I recently had coffee with a gentleman to discuss ministry stuff. Now if you know me, you know I'm kind of an animated person, and when I get large amounts of sugar, I tend to have problems toning down said animation.
I accidentally ordered an espresso.
I made it through the really great discussion, but near the end, my leg began to twitch, and I knew my self control was at an end. I got home to Kristin and proceeded to let out the pent up energy with a rapid stream of conversation.
Self Control is something we all struggle with. Some folks have a problem with food, shopping, saying things they shouldn't, etc. But the truth is, everyone one of is fighting a war within ourselves against fear, anger, lust, and greed on one side, and hope, love, and compassion on the other. The only way to win, is gain self control. We have to decide who gets to run our life- our flesh, or the Spirit. Our self control is tied to who we want to be our master. And unfortunately, its a never ending battle. I wish we could total victory over sin, but temptation will always arise, and we will always have to choose. Sometimes we will choose self control, many times we won't.
But praise be to God, that He is gracious, and forgiving, and He loves us in spite of us being ourselves.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Compassion
There was a time where I was the least compassionate person in the family. Kristin was always trusting people and felt bad for everyone. Leslie and Kenna will tear up any time they think someone is sad. Me, I just didn't have much mercy. I'd be upset over injustice enough to think about it a bit, but never do anything. And if someone had gotten into trouble for doing something wrong, well they deserved it.
A couple years ago, some I knew got caught in a pretty bad mistake. And everyone knew about it. And all of a sudden, I found myself feeling compassion. Sure, they were wrong, but their sin was no worse than any of mine- at least in God's eyes. I began to wonder how I would feel if my sins became so completely public- other than guilt and shame, would I feel judged, feel shunned, feel alone?
So I learned about compassion and mercy. I learned to feel for those who were wronged, hurt, or had gotten themselves into some mess by being stupid. We all have been there, whether or not we admit it. Compassion is taking that experience and using our own memories to motivate ourselves to help others. And compassion can be feeding the hungry, clothing the poor- it can even be confronting the fallen. We often forget compassion for the sinful and instead judge. But when a person- believer or not- is caught in a big mistake, that may be the time they need our compassion the most- if only we will offer it.
A couple years ago, some I knew got caught in a pretty bad mistake. And everyone knew about it. And all of a sudden, I found myself feeling compassion. Sure, they were wrong, but their sin was no worse than any of mine- at least in God's eyes. I began to wonder how I would feel if my sins became so completely public- other than guilt and shame, would I feel judged, feel shunned, feel alone?
So I learned about compassion and mercy. I learned to feel for those who were wronged, hurt, or had gotten themselves into some mess by being stupid. We all have been there, whether or not we admit it. Compassion is taking that experience and using our own memories to motivate ourselves to help others. And compassion can be feeding the hungry, clothing the poor- it can even be confronting the fallen. We often forget compassion for the sinful and instead judge. But when a person- believer or not- is caught in a big mistake, that may be the time they need our compassion the most- if only we will offer it.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Greed
When I was in High School, I had this plan. I would be rich, have a huge home, an SUV and a sports car, and would make so much money a year I could buy what I wanted. It sounded like the American Dream come true back then. Now I see it as greed.
I see greed in many of my actions- always desiring more money and never having 'enough.' I feel the pull to have the newest thing. Maybe that sounds like materialism to you, and I agree, but materialism is just a type of greed. I think its OK to have and want stuff, but when it controls us, and consumes our thoughts, then its greed. I believe greed and lust are very closely related in their 'never satisfied' mentality.
I am very glad our kids are not consumed with the greed of needing everything they see on TV, although they do ask for it occasionally. And Kenna points at everything and says "We have that!" even if we don't. But greed does show up, like right now, behind me I hear Kenna saying, "I had that first!" and Leslie responding "Mommy! Kenna is not sharing." Kids want stuff to be theirs, and so do we.
And I want to also challenge you to think about what it means to be a greedy church. Your church can spend millions on a building, but can't keep open a food pantry. Your church wants more people to come and join you, but you rarely hear the call for them to come to Christ. Greedy churches are churches that want to feed themselves, not serve the Kingdom.
I see greed in many of my actions- always desiring more money and never having 'enough.' I feel the pull to have the newest thing. Maybe that sounds like materialism to you, and I agree, but materialism is just a type of greed. I think its OK to have and want stuff, but when it controls us, and consumes our thoughts, then its greed. I believe greed and lust are very closely related in their 'never satisfied' mentality.
I am very glad our kids are not consumed with the greed of needing everything they see on TV, although they do ask for it occasionally. And Kenna points at everything and says "We have that!" even if we don't. But greed does show up, like right now, behind me I hear Kenna saying, "I had that first!" and Leslie responding "Mommy! Kenna is not sharing." Kids want stuff to be theirs, and so do we.
And I want to also challenge you to think about what it means to be a greedy church. Your church can spend millions on a building, but can't keep open a food pantry. Your church wants more people to come and join you, but you rarely hear the call for them to come to Christ. Greedy churches are churches that want to feed themselves, not serve the Kingdom.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Love/Lust
I believe the biggest difference between love and lust is the degree of difficulty.
Simply put, to lust is easy, to love is one of the most difficult things in the world.
Lust only sees the 'good' or the 'attractive,' and when things get difficult, the object of lust is discarded or moved on from. Love, however, sees and accepts all things (the 'whole love bears all things' from the Bible). It may motivate you to push the person to be better, but love doesn't leave or move on.
Love survives adversity, and sometimes, thrives because of it. I once did a wedding where I wished the bride and groom "sickness, poverty, and sadness" because it is in these testing instances that Love is tempered, and grown. The marital bond is tested, and if it is based on Love- the more enduring of the two- it will strengthen. Lust gets out.
The question the, for each of us, is will we work at love, or be lazy in lust?
Simply put, to lust is easy, to love is one of the most difficult things in the world.
Lust only sees the 'good' or the 'attractive,' and when things get difficult, the object of lust is discarded or moved on from. Love, however, sees and accepts all things (the 'whole love bears all things' from the Bible). It may motivate you to push the person to be better, but love doesn't leave or move on.
Love survives adversity, and sometimes, thrives because of it. I once did a wedding where I wished the bride and groom "sickness, poverty, and sadness" because it is in these testing instances that Love is tempered, and grown. The marital bond is tested, and if it is based on Love- the more enduring of the two- it will strengthen. Lust gets out.
The question the, for each of us, is will we work at love, or be lazy in lust?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Anger
We've noticed our girls have different angry reactions over the years. Leslie tends to default into screaming or crying. Kenna gets a "Hulk face" and sort grunts in an unnaturally high pitch. Different things set them off, too. Kenna gets set off by the slightest thing not going her way and Leslie has begun to be set off primarily by Kenna.
Like the girls, Kristin and I have different anger reactions and different triggers, and you probably do, too. Its really amazing when I think about the trivial things that make the girls scream or grunt, and then place them side by side with the trivial things that set us grown ups off and I realize that we are not really different than our kids. Selfishness begets anger- I, Kristin, Leslie or Kenna doesn't get what they want/gets their space or rights infringed on and we scream, grunt, pound on the steering wheel or yell.
Think about when you get angry, and I bet you get angry- 9 out of 10 times- over something that makes your life more difficult. Things like political parties, automated bank systems, taxes, kids, 'inconsiderate people,' technology, etc. In the moment our anger is justified, even righteous, but as time passes, we look in the mirror of reflection and see not a dignified adult fighting for righteousness, but instead see a preschooler throwing a tantrum.
There are things worth getting angry over- injustice, lies that lead people astray, the sin that hinders us, maybe taxes, etc. But in truth, our anger over these is, more often than not, passive. It doesn't merit a raised voice, let alone movement into action. Maybe we should be angry that people are being lead away from God, or held in bondage. Maybe we ought to be as angry and active about that as we are about bad drivers or bad leaders.
Maybe I'm talking to me.
Like the girls, Kristin and I have different anger reactions and different triggers, and you probably do, too. Its really amazing when I think about the trivial things that make the girls scream or grunt, and then place them side by side with the trivial things that set us grown ups off and I realize that we are not really different than our kids. Selfishness begets anger- I, Kristin, Leslie or Kenna doesn't get what they want/gets their space or rights infringed on and we scream, grunt, pound on the steering wheel or yell.
Think about when you get angry, and I bet you get angry- 9 out of 10 times- over something that makes your life more difficult. Things like political parties, automated bank systems, taxes, kids, 'inconsiderate people,' technology, etc. In the moment our anger is justified, even righteous, but as time passes, we look in the mirror of reflection and see not a dignified adult fighting for righteousness, but instead see a preschooler throwing a tantrum.
There are things worth getting angry over- injustice, lies that lead people astray, the sin that hinders us, maybe taxes, etc. But in truth, our anger over these is, more often than not, passive. It doesn't merit a raised voice, let alone movement into action. Maybe we should be angry that people are being lead away from God, or held in bondage. Maybe we ought to be as angry and active about that as we are about bad drivers or bad leaders.
Maybe I'm talking to me.
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