So after a day of dealing with a sick kid, the little one, I was frustrated. I tend to get kind of...negative when things are tough. I see the worst, expect more bad, act kinda pouty. You know, like any 4 year old would.
Kristin was on the phone, Les on the Computer, Kenna starting to feel better and watching her shows on TV, so I, out of boreddom, started doing dishes. A note here, I have found that doing dishes while listening to the I-Pod on its speakers makes it a more bearable experience. (Shhhh, don't tell Kristin)
So, Charlie Hall's "You are God" rolls onto the I-Pod. And I soak it in. And hit repeat. Again. Again. And what sticks the most is the line "He's closer than our troubles." I often claim to feel like God is distant when things are tough, yet if He is in us, He is in fact nearer than our troubles, even the ones we make worse by dwelling on them and getting heartsick over. I think He looks at us and shakes his head, not out of frustration, but out of sorrow. Sorrow that we have not looked to Him.
Which is the second revelatory verse in the song: "We are stunned with wide eyed wonder." I have been stunned by a sight before, as recently as this past week when College Station got covered in a couple inches of snow. The beauty was enormous, compounded by the fact that it has not snowed here like that in, according one person on the local station, nearly 2 decades. It was a new thing, a site unexpected, yet longed for. And when it was seen, it was only then that I realized how much I missed it, needed it, and just how much it moved my heart.
You know, like when we realize God is there, as He has been all along, closer than our troubles.
I miss Him, and I need Him, and I believe He is near, and, to paraphrase Elijah, I believe He is "turning my heart back again."
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