What Really Matters

It's hard to see the forest for the trees, the light for the darkness, or the hope for the pessimism.

Things get muddled. Things get messy. It's just life. And sometimes, life sucks.

Yeah, I know "pastors" shouldn't say that, but "pastors" are people. And we say "sucks" just like Paul said "garbage" in Philippians 3:8 (hint, the word he used was closer to the other "s" word than we might be comfortable with than it was trash), because life is messy, and we get hurt, too.

And just like that- I've lost my sight of what I needed to talk about.

See how easy it is? We let our minds run rampant and we see all the junk we need to look past, and only see that. We see our problems, our enemies, our junk- and we can't see what we need to to live.

We (read: I) spend a good portion of my life looking at what I don't have or what I wish I had. I'm not just talking about that Black Camaro I'd love, I'm talking jobs I wish I had, money I wish I had, time I wish I had, friends who I wish were closer geographically, friends I wish were closer generally. It makes one miserable and lends often to the "Life sucks" bumper sticker theology i struggle with of late.

And it's stupid because it's not what really matters.

So, what does matter? What makes this life joyous, fulfilling- life giving? I'm no Curly from City Slickers, so I can't give you the "Just One Thing" speech as I squint into the sun under my dirty cowboy hat with a cigarette perched perilously from my lips. Mostly because I think there is more than just ONE thing- but also because cigarette smoke makes me choke.

I do agree that it's what you have to figure out for yourself. For me, I could give the church answer that for me it's Jesus- but that would be slightly dishonest. I love Jesus, and He does matter the most to me, but in my devotion to Him I've come to see the other things that matter- as a part of my relationship to Him.

My wife matters because I love spending time with her. She is my balance when I tilt too far, my voice of hope when my mind gets too dreary. She loves me, and is truly a helpmate for me. She hurts when I hurt, laughs when I laugh and celebrates when I see victory. She reminds me of how Christ loves and forgives when we don't deserve. She is gracious and compassionate, and it rubs off on me.

My kids matter in ways that are hard to express. Leslie and Kenna bring such joy to my life, and I long for good, quality time with them (and their mother). Not just time spent with them, but time spent loving on them, cheering them on in gymnastics or the little art project they decided to do. Time spent listening to their giggles, and their surprisingly sophisticated humor. Time spent watching Phineas and Ferb. They give me but a glimpse of what God must feel when He looks at us- Hope and joy, mixed when anticipation of what will come.

The rest of my family matters to me- especially my mother and mother-in-law. They are two ladies who show so much strength and resilience, they inspire me. Their insight and wisdom often guides me, even when they don't know it.

Sunsets matter, because they are beauty before the dark. Reminders of glory we've not yet known fully.

Good music matters. Doesn't matter if it is Crowder or Kansas, a hymn or a rock anthem. If it speaks to you, it makes a difference.

Good stories matter because they often hide a bit of deeper Truth. Movies or books, TV Shows or Comic Books take us another place, yet often point us to something God is saying. At least, they do for me.

Moments of peace matter more than I can relate. They are too fleeting, and too few, but those seconds of respite are glimpses of hope.

When life sucks, these are the things I must remind myself to think of. And when I think of them, I must also remember that they are all gifts of God. God is the Father of pleasure, and I fine pleasure in the things that matter. As James 1:17 says:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

So ultimately all things things matter. Not in some divided loyalty kind of way, but in a "these things matter because God placed them in my life." When I give my heart to Him, I am able to enjoy these things all the more.

And the forests of fears, the darkness of doubt, and the plumes of pessimism disappear in light of Him who matters most.

Slow Waker

I've noticed I take a long time to wake up.

In High School, I'd roll out of bed, sit on the couch, then lay on the couch, take a bit of breakfast, doze, repeat for a while, then slowly get ready. The process lasted about an hour.

Now that I'm an adult, it's much the same. Except, no breakfast and I hit the snooze for an hour, then turn on the TV and watch the morning news for a bit before getting ready.

I've also noticed there is a spiritual parallel with me.

The alarm goes off- warning me of a behavior or thought pattern that is not so healthy- and I acknowledge it, hit the snooze and go back to what I was doing. It's only when I finally catch a glimpse of just how bad - or how good the opportunity is, it goes both ways- that I finally begin to wake up. It's like when you see the clock and realize you've hit the snooze seven times, not five.

In my life, I have seasons of real spiritual growth, like most of us do. It is unfettered, unhindered and it is awesome. But there comes an end to that, for a myriad of reasons. Then enters the spiritual drought- the sleep- that in some ways serves to give rest from dogged pursuit of God's work. The sleep is not always a bad thing, if it is more of sabbatical and less of a hedonistic (in a bad way) vacation. Either way, you will need to wake up. God will call you to something or away from something as your alarm.

And if you are like me in my sleep and spiritual patterns, you will hit the snooze. And you will miss it.

There are practical ways to wake up fast from actual slumber- caffeine, cold stone floors, cold showers, true love's kiss. So, is there a practical way to wake from spiritual slumber?

I think there are several, but I have a 50-50 success rate at making/letting any of them work. So take me as I am.

1. Caffeine- If God is calling you to something, the best thing to jump headlong into it. Like good caffeine can jolt you awake, doing what God called you to do, made you to do- it can brighten you right up. Start drinking in the stuff God is giving you. Read the Bible passages that pertain to your perceived calling and pray for opportunities and guidance. Look for inspiration and ideas and opportunities everywhere. And go. Do it. The downside is that sometimes it is not easy to do- sometimes they are out of coffee. You have to jump through hoops to get to the calling, or you have to suffer through day jobs and struggles- wait for the pot of coffee to brew. This will require patience and diligence to not fall back asleep. But it will be worth it.

2. Cold Stone Floors- There is something about swinging your feet out of a warm, cozy bed and touching ice cold floors to tell you to watch your step. There are other variations of the 'cold stone floor,' generally involving something the pet did over night, or storms. They all serve the same purpose: a warning to wake up and watch out. Your path is dangerous. You should heed it- and if it's the pet accident variety, clean it up.

3. Cold Showers- If the cold floors didn't do it, then the shower will. Suddenly you wake to see your sin. It is stark, naked and right there. You cannot deny it and the damage the sinful sleep you've been in has done to you and others. You are motivated to get clean and do it fast- cold showers are unpleasant, but effective. But you must channel this repentant spirit into something (caffeine) or the remembrance of the unpleasant waking will fade and you will only remember the blissful ignorance of sleep.

4. True Love's Kiss- Sometimes all it takes to wake us from slumber is a gentle kiss from the one we love. It's the best way to wake up. When God offers you a gift, or a blessing, or a kindness, you open your eyes to see His love and grace staring at you. You are drawn out of the sleep and into His arms and worship is sprung forth. While the other methods require you to act, this one is the best because it is all about you just reacting to God. It's about His goodness and His grace.

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

Isaiah 60:1

Hopeless Ramblings

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
All at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
-"Basket Case" by Green Day

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
--Proverbs 13:12

I am not Job.

I was not a man worthy of praise for my uprightness. I certainly wouldn't draw the attention of Satan for my ability to avoid sin. I've not lost everything and everyone I love in a flash. I'm not covered in sores. My wife is not telling me to curse God and die- actually, she is a glimmer of hope in my life.

But those glimmers of hope are few and far between lately. I don't face Job-like catastrophes just yet. My job is on the line, my kids got sick and the medicine is ridiculously expensive, my computer crashed and we lost all important documents and pictures of the last two years, and the tendinitis in my elbow is getting pretty painful.

These things seem small to you, no doubt. But they don't to me. They are piling up, and despite my hopes and prayers- there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

I guess I should also point out that in the midst of all this, I've been looking for God. I've been asking Him for help, for direction, for light- but all that happens is one more thing to weigh me down.

I don't want you to quote me scripture, or give me some platitude about how "things will turn out." I don't know that I can believe that. Things have always turned out before- but that is no guarantee now. Things didn't turn out for John the Baptist when he was arrested and put before Herod. Why do we assume that "things will turn out" when many of the people of the Bible ended up on the total opposite of "OK?"

So, what if I lose my job and there isn't another one to fill its place? What if, on the limited budget that creates, we can't pay bills, or the car breaks down or some major illness hits? What if the way out I've been praying for never comes?

How can I have faith when it seems God is silent?

I remember once in college, shortly after my Dad passed away, I was at a small group leaders meeting with twenty or so other college students. Something was said and I responded to it. One of the other leaders, Michael- who I had always seen as a great example of faith and conviction and desire for God- looked at me and said, "You have such faith."

What happened?

I served in churches where "Christians" ate each other alive at the drop of the hat. I've seen fervent prayer for healing or rescue go seemingly unanswered. I've watched as truly faithful people struggle while others seem to have it easy with seemingly little dependence on faith. I've seen hollow believers ascend to leadership because of who they knew, while those whose hearts are true wallow in the depths of anonymity.

Through all of that, I've had faith. It has been tested, it has been tried, it has ebbed and flowed- as it is even now.

And I recognize that faith is not a constant- sometimes we have it and sometimes we don't. Right now, my faith is low. Perhaps next week it will rise, perhaps after lunch, perhaps not for a long while. My faith is low, because my hope it exhausted.

Just last week, I came across a quote from Hurley on the show Lost:

Look, I don't know about you, but things have really sucked for me lately, and I could really use a victory. So let's get one, dude! Let's get this car started. Let's look death in the face and say: 'Whatever, man!'"

I'm between the first and second sentences there right now. I need a victory. I need God to show up. I need my faith and what little hope I have to be validated.

See, it would be easy for me to take what I'm feeling and say, "Forget you, God- you've left me and don't seem to care. Your expectations and rules are too much for me, so I'm gone." Believe me, this is tempting.

But I can't.

And I can't really explain why I can't. Perhaps it's in the fact that I know God is real. And if I know and believe that God is real, then I must recognize what He said and has done in the past for me and all people is real.

Perhaps it's the fact that I don't know how to not trust in God, that's all I've ever known.

Or maybe, it's the fact that if I let go of the hope I have in God, then I really have nothing left to hope in.

And if that's the case, then the hope I now have is that I am right where God wants me: lowly and contrite, broken and malleable. Available to Him. Useful to Him.

Wholly His.

And it is there that I will get to the second sentence in Hurley's quote- that I will look death, or failure, or unemployment, or stagnation in the face and say "Whatever, man!"

And He will be the only victory I want or need.

Viral Pandemic

It's every copywriter's dream to create an ad that goes viral. That their design is iconic, a beacon, a siren's call to customers of all shapes and sizes is the hope.

I was one of those kids who could spot the Golden Arches a mile (or ten, if my parents are to be believed) away. It was a design and an ad that was viral to the extreme- this ploy worked on countless young eyes and minds. But there was another ad that always caught my eye, and stuck with me for all these years. And it was in no way intended for pre-pubescent eyes to be caught up in:

There was something about the image of the world covered in paint (it may have been the red, making it look like blood, that got me) that grabbed my attention and would not let it go. It spoke a simple message: Cover the Earth. Dig deeper and what it said was that Sherwin Williams paint should be used to paint everything- it's that good. Every painted thing you see should be colored in the hues of Sherwin Williams. That was the company goal, that was the hope they strove toward.

Jesus tells us to "Cover the Earth" as well. We don't use the paint brush, but we do spread His message over the whole planet. But I gotta say, it was ambitious to the point of absurdity for Sherwin Williams to say it could "Cover the Earth" with it's paint- it's downright crazy for us to say we Christians can "Cover the Earth" with the message of Christ. But then:

If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.

-2 Corinthians 5:13

Still, it's crazy, and daunting. I cannot in anyway spread Jesus message over the whole earth by myself. Even with Facebook, and Twitter, and blogs, and the internet at large- it's not possible. And I don't feel called to live in Africa or China or Russia- this does not make me less of a Christian. Though, sometimes, I feel that's the impression people get from Christian leaders. Even if I had the money, I could never "Cover the Earth" as one person. But I can "Cover my World."

Earth is the planet I live on. But it is not my world. My world is the area I exist in. My family, my work, my street, my online presence, the people I encounter from day to day in passing- this is my world. This is who I can reach, who I can "Cover." If I feel that I must reach all 7 billion-ish people, I'm being crazy- and a little bit bloated with my own self-importance. But I can reach the dozen or so neighbors around me, my church, the people I work with, the workers at the stores I frequent and the people who read what I blurt out online.

That's doable.

That's my mission field.

Perhaps, it can be yours. Look around you: see the people you invest in, the things you love, the hobbies you spend time in, the things that make you come alive. This is your world. This is the world Christ is calling you to share Him with. Maybe you'll do it down the street, or maybe half a world away. No matter what, live full out for Christ in the place you are.

It's your world.

Cover it.