Standing on the Precipice

As I type, we are on the eve of the biggest night of our minstry lives, maybe more. At 7 p.m., Sunday, September 21, 2008, the Gate will go public. After a flurry of last minute 'advertising' (meaning we gave a lot of college students free stuff and a card) we are set to open the doors of a bar and have worship. Boy, is that an odd sentence.
There is excitement and hope, fear and uncertainty, prayer and preparation, and a hyper sensitive computer keyboard that keeps jumping my cursor around and seriously ticking me off. A last minute (literally, we met with him Friday, and he called back today during the Aggie 'game') worship leader has been added, and we are super excited that God has put a lot of things together in just the last 48 hours or so.
So what do we expect? We may have 20, we may have 200. God may show up and they love it, or He may not. But we have trusted and walked with Him this far, and we will walk a little further tomorrow. All we ask is that those of you reading this, walk a little with us in prayer.

Trials and Victory

So, I completely forgot to blog for over a month. Oops. Anyway, what's been going on with us? Well, first is my health. I, Kristin, have been sick sporadically since Memorial Day weekend back in May. On average it's happened once every 7-10 days. Without getting too graphic it's an icky sick you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. It completely wipes me out and I tend to lose about 4 pounds per day when it happens. I gain most of it back, but sometimes my stomach shrinks and it doesn't all come back. It's been funny to hear peoples' comments when I see someone I haven't seen in a while. "Kristin, you look great! How much weight have you lost and what are you doing to lose it?" Well, let's just say after having 2 kids I'm back down to what I weighed the day I got married, and slowly getting close to my high school weight. I don't recommend this diet. It's miserable and food, at times, seems to be the enemy. I've been going to doctors about it for a few months now, and am excited that I will be having and Endoscopy/Colonoscopy done this coming Monday. It's the first step in figuring out what is causing all of this craziness. I think I'll be able to handle it better when we can nail down what we're dealing with.

Another hard and very sad thing that has happened is my best friend (who I actually consider my sister) lost her husband on August 7th. He was 28 years old. They were married for four years and she is now a widow at 28. They did not have any children. Right now I don't feel the need or desire to share the details of what happened. Cyberspace is huge and it's a very personal matter. Please just pray for her and his family. It is and will continue to be a VERY difficult time.

I look back on 2008 and know this is the hardest year of my life. Not only have I had these health issues and the loss of an extended family member, but in January I also lost my dad to complications of a stem cell transplant that he had done because he was diagnosed with a very rare form of Leukemia. I also had minor surgery back in February to remove my Lymphnode because it swelled up to the size of a golf ball. I was also having headaches, back aches, loss of appetite and some other symptoms. Came to find out all of that was caused by "Cat Scratch Fever." (Yes, it's a real illness, and also a very catchy song. Ted Nugent was running through my head for weeks.) On top of all this, we are planting a church from scratch.

Just for the record...Satan is VERY real and there is no doubt in my mind that spiritual warfare is happening all around my family. I'm not sure why, but I know my God is a mighty warrior and He will WIN! God sees the big picture, and while right now I feel beaten down, weak, and weary...God will use all of this for His glory and His purpose. He NEVER promised the Christian life would be easy (like so many Christians tell people, which REALLY gets on my nerves), but He did promise He would never leave me. As long as I keep turning to Him in my cofussion, anger (yes, I've shaken my fist at God with one hand, but kept a tight hold of Him at the same time with the other), and fear, then I know He will see me through. I'm His creation and He loves me more than I can even understand. What a comfort it is that He is walking with me through this tough journey. He's pretty nifty like that. :o)

If its not one thing, its 17 others

I remember a church planter once telling me that church planting was the Marine Corps of Ministry- first in, face the tough stuff, and not everyone survives.
I never doubted that, but I never realized how spiritual the attacks can be. And sometimes, how physical they can be.
We were set to launch Sept. 7th, but due to Hurricane Gustav displacing some folks to Reed Arena here in College Station, Breakaway's ministry fair (where we were to do the bulk of our publicity) was bumped back a week. We followed suit.
And I was bit relieved, because we are dealing with an illness in the family that is rather time consuming for us all. This illness is recurring, and seems to hit when someone in the family has something to do, or the church takes a step forward. Close on the heels of the illness will come the spiritual attacks, the fears, the doubts, the temptations, and ultimately the hopelessness. Before God steps in and rescues us. Which He usually does.
There are times I cry out for something to give, for some sliver of hope. For some rest.
But there are spiritual beachheads to take, lost people in need of rescue, and others far worse off than us.
Take heart, He has overcome the world.