Fear of and Friendship with God

There was a time when batting averages meant more to me than Batman.

In my pre-teen years, I was a baseball fan. Specifically the St. Louis Cardinals, largely because my Mom's side of the family lived in St. Louis and I had been to their games. And at the very top of the list of favorite baseball players was Ozzie Smith. In the 80's and early 90's he dominated the Golden Glove competitions. He was an acrobat on the field, making amazing catches and plays on a daily basis. And at every game, he would come onto the field for introductions by doing a flip. I tried to emulate this in my baseball days by doing a handspring off the field if we won.

One day, we were in St. Louis visiting with family and we went to his restaurant- Ozzies's. While we were ordering, I happened to look up, and through the back door walked my idol- Ozzie Smith himself. Clearly, he didn't want a lot of attention, and it looked like he was there on business, but one of my family members managed to get me an audience with him. So, there I stood, about to meet the epitome of baseball in my life- and I was terrified. Excited, overwhelmed, but most definitely terrified. I didn't want to offend him, or put him out, I didn't want to do anything to cause him to be angry at me. I had always heard he was a nice guy, but he was so famous, so important, what right had I to ask for his attention. But I did, and managed an autograph as well, but not before being so in shock that I forgot my name. I still have that autograph, and a picture with my childhood hero, (and a pilfered menu from the restaurant) framed in my home.

I would imagine the feeling I had that day was not unlike the feeling the Hebrews had at Mt. Sinai, only they were justified in fearing the wrath of God being unleashed. They stood at the feet of a mountain that was, for the moment, home to their God. They had seen his exploits, his displays of power, and they had seen the results: lots of dead people. So they feared this powerful God. Hebrews 12:18-21 says it this way:

" You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”

We call this the Old Testament God. He is full of wrath and fire and judgment and war. He scares us. So we like to think nothing of Him. He is a historical God, and God has changed. He is now much more approachable, much nicer. Hebrews 12: 22-24 even gives that impression on first glance:

But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

Our God is happy now. He is gentle and sweet, he does not hold us under the threat of death. Does He?

It seems we believe that God changed. That He softened as He grew older. But the Bible says God doesn't change, that He is the "same yesterday, today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) And then we read the rest of that passage in Hebrews 12:25-29, and we see that in fact, God has not changed:

See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”

Like the awe and reverence I felt that day with Ozzie Smith are we to worship God. Still not flippantly, still not with empty promises, but now, we are friends- respectful friends, because we are definitely the lesser in the friendship. So if God didn't change, and He is still that wrathful, passionate, jealous God, why are we able to approach Him without that same fear of death?

Because God changed the people He has chosen.

I'm not saying He changed the chosen from the Jews to the Christians- He changed those who chose Him. We are different from the Hebrews at Sinai, from Uzza when he touched the Ark of the Covenant improperly, different even from David who made choices that lead to tragedies and plagues. They all still sought God with their own heart, some better than others. But we who choose God do not seek Him with our own heart.

We seek Him with a new heart.

Jeremiah 24:7 has God saying "I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. " The Old Testament people had hearts incapable of knowing God intimately, there was a separation that could not be bridged, no matter how many sacrifices and offerings they made. There was a disconnect from God. He was perfect, and they were not, so they could not be near to Him. This prophecy of Jeremiah was fulfilled through Jesus, when we who came to Jesus were given a new heart- that we may know God. While we are not yet perfect, God has made the way we can worship Him perfect. WE still mess it up, but the opportunity to worship God in perfect union with Him is there. We can approach God, because He has made it possible.

So today, the God we worship is still the God of the Old Testament. He is still jealous, still wrathful, still powerful in battle- still a warrior (Exodus 15:3). But He is also compassionate, gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love (Exodus 34:6), just like He always has been. I wish we approached Him in worship, prayer and everyday life with a bit of a mix: part reverence, awe and fear, and part as friends. He is our friend who loves us and forgives us, but He is also our friend who can wipe us from existence and holds our eternity in His grasp.

Ozzie Smith was a nice guy, he was kind and patient with me. But his presence still made me tremble with a bit of fear. Because he mattered so much to me as a pre-teen I wanted- no, I needed- to be right in his presence. I wanted to be worthy of meeting him and getting his autograph, and I wanted it so bad that I was in awe of him.

Does God matter that much to us, that we want so badly to be worthy of His gift that we quake before Him?