How much to care?

For the last few years, I have been on a journey of learning compassion. For a long time mercy was my lowest ranking on any spiritual gift inventory. Now, because of several cases of life teaching me a lesson, I'm doing a bit better.
Which brings me to my job, the one that pays the bills. Part of my job is to drive out to properties with delinquent taxes and leave tax statements and notes to pay the taxes or the property might be sold. More often than not, the people are not there, but the trappings of their lives are. I often see remnants of beer cans and boxes, some sort of grill, cars in various states of 'repair.' Some homes have cutesy little signs, some appear to be vacant, if not for the fact that a large pit bull, or pack of pits, is tugging violently on its chain in an attempt to, I guess, eat me.
But its when I notice something else that is common at these homes that my heart begins to break. Toys. And I think of my own daughters, and how they view me. Most often, I think they really like me, and if preschoolers had a word for it respect, that might be what they used. I think most small children have that concept down, and lose it as they grow taller and 'wiser.' So I think about these homes, with their toys and signs and beer cans, I wonder how much those kids understand about their parents failings. Do they know dad can't keep a job because of those beer cans, or that mom lies, or that neither parents have paid taxes in 5 years? But the light quickly falls on me, and I wonder what my children would think if they knew the wickedness in me. The selfishness, lust, anger, or laziness that is at war with person I want to be, need to be, in Christ.
As I put that note in their door, I am humbled, because when I see these people struggle with the difficulties of life, or their sin, or whatever it is that has led them to the situation that now brings me to their house, I see the falleness of us all. This is not how it was supposed to be. And I know that He is coming to make it alright, but there are times, I really wish He'd hurry.

...Where we're going.

So 2009 has been here a few days, and its been pretty ok. Rather than make any resolutions, I thought we do some Dreams (the crazy stuff), Hopes (things that would be great) and Prayers (the things we're actively pursuing).

Dreams: 1. I'd like a million dollars. Not too much more, cuz taxes would kill us. It lets us pay off the house and car, and we can buy the brand name peanut butter for the kids. And maybe we could finish the fence at one time instead of over the decade.
2. The Gate would reach 500. That number, because if the average tithe is $1000, Wally and I could go full time as pastors. Plus, 500 legitimizes us in the eyes of the world as a success. And if we're kooky enough with 500 people, publishers will want a book, and I'd love to write one. And finish it.
3. One (or both) of the girls develop scholarship worthy abilities at the ages of 4 and 2 respectively. Then we don't have to worry about college. Which we wouldn't worry about at all if we got Dream #1 as well.

Hopes: 1. A healthy year. No major illness in the family due to pets or greasy food.
2. The time and money for a real family vacation. Nothing wrong with visiting family, but they don't live in the mountains, and I think our girls believe we made those rocky things up in an elaborate hoax involving various national publications and the Discovery Channel.
3. More snow in College Station. It was great back in December, but the snowman we made was really sub-par and whipped up rather hastily. We can do better. Maybe that is the girls' scholarship ticket...

Prayers: 1. For the Gate to have at least 25 regular attenders by this summer. We'd love to have some momentum going into the summer. Which if you're reading this, and love A&M and don't currently attend the Gate, you should. Commute or move, but you should soooo be with us. Especially those of you with family already here. Or Friends. Or a favorite restaurant.
2. To find a way to serve others better, both individually and as a part of the Gate. I really feel there is a need for us as followers of Jesus to seek out those in need and love them, serve them, or whatever.
3. To be generally better at everything. Yeah, I know, but I really think we out to be striving to be better at loving each other, being less selfish, doing the best we can in our profession, be better listeners, blah, blah, blah. In all seriousness, I think I'll find 2 or 3 things in my attitude or actions to really work on. Some of you may want to work on a few more than that. Pride. That's definitely one for me.

Have a great New Year!

Where we've been...

With the year at an end, I thought I'd review the year we've had in our house and church.

January: The year started off terribly, with the passing of Kristin's dad. He had fought his cancer bravely and won, but the cost of the battle was too much for his body to handle. This loss was tempered with our faith in Wayne's destination and the life he had lived.

February: Kristin had a lump in her leg that was causing all sorts of problems, including making it hard to walk. The family doctor found it too difficult to remove, so we got passed to a genreal surgeon, still not knowing what it was, even after a CT scan. Which, by the way, is waaay expensive. After the surgery, we found out it was Cat Scratch Fever (seriously, it IS a real disease). I laughed, Kristin was not humored.

March: We caught enough of a breather to start launching the Gate, and had some students over for hamburgers.

April: The Gate begins meeting on Mondays for conversations, a small group. We start with 5, plus our two girls. It goes well.

May: Kristin begins to experience flare ups of her recurring stomach issues, the Gate presses on and we prepare for...

June: ...when Wally and Crissy Wellborn, our fellow church planters get moved to BCS. We eat out way too much. Kristin is not feeling better.

July: After having reached as many as 10 in Conversations, most of the students head home for the summer, and the numbers drop to 5, we begin to start looking to what we need to be in the fall. Kristin stomach illness is really bad, and we don't like doctors that can't see sick people.

August: We finally get fed up with the family doctor and get started with a gastro specialist. We make the bold decision with the Gate to have a public service, at a bar. We have about two weeks to find a bar, a worship leader, do publicity, and freak out.

September: Kristin has a colonoscopy/endoscopy and we discover she has a hiatal hernia in her esophagus and reflux as the issue. We become fans of Nexium. Kristin starts work at Mother's Day Out at Hillcrest Baptist Church, and the girls begin their first daycare type experience. They all love it. We get ready to launch the church ... and wait 3 weeks while Hurricanes Gustav and Ike take aim at us. Gustav missed, and Ike was an irritant, but its effects on the coast sent evacuees to BCS, and our plan for publicity was affected. Finally, after three postponements, we have a booth at Breakaway (college Bible Study on Campus) and get buzz as the 'Bar church.' The first service launches with 19 people, including kids and nursery workers. We did find a worship leader and we were meeting at Hurricane Harry's once a month. Despite a multitude of tech issues, the night went pretty well.

October: Second Harry's service and we join up with the Aggie Baptist Student Ministry for their midnight pancake feed on Northgate (bar central here) on Halloween. Drunk people are funny. Costumed drunk people are hi-larious.

November: Final Harry's service of the semester, and we decide right before Thanksgiving to bake and give out 1000 Christmas cookies before finals, which was in a week. Our oven almost died of exhaustion. We had to put the family cat, Lucky, down. It was tough.

December: We got snow in College Station, and the girls got to play in it. It was about 2-3 inches, and it was amazing. Then, a week or so before Christmas everyone got sick. Twice. Except me. I just got sick on Christmas Eve. Not cool.

So that is the Lehrmann year in review. I'll post back soon with our hopes and pursuits for 2009.

Got this song stuck in my head...

So after a day of dealing with a sick kid, the little one, I was frustrated. I tend to get kind of...negative when things are tough. I see the worst, expect more bad, act kinda pouty. You know, like any 4 year old would.
Kristin was on the phone, Les on the Computer, Kenna starting to feel better and watching her shows on TV, so I, out of boreddom, started doing dishes. A note here, I have found that doing dishes while listening to the I-Pod on its speakers makes it a more bearable experience. (Shhhh, don't tell Kristin)
So, Charlie Hall's "You are God" rolls onto the I-Pod. And I soak it in. And hit repeat. Again. Again. And what sticks the most is the line "He's closer than our troubles." I often claim to feel like God is distant when things are tough, yet if He is in us, He is in fact nearer than our troubles, even the ones we make worse by dwelling on them and getting heartsick over. I think He looks at us and shakes his head, not out of frustration, but out of sorrow. Sorrow that we have not looked to Him.
Which is the second revelatory verse in the song: "We are stunned with wide eyed wonder." I have been stunned by a sight before, as recently as this past week when College Station got covered in a couple inches of snow. The beauty was enormous, compounded by the fact that it has not snowed here like that in, according one person on the local station, nearly 2 decades. It was a new thing, a site unexpected, yet longed for. And when it was seen, it was only then that I realized how much I missed it, needed it, and just how much it moved my heart.
You know, like when we realize God is there, as He has been all along, closer than our troubles.
I miss Him, and I need Him, and I believe He is near, and, to paraphrase Elijah, I believe He is "turning my heart back again."

Hey! We have a blog!

Yeah, its been a while. But in all fairness, a lot has happened in a month...or two.
*We had a week with 3 birthdays, Halloween, a ministry project on Northgate on Halloween (Costumed drunk people are funny), and a church worship service. I don't recommend this regularly.
*An early start to Christmas lights, as we got ripped off on Christmas last year due to moving in December and other things.
*A small incident involving a moose adorned with Christmas lights, and a human finger.
*Another small incident involving a car door and another human finger, same day.
*And I have had nothing to say.

Sooooo, food for thought. One other thing that happened was an historic election, in which many of our conservative friends concerned about socialism rising in the US had a minor meltdown. This is understandable, but the food for thought is this: If the Church had done a better job of caring for the poor, would the socialist programs we are now faced with ever have been needed?

What can the church do, you ask? Look at Rockdale, TX, where the major employer in town closed, creating vast unemployment. The Ministerial alliance there did not look to government for a bailout, they did what many churches would never do: Held a benefit for the unemployed workers to raise money for their families while they searched for employment.

I applaud these ministers for sharing the love of Christ by first meeting the needs of those nearest to them.

Big Weekend

So we decided to see how many things we could cram into one 3 day period. On Friday, I (Chad) took off for the day so we could host a table for the Gate at the Baptist Student Ministry. We were there for about 2 hours or so, and gave away a lot of goody bags (with scantrons, a popular thing around test time here). We met some fun people, and continued to build the buzz of 'the church in the bar' as one girl called us, after remembering us from Breakaway.
We left with little wiggle room to make it to the next event, Homecoming Parade in Mart, my hometown. Luckily ( said with THICK sarcasm) we made it just as the obscenely obnoxious train horn was let loose, repeatedly. I hate train horns on trains, and they are worse on purple golfcarts.
After that, we went to Mom's (or Gammana, as the girls call her. Its a combo of Gamma and Nana.) house for BBQ from my childhood church. Then there was the game, which was good for the seeing of some old friends, and the rare opportunity to spot a slight celebrity in the form of the local guy now starring on Friday Night Lights.
Saturday was my 10 year reunion. Kristin had worried she wouldn't know anyone, but soon found she had met almost half the people there, which was about half my class, or 20 ish of 40 ish. I loved seeing how everyone initially greeted everyone, then soon fell back to the groups they hung with High School. Its funny how people change, one guy was married with a kid, and I had thought just the night before how he might have been the guy knocking off the bank on the news the night before. Everyone was more grown up looking, yet still who they were back then.
Sunday was the Gate's second service at Harry's, and we gathered with the expectation of possibly less people than the first night. We were right, but not by much, and we were surprised to meet 3 new faces. One came with one of our regulars, the other two remembered us from Breakaway, a month before. They had to call friends who went clubbing to find us, as we neglected to put up an address for the bar. It was exciting to see that some things were really starting to get going, and we are hopeful for the next meeting on the 2 of November.

"Who are you voting for?"

Its on everyone's mind. Most people have an opinion, and its usually pretty strong. And it seems in the last few years, people of faith have increasingly been vocal about their view of politics. I think its great. And I think its terrible.

Its great because we are in a democracy and we have every right to speak out and vote for and support whoever we want. Recently, as people rallied to oppose- or support- the bailout, we saw a great picture of democracy at work. It also exposed how far from a true democracy we are when despite nearly half the nation opposed to it, many of our 'representatives' still pressed on with it. Aren't they supposed to listen? And kudos to those who did vote based on their constituents opinion, whether it was for or against. Christians, along withother Americans, spoke out, and were heard.

But its also terrible. Its terrible because it often seems to me that we are more concerned, or dare I say worried, about who will be president than about the cause of Christ. And we so vehemently support who we think should win, that we often feel a personal stake in it. When someone says they support the other guy, we have an immediate pause, 'How can they vote for________?' It works the other way. So many people assume that when they are talking to a Christian, they are talking to a Republican, and for a lost world that may not be Republicans, thats an immediate conversation ender. No chance to talk about Jesus there.

Now, I'm not saying don't be political. But maybe lets not frame everything by it. I remember when we used to frame things by the teachings of Jesus, not the policies of Washington. In the grand scheme of things, no matter who wins, the president will succeed at some things and fail at others. You will disagree with their stance sometimes, and support them at others. But whoever wins, I believe God has ALLOWED them to. Some will say we could end up a fascist state, or a socialist state, if we don't vote right. To that I say, "God has seen worse." The thing is, while this election is maybe the most important in our lifetime (at least since four years ago, when it was last said to be the most important of our lifetime), it is still a lesser thing when compared to the movement of God.

So if you have to choose between a political rally and serving your lost neighbor, I hope you choose to serve. If its money to the campaign or money to the missionary, I hope its the missionary. If its arguing with a person over politics or telling them of God's love, which one is of true eternal value?

Their campaigns may hold them as 'saviors' but they are just men. So when you ask me who I'm voting for, I probably won't tell you. It is a 'secret ballot' afterall.



Oh, and to the ministers who last week decided to endorse a candidate and violate their tax exempt status, please stop talking. You have ignored not only that tax law, you have ignored the command of God to respect your authority. The government didn't say to not speak of God ( a holy and Biblical reason to ignore the law), but your actions have opened the door for that option to someday be possible.

The heart of all this is that I feel we are not abiding by Matthew 6:25-34. God will take care of us, or He will take us. Trust me, as a recovering worrier, I need to hear that as much as anyone else these days.