How much to care?

For the last few years, I have been on a journey of learning compassion. For a long time mercy was my lowest ranking on any spiritual gift inventory. Now, because of several cases of life teaching me a lesson, I'm doing a bit better.
Which brings me to my job, the one that pays the bills. Part of my job is to drive out to properties with delinquent taxes and leave tax statements and notes to pay the taxes or the property might be sold. More often than not, the people are not there, but the trappings of their lives are. I often see remnants of beer cans and boxes, some sort of grill, cars in various states of 'repair.' Some homes have cutesy little signs, some appear to be vacant, if not for the fact that a large pit bull, or pack of pits, is tugging violently on its chain in an attempt to, I guess, eat me.
But its when I notice something else that is common at these homes that my heart begins to break. Toys. And I think of my own daughters, and how they view me. Most often, I think they really like me, and if preschoolers had a word for it respect, that might be what they used. I think most small children have that concept down, and lose it as they grow taller and 'wiser.' So I think about these homes, with their toys and signs and beer cans, I wonder how much those kids understand about their parents failings. Do they know dad can't keep a job because of those beer cans, or that mom lies, or that neither parents have paid taxes in 5 years? But the light quickly falls on me, and I wonder what my children would think if they knew the wickedness in me. The selfishness, lust, anger, or laziness that is at war with person I want to be, need to be, in Christ.
As I put that note in their door, I am humbled, because when I see these people struggle with the difficulties of life, or their sin, or whatever it is that has led them to the situation that now brings me to their house, I see the falleness of us all. This is not how it was supposed to be. And I know that He is coming to make it alright, but there are times, I really wish He'd hurry.

...Where we're going.

So 2009 has been here a few days, and its been pretty ok. Rather than make any resolutions, I thought we do some Dreams (the crazy stuff), Hopes (things that would be great) and Prayers (the things we're actively pursuing).

Dreams: 1. I'd like a million dollars. Not too much more, cuz taxes would kill us. It lets us pay off the house and car, and we can buy the brand name peanut butter for the kids. And maybe we could finish the fence at one time instead of over the decade.
2. The Gate would reach 500. That number, because if the average tithe is $1000, Wally and I could go full time as pastors. Plus, 500 legitimizes us in the eyes of the world as a success. And if we're kooky enough with 500 people, publishers will want a book, and I'd love to write one. And finish it.
3. One (or both) of the girls develop scholarship worthy abilities at the ages of 4 and 2 respectively. Then we don't have to worry about college. Which we wouldn't worry about at all if we got Dream #1 as well.

Hopes: 1. A healthy year. No major illness in the family due to pets or greasy food.
2. The time and money for a real family vacation. Nothing wrong with visiting family, but they don't live in the mountains, and I think our girls believe we made those rocky things up in an elaborate hoax involving various national publications and the Discovery Channel.
3. More snow in College Station. It was great back in December, but the snowman we made was really sub-par and whipped up rather hastily. We can do better. Maybe that is the girls' scholarship ticket...

Prayers: 1. For the Gate to have at least 25 regular attenders by this summer. We'd love to have some momentum going into the summer. Which if you're reading this, and love A&M and don't currently attend the Gate, you should. Commute or move, but you should soooo be with us. Especially those of you with family already here. Or Friends. Or a favorite restaurant.
2. To find a way to serve others better, both individually and as a part of the Gate. I really feel there is a need for us as followers of Jesus to seek out those in need and love them, serve them, or whatever.
3. To be generally better at everything. Yeah, I know, but I really think we out to be striving to be better at loving each other, being less selfish, doing the best we can in our profession, be better listeners, blah, blah, blah. In all seriousness, I think I'll find 2 or 3 things in my attitude or actions to really work on. Some of you may want to work on a few more than that. Pride. That's definitely one for me.

Have a great New Year!