Conflict of Contentment

Greed is a theme of a lot of stories. But then, so is people who have it all discovering they miss the most important thing. For every "Wall Street" there is "A Christmas Carol."

The issue is contentment. Leslie and Kenna both (though its more Leslie) really seem to struggle with this when it comes to food. They may eat a full meal, but within five minutes, they want a snack. Then five minutes later, snack. And so on. Yes, I realize this teaching them horrible eating habits. And I'm not even going to get into the discussion about how if they see a toy ad they want it.

But thats natural for kids- to want more. And in some ways, I think thats healthy, as they are wanting to know more and explore more of their world and they desire stuff as a way of feedinf that.

Unfortunately, most people always struggle with contentment. I collect action figures, and as new sets of figures arrive every few months, I feel a strong desire to collect them. Alas, finances become an issue.

Kristin and I have been staring at a 20 x 25 foot mud pit where our back patio area is to be for more than a year, but the funds to complete the project aren't there. Everytime we clean the kitchen floor, our dog Missy (and I) track mud over the sparkly floor.

I know of people with money to do whatever they want, yet they never seem happy. Always looking over their shoulder lest it all go away. Or maybe hiding in their stuff to avoid getting close to other people unless its on their terms.

The conflict for all these is contentment. Paul says to be content whether in plenty or want, well fed or hungry. Rather than looking at what we don't have, we should be thankful for what we do have. So the next time I find myself stopping at another random Wal-Mart or Target to find the elusive Aquaman figure, I'll try to remember the super cool Green Lantern I have at home and be thankful.

Better yet, I'll just be thankful to have a home, and one filled with a wonderful family. Some of whom never seem to get enough to eat.

Conflicts of Faith

I confess, I love the movie Signs. At the heart of this ground level alien invasion movie is the story of a man ( a minister, no less) at the heart of a conflict of faith. Years before, his wife dies in a horrific accident, and her last words to him are as nonsensical to the minister as her death is, so he stops having faith. Even when the aliens are coming, and the kids want to pray, he balks.

It's only when he realizes that his wife's last words were not nonsensical but prophetic for the personal battle he faces in his own home against the aliens that faith begins to bud.

Too often, we, and I mean I, fail to see the bigger picture. Once, Kenna was very sick with some nasty bug that cause much expellation of stomach contents. Having dealth with this type thing with Leslie years before, I knew how bad this could get. So I knelt to pray in front of Kenna in her bouncer and as I said 'Amen' she vomitted on me. It was hard to ahve faith then. (But it is terribly funny now, I must admit.)

I think we more often fight the conflict of faith than any other conflict, but we admit that we do it far less than any other conflict. We think to struggle with believing God is shameful, we must always trust and never falter. Yet, we forget that Jesus himself struggled the night before the Cross, asking the Father if there was any other way.

Now, we struggle to have faith when the job sucks, the kids are sick, the checks don't cover the bills, our team/candidate/ballot item lost, or when we can't seem to kick that bad habit or action. We wonder if God is holding out, or testing us, and we sooner or later stop asking God to do anything- yet wonder why He never seems to show up.

I don't expect any aliens to attack us anytime soon, thus inspiring a return to faith for the mass of people. So, instead, let's just start with asking God to reveal something small, heal a tiny hurt, or break us of one tiny habit. But let us ask AND believe, as it says in James 1, otherwise, we should never expect to recieve anything from God.

Time Takes Its Toll

The man shuffled in, stooped and head down cast, their eyes weary and red. He sits gingerly yet with a bit of collapse into his seat, his breathing quickened from the little jaunt from the back of the room to his seat. The music starts, and he groans to his feet, mumbling well known words, eager for the sermon, because, let's be honest, this up and down stuff wears him out. He is snoring five minutes in, and only the elbow of his adoring, frustrated and equally tired wife will wake him. One more song and he can escape, again, very slowly and not with any excitement- the optimism of his youth is dead and gone.

Did you notice the man was just in his late twenties?

Or did you picture the typical old church man? The thing is, time takes its toll on all of us. I've known a nearly hundred year old lady who was full of joy and life and eagerness. But I've known teens that were just so worn out on faith. Time doesn't have to be in years, it can drain us in days or hours just as well.

Conflict comes and its how we handle it that ages or de-ages us. Too many of us are old beyond our years- Methuselahs in the bodies of Davids. I'm probably a good twenty years older than I look because I've for years now let conflict get the better of me. I'm often weary, ready for a break, looking to just vegetate a bit.

But I don't want to write a story that plays out like the opening vignette. I want to be the old man who the kids can't keep up with. I want to know more victory than stalemate. (Lets be honest, its the stalemates that kill us, not the defeats- defeats we regroup from, stalemates where we tread water offer no rest.)

Jesus says that the weary should come to Him, and James says we should believe and not doubt. So do we really believe that if we go to Him, He take up up our burdens?

Conflict

We remember stories for lots of reasons. Characters, locations, dialogue. But truth be told, even the most interesting of these would soon be forgotten were it not for the conflict that drives the story. Even innocuous stories like your average sitcom- ie Friends- has conflict injected to force the characters to grow and change, or make us laugh. Ross and Rachel can't seem to make it work for 10 years, Jack and Locke are locked in a faith vs science conflict, the coaches in We Are Marshall face the uphill battle of building a team from the ashes of tragedy, The Grapes of Wrath is filled to brim with conflict after conflict for the destitute family.

Our lives are not unlike stories here, either. Our conflicts are very real, struggling to make relationships work, arguments with our philosophical opposites, overcoming loss and failure, and a multitude of other less than enjoyable endeavors we engage in because we need to survive.

There are times I wish my conflict were with a monster or a supervillain or a massive storm/natural disaster. It would be far easier to drive a stake in the heart of a Dracula than to face an argument with one I love. To face certain death in the epicenter of an earthquake would be far preferable to the possibility of a very public failure. And there are definitely times I'd rather run into the Joker than one of my kids in a temper-tantrum mood.

How do we survive conflict? We press on. Jesus overcame this world, and He is with us, in us. He has given or will give us what we need to face every conflict- save for the one that ultimately takes us home to Him. Moreover, we are made to endure conflict to mature us, complete us and fulfill us. Conflict makes you a better you. Faramir, when in possession of the Conflict inducing ring of power, asks if this is "A chance for Faramire to prove his quality?"

So when that Twister is bearing down on you, or that Wicked Witch is circling your skies, or the deadline is ticking closer, rise up and face it as a chance to prove your quality.

Pick Your Favorite Character

I admit, I'm a sucker for the totally goofy Facebook personality quizzes about which Friends or Lost or NCIS character are you. I think deep down its sort of like wanting to be a cooler, better version of yourself. And if we're really honest, when we watch movies or read books, there are certain characters we identify with more closely, we see a bit of ourselves in them.

For years, I saw myself as either Chandler or Ross from Friends. Chandler was the funny one, Ross the lovesick one (Ross was more the High School me). On Lost, I used to want to be like Jack, no Locke, no definitely not Locke, wait...Ok, lately its Sawyer or even Hurley as they ahve each evolved. And while I would never want to be like him, Ben and I share a few less than savory character traits.

And thats really it when it comes to characters we love and love to hate, we see glimpses of ourselves. When you plop down in front of the TV, or grab a favorite book, which character is your long lost twin? Who do you most want to be like?

Biblically speaking, there is One we are to imitate. Paul tells us to imitate him, as he imitates Christ. We should then be loving and compassionate, yet strong and focused.

I think its OK to look at these characters as possessing traits we wish we had. If the Losties can overcome Others and Smoke Monsters, we can take that bad boss. If Frodo can bear a heavy burden, we can deal with the weight of our responsibilities.

As for me, I'm looking for a character to inspire me to be a better husband and father, a stronger leader, and a more hopeful person. What about you?

Writing Your Character

Defining who you are, becoming independent is an important part of life. Kenna, our three year old is doing that alot, just like her sister Leslie did a couple years ago. She gets frustrated when you try to help her with things, and has taken to walking around with a comb or brush and brushing her hair...all day.

Leslie developed her character as the more compliant child, eager to please, and right now, Kenna is becoming the strong willed character. It takes patience as a parent to watch with some excitement and some fear as the kids grow. Will they be nice people, good people, will they be a joy to be around or will they be human?

Character doesn't stop developing when you hit grade school, though. The college students and young adults we know are still developing their character, just like we are and just like our parents are. Each new set of friends, or each life event forces us to redefine our character. Deaths make us stronger. Betrayals can make us more cynical. New opportunities make us hopeful. We learn to laugh so we don't cry, we learn to be patient when the world is speeding by, we learn to fight for the things that matter.

I once took a spiritual gifts test. OK< I've taken lots. Yeah, they are probably bogus, just like regular personality tests where you make it say what you want. This particular test said that my lowest gift was mercy. Kristin wholeheartedly agreed with it at the time because while she was trusting, I trusted no one. She would feel sorry for someone who failed, I wanted them sent away. But as my character has developed, I've grown merciful. Some things have happened in my life to make me see my fellow man as a flawed human, in need of redemption and rescue from themselves. Everyone sins, screws up, and fails- repeatedly. When God sees us, He sees not our shortcomings, but who He made us to be, and who He is making us to be.

Thats how we develop our character, slowly and over time. We do this so as to not be one note characters, easily pidgeonholed as one type or another. Our characters should be contradictions: Sinner and Saint, trustworthy liars, angry peaceniks, rescued captives. One day the contradictions will be gone, but until then we are journeying toward our Epilogue, hopefully our "Well done, Good and Faithful Servant."

And just maybe, we will excite our Father in who we are becoming just as our daughters excite us in who they are becoming.

Waking Dreams

There is a song by Owl City that I hate, largely because of the instrumentals and seemingly nonsensical lyrics about fireflies. However, the overall message is that life is better in dreams. With this, I agree.

I've noticed that I tend to be more optimistic, more energetic and generally happier when I'm dreaming, or thinking and seeking vision. The excitement when we were planning the early stages of the Gate was palpable. Even in the midst of other trying times occuring simultaneously, I was happy. Recently, I've begun writing and planning more with the Gate, dreaming of opportunities, plotting out messages, and I've begun pursuing more writing opportunities in general. And things have been better.

I think about people I've known who stopped dreaming at some point, just resigned themselves to life as it was, and that it was always to be that way. They were walking dead. And they tended to not just be zombie-like, they tended to be vampiric as well, sucking the life out the dreams of others. I was never angry at them, but I did feel sorrow for them. Looking back, there have been times where I was a vampiric zombie myself. When we are like this, we are not the life of the party.

So what do we do to wake in dreams? Pursue what we love and let no one dissuade us. Have an open mind. Think big and don't settle. Stop letting other people and situations write your story- give the pen only to you and God (and pretty much let God do it all).

And while we're dreaming, someone please dream up a better song than Fireflies to get stuck in my head.