientific sense. I'd even argue that if you believe in it based on science, you're missing the point. It MUST come down to faith.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. --Ephesians 2:8-9

I think Faith and Science can and should work together. I think the fact that 52% of young Christians want to pursue the sciences as a career is great- we the Church need to encourage their pursuit of that dream as a chance to share and discover the glory of God in new ways. A well designed bridge or a marvelous tech tool or a skilled surgeon can be just as much an act of worship to God as a praise song- if the maker of those things is intent on honoring God.

I want to close with this thought: In your faith, always strive to understand why you believe what you believe. Seek answers, allow your doubts to drive you to hope. Never settle for what religion tells you when God is the one who truly has the answers- even if He's holding out on them from time to time. And in your science, do likewise. Never simply believe in the atom or gravity or climate change or biology or evolution or intelligent design because of who proposed it or how long it's been upheld or how many people believe it.

Seek answers.

O Pastor, Where Art Thou?

As a child, when I thought of pastors, I had an image of a gray haired man in a suit, standing behind some wooden box in the front of a big room. Basically, this:

Even as an adult in the ministry, I shuddered at the thought of ever becoming a pastor. It was too rigid, too stuffy. Too much responsibility. And years of youth ministry had created an aversion to wearing suits.

Yet, God called me to pastor anyway. But, and I am tirelessly grateful for this, it was to pastor a new church, a church that had no preconceived notions of what a pastor was, or how he dressed. And, to top it off, God called me to pastor a church in a bar, so my image of "pastor" could now be fully tossed out the window. Now, it looks like this:



The problem was, I still had no idea what the substance of the role of pastor was all about. I had served under some good pastors for too short a time, or some good men who were just plain tired and burned out, or some- well, let's just say some works in progress. And from my time as a youth, I knew that pastors needed to be good speakers and be nice to people, but other than that, not much.

I read some leadership books. They seemed to tell pastors to act like business men. I stopped reading them.

I tried being a hands off pastor, let things just flow. Nothing happened.

I tried to be a sterner leader. It alienated people.

Then it hit me: Pastoring has become about leadership alone, and forgotten the key characteristic of shepherding.

I looked at popular pastors- locally and nationally. The big guys were leaders, alpha-dogs. They conveyed concern and compassion and seemed genuine. They were good speakers. But everything the church did flowed from them- they were leaders, and they were the fount of inspiration for every major initiative of the church. If the pastor didn't create the idea- or at the very least massively endorse it- it didn't go far.

Just the other day, Chase, a new visitor to the Gate mentioned that the reason some people think church is boring is because it's the same old thing all the time. He went on to say that some people complain, just to complain, but that if there is a problem, the complainers need to offer a solution.

It was then that it hit me- again. The church needs leader/shepherds. See, the problem is that the pastor has become, in the minds of the modern church, much like the Old Testament Priest. He does it all. He is the visionary. He is the initiator. He is the chief prayer warrior. And the Leaders Only Model of pastoring has taken this bait hook, line and sinker.

Why? Because it's easier.

It is easier to lead the people and tell them what to do than it is to prepare and disciple and equip them to do it themselves. That's shepherding.

Shepherding is walking alongside the people, and guiding them gently. It's noticing their spiritual inclinations to do good and nudging them toward that. It's nurturing the natural gifts and talents of the individuals in the church and working with them to see those gifts used for God's glory. Shepherding is letting the people who make of the Body of Christ make choices for themselves, and only stepping in to keep them on the right course and away from danger.

I'm learning there is a balance that must be sought between leading and shepherding. The church is where all believers can come together and share ways to seek God, but the church must have a leader that brings it all together in a focus.

And, I believe, above all, the pastor must be allowed to be human. Too many times I've read about or seen pastors who become idols, or who suddenly fall to a "secret" sin that gets publicized. Pastors are not celebrities, and they do make mistakes.

A good pastor will have the grace to equip the church to make decisions, the strength to lead the church toward Christ, and the courage to share his failures.

Shallow

I was teaching a young adult Sunday School Class one Sunday, when, in the middle of the lesson, one person spoke up. He said that he'd had this same lesson, with basically the same questions, every year of his life, as far back as he could remember. And it was all superficial, nothing deep, nothing that impacted his spiritual life in a meaningful way.

That accusation is being leveled at the American church by a large number of Christian young people. It's not just hollow and repetitive Bible studies, it is a shallow Church. One that lacks true relationships, true concern for growing REAL disciples, and lacks a connection with young people who WANT to connect.

A recent survey done by the Barna Group pointed out that nearly half of all 18-29 year olds with church background never had a close adult friend in their church or parish, never had any experience serving the poor through their church, never had anyone take an interest in their education, and never had anyone point them to the fact that Christianity could actually apply to their "real life."

Now, I'm no lover of the mega-church, and blame that model for some of this, especially the fact that many church relationships are surface level only. But this problem persists in small churches as much or more than large churches. Why?

Personally, I think it's because we've all but abandoned Biblical discipleship in favor of the classroom style discipleship. I have nothing against Sunday School or Discipleship Training classes- but if that is the only type of discipleship available, we're screwed.

We've seen that it is easier to mass-produce Christians than it is to grow Disciples. Classroom style Discipleship has its place, but people need something more personal, more intimate, if we want to really grow deeper in Christ.

Here's what I'm getting at: When was the last time someone more experienced in their faith took time to guide you on a personal level? When was the last time you mentored a newer believer? This relationship is one of the foundational relationships in the early church. Jesus would even take smaller groups aside- James, John, and Peter, even Peter alone. Then there is Paul and Timothy, the model all pastors talk about for discipleship basis.

But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.

-Philippians 2:22

Biblical discipleship looks a lot like first century apprenticeship. A dad taught his son the family business by working closely with him, guiding him either gently or firmly as needed to make him the best he could be. The son did not learn by sitting in a lecture hall, he learned by doing- to steal a phrase from 4-H.

This is Biblical Discipleship. It must be performed not in classroom, or even in a sanctuary. Those places are useful, but real discipleship must happen in coffee shops, on the streets, at service projects, sitting across the lunch table at work, driving in the car, chatting online. Real Discipleship happens in REAL LIFE. Not in a clinical, safe environment. We cannot gripe about the fact that our young people are not sharing Christ if we who are their more experienced brothers and sisters are not showing how to do it. Real time, in the real world.

Until we get that it is the personal and intimate relationship that makes discipleship work, we will remain shallow.

On a closing note, I've laid a lot of blame at the feet of the leaders. The truth is, this personal and intimate thing goes both ways. Leaders need to model it, but disciples need to reciprocate. Leaders must make the discipling relationship a safe place to share- and they must also do the same for the church at large. But the disciples must open the door to their lives as well, if they expect to grow. There are times that the reason a church is shallow is because the people who complain the most about the lack of depth, are they themselves afraid to test the deeper waters of relationships AND faith.

Overprotective

We've all seen those parents that watch their kids like a hawk, never letting them try anything remotely dangerous, shielding their eyes and minds from dissenting or possibly offensive views, babying them into a state of perpetual childhood.

Society has done it as well. When 9-11 happened, the policy of many schools in the days following was basically to pretend it didn't happen so the kids didn't traumatized. As a Kindergartner, I watched as the Challenger exploded on live TV in front of me and hundreds of thousands of elementary students. Most of us turned out OK.

There is a line, I should point out, between good parenting and sheltering or overprotecting our kids. Every parent flirts with it, and at times crosses it. Every one.

And the Church, like a parent, is no exception.

For years, it seems the Church has fostered an environment that works really hard to keep the world at bay. It has resulted in things like "Praise Hero," the Christian alternative to "Guitar Hero." And things like Christian Coffee Houses, and Christian Night Clubs, and anything that makes it possible for Christians to have all the things of the world without ever actually going to the world.

The overprotective nature of the Church has produced a cultural gap, as well as an artistic gap. Leaders have urged their followers to judge a movie based only on a rating, and not the actual content. It has just been safer to prohibit all alcohol rather than actually teach people self-control. And asking hard and deep questions about faith? Forget about it.

Now, we sit at a point where a generation of church-goers are graduating High School, tasting freedom and spitting the taste of Church out of their mouth. They are seeing there are good things in Christ, but there are bad teachings coming from their churches. They hear Jesus say they should love the drunks and the adulterers and the thieves, but are told by the church to stay away from places they hang out, lest they be corrupted. They hear Jesus say "Come to me all who are weary," but see their churches cast weary looks at people who come to church but just don't "fit" with the congregation.

What is the answer? Is it freedom?

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. --Galatians 5:1

The obvious response is that we should seek freedom from the 'laws' the churches have made. Paul was often telling people things along those lines. That Grace had come, and the Law was not your yoke anymore, so don't wear it that way. We can do what we want, right?

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. --Galatians 5:13

Yes, we have freedom, but we also need discernment- wisdom to make the right choice with that freedom. And clearly, God's call is that we use our freedom to better others. What does that look like?

Just this week, I met with two different students whose interests are not interests the Church knows much of what to do with lately.

Ashley is an artist, and a creative. God has placed an idea on her heart, a vision to paint in public as a way to share Christ. A way to connect with people by painting what they tell her about themselves, and offering them hope and beauty in the form of art that reflects Christ. I am not an artist, but I appreciate it. More than that, I appreciate a heart that God made to love art and create art, a heart that beats for His Glory. So, I encouraged her, gave her hope (I hope), and I pray God uses her.

Daniel plays video games and likes comic books. In passing, a few weeks ago, I mentioned to him I believed that we can find a way to worship God in our interests, no matter how seemingly nonspiritual they may seem. Daniel told me this week of how, when playing a video game, he managed to connect with a young man, and they began to talk about God. This young man was feeling kind of lonely, and Daniel started a friendship based in Christ.

We as the church must not fear the world we live in. We must enter it with caution, but, we must enter it. We must take risks, try new things, and dare to attempt things that may fail or hurt us. And we must encourage our brothers and sisters to pursue their hopes and dreams that come from God- not try to protect them from those visions.