I admit, I'm a sucker for the totally goofy Facebook personality quizzes about which Friends or Lost or NCIS character are you. I think deep down its sort of like wanting to be a cooler, better version of yourself. And if we're really honest, when we watch movies or read books, there are certain characters we identify with more closely, we see a bit of ourselves in them.
For years, I saw myself as either Chandler or Ross from Friends. Chandler was the funny one, Ross the lovesick one (Ross was more the High School me). On Lost, I used to want to be like Jack, no Locke, no definitely not Locke, wait...Ok, lately its Sawyer or even Hurley as they ahve each evolved. And while I would never want to be like him, Ben and I share a few less than savory character traits.
And thats really it when it comes to characters we love and love to hate, we see glimpses of ourselves. When you plop down in front of the TV, or grab a favorite book, which character is your long lost twin? Who do you most want to be like?
Biblically speaking, there is One we are to imitate. Paul tells us to imitate him, as he imitates Christ. We should then be loving and compassionate, yet strong and focused.
I think its OK to look at these characters as possessing traits we wish we had. If the Losties can overcome Others and Smoke Monsters, we can take that bad boss. If Frodo can bear a heavy burden, we can deal with the weight of our responsibilities.
As for me, I'm looking for a character to inspire me to be a better husband and father, a stronger leader, and a more hopeful person. What about you?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Writing Your Character
Defining who you are, becoming independent is an important part of life. Kenna, our three year old is doing that alot, just like her sister Leslie did a couple years ago. She gets frustrated when you try to help her with things, and has taken to walking around with a comb or brush and brushing her hair...all day.
Leslie developed her character as the more compliant child, eager to please, and right now, Kenna is becoming the strong willed character. It takes patience as a parent to watch with some excitement and some fear as the kids grow. Will they be nice people, good people, will they be a joy to be around or will they be human?
Character doesn't stop developing when you hit grade school, though. The college students and young adults we know are still developing their character, just like we are and just like our parents are. Each new set of friends, or each life event forces us to redefine our character. Deaths make us stronger. Betrayals can make us more cynical. New opportunities make us hopeful. We learn to laugh so we don't cry, we learn to be patient when the world is speeding by, we learn to fight for the things that matter.
I once took a spiritual gifts test. OK< I've taken lots. Yeah, they are probably bogus, just like regular personality tests where you make it say what you want. This particular test said that my lowest gift was mercy. Kristin wholeheartedly agreed with it at the time because while she was trusting, I trusted no one. She would feel sorry for someone who failed, I wanted them sent away. But as my character has developed, I've grown merciful. Some things have happened in my life to make me see my fellow man as a flawed human, in need of redemption and rescue from themselves. Everyone sins, screws up, and fails- repeatedly. When God sees us, He sees not our shortcomings, but who He made us to be, and who He is making us to be.
Thats how we develop our character, slowly and over time. We do this so as to not be one note characters, easily pidgeonholed as one type or another. Our characters should be contradictions: Sinner and Saint, trustworthy liars, angry peaceniks, rescued captives. One day the contradictions will be gone, but until then we are journeying toward our Epilogue, hopefully our "Well done, Good and Faithful Servant."
And just maybe, we will excite our Father in who we are becoming just as our daughters excite us in who they are becoming.
Leslie developed her character as the more compliant child, eager to please, and right now, Kenna is becoming the strong willed character. It takes patience as a parent to watch with some excitement and some fear as the kids grow. Will they be nice people, good people, will they be a joy to be around or will they be human?
Character doesn't stop developing when you hit grade school, though. The college students and young adults we know are still developing their character, just like we are and just like our parents are. Each new set of friends, or each life event forces us to redefine our character. Deaths make us stronger. Betrayals can make us more cynical. New opportunities make us hopeful. We learn to laugh so we don't cry, we learn to be patient when the world is speeding by, we learn to fight for the things that matter.
I once took a spiritual gifts test. OK< I've taken lots. Yeah, they are probably bogus, just like regular personality tests where you make it say what you want. This particular test said that my lowest gift was mercy. Kristin wholeheartedly agreed with it at the time because while she was trusting, I trusted no one. She would feel sorry for someone who failed, I wanted them sent away. But as my character has developed, I've grown merciful. Some things have happened in my life to make me see my fellow man as a flawed human, in need of redemption and rescue from themselves. Everyone sins, screws up, and fails- repeatedly. When God sees us, He sees not our shortcomings, but who He made us to be, and who He is making us to be.
Thats how we develop our character, slowly and over time. We do this so as to not be one note characters, easily pidgeonholed as one type or another. Our characters should be contradictions: Sinner and Saint, trustworthy liars, angry peaceniks, rescued captives. One day the contradictions will be gone, but until then we are journeying toward our Epilogue, hopefully our "Well done, Good and Faithful Servant."
And just maybe, we will excite our Father in who we are becoming just as our daughters excite us in who they are becoming.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Waking Dreams
There is a song by Owl City that I hate, largely because of the instrumentals and seemingly nonsensical lyrics about fireflies. However, the overall message is that life is better in dreams. With this, I agree.
I've noticed that I tend to be more optimistic, more energetic and generally happier when I'm dreaming, or thinking and seeking vision. The excitement when we were planning the early stages of the Gate was palpable. Even in the midst of other trying times occuring simultaneously, I was happy. Recently, I've begun writing and planning more with the Gate, dreaming of opportunities, plotting out messages, and I've begun pursuing more writing opportunities in general. And things have been better.
I think about people I've known who stopped dreaming at some point, just resigned themselves to life as it was, and that it was always to be that way. They were walking dead. And they tended to not just be zombie-like, they tended to be vampiric as well, sucking the life out the dreams of others. I was never angry at them, but I did feel sorrow for them. Looking back, there have been times where I was a vampiric zombie myself. When we are like this, we are not the life of the party.
So what do we do to wake in dreams? Pursue what we love and let no one dissuade us. Have an open mind. Think big and don't settle. Stop letting other people and situations write your story- give the pen only to you and God (and pretty much let God do it all).
And while we're dreaming, someone please dream up a better song than Fireflies to get stuck in my head.
I've noticed that I tend to be more optimistic, more energetic and generally happier when I'm dreaming, or thinking and seeking vision. The excitement when we were planning the early stages of the Gate was palpable. Even in the midst of other trying times occuring simultaneously, I was happy. Recently, I've begun writing and planning more with the Gate, dreaming of opportunities, plotting out messages, and I've begun pursuing more writing opportunities in general. And things have been better.
I think about people I've known who stopped dreaming at some point, just resigned themselves to life as it was, and that it was always to be that way. They were walking dead. And they tended to not just be zombie-like, they tended to be vampiric as well, sucking the life out the dreams of others. I was never angry at them, but I did feel sorrow for them. Looking back, there have been times where I was a vampiric zombie myself. When we are like this, we are not the life of the party.
So what do we do to wake in dreams? Pursue what we love and let no one dissuade us. Have an open mind. Think big and don't settle. Stop letting other people and situations write your story- give the pen only to you and God (and pretty much let God do it all).
And while we're dreaming, someone please dream up a better song than Fireflies to get stuck in my head.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Hey! This One Relates to the Blog-Name!
For a week or so, the news has been following the process of a 'massive' generator on its trek through the Brazos Valley to Riesel's new coal plant. They have informed us that it moves about 1 mile per hour and would pretty much shut down the roads it travels on. We have been told that it is an awesome sight to see, that it is not done justice by its pictures. It is a, to quote some posters on the news site, "Once in a lifetime sight"
Today, I saw this thing. It was...a disappointment.
I've seen impressive things, man-made and God-made. Hoover Dam is impressive. The St. Louis arch is impressive. Exotic sports cars are impressive. Then, on a whole other level of awesome, I've seen the Grand Canyon and stood atop mountains in Rocky Mountain National Park, placed my feet in a sort of ocean (the Gulf of Mexico is only technically an ocean to me). This machine was nothing to write home about. (Yes, I am aware of the irony of that statement, but wait for it...)
Have we as a people become so excited about mediocrity that we celebrate lesser things? Graduation ceremonies at every grade level, a medal for every finisher, and a mentality that everyone is a winner or special in their own way seems to breed a desire for a level playing field for us all. Excel at anything and you make others feel bad, so pull it back a notch, drop it down a gear, slow your stride before the finish. I'm not in anyway advising bad sportsmanship, running up scores or rubbing in your excellence, but if you are great at something, be great.
And we must stop standing in awe of lesser gods. C.S Lewis said it best:
If we consider the unblushing promises of
reward and the staggering nature of the
rewards promised in the Gospels, it seem
that our Lord finds our desires not too
strong, but too more weak. We are
half-hearted creatures, fooling about with
drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy
is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants
to go on making mud pies in a slum because he
cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a
holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
So I refuse to stand in awe of a big, but disappointing generator. I would rather have my breath stolen by the Rocky Mountain vistas and chilled air. I would rather be mesmerized by the cascade of colors at sunset. I'd rather marvel at the work of God in remaking his children each day.
Let us raise our standards, and our dreams, to a level beyond our limitations, and into His presence.
Today, I saw this thing. It was...a disappointment.
I've seen impressive things, man-made and God-made. Hoover Dam is impressive. The St. Louis arch is impressive. Exotic sports cars are impressive. Then, on a whole other level of awesome, I've seen the Grand Canyon and stood atop mountains in Rocky Mountain National Park, placed my feet in a sort of ocean (the Gulf of Mexico is only technically an ocean to me). This machine was nothing to write home about. (Yes, I am aware of the irony of that statement, but wait for it...)
Have we as a people become so excited about mediocrity that we celebrate lesser things? Graduation ceremonies at every grade level, a medal for every finisher, and a mentality that everyone is a winner or special in their own way seems to breed a desire for a level playing field for us all. Excel at anything and you make others feel bad, so pull it back a notch, drop it down a gear, slow your stride before the finish. I'm not in anyway advising bad sportsmanship, running up scores or rubbing in your excellence, but if you are great at something, be great.
And we must stop standing in awe of lesser gods. C.S Lewis said it best:
If we consider the unblushing promises of
reward and the staggering nature of the
rewards promised in the Gospels, it seem
that our Lord finds our desires not too
strong, but too more weak. We are
half-hearted creatures, fooling about with
drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy
is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants
to go on making mud pies in a slum because he
cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a
holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
So I refuse to stand in awe of a big, but disappointing generator. I would rather have my breath stolen by the Rocky Mountain vistas and chilled air. I would rather be mesmerized by the cascade of colors at sunset. I'd rather marvel at the work of God in remaking his children each day.
Let us raise our standards, and our dreams, to a level beyond our limitations, and into His presence.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Life as Story
This past Sunday, the Gate started a four week series on how to live your life like its a story. Many thanks to Donald Miller and various other writer types for putting this idea into print.
That being put out there, we started Sunday with Story, sort of an intro to the idea. As I think about this concept, I notice that Story and Vision become interchangeable. What we say when we want our lives to tell a good story is that we want to have a life of vision. The great stories either tell us about people with vision, or are, in their essence, visionary. Star Wars is visionary, Lost is visionary, Gone With the Wind is about people with vision, Lord of the Rings is really both about vision and itself visionary. My favorite line from Lonesome Dove is the last line of the miniseries. A reporter asks Captain Call a series of questions, which he of course ignores. Finally, exasperated, he begs, "They say you're a man of vision!" Call stops, a flashback ensues of the cattle drive, and of the friends lost on said drive, and he responds, "Man of vision, you say?" He slightly cocks his head and says, with the odd mixture of pain and pride, "Hell of a vision."
To live a life worthy of story, or a life of vision, it is impossible to go without loss, pain, disappointment right alongside the victories, the happiness and the fulfillment. Frodo loses a finger and his peace yet saves the world for his friends, Bruce Wayne in the Dark Knight loses the chance at a normal life for the sake of saving Gotham City and protecting a friends integrity, Call was the first cattle rancher in Montana but he lost his lifelong best friend.
Vision is costly, but it is necessary. Vision not only leads us to a better life story, it serves others. The Gate is a product of vision, and though starting a church for college students and young adults that meets in a bar is not simple, easy or financially profitable, it is worthy. Each life we touch is as vital to us as we hope that we are to them. People who have come to our gatherings find themselves welcomed into the Gate's story, into our lives, and I hope caught up into something larger than just a bar church.
See, thats what story is about: My story caught up in HIS Story. My role, my narrative, is but one plot thread of an epic. I fear that too often, we feel that our lives are not important, too mundane. The answer to that is that we need to realize that our story, our vision is as large as we can see. We can't all be caught up in a story like Frodo's, or even Captain Call's, but there is adventure, and it lies in pursuit of Christ.
If we choose to take the risk to see the vision.
That being put out there, we started Sunday with Story, sort of an intro to the idea. As I think about this concept, I notice that Story and Vision become interchangeable. What we say when we want our lives to tell a good story is that we want to have a life of vision. The great stories either tell us about people with vision, or are, in their essence, visionary. Star Wars is visionary, Lost is visionary, Gone With the Wind is about people with vision, Lord of the Rings is really both about vision and itself visionary. My favorite line from Lonesome Dove is the last line of the miniseries. A reporter asks Captain Call a series of questions, which he of course ignores. Finally, exasperated, he begs, "They say you're a man of vision!" Call stops, a flashback ensues of the cattle drive, and of the friends lost on said drive, and he responds, "Man of vision, you say?" He slightly cocks his head and says, with the odd mixture of pain and pride, "Hell of a vision."
To live a life worthy of story, or a life of vision, it is impossible to go without loss, pain, disappointment right alongside the victories, the happiness and the fulfillment. Frodo loses a finger and his peace yet saves the world for his friends, Bruce Wayne in the Dark Knight loses the chance at a normal life for the sake of saving Gotham City and protecting a friends integrity, Call was the first cattle rancher in Montana but he lost his lifelong best friend.
Vision is costly, but it is necessary. Vision not only leads us to a better life story, it serves others. The Gate is a product of vision, and though starting a church for college students and young adults that meets in a bar is not simple, easy or financially profitable, it is worthy. Each life we touch is as vital to us as we hope that we are to them. People who have come to our gatherings find themselves welcomed into the Gate's story, into our lives, and I hope caught up into something larger than just a bar church.
See, thats what story is about: My story caught up in HIS Story. My role, my narrative, is but one plot thread of an epic. I fear that too often, we feel that our lives are not important, too mundane. The answer to that is that we need to realize that our story, our vision is as large as we can see. We can't all be caught up in a story like Frodo's, or even Captain Call's, but there is adventure, and it lies in pursuit of Christ.
If we choose to take the risk to see the vision.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I-Pod Really is the 'Soundtrack to Your Life.'
For far too long my life was void of meaningful sound. Then, like dawn of a newborn day, the light that is I-pod shone into my life. No longer was I burdened with a mountain of shiny discs to carry around that belong in cases that break far too easily when pressed under the weight of a shoe merely trying to find its comfortable spot in a car. No longer did 'skips' ruin the melody of a favorite song. No, life was full.
Then rain killed my I-Pod. And for a time, life was again, silent and dark. After a few months of mourning its loss (and saving up for a better version) we adopted a second I-Pod. Even better than the first, I no longer had to pick and choose which songs to add to it's library. There was enough memory to hold anyone's entire collection of music- save for my friend Kevin, who, seriously, has waaaaay too much music.
Life was great. I was able to listen while at work, pouring over moldy old deed records for countless hours while filling my ears with the wailings of Bono, or Switchfoot, the poetic musings of Crowder or Webb, the loud beats of POD, and occasionally, some country song Kristin put on there.
Then, like the clap of thunder that is gone too quickly- my earphones broke. Sure I could still listen in the car, or in the speaker at home, but work was dreary and dead without my soundtrack. For far too long, I transcribed in silence, left only to wandering thoughts, wherein I was doing something else. Anything else. And the darkness grew.
For Christmas, my mother-in-law got me earphones. Not the painful factory kind, but the cushy, pillow-inside-my-ear kind. Finally, I could walk from my office to records, a song of inspiration putting a spring in my step again (not like in Saturday Night Fever, mind you. I own no polyester jumpsuit nor any rhythym.) Even the Overture from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves has its place when I am looking over yellowed, handwritten pages- it is almost like being in the movie- minus the arrows and fire, and poor English Dialect uttered by Kevin Costner.
So, if your life is filled with a quiet desperation, go find an I-Pod. Fill it with the soundtrack of your life. Play it loud.
And spring for the fancy earbuds.
Then rain killed my I-Pod. And for a time, life was again, silent and dark. After a few months of mourning its loss (and saving up for a better version) we adopted a second I-Pod. Even better than the first, I no longer had to pick and choose which songs to add to it's library. There was enough memory to hold anyone's entire collection of music- save for my friend Kevin, who, seriously, has waaaaay too much music.
Life was great. I was able to listen while at work, pouring over moldy old deed records for countless hours while filling my ears with the wailings of Bono, or Switchfoot, the poetic musings of Crowder or Webb, the loud beats of POD, and occasionally, some country song Kristin put on there.
Then, like the clap of thunder that is gone too quickly- my earphones broke. Sure I could still listen in the car, or in the speaker at home, but work was dreary and dead without my soundtrack. For far too long, I transcribed in silence, left only to wandering thoughts, wherein I was doing something else. Anything else. And the darkness grew.
For Christmas, my mother-in-law got me earphones. Not the painful factory kind, but the cushy, pillow-inside-my-ear kind. Finally, I could walk from my office to records, a song of inspiration putting a spring in my step again (not like in Saturday Night Fever, mind you. I own no polyester jumpsuit nor any rhythym.) Even the Overture from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves has its place when I am looking over yellowed, handwritten pages- it is almost like being in the movie- minus the arrows and fire, and poor English Dialect uttered by Kevin Costner.
So, if your life is filled with a quiet desperation, go find an I-Pod. Fill it with the soundtrack of your life. Play it loud.
And spring for the fancy earbuds.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Polka Dot Christmas and New Year's Hopes
Christmas has come and gone, as has 2009 in general, and I for one am glad. About 2009, not Christmas.
See, for me, 2009 was a year of not much fun. Good things happened here and there, like finally nailing down what Kristin's illnesses were all about and getting a plan for that. It was also fun to watch Leslie begin gymnastics and get pretty good rather quickly, and Kenna has really developed a personality quite unlike what we expected it would be.
But 2009 was difficult spiritually. Struggles, health, and just plain apathy had gotten the better of me. One of the ways it manifested was in the lack of writing I did here. I love to write, but it is hard to write when you have nothing good to write about. In the midst of all this, I made one of those "God, make the fleece wet,no, wait, dry," deals with God. I kind of threw out there this thought, "God, if you still care about my happiness or joy, send me snow on Christmas."
Now, I forgot about that, because, A) it was kind of childish; and B) I live in south central Texas. Things went on for a while, and finally I began to climb out of the weariness and 'give-up attitude,' with a big help from Kristin, Donald Miller and the David Crowder Band, which pointed me toward Christ again. Things were getting better, but hope was still a fleeting thing to me, and I still lacked that feeling like I had a real strong reason for being. I had heard enough over the years that it was OK to just be ordinary and not do anything amazing (if you're like me, you remember that scene in the Incredibles where the Dad exclaims that the fear is that the super fast son would not fail, but that he would be great). So rather than dream big, I hedged my bets, and played it safe for a long time. Even with the Gate, I had begun to play it safe more often than not.
Christmas Eve it began to flurry while we were at my Mom's house near Waco. It was during a trip outside to get firewood that I remembered my shout out to God. It was certainly no White Christmas, Polka Dot Christmas at best, but it was snow. On Christmas Eve. In Texas.
I know its a big leap, but I started thinking again after that about big things. Not big things so that I become big, but big things to make His Name big. I've written a memoir that covers the first two years of the Gate, while also- like the flashbacks on Lost- telling the backstory that influences the things happening in the main story. Its a story that I think people should read, not just because I wouldn't mind the extra cash every no and then, but also because its real. Its real life, and its not so different from what others may ahve experienced. In my small vision world, it was something that would have been read just by family and friends. But this new year, I want to try to get it published. The attempt may fail, but the greater failure is to not try.
So, in 2010, I want to write more here, and in a follow up 'book.' You know, just in case 'Unfinished' gets published and is a huge success. But at the heart, I want to live better. For my own health. For my wife and kids. For my friends. For my church. For my God.
That's my New Year's Hope.
See, for me, 2009 was a year of not much fun. Good things happened here and there, like finally nailing down what Kristin's illnesses were all about and getting a plan for that. It was also fun to watch Leslie begin gymnastics and get pretty good rather quickly, and Kenna has really developed a personality quite unlike what we expected it would be.
But 2009 was difficult spiritually. Struggles, health, and just plain apathy had gotten the better of me. One of the ways it manifested was in the lack of writing I did here. I love to write, but it is hard to write when you have nothing good to write about. In the midst of all this, I made one of those "God, make the fleece wet,no, wait, dry," deals with God. I kind of threw out there this thought, "God, if you still care about my happiness or joy, send me snow on Christmas."
Now, I forgot about that, because, A) it was kind of childish; and B) I live in south central Texas. Things went on for a while, and finally I began to climb out of the weariness and 'give-up attitude,' with a big help from Kristin, Donald Miller and the David Crowder Band, which pointed me toward Christ again. Things were getting better, but hope was still a fleeting thing to me, and I still lacked that feeling like I had a real strong reason for being. I had heard enough over the years that it was OK to just be ordinary and not do anything amazing (if you're like me, you remember that scene in the Incredibles where the Dad exclaims that the fear is that the super fast son would not fail, but that he would be great). So rather than dream big, I hedged my bets, and played it safe for a long time. Even with the Gate, I had begun to play it safe more often than not.
Christmas Eve it began to flurry while we were at my Mom's house near Waco. It was during a trip outside to get firewood that I remembered my shout out to God. It was certainly no White Christmas, Polka Dot Christmas at best, but it was snow. On Christmas Eve. In Texas.
I know its a big leap, but I started thinking again after that about big things. Not big things so that I become big, but big things to make His Name big. I've written a memoir that covers the first two years of the Gate, while also- like the flashbacks on Lost- telling the backstory that influences the things happening in the main story. Its a story that I think people should read, not just because I wouldn't mind the extra cash every no and then, but also because its real. Its real life, and its not so different from what others may ahve experienced. In my small vision world, it was something that would have been read just by family and friends. But this new year, I want to try to get it published. The attempt may fail, but the greater failure is to not try.
So, in 2010, I want to write more here, and in a follow up 'book.' You know, just in case 'Unfinished' gets published and is a huge success. But at the heart, I want to live better. For my own health. For my wife and kids. For my friends. For my church. For my God.
That's my New Year's Hope.
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