Art in Me

I lack art in my life.

Now, I'm not an art lover- or an artist in the professional sense- but there are times when an image catches my eye, or a thought snags hold of my consciousness, and I see something deeper there. I'm not an artist with paints or sculptures, and while I like taking somewhat artistic pictures, its not really a deep heart kind of art. Despite the pitiful rhyming in that last sentence, I feel the art I make is with words. Writing and speaking. I like the idea of having a concept enter my mind and finding a way to convey it to others in an understandable and beautiful way.

That's really what art is- having a notion planted in one's mind and desperately trying to share with the world this thing that has come to consume their lives- even if the time of consumption is for a few minutes while they bang out a message. I think good art comes from a sort of compulsion or need to pour out that which is inside of you. And which you often don't fully understand even as you create it.

When I think about it that way, I realize that when I am closest to God is when I am seeing the art in things. The complexities of a person, the beauty in sunsets or architecture, or the depth of a story all create art in me that cries to escape. I seek God, asking why I've seen this thing, experienced this wonder, and then seek to share with others how it has affected me.

Lately, I've not had my art-eyes on. I've felt rather bland in life, distant even. I'm not sure how it happens, but there is a melancholy that sets in from time to time. It saps my zest for life- for real, good life that is- and replaces it will hollow pursuits. Time wasters at best, God nullifying sin at worst. Some artists do their best work in their melancholy- but for me it is the hope of restoration that produces good in me.

And I'm not just talking about creating art like paintings or writings, I believe we are living art, the way we live with each other, the way we love and care for one another, and the way we attempt to share the love of the One who first loved us is our art- regardless of our skill with a brush or pen. So, when my art eyes are off, it's not just my writing that suffers- it is the life I live.

So often, I am aware of the beauty around me, but I don't see it. More often, I see the wonder of God's work around me, but I don't understand it. Usually, I am caught in this weird in-between place where I am captivated by the temporary stuff I see now- which is beautiful- and at the same time hungry for something more, something deeper and more eternal. This is God's fault.

I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end
Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

The reason why all art doesn't appeal to all people is that some people can't see a Picasso the way Picasso intended them to see it. Yep, I'm one of those people. We can appreciate the beauty of the colors, and we can sense there is something he's trying to convey, but we grow frustrated and dismiss it because we can't understand it. God made everything beautiful in its time, yet somewhere deep in our hearts is a longing for more. A feeling that this thing so captivating is seriously less than what we desire. On the other side, we spend our days at work and struggling to make ends meet, and stay healthy, and we know that that Jesus came to give us more. We long to live a life that matters, to TRULY make a difference.

And so we are artists, all of us. God places in us this idea of eternity that we don't understand, yet we feel compelled to share this thing inside of us with others. Others we feel won't understand us, or will put down the "art" we show them. And then there is the beauty of the "Now" things (and here, I'm talking about the good things that God has made beautiful). How can our "art" compete with that?

We are stuck between here and eternity. Our choice is to be frustrated with that reality, which will ultimately lead us to give in to the lesser things that are not beauty by God because they are easier- Or we can make "art." Not for the approval of others, not even really for our own validation. No, we make "art," pouring out the hard-to-understand eternity God placed in our hearts to the best of our ability. And yes, some will see our "art" as jumbled shapes and jibber-jabber, just like some people see Picasso's art, and not get it. But there will be others who get their own glimpse of the eternity God placed in their heart, and they will seek more of it.

We do this to glorify God.

For a while now, I've not glorified God with my life. I've stopped seeing the art of eternity, and settled for the muted tones of this world. Occasionally, art comes out of my life- that just shows the power of the gift God has given us.

But just the other day, I was walking down the street, and I saw an old Courthouse. In the light, the old bricks and years of wear and tear were peeled back, and I could see something deeper to it. I wished I had a camera to try to capture that moment of deeper beauty.

And God tapped me on the shoulder and said, simply, "This is you." Deep within me, under the layers of sloth and sin, eternity is bubbling up. I may not understand what it all means, but I must share Him with you. And I must put down the lesser tools of self-gratification and take up the tools of reavealing God.

Let's make art.