Bored of Lesser Things

When Forgiveness Does Flow Freely

2012-01-24T06:34:00.000-08:00

I know I should, but I just don't want to.

Forgive, that is.

This is new for me. I've been wronged before, I've been betrayed- honestly, I've had way worse things happen to me than the slight I'm obliquely referring to. Every time, I've been mad, furious even, for a day or two and then I forgive, and move on.

But this time, this time I hear that still small voice saying "Forgive, and move on." I know that's right, I know I should.

I just don't want to.

I think that says more about me than the person who hurt me. I mean, I follow Christ, who, even though He knew we would stab Him in the back at the drop of a hat, still invited us to dinner with Him. This guy, who hung on a cross, looked at the ones who physically and legally and spiritually put Him there and said "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing." This Jesus who heard Peter deny he'd ever met the Nazarene, yet still gave him the reins of the Church.

But I can't forgive someone for being poor with communication and insensitive.

How petty have I become?

Not only that, how dangerous is it that I don't forgive? Jesus himself said that if I don't forgive others, why should God forgive me? I'm basically saying I am OK with allowing myself to be in broken relationship with God because my feelings are hurt by someone else.

And that's the point where I realize how bad I've become. Because I am NOT OK with a broken relationship with God. I NEED Him. I cannot endure the trials before me if He is not with me- or rather, if I am not with Him. So, my first step is to ask God to forgive me for being unforgiving.

The next step is to paraphrase Mark 9:24: "Lord, I want to forgive; help me in my unforgiveness!"

The final step to trust the Spirit will guide me to forgiveness, and that I will be tender-hearted enough to finally and freely offer it.

This is as close as I'll get to "Tebowing"

2012-01-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

To be honest, I'm not sure what to make of Tim Tebow.

First of all, I think he is 100% genuine and real in his faith, and I hope he succeeds greatly. But he's a little too happy, "sunshine and rainbows" to me. This is a minor quibble, and I've found myself rooting for him after all.

The difficult thing for me is that his escapades have made me call into question a belief I've long held about sports- should we pray for victory for 'our' sports team?

I'll come back to that in a minute. In the meantime, Tim Tebow as a person is worth looking at.

Last week, I was talking about "Viral" Christianity, and mentioned there was a person who was about as Viral as a Christian can get these days. That person, is Tim Tebow. He's got over a million followers on Twitter; when he tweets, they spread like wildfire; was recently named by ESPN as America's most popular athlete; he started the phenomenon of 'tebowing' (unintentionally); thanks to him, John 3:16 was a top search result a few weeks back; and everywhere you turn someone is writing an article about the boy.

Or, they are trying to tear him down.

Wanda Sykes ripped into him on Jay Leno. Saturday Night Live had Jesus telling him to "tone it down" a bit. SNL was kinda funny- Sykes came off as bitter. His fellow athletes either respect him, hate him, or just don't know what to do with- but they can't stop talking about him.

If this were Terrell Owens, or Deion Sanders back in his heyday (yep, dating myself- he is fact the football fairy on those DirecTV ads. Not so much a star these days)- then I'd chalk it up to shameless self promotion. But Tebow seems honestly humble, and somewhat surprised by all the hubbub. Even if his handlers are master marketers, he's coming off as a nice guy, who is sincere in his faith. He stands for what he believes, he respects others of differing opinions, and he seems to have a heart to serve others.

So it was that I found myself slowly starting to watch the Broncos and hoping for a win. Apparently, a lot of speculators began wondering if God was in fact fighting for Tebow and his team. I've always thought it ridiculous (and a little bit offensive) that some people thought God cared at all about sports. They are nothing when compared to the suffering and plights of so many. If God chose to pick favorites with a sports team and let people continue to go hungry, then I'd have a problem with God.

Then, as the showdown with the Patriots last week loomed, something dawned on me. A seminary professor once imparted this wisdom on me- "God meets people where they are." He said that the Old Testament is full of God being warlike- sending Israel to fight and kill and destroy their enemies, seemingly under not just God's blessing, but His power. The reason: the people of that time assumed that the most powerful army had the most powerful god. You win a battle, your god is better than the other guys. And people would see this and seek the winning god. God killing and destroying seems the antithesis of a loving God we want to talk about today, but really, His warlike nature was an extension of His love. He was trying to win people by speaking their language. Fluently.

We know longer think that the biggest army has the biggest god. Wars don't change the religion of people. OK, well in some places yes, but its because the new government forces a change, not because people choose it. But in America, Sunday afternoons are the modern day equivalent of Jericho, Megiddo and all the Old Testament battlefields.

Suddenly, I wondered: What if God is using Tim Tebow to win the hearts of a nation by granting (or allowing) miraculous victories? Would it be wrong for us to pray for the victory of a man and his team if that victory results in more people hearing of Christ, seeking out a Bible verse, or maybe, just maybe, starting to think Tebow is blessed and used by God and that God is real?

I know what you're thinking, that lots of people say that "God likes Tebow" and it's sarcasm. Yep, that's right. But when Yahoo and Google and all sorts of search engines show that John 3:16 is trending because Tim Tebow threw for 316 yards, averaging 31.6 yards a pass- oh and John 3:16 is his favorite verse- well, it's hard to deny God is using Tebow to get His Word out.

I'll admit, the yardage and passing average thing is kinda cheesy- but then, who am I to question how God does things?

In the end, I don't think I'll make it a habit of praying for my team to have victory every time. But, if I know that the message of Christ will not only be spoken of, but in some small way even validated, by the victories of a team, then, yeah, I'm gonna pray for that.

I think Tebow is a good guy- I wish him well, and that he stands firm in his faith. But I caution, and I think he would as well, don't idolize him. Don't deify him. He is not God, nor is he the Second Coming. He's a football player. He is a Christian. He will fail, he will mess up, he will sin. When that happens, let us pray for him, and not drop him as a "fine, young Christian role model."

But please, please, don't let him do another Denver Mattress commercial.

Viral

2012-01-17T17:45:00.000-08:00

We are living in a viral world, yet our faith seems to have been cured of this threat. There is very little “viral” about modern Christianity- except that it seems to be like the “viral” of old, in that many people want to avoid it at all costs.

The irony is that Christianity at its core is made to be viral. Spread from person to person in and increasingly contagious manner until it reaches pandemic status. There have been books about becoming a “contagious” Christian, and the faith has been called the good infection. But a more common term today for Christianity is ‘plague,’ at least among non-believers and nominal Christians. But these are areas I will get to over the next few weeks, today I want to look at the phenomenon that is “viral,” and the fact that Christianity was once viral, and must be again.

Defining Viral
First, we need to define what makes something ‘viral.’ I hold that there are four things that are key to something catching on and going crazy.

1. It connects. I don’t know how it happens, but viral things connect with people. Something about the music in the video, the plot of the story, the oddball-ness of the idiot trying something dangerous- something connects with you. You see yourself in them, or someone you know; it makes you laugh hysterically or groan deeply; it wakes you up to something new and fresh and challenging. Whatever it is, you are hooked.

2. It’s low budget or low effort. Some things have high production values, but they are not marketed with tons of money. They catch on and take a life of their own- they need no promotion. Some of the better viral videos are of people just catching themselves doing life. Hilariously. Viral comes not (always) from careful planning, but from dumb luck.

3. It’s pervasive. Once it’s viral, you can’t escape it. It’s on TV, every website, in the conversations of your friends. Once it hits your parents and grandparents- forget about it.

4. It’s addictive. Some things you just keep going back to. Movie trailers you watch over and over, phrases you can’t stop saying, tunes you can’t get out of your head. You want more, and more, and more.

Viral Bible
Jesus was viral.

He told stories that connected with people, that were not flashily promoted, that got spread all over the world- and they left people wanting, no, needing, more. Same for the healings, the teachings and the man Himself.

His followers were viral, too. They would hear His words and spread them. People would believe without meeting Jesus personally, because the account of the believer was so powerful and connective.

Three thousand people believed at one time during Pentecost- in large part because the Holy Spirit let every understand the Gospel in their own language, and the Gospel was powerful.

Paul’s letters were really the first chain letters. “Read this, apply it to your life, and pass it on to five of the closest churches.” This action shaped the early church and the theology of the rest of church history.

We Must be Viral
It’s in the blood of those who choose Christ to be viral. He wants to spread Himself to others, and He does it through you and me. But in order for us to be viral, we must remember that Christ connects with us- we must find our heartbeat.

We must have something worthy of saying.

Too many of us think we take Christianity viral by using scripture for EVERY. SINGLE. STATUS. UPDATE.

Something else about viral: it bring something new or at least something relevant.

I realize I will be lynched by many for this, but Scripture is not new, nor is it relevant to a lost world. They have heard it before, and never seen it lived out by those spouting it- it is irrelevant.
Scripture is, I believe, totally true and relevant- but I’m a believer. Those that are not, see the world for what it is that they can touch- what they can verify. If we want to reach them, we have to reach them on their ground, on their turf. Scripture can and must come into play at some point, but in the lead up, what people need to see is something in our lives, our character, worthy of sharing with the world- worthy of connecting with.

Next week, we’ll look at Patient Zero- how to start the viral movement with yourself. Later on this week, I hope to post something regarding a particular person who is about as viral as any Christian I know- and talk a bit about what is good and bad about that.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a Half Truth

2012-01-10T06:01:00.000-08:00

Jeremiah 29:11 gets all the press.

Tell someone you're down about the way things are going with school or work or a relationship, and I'm pretty sure a Christian will begin their advice with "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

It's a good verse- and I believe it has truth to it. Plus it looks good embroidered on a pillow and makes the advice giver seem somewhat enlightened. But there are two things that have always bugged me about it. One, the context is that Israel is being told they will get out of captivity and get to go home. Yes, this is a prophecy, but it is given specifically to the nation of Israel. But the greater context of the Bible does back up that part about God knowing the plans He has for us, so I'm good there. Honestly, this part doesn't bother me much.

But the second one does. Jeremiah 29:11 is truth- but it is only a part of the truth of this passage. When we read 29:11, we think God's benevolence is at work- and it is. We think God is just going to give us prosperity and good times- which is NOT the case. Disagree with me? Let's see what comes next in verses 12-14:

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

See, the prosperity and lack of harm are, in fact, contingent on something. Several things actually. First, we must call on God, go to Him in prayer. No problem, you might say, you pray all the time, so you must be good. I pray a lot, too, but I don't always find prosperity or lack of harm in my life- how about you? Often, we pray BECAUSE of the problems in our lives. I know I often pray because I feel I need something, not because I want to chat with God. Perhaps that is why we often feel our prayers don't reach beyond the ceiling.

We are not, in fact, seeking God when we pray- we are seeking His blessing.

God essentially tells us that the good stuff is contingent upon the second thing- that we actually seek HIM, and with our whole heart. OK, easy enough to try to shift our focus from seeking God's stuff to seeking Him as a Person, but it's more than that. He asks for our whole heart to be in it.

Whole heart. Not half, not three-quarters, not 99.999999%. Whole. All of it.

I read of people griping that they can't see God, or hear/understand what He is saying in scripture, or that God just doesn't seem to be around anymore. I've heard people- believing Christians- say that. I've said that. And at the same time, I've known, deep down (for me at least, I can't speak for the others) that those moments come most often when my heart is, in fact, divided.

I can't find God when I'm looking for Him and fulfillment at work and ideas for the church and how to be a better husband and father. These are good things, important things, but if they are dividing my heart, they are going to block my view of God. I get that. But at the same time, just what is a "whole heart" and how do I get it?

Is God asking us to forsake all other people and things for Him?

Umm, yeah, He is.

He's not asking you to leave your family, quit your job and join a monastery, He's asking for your undivided heart- your undivided attention. Family, career, church- all of that can and should still be in your life, but instead of it being a portion of your life (read: heart) it should be a portion of your relationship to God. That's what I think He asking when He asks for our whole heart: That everything we do, we do for Him. Everything we think, pursue, say, attempt- all done with the mind of "How does this glorify God?"

I must confess this is a struggle I find growing increasingly difficult in my own life. I am often tempted to try to sort out things without asking that question first and often. I go to God with questions and requests for the purpose of my own prosperity and freedom from harm- not to just be with God. I often put church before God. I guess that makes me a Pharisee. I do good things and wait expectantly for blessings that never come. I ask God why, and He is probably responding with- "You did that for you, not for me."

So, back to Jeremiah 29:11- God tells Israel (and us) that He has no plans to bring us harm, but plenty to bring us prosperity. (An aside- I think this means a spiritual prosperity as much or more than any material prosperity.) What verse 12 tells us is that God has told us this hope, so that we would truly seek Him- then and only then will the plans God has for us come to fruition.

They are contingent upon God's grace, but like always with God's grace, it is contingent upon our acceptance of it. And we accept it by seeking God, looking for Him with all our attention AND affection.

Perhaps that is what "whole heart" is all about. All our attention and affection, given to God.

Sounds like good things are already pouring in with that attitude.

The Church We Were Made to Be

2012-01-08T18:56:00.000-08:00

I like to think of this as a sort of "movie trailer" for the Gate this Spring. And I love the song and the people in the video.

Where Do We Go From Here?

2011-12-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

It was September, 2008.

The Gate had started with a handful of people. Literally, like five of us gathered in our living room. And that had gone on for a few months, but now, it was clear, we needed to go public. A couple weeks before we wanted to start, we still had no place to meet when Hurricane Harry's called us back. The rest of that is history. Then, Hurricane Ike hit, and evacuees staying at Reed Arena kept Breakaway from meeting there- and Breakaway was the venue we chose to tell the world (or, well, Texas A&M and Blinn students) about us. We were postponed 2 or 3 times before that first night at Harry's, but when it finally got set in stone we were meeting that Sunday late in September, we realized we still needed a worship leader. We got one the Friday before that Launch Sunday.

The big night came, and nothing went right during set-up. The sound system at Harry's was incompatible with our stuff. The video wouldn't work. We began to panic. That first night we had 19 people. Some were friends coming to support us, but over half would become regular Gate people. Over the next three years, people came and went, we built a core group, and leaders were forged. Our style changed, we've had four sets of regular worship leaders, we've moved our spot in Harry's at least four times. But some of the people had been there up from the start.

Now, as 2012 is about to kick off, we have graduated the last of the original members of the Gate. The only originals are Kristin and I (and our kids). Essentially, we have had a 100% turnover rate.

Just like we planned.

In the last few weeks, I've been hearing from some our current members, curious about our direction and sudden leadership vacuum. When talking with other ministers and other Christian friends, I am often asked- either inherently or implicitly- the same question: Where does the Gate go from here?

My response has been to smile, and lean back just a little, and say: Now, we experiment.

From the start, one of the exciting things about The Gate has been that we have a chance to start fresh every semester, and about every four years we have a whole new church. It keeps us fresh, it keeps us expectant, and it keeps us busy. We cannot afford to rest and let the people come to us, we must now, more than ever, go to the people. Meeting in a bar is not enough- we must be proactive in sharing Christ. But more than that, we must offer the message of Christ in a unique way that stays true to the TRUTH of Christ, but is able to connect with a generation more than a little cynical about all things Christian.

I've been reading a book, called "You Lost Me" by David Kinnaman. It's a book about 18-29 year olds and the way they are mass-exodusing the church these days. He talks about three types of groups that these folks break down in to. Prodigals no longer call themselves Christians and pursue other faiths. Nomads still call themselves Christians, but are disconnected from faith communities and active lives for Christ. The last group is Exiles, and they are the ones who are still devoted to Christ- as much or more than most regular church-goers. But, they find that the human institution of church is failing and at points hindering them. They are scientists, artists, creatives, and new-thinkers, and the church (in their view) has stifled and downright ignored their passions. Even when those passions are attempting to reach those who need Christ.

I share this little book review because these Prodigals, Nomads, and Exiles are who the Gate has come to College Station for. But now, we need to be the Exiles. We need to be artists, creators, innovators, scientists. We need to learn not how to be good Christians at church, but how to be good Christians in the lab, the class, the law firm, and the dump truck. We need to learn how to share Christ with more than just our memorized verses and hollow platitudes. In fact, to reach this generation, we need to forget the platitudes and bumper sticker theology altogether. And Scripture- which is still sharper than a double edged sword- has no meaning to the masses if we don't provide living examples of it. They want to see it in action, not just hear it repeated to them again.

So, how does that new vision coincide with what has gone on on the road so far?

God provides.

It will probably be last minute. It will probably come from an unexpected source. It most likely won't look exactly like we expect.

But it will be undeniably God.

I've heard that trying to closely follow God is like trying to ride a wild stallion or hang onto the tail of a comet. It's dangerous, it's exhilarating , and it is scary. But to succeed in it is amazing. So where does the Gate go from here?

We're gonna find out what its like to ride the tail of a comet.

Being Miserable at Your Job for God's Glory

2011-12-21T09:33:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was having lunch with Craig, a local pastor, and we were talking about ministry and "the call." We both agreed that a calling to full time ministry means that you will be miserable doing anything else- because if God calls you to serve, that's where He wants you.

I thought a lot about this over the last few days, in the midst of being miserable at my day job, and decided it is so true. Yet, there is, as always, an exception. What if God calls you to a ministry, but that ministry can't pay you?

When we started the Gate, I knew that I would have to become bi-vocational, and I was OK with that. In the early days, it was pretty easy to balance the two, especially since my day job offered a great flexibility. I could work through lunch and be able to meet people for coffee in the afternoon and still have time for family in the evenings. The job was low stress (other than the fact that being a legal assistant in delinquent tax law means all I do is research, and I hate research) and the pay was good. On the Gate side, we were still in high single digits to barely teens, so there wasn't as much time needed for that.

Over three years later, much of that has changed. The Gate is running in the mid-twenties with great potential to grow this spring- despite there being NO advertising at all this last semester aside from word of mouth. I'm scheduled to be meeting with three guys one-on-one on a weekly to semi-weekly schedule, plus I'll be meeting with the worship leader, when we find them. (They're not lost, we just need a new one due to graduation.) With Wally stepping back from the church, there are many things he did that I now have to do- they're small, but they are things like setting up slides for the messages. Also, with growth, there is a need growing to put our church in action like it never has been before- we need to be going, and going hard to the community around us. With the Wellborns gone, as well as our biggest graduating class ever, we are at a point where we have to take risks, and we have to spend time growing leaders to fill gaps.

I've not been this excited about the Gate since we started her. The possibilities are keeping me filled with hope and expectation and vision.

But my day job, that thing I keep so I can pay the bills, is killing me. I still have that freedom part, but with the increased needs of the Gate, it's not enough. The pay has stayed about the same as when I started, so that's no good. And the stress part? Let's just say there are certain elements in play that necessitated an early Christmas present punching bag for relief.

I'm not doing the Gate full-time, and I'm miserable.

I've looked at getting another job, but I realize now that nothing will allow me the freedom to do the Gate and the salary to pay the bills. Nothing, that is, aside from working for the Gate. The problem is, the Gate has about enough money to pay rent at the bar and handle a few miscellaneous needs that arise here and there. The Gate has never asked for money outside of itself, and so far, God has provided for the needs we have. But now, we sit at a point where we need God to up the provision.

I'd love to have someone donate the money to pay me full time and have enough left over to fulfill some of the needs we have like paying the rent and upgrading equipment that is growing old and funding mission opportunities. I want the Gate to grow, and reach people and be light to the campus of A&M and the cities of BCS. I need more time to devote to that, and the funds to support the ideas God is growing in me and in the people of our church.

And so, we're back to the start of this blog- that a person called to serve God full-time will be miserable if they do anything else. I am called to the Gate, yet I must work in tax law to be able to serve the Gate and reach people for Christ. I'm a "tentmaker" like Paul.

This is my trial.

But this, this is my hope:

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." ----1 Peter 1:6-9

If I must be miserable as a legal assistant so that I may know the joy of seeing God work in the lives of the people the Gate reaches, then so be it.

I need more time to devote to the Gate, but until I have it, I will take your prayers. Because with them, it is not just the Gate and I who reaps their blessing, it is you as well. For your prayers are what give the Gate and I support. Support when we are stressed, support when we are down, support when things don't go well. But you will also rejoice with us when God brings victory, salvation, and hope.

And though we might have trouble seeing Him now, I believe in Him- and that gives me joy.

Things, They Are A-Changin'

2011-12-11T07:55:00.000-08:00

Every semester means we lose some people.

Graduation is all at once joyous and sad for us at the Gate- and most churches with college students in them. We're excited to see the future unfold for the students graduating, and anxious to see where God takes them and to what He takes them. But, it means our time with them is done. Sure, they may come back and visit, but they are now off to join another body of believers, or perhaps, begin their own church.

Being a church that is north of ninety percent college student brings its own set of issues with graduation. While we have always said that the cool thing about it is we get to start over ever semester with fresh faces, the truth is there is always a bit of concern:
"What if we can't replace those we lose?"

Not just their numbers, but their impact. When a church is small, each member leaves more impact than they realize. We've lost impact members before- but at a trickle.

This December, it's coming as a flood.

We say goodbye to Chris Hill. Chris is about as close to an original member as we get these days. He's been vital to us in running sound and helping with set up. He offered his heart so often, willing to help and provide advice on so much. He liked us so much he stuck around for grad school! He was also instrumental in bringing people to the Gate. Which leads us to...

...Katherine Metz. She started coming because of Chris, and she grew into our planner. Without her, the Gate would have no student organization. She took that initiative on herself and ran with it. She kept us organized more than we'd like to admit.

Daniel Hall walked in on a Sunday we weren't expecting anyone to show up. Before long, he was in the worship leader rotation. That will teach someone to randomly show up to our church on a low attendance day. Daniel brought heart and sincerity with him each time he came.

Jared Egli and Maddie McBrayer get joint mention because, well they came together. They got involved in everything very quickly, and soon became leaders before we had time to recognize and try to equip them to be leaders. They spent their last semester with us leading worship, and doing great. Now, they are getting married in a month or so. (Disclaimer: the Gate can take no credit for that, they were already getting married when we met them.)

These folks were blessings to us while they were with us- perhaps more than they know. But this year, they are not the only loss to the Gate.

Wally and Christine Wellborn are stepping aside from leadership at the Gate. The Wellborns have been friends of Kristin and I since college, and our co-leaders of the Gate since inception. Wally served as small group coordinator, Gate Crashers coordinator, worship-leader-as-needed, sound guy, and tech guy, among many other things. Christine worked with the women, helped with children's activities when needed, and was often the voice of reason when ideas grew a bit outlandish.

God is calling them on from us, though they will still be around in the background, and I am sure, still praying for us. As we will for them, and all the graduates. Where ever God may take them, I know they will be a blessing to that ministry.

So the big question is, what is next? The small answer is: Change. The Gate has always viewed itself as a place of transition- a gate is not a place so much as a space between places, just like college is a space between childhood and adulthood- and this is no different. Bigger change, definitely, but change nonetheless.

With slightly more elaboration, the change coming means this: Students no have NO choice but to step up and lead. If the Gate is to remain, students will be the leaders of it. Yeah, Kristin and I will still be around in our usual roles, but the students we've always told they were vital to our church are all the more so now. We need your commitment, your vision, your passion, your time, your friends, your tithe, your ideas, your missions, and your leadership.

As I believed in Chris, Katherine, Daniel, Jared, Maddie, Wally and Christine- and all those others gone before them, I believe in you. Many of you are already leading, and you don't know it yet. The Gate has always been and will always continue to be the church for college students where you don't just "do" church, you ARE the church.

There is risk in the future for the Gate.

But it is a risk that is worth taking for all of us who already belong to the Gate, and for those yet to find us.

Let's take this transition together.

The Hike

2011-11-28T09:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, a road seems so long that you grow weary, and you wonder why you ever set out on it in the first place. You question whether your commitment to the path is really worth the effort. Sure, you enjoy the scenery, and you get a good workout from the hike, but those 'rewards' seem small compared to the fact that you've been walking for a while and no big milestones have been passed yet. So, you stop, sit, and flirt with the notion of giving up.

Other hikers walk by, coming from some other trails, and tell you the hike is worth it. You appreciate their kind words, but they haven't been walking with you, they don't know what you've been through. There are other hikers, ones who have been following you, but they'e been quiet, watching you and seeing what you do. Some have been with you from the start, they are tired, too. Others have been picked up along the way, and have a little more pep to them. It is one of them, or a chorus of them that speaks up, and says what you've needed to hear, but never knew it:

"You have made my hike a little better."
"You've made me feel like I belong to this hiking tour like no other hiking tour ever has."

"I feel closer to the summit than I ever have before, and couldn't have done it without you."

"You've changed the way I view hiking."

Your heart stirs, the weariness fades a bit, and the path no longer looks so daunting. You will carry on, buoyed by the encouragement of the people following you.

For a while now, I've been tired. I've seen God doing small things in the ministry He's called me to, but for whatever reason, it hasn't seemed good enough. At least, not good enough to impassion me. It's been a yo-yo of spirituality for me for the last few years, and I'm pretty sure the up and down isn't done yet. But just a few days ago, I'd had enough. I wasn't hearing encouragement from God- it seemed- and the bright spots I'd even recently spotted were seeming dim. So I told God- "I need something. I need to know what I've pursued with the Gate matters, that it's worth something. That I matter."

That hit me Thanksgiving night, and I sat down, and threw a pity party. I was ready to stop the hike. I was consumed with anxieties and fears about church, job, life, and everything. I was angry at God, and didn't know why. So I called Him out.

Then, Sunday night. We had our last night of Storytellers, a series we'd been doing at church where we invited the folks that make up our church the chance to share their story, or a message they felt God had laid on their heart. The other two nights had been great, Maddie had taught a great message about letting God take away your anxieties and fears. Evan shared about how God had used the Gate to lead him closer to God than he'd been, and Bethany shared about how God has His hand in things in ways that can surprise- and save- us. Last night, Amy shared about how God led us to realize how little we are in control, but that it's a good thing. Andy shared how one person can make a difference, even if it seems small at the time, to change things in a big way. And Sara closed us out with a message of hope that God can heal our brokenness.

I still didn't fully have the theme God was teaching me yet. I'm slow like that.

This morning, I felt the need to listen to Mumford & Sons. I clicked on their first album on Grooveshark and let it play. While the music played, I was chatting with Daniel, who encouraged me unexpectedly with a sledgehammer of hope- God was using me. There was a difference being made through me, despite my fears, anxieties and failings as a follower of Christ.

Then, the lyrics to the Mumford & Sons pierced my heart:

"So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears"

And

"So make your siren's call

And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be"

God cares. And what I've learned is that we need to listen to Him, and we need to listen to the words of others when they encourage. We need to offer it freely as well. Sometimes when we don't 'hear God,' the door that opens to that comes from listening to those hiking with us. As pastors, we need to let those in our care share what God is doing in their lives- you'll be surprised how often it's more than you think. And people need to tell their leaders when they have made a difference in their lives. Pastors need to encourage their flock- and not just from the pulpit (or bar floor).

I don't think we realize how often we all need a kind word from someone else. After all, God's kindness is what leads us to repentance. Makes sense that His followers acting out that aspect of His character would have a similar result.

This morning, a combination of the words from Storytellers ringing in my ears, an encouraging Facebook chat, and Mumford & Sons brought me to tears- and closer to God. So, I put my pack back on, stood to my feet, and resumed my hike. My hope and prayer is that I lead well those who go along with me. That when they grow weary, I give hope, and when I falter again, they again lift me up.
The journey is long, but it is worth it. But only if we go together.

Attack of the Killer Thanksgiving Turkey

2011-11-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

I was meeting with Andy- a young man from our church- yesterday, and after discussion over the scripture we were reading, Andy asked me a potent question:

"Why is the church OK with Thanksgiving?"

At first, I wasn't really sure there was anything 'wrong' with Thanksgiving. But Andy continued explaining his question, until finally, he arrived at this analogy (paraphrased):

"So, someone from church invites everyone over to Thanksgiving dinner, where we all over eat, and no one has a problem with it. But what if I announced that after the dinner, everyone come over to my house and we'll have a kegger?"

I've been meeting with Andy for a while now, and have come to learn he asks good questions that catch me off guard. This is a good thing.

What I think Andy is getting at is that Thanksgiving has little to do with giving thanks and lots to do with gluttony. And why would we as Christians be OK with overeating, but violently opposed to drunkenness? Really, it's the same kind of sin, just with a different ingredient. And both are Biblical called out as sin.

Thanksgiving is under attack by a giant, Killer Turkey.

Maybe this is just me, but when was the last time you actually "gave thanks" on Thanksgiving- aside of course from an obligatory prayer before chowing down on that awesome poultry and stuffing? Andy's problem with Thanksgiving is more that it's not about thanks- it's about gluttony. And we the Church promote it by not calling it out. And by not being actually thankful. We must fight back against the monster Turkey in the room.

So first- don't overeat. Put down the turkey leg and walk away. It is the same as getting drunk, having an affair, or killing someone. All sins being equal, as I believe they are. Enjoy your turkey, but in moderation. It will be hard for me, too.

Now, no one wants to be the guy who pulls the old "Everybody say something they're thankful for" shtick at dinner Thursday. I know I don't. So, instead of being that guy- or girl- start now. Yeah, I know people on Facebook are doing the "Today I'm thankful for..." thing, which is good, but I'm not persistent enough with that sort of stuff. After about a week, I'd just be trying to figure out what to post, and would have lost the point by that time. It'd just be a routine, not real, for me.

Here's my plan: I will post a few things I'm thankful for now on this blog. You can share yours in the comments section or at the Facebook link that sent you here. And as you sit Thursday, enjoying your turkey and dressing, maybe you'll think about the things you posted.

And be thankful.

Thus thwarting the Attack of the Killer Thanksgiving Turkey for another year. But watch out for the Attack of the Giant Stack of Presents Under the Christmas Tree.

What I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

1. My wife, Kristin. She seriously puts up with a lot from me, and not just cheesy jokes. Plus she is an amazing mother to our kids, and a true blessing to me.

2. Speaking of them- Leslie and Kenna, our kids. They always make me smile, and beam with pride. They are pretty good kids, and good enough other people see it. They are smart and talented- in different ways. And sometimes they listen to what I say.

3. That A&M is bowl eligible before we play Texas. That could have ended badly.

4. That my Mom and Mother-in-law get along super well. Sometimes a little too well, and they gang up on Kristin and I. But they are also great people and we love them dearly for all they do for us.

5. That our church the Gate has some awesome people really maturing in their faith. They are leading out and speaking up, and it is cool to watch it happen.

6. The Amazon wishlist. Makes shopping so much easier.

7. God's unending pursuit of me. Even when I'm not looking, He shows up and scare the heck out me. But it also reminds me that He loves me jealously.

8. How He Loves- any version, by any artist. Enough said.

9. Lost, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, Supernatural, Friends, Lord of the Rings, A Time to Kill and any other movie or TV show that inspires me and- totally inadvertently- has a tendency to speak God's truth to me. So glad God uses things like this to talk to me.

10. For the rest of the people in my life who did not get name dropped, but still inspire and challenge me with tough questions, and relationships that are more than just acquaintances.

Seeing the Dark, or How to Keep Stress from Eating You

2011-11-14T07:23:00.000-08:00

There have been times when I will wake up in the middle of the night, and the dark is so deep that I get disoriented. I forget where the lamp by my bedside is, where the door is, which way is which. Having lost all sense of direction, a slight sense of panic will briefly arise and I'll kind of flail about trying to find my bearings (and possibly hitting my wife) in an effort to regain control of my faculties. These incidents last maybe ten or fifteen seconds, but they seem like an eternity. Finally, my eyes will adjust, my sensibilities return, my wife asks, "What'd you do that for?" and normalcy and sleep soon return.

In the midst of the panic, it's not just my senses that are scrambled, its my thinking. All the things that give me comfort or security are still right where they once were, but I am unable to recognize them, or even see them as they are. The reason?

I can only see the dark.

Crazy, right? I mean, the dark isn't an object you can see, it's more of a concept. It's not really even a color. But in those moments of...whatever that is, it becomes almost tangible, almost alive, and it can be terrifying.

Now, before you write me off as a big baby who is afraid of the dark, remember this is for like fifteen seconds. I actually love the dark, and like walking in it- on my terms, which these cases are most definitely not.

Also, I'm seeing these episodes as a metaphor for some current things I'm dealing with, and probably so are a lot of others.

When a kid is afraid of the dark, what they are really afraid of is what is IN the dark that will come out and get them. The dark is a cover for truly nefarious things. As an adult we don't believe in monsters, but we do believe there are bad things in the dark- things we can't see at the moment, but we know are there.

Like stress.

Bills we know are coming. That conversation that we know we must have. Obligations that need to be met. Responsibilities to be undertaken. Consequences that are going to fall. Then, sometimes these inevitables are eclipsed by the true terrors- possibilities.

Let's face it, good possibilities rarely keep us up at night, but the possibility, the fear that tomorrow you get fired, or someone you love gets hurt, or a tornado could hit- these spring your eyes wide open.

And they are irrational.

The problem I've had lately is that these stressors- real and imagined- have become the dark. THEY are what I see, and no amount of flailing about trying to find my comforts and safeties has worked. Because I see the problem, and not the solution.

In the last few weeks, I think I've wanted to see the problem more than the solution. It makes no sense, but by wallowing in the problems I see ( and being incapacitated by them) feels easier than trying to see the solutions. Maybe it's anxiety or a mental thing, or maybe it's a spiritual one. Or both.

Two things have happened in the last 24 hours that have begun to clear the dark for me, and hopefully it can for you if you've been 'seeing the dark.'

1) Last night, our church had Restoration, a our communion service made up of lots of music, low lights, and stories of thankfulness shared by people. One person, Ashley, spoke of the need for us to just talk about how much we love Jesus, and how good He is to us more often. Usually, I write that kind of talk off as "Sunshine and Rainbows" talk, but not the way Ashley put it. There was a truth to it- a truth because she meant it, felt it, experienced it and knew it. She was not reciting some mantra the church taught her, she was speaking out of the overflow of what God was doing in her heart. By the way, that's called worship. So, thanks Ashley for sharing that we need to see God instead of the problems, if you'll forgive my paraphrasing and co-opting there.

2) Spurred on by that seed planted last night, I turned the I-pod on to "How He Loves," Crowder's radio version. I turned to that song mostly because God usually speaks louder when I listen to that song over others. Not sure why, other than it is one of the more heartfelt worship songs I've ever heard. In the midst of an always moving song, there is the lyric:

When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realise just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

I recognized my problem was that I was all too aware of my 'afflictions.' They were the dark I could see, all that I could see. As if to accentuate the point, around the time this lyric went by, the sun broke through an overcast morning sky to shine on my face, startling me. See, God talks louder when you listen to the David Crowder Band.

That's the key to getting this. You either see your problems (your dark) or you see His affections for you. You cannot SEE them both. I'm not saying feeling loved by God makes your problems go away- it doesn't. But it so eclipses them that they are gone from pressing hard on your mind. You are not trapped by them, not in a panic over them.

For me, it is a choice I have to make constantly- do I see the dark, or do I see the glory and affection of God? Generally, if I want to feel in control, I try to see the dark. Which is ironic, because when I see the dark, I am in no way anywhere near the vicinity of in control.

But if I want peace? I let the dark be eclipsed by God's glory. I look at the love He has shown me, and trust in that.

Someone Has to be the Blind Guy.

2011-11-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

---Isaiah 61: 1-3

Several years ago, I was really into John Eldredge of Wild at Heart book fame. In one of his books, he uses this passage often, and kinda as a theme for the book. He poses that this passage, which Jesus quotes for His first public message, is a rallying cry for us to be rescuers of people, to be God's agents going out and helping people discover true life.

I ate that up.

And, I agree wholeheartedly with the idea. We are called to imitate Christ, we are told by Jesus that we have authority to do all sorts of crazy spiritual superheroics. And as long as we recognize that it is not we who do the deep down, soul rescuing (only God can do that), I think this is a good mindset to have. Christians who have changed the world no doubt live by this idea- whether they realize it or not. William Wilberforce who fought to end slavery is a perfect historical example, but we need not look any further than the Christians who today are digging water wells in Africa ( www.bloodwatermission.com ), or working in poor areas of America taking care of the sick, or leading movements to bring attention to the sex slave trade ( www.redthreadmovement.org ) or child soldiers ( www.invisiblechildren.com ). And why stop there- there are student missionaries in our colleges, neighbors who share Christ out of their pores, and quite possibly you yourself live this out.

I know I try to. It's not easy, and sometimes, it gets to be almost too much for anyone. Sometimes we falter, we fail, and we get trapped. Sometimes we just burn out.

The other day, I looked this passage up, largely because I was finding myself drawn to the "beauty for ashes" part. As I read it, I noticed something for the first time in a long time.

Someone has to be the blind guy.

I spent so much time focusing on this as a mantra for living the "on-fire for Jesus" lifestyle, that I neglected to realize that this passage is hope for the poor, the blind, the brokenhearted, and the prisoners. Someone is coming to rescue them. Then it dawned on me.

Sometimes, I'm the blind guy.

Sometimes, I need to be rescued, need to be given sight. I'm not always the crusading rescuer, I am often the captive in need of salvation. Be that from the ambassador of Christ that is my friend, or from the presence of Christ Himself, speaking hope to me.

I don't always have it together. Sometimes I can't see clearly, or I'm caught in a trap of my own design. If I am too prideful to admit it, I will not accept help when it comes.

I just need to admit I am the ashes, and that the only way beauty can arise from me is if Christ does His work in me. In order to be the rescuer, I must first be rescued.

Brokenness is a thing we must all know, so that we are made better. We who have been blind and can now see can better rescue the blind (I'm speaking metaphorically here). And the same is true for those former captives and poor.

If we want to be the kind of Christ follower that is revolutionary, it starts with realizing we need His rescue- not just once, but often.

Sympathy for the Devil

2011-11-03T11:33:00.000-07:00

Just call me Lucifer
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

--The Rolling Stones, "Sympathy for the Devil"

Man, the devil makes a great villain, doesn't he?

He scares us to death in the Exorcist and Dante, and periodically shows up in more modern fare as the Big Bad of a movie or television show. We seem to be getting away from the devil as cartoon, and getting more to this kind of devil: seductive, persuasive, and deadly.

Satan is real. And he is good at what he does. And what he does is set the table for us to sin, and make it look good. There is no "devil made me do it" junk- he just offers.

Look at Luke 4 and see that he offers some attractive stuff to Jesus. What's more, he has the power to give it. Jesus, however, sees the strings attached, and knows what's good and in God's plan. He turns down a lucrative offer.

You and I don't get a face to face with the Prince of this world, that old fallen angel/snake/accuser. At least, not in such an obvious way. He is there- or, at least his demonic buddies are. Behind every temptation is a hope of Satan to kill your relationship with God. He can't snatch you from the Lord's hand, but he can take your intimacy with God and make you miserable in this life. If you let him.

I'm not a "demon around every corner" kind of guy- sometimes bad things and bad people just happen. I believe that often, when we give in to temptation so much, the instigator of that desire is our own sinful nature, not so much a dark whisper in the ear. Sort of an automatic start for sin.

In the movies, getting rid of Satan means learning Latin, buying a crucifix, and stocking up on Holy Water. Sometimes I wish fighting Satan were so tangible, that he were more like a monster that could be dispatched with the right formula of weapon and words. The true way to defeat Satan puts the power not in some talisman or phrase- but in God.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.-- James 4:7

It means, give yourself to God. Then, and only then, can you have the strength to do what comes next- resist. Without God in your life, the Rolling Stones are right, Satan will "lay your soul to waste."

It is a serious error to ignore that Satan is real and is powerful. It is equally serious to give him too much credit. He is defeated. He is limited. He is only capable of doing what God allows- and what we give him permission to do.

So, please- no sympathy for the devil. Just resistance.

Preceded and surrounded by submission to God.

Birthday Wishes

2011-10-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is my birthday.

When you have kids, and when those kids have birthdays the same week as yours, you kinda fade to the background. I've gotten used to it now, and sort of like the fact it doesn't get noticed as much. Even with this 'birthday anonymity' I still have wishes, and since I get no candles to blow out, here they are:

Freedom

I want to be free. I'd like to not have a desk job, and have more time to devote to family, church, and writing. The problem is, I'd also like to still have money to feed the family and provide for needs. Barring a miracle of financial proportions, my birthday wish is that I'd know more freedom internally. That I'd learn to be at peace more with things the way they are. Contentment. I think freedom is- to some degree- a state of mind. And I need to make the most of what I have.

Passion

I want to be excited about things again. I often talk about being passionate about God, and wanting more of this. That's really only part of it. I want to be passionate about life in general. I want to be a better and more engaged husband and father. I want to do the best I can at my day job and at my church leadership. I want to be more passionate about writing. I think passion leads to motivation, and when we feel unmotivated, what we really have is a lack of passion. I want to care about the things in my life more than I do. I want to become consumed with love for the things that matter, and be zealous in giving them my best.

Rescue of My Kids

My kids are reaching the age where they are really starting to understand God. At church, I've been blessed to see them singing during worship more often. A few days ago, Leslie asked for a Bible she could read when she goes to another local church on Wednesdays. My wish is that God would continue moving in their hearts, that He would rescue them from sin and that they would accept His gift. I wish Kristin and I could be the right examples, and have the right answers when needed.

To See God Move

I want to see God show up in our church. I want to see God show up in my family. I want to see God show up in my finances. I want to see God show up in my life. I want my life and these things around it to be neon signs pointing to God's works. I want it to be undeniable that God is doing something awesome and powerful, and that I am a part of it.

Excitement

I get bored. I'd love for there to be some adventure to charge off on. I'd love a road trip, a physically challenging endeavor, a mystery to solve, or major happening to shake things up--in a good way.

So, there you have it. My wishes for the next year of my life. If you were looking for a wishlist that could be taken care of on Amazon, sorry to disappoint. And if you really insist on getting me something, a 2012 Black Camaro would sure help with that Excitement wish.

Wayward Son

2011-10-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

I discovered the show Supernatural last Spring when I had the flu. I'd been told by several friends I needed to see the show, but was a bit elitist in my TV viewing. CW shows were beneath me.

My bias soon faded as the show became addictive, quickly. Two brothers fighting the supernatural monsters of lore and ultimately facing down Lucifer himself with the help of a trenchcoated angel and a bearded drunk. Good TV.

Before each episode, there is a set of flashbacks to prior episodes, and before the season finale, the flashbacks are accompanied by this song- Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas.

As you can see from the lyrics, it's a song about a son struggling to make it, struggling to endure the tests before him. He has gone off the beaten path, he has taken the harder road. His heart breaks, and he wants to give in and give up. He has risen too high, and now he is under attack. For going beyond the norm. He has vision, and that vision costs him.

It is perfect for Supernatural.

It's perfect for me.

I confess, I am struggling with the calling of God on my life right now. I feel I have a vision of what God desires, of the church I lead and the people I reach, and I love doing that. But the cost- well, the cost is great. Spiritual attacks of fear, temptations, anxiety, business matters of the church, anger, feelings of inadequacies- they are mounting. Plus I struggle with a day job that I find neither fulfilling, nor financially sufficient- but am saddled with a skill set that leaves few options outside of full-time ministry or writing. And neither of those are available at the moment as an option. I am tired, I am frustrated, and I am losing faith.

All this despite God doing great things with the Gate. But I see that, and long for the ability to spend more time doing it, then wake up to the reality that unless someone decides to finance the church salaries, it ain't gonna happen.

In short, I'm hitting bottom.

In fairness, some of my malaise is my own fault. I sin, I say stupid things, I tend to be a little lazy when it comes to getting menial tasks done. God is bringing this to my attention these last few days.

Yet still, here I am. On a mission from God that is not (and I never expected it to be) easy. I knew there would be struggles, I knew there would be stumbles, and I knew there would be attacks. But I am swamped with those things now, and need a way out. I would give anything to be able to lead the Gate full time and write and speak on the side and never have to worry about paying the bills or my kids having a good birthday and cavity free teeth at the same time. Heck, I could deal a little better if I could get just one of those things.

And to be honest, I need to know that I matter. It is selfish and narcissistic, I know, but dang it, I want to know if I'm making a difference.

People will tell me I need to trust in God. I will really want to hit them. I know that. Sometimes I need to vent, and telling me what I already know is infuriating, and it really doesn't get to the heart of my issue. It's a feel good, simple answer to a question that is much more complex. One friend has pointed out that we do need to lament our problems to God and others- it's Biblical, there's a whole book called Lamentations, for crying out loud.

That advice helps me.

What I want is for God to take care of me, to comfort me and provide for me. I want some victories- BIG ONES. I want to have victory over my vices, over my finances, over apathy. I want God to open the door for full time ministry with the Gate, I want Him to make me a successful author and speaker. I want to be restored to the kind of faith and joy I've known throughout my life. I want freedom from the burdens of this world- freedom that comes only from intimacy with Christ. I want to know Him, and I want to continue on this journey He has called me on. Like the Winchesters of Supernatural, there are times the road gets too hard, and they cry out, they get angry, they kill a monster (or hit each other), they confess their frustrations and drive off in the Impala listening to AC/DC or Metallica or Kansas. They carry on.

So, today, I ask God, what would you have me hear from you today? What I'm hearing is not that I will get those things I want, or that my troubles with go away, or even that things will get a little easier. But there is a promise, a hope He offers. I just need to press on, continue seeking Him. It won't be easy or quick. But it'll be good. His words could very well be the opening lines of the Kansas song above:

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Wayward Story

2011-10-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I love the TV show Lost. Yes, I even loved the finale, with it's lack of answers and controversial (but I thought totally clear and beautiful) final scene. I loved it for the characters. Yeah, the secrets and numbers and Others kept things interesting from time to time, but it was really- for me- about Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Locke, Ben, Hurley and the rest.

The way I came to love these fictional, messed up people is a big reason why I loved Lost as a character show. You meet them in the middle of their lives, no explanation, no back story save the story they are telling at the moment. Some stories were true, others- total fabrications. (I'm looking at you, Ben Linus.) Either way, some you loved instantly, some you hated, others scared you. But, through the non-linear storytelling of Flashbacks and Flashforwards, we learned more than the characters would ever feel like letting on. Through these stories, these true stories, we came to love a snarky con-man, to question the sanity of the most lovable teddy bear of a man, and to see the broken shell that birthed the (at least initially) Man of the Island.

I liked Lost for its wayward characters who weren't always what they seemed; sometimes better, often worse.

I liked it because it is very much like real life.

Without the smoke monsters and living islands.

When we meet, the only story I know is what you tell me. I have to take your word. But the more I get to know you, the more you share about where you've come from- and where you are going- the more I see the real you. Because our stories- our lives- are not linear.

Sure, we don't time travel or jump a couple decades in experiences, but the things that happened to us absolutely shape us today. For example, when I was in college, a ministry I was involved in had a brainstorming session about how to meet the evolving needs of college students. Two groups emerged, "keep it the same" and "radically change it." I was in the "radically change it" camp, and voiced my opinion for very non-traditional approaches. Try new things, reach out to people in new and fresh ways, make evangelism more relational and less event oriented. Focus on what the organization did best instead of trying to be everything at once.

I did not win out.

But five years or so later, I find myself again speaking these things to a traditional church. Again, it was going no where, when God, using my memory of the last time that happened, began to shape a thought, a vision, for what would become the church I know pastor.

That's one example of many. In fact, I'm even working on self-publishing a memoir type book called The Wayward that spells this out in more detail. It should be up for download by the end of the year or early next. Essentially, it points out that are stories, our lives, follow no clear pattern. Things we thought were said and done resurface and change us, shape us, and motivate now. Not only that, our future shapes us as well. Disagree? How many of you have retirement and financial plans for the future that affect the way you spend today? How many of you have life and career goals that direct your daily actions now? How many of you are dating to find "The One?"

Truth is, we are all writing a wayward story. We may be like Paul- an enemy of Christ who does a 180 and becomes a devoted follower. He didn't see that coming, but he used his past experience with the Law to become the great theologian of the New Testament. You could get whiplash trying to keep up with the twists and turns of David's life.

But that's our viewpoint. Like on Lost, we only got the information the producers felt necessary at that moment. What may seem all over the map to we the viewers (supposedly) was all part of the plan of the producers. While the validity of that claim is sketchy, the same claim could be made by God and be totally true. We may get tangled up in the plot threads of our lives, but God is still sticking with the master plan.

Wayward Faith

2011-10-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

When I go hiking, it's always a truly terrifying event.

Not for me, (I'm having the time of my life) but for those with me. Especially if my wife is there. The reason my hiking habits raise anxiety levels is two-fold: 1) I'm quick and sure footed. 2) I have an aversion to well established trails.

The first means that I move faster- often a lot faster- than those with me. When I slow down, it wears me out. So, I keep the steps up as well as the heart rate. In my view, if you're not hiking briskly and bouncing from rock to rock, you're just walking.

But the second, well, that means that I like to find the more difficult paths. Rather, I like to find the non-existent path and "break it in." This translates into me running out to the edge of jutting rocks and finding the most straight up/shale covered slopes to explore. I don' like to follow any pattern, I just send my feet toward the sight that seems most challenging. There is a sense of accomplishment I get when I do this- that I'm breaking new ground, and that I'm being just a little bit dangerous.

This is a common theme lately. I have come to feel that we, as a society, are far too safe. I grew up with no bike helmets or pads, no seat belt laws in the backseat, and no padding or netting on trampolines. There was an element of danger to childhood that made it exciting. Something about those things made we want to get out and do things, to try things. Now, if you eschew the safety rules, then you are considered, at best, a bit wayward.

I like the word wayward. We should use it more. But I also feel we should tweak the way we use it a bit. For reference, here is the definition from Merriam-Webster:
1: following one's own capricious, wanton, or depraved inclinations : ungovernable

2: following no clear principle or law : unpredictable

3: opposite to what is desired or expected : untoward

See, to be wayward is negative. And if you are following 'depraved inclinations,' then yeah, that's bad. But sometimes, we need to be a little bit more of the 3rd definition. "Opposite of what is desired or expected." Especially if what is desired or expected is in conflict with God.

Enter faith. To me, in the world today, there is nothing more wayward to the world's culture than to live by faith. Heck, if we're really honest, there is nothing more wayward to much of church culture than to live by faith. Sure, we believe in God, and we pray to Him, and maybe read the Bible a bit and go to church- that means we're living by faith, right?

The truth is, we are living more by established doctrines and traditions that by faith. For instance, if God asked you to drop everything today and move to the Middle East to share Christ, would you even consider it, or would you brush it aside as crazy?

Okay, fair enough, that's too big. What if God asked you today to openly share your faith with an atheist co-worker- or boss? What if God asked you to not look the other way when the panhandler walks up to your car at the stop light? What if God asked you to give more (or some) money to the church, even though finances are tight?

We are ruled by logic, by doing what makes sense. If we can't explain something completely, we can't put our faith in it. It almost seems like we won't really commit to God unless we can know Him completely and without a doubt. We need cold hard facts.

We need helmets and seatbelts and nets and pads and clearly marked trails, or we won't do it.

And that is why faith is wayward. It is rebellious, it is crazy. 2 Corinthians 5:13 says as much: "If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you."

God doesn't make sense. To paraphrase Donald Miller from Blue Like Jazz- He doesn't resolve, he doesn't line up with established rhythms. God is wayward to our expectations and facts and science.

When Jesus walked on water, it scared the disciples. (Duh.) But then he asked Peter to come out on the water as well. No scientific laws said that water would hold him, no facts or prior experience could lead him to any other conclusion than "I'm gonna sink. Fast." But his faith wasn't in the water, or science, or facts. It was in Jesus. So, he stepped out of his safe boat, and walked on water.

Peter, like Jesus, was wayward.

When we have faith- real, living, vibrant faith- we will not fit in with people who don't believe in God. Or Christians who want a God they can control and wrap their minds around. You will walk with Him like I hike- faster and sure footed, and going off the beaten path. You will seem to those who cling to the safety helmets they call "what we've always done" a bit nutty, dangerous, or even naive. But you- you will call yourself something different. You will recognize that those others would use this label as a negative, you claim it as a badge of honor. Because it makes you more like your Father.

You will call yourself "Wayward."

Legacy

2011-09-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't want to be remembered after they are gone?

There is something in our human nature that wants validation for our lives and how we lived them. It's why High School hallways are filled with trophies, yearbooks are filled with notes about how we "will never forget you," and why churches put brass nameplates on everything. We want to be remembered.

The question is: Do we do anything WORTHY of being remembered?

Well before we get to that, let's think about the things that get remembered.
--Sports statistics- but really only by guys, and not all of them at that.
--Major historical accomplishments that shape the world- but then, just watch Jay Leno's Jaywalking segments to see even that doesn't hold up.
--Be famous- quick, name the star of the number 1 television show in 1983. Thought so.
--Invent something-Who invented the electric light? Nope, not Edison, some dude named Humphry Davy. Yeah, had to Google that myself.

Okay, so doing important stuff doesn't necessarily leave a legacy. Now, think of one person who made a difference in your life. No doubt you have a dozen or so names flash through your mind- that teacher that took an interest in you, that boss who saw your talents and grew them, the person who spoke openly to you about Christ, a parent. You may not remember Humphry Davy, but you will never forget the people who engaged you in your life.

It's relationships. These are the things that make legacies. Paul, in his second letter to Timothy, mentions that Timothy's faith is one of legacy- first in his grandmother, then his mother, then Paul himself. You are who you are because of a lot of experiences, and because of the people you share them with.

So, the original question- What are you doing in your relationships with others that is worthy of a Legacy?

We celebrate accomplishments and donations- but we don't commemorate the impact people make on us personally with trophies and plaques. And we shouldn't. Legacy is passed on not in possessions, but in wisdom, encouragement, love, and so many other hard to calculate things. The way we know we are the part of the legacy of someone is if they left their mark on us.

For us to leave a legacy, we need to leave a mark. We need to live lives that matter to people outside of ourselves. And- in total antithesis to our nature- we need to do it not for our own self aggrandizement, but for the well being of others.

Paul is a great example of this self-sacrificial nature. In Romans 9, he says he would go to Hell if it meant his fellow Hebrews would accept Christ. But he also gives us a great picture of a legacy we should all aspire to in Acts 20:25-27

“Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again. Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of any of you. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.

Paul's legacy was that he told everyone about Christ. Everyone. He lived in such a way that people knew who he followed, and he was never shy about proclaiming it.

The fact is- someone shared Christ with you. Someone prayed for you. Someone gave you a Bible. Someone invited you to church one night. Someone talked with you when you were struggling with doubts and fears and failures and all sorts of other junk. They gave of themselves to you, so you would make right choices and grow stronger. You are their legacy.

And that's how you grow yours.

Combustible Drought

2011-09-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

This is Texas now.

For the last year or two, we've been in a drought. Here in Bryan/College Station, for the year to date, we are over 20 inches behind on the wet stuff. We were about that much behind last year. What this means is a warm breath can start a fire.

This extreme drought is paralyzing. It is destroying crops, killing livestock, and putting ranchers in binds that point toward bankruptcy. But until the fires, there was very little mention of it in the media outside the local stations. Droughts just aren't as interesting Severe Weather Phenomenons as, say, a Hurricane on the east coast. Video of large cracks in dry black dirt is nowhere near as interesting as a weatherman being pummeled by storm surge.

The fires changed that. Now, people are talking. Now, the drought matters.

Because the drought is a constant thought these days, I had been thinking a lot about that Psalm that talks about the deer panting for water- Psalm 42, it turns out. I took the time to read it the other day, and it struck me how closely the drought for my state parallels those droughts we all experience spiritually. Just look at the first four verses:

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
day and night, while people say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God
under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
among the festive throng.

Texas is begging for rain, and it's not uncommon to hear folks talking wistfully about rains of the past. Talk to someone in a spiritual drought, and it's a similar deal. "Man, that time when God..." or "I remember once, we were singing this song, and God showed up." There is a mournful, longing tone to the voices that speak of these things long gone.

The thing I find interesting about Psalm 42 is that David is not feeling distant from God, yet he feels like he is in spiritual drought. Verse 8 says, "By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life." (Emphasis mine). But then, in verse 9: I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” God is with David, yet David feels like God has forgotten him. Why this paradox?

How often have you had moments of clarity in the midst of turmoil? Or, moments of self-pity in the midst of mountain-top elation? God is EVER present, yet we can still feel distant. We may be praying, reading His Word, singing His praises- yet feel dry, distant, and like it's all a lot of hard work for a moment of connection.

Like droughts, this is a natural- if unfortunate- thing.

The problem with spiritual drought is when it becomes combustible drought. When the work we put in to connect with God becomes 'too hard,' we begin to give up. We lose hope. We stop reminding ourselves as David did in verse 11: Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Then, the fires of temptation spark, and we are consumed. Like the fire in the video above. I believe, from personal experience, that a loss of hope dramatically increases the chance for sin. Loss of hope is like the "Red Flag Warning" we get here in Texas when the drought is high and the winds are strong. Fire danger is high.

Fortunately for us, we can stave off the spiritual fires of temptation much easier than the wildfires that have ravaged Texas. We can't make it rain on our Terra Firma- but we can seed our spiritual clouds by listening to what David says in verse 11-Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. It seems simple, maybe too simple, but the remedy for a loss of hope is to hope. Stubborn, unmovable hope. Fleeting hope is no hope at all. No, we must hold to a hope that is made of stronger stuff than the 'wishful thinking' kind of hope most of live by. Our hope cannot be in lesser things, but only in the God who is still there, still saving us.

Still pouring water on our combustible drought of the soul.

Let us also pray for those who are affected by the physical drought and terrible fires. As they watch their homes be threatened or destroyed, they no doubt wonder where God is in all this- why them? I, nor anyone else on this planet, can answer that. Their spiritual drought is nearing the same level of combustion as the grasses and trees around their homes. Let us intercede, let us offer them the stubborn hope we are clinging to, let us hope when they haven't the strength to do it themselves. Let us pray to our God the Rainmaker, the Drought-Ender.

Let us be more like David- who senses God's nearness, yet longs ever more for the cooling drink from the presence of God.

Choose Wisely

2011-08-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of the Fall 2011 semester for THOUSANDS of students at Blinn and A&M here in Bryan/College Station. For some the excitement is palpable, for others, it's more a sense of dread. But mostly the excitement.

Especially for freshmen. Today, it is official. You are gaining independence. Sure, Mom and Dad dropped you off sometime in the last week, stocked up your mini-fridge, cast a wary eye toward your roommate, and made sure you had all your supplies- then headed home to redecorate your room. And you had a week of real freedom. Today, you have class. And no one is there to wake you up, make your breakfast and get you there.

Today is the first day of many choices you'll face. Go to class, or sleep in. Buy the books, or fake it and hope the tests are lecture based (if you choose to go to class, of course). Stay out late, or get plenty of rest. Can I beat that bus on my bike, or does a semester in traction sound good?

But there are more serious questions. Questions like: Who will I become now that I am gaining independence? What are my limits? Is this really the field of study I want to spend my life in? What is my spiritual journey going to look like?

Joshua 24:14-15 is about choices. In this speech, Joshua, the leader of Israel after Moses, gives a sort of commencement address, and concludes with this:

“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Joshua gives the call: Choose to give God all of your faithfulness, or give it up. No room for wafflers, no room for indecision. You can worship these old-time gods, or defeated gods, or you can serve the Lord. Either way they chose, Joshua made it clear where he was going.

Now, I don't want to get all moralistic on you, but I want you to understand this basic ideal:

Just because it looks good, doesn't mean it is.

Case in point, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade features the perfect example. Choose the right Holy Grail, get eternal life. Choose the wrong and you die. Fast. The Nazi picks a bejeweled golden chalice because "Jesus was the King of Kings." Well, Nazis are bad guys, so you know how this ends:

So, Indy goes. He picks a simple cup, not ornate, kinda ugly. Because he reasoned, "Jesus was a carpenter." So that result was better:

You will face countless choices that look good, say all the right things, give you lavish gifts, and have all the right moves. But drinking from them leave will leave you hollow, empty, and potentially the spiritual equivalent of a dry, dusty old Nazi skeleton. This is true of the day to day choices you'll face, as well as the moral, spiritual, and ethical choices.

It is also true of the church and/or religious organization you choose.

Before I start- I am not bashing churches. OK, well I am kinda bashing spiritually dead/misleading churches. But what I'm about to say applies to good churches as well- and in BCS, there are hundreds of those. The point is this: Don't get caught up in all the flashy, free-gift-giving, put-on-a-production stuff you'll see over the next month or so from a lot of churches. Look past all that to the heart of the church. Don't just listen to the things the church says, watch what it does.

And just because a church is feeding you tons of free food and has boatloads of money to spend on awesome programs doesn't mean they are a bad church. Nor does it mean they are a good church. Just because a church is small like you're used to, and comfortable with, doesn't mean it's the right church for you.

Choose Wisely.

The key to living this way is in Joshua's words- "Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness." To find the right place to belong, to worship and to server, you have to trust God totally. Honestly, to keep with Him throughout your life, you must trust Him fully. Every choice you make needs to be made in light of Christ- what would He desire of you? That's what 'serving with all faithfulness' is about. It's not about sheltering yourself from the world, or denying yourself the experience of college, or choosing the hippest church. It is about seeking God's wisdom first in all you do, and then following His words through to the end.

And when it comes to churches- seek the church that God is moving and working in, no matter what it looks like on the outside. And if you belong to a church, then you need to make it your goal to aid in anyway to be the church God is moving and working in. After all, this is not all there is to the church:

This is the church:

How Do You Define Purity?

2011-08-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

You ever had someone tell you not to think about a pink elephant?

Or tell you that whatever you do, do not scratch your nose?

The funny thing is, as soon as you are told to avoid those things, its all you can think about. It's basic psychology really, the more we are told what not to do, the more we want to do it. Maybe 'basic psychology' is the wrong terminology- 'basic human nature' is better. It seems since the beginning of recorded history, we go out of our to do what we are told not to do. It's more than John Locke from Lost screaming, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" out of hurt pride, it's about curiosity, about testing ourselves, about feeding something inside us.

For a long time, and to an extent even now, Christianity has been known for telling people what not to do. "Don't drink,dance, smoke or chew, or hang around with those who do," was a kind of unofficial motto of lots of churches. Not that there is anything wrong with knowing what behaviors are wrong, mind you. God has lots of things He wants us to have no part of, and we need to know those things and adhere to His commands completely. The problem is that the our focus falls more on the "No's" of Christianity than the "Yes's."

No where has this been more evident, I believe, than the Purity movements. True Love Waits was the most known in my circles, and it was a good program. Well, it's heart was in the right place. The problem with many of these things is they spend a good portion of their time telling students of the evils of sex outside of marriage. (Sexual purity is really just a small part of the larger Purity picture, but it gets the lion's share of attention.)

Numerous studies have appeared indicating that True Love Waits and other abstinence programs aren't working so well. What has happened with that data is that lots of folks are jumping to the conclusion that it is impossible for people to abstain from sex until they are married. The taboo or "No" action is just too tempting, they would say.

And they are not wrong.

Well, not totally. The truth is, in the current way we deal with all areas of purity- not just sexual- the focus is on what NOT to do, instead what TO do. We have advertised and promoted how bad an action is, and we have made it magnetically attractive to that basic human nature that wants to do what someone has told it it can't do. Our system is doomed to fail.

Now, a system that is working right now is gold. I know, you're wondering what the heck gold has to do with purity, other than some of those rings are made of it. Here's the thing about gold- people want it pure. Pure gold is a - forgive the pun- goldmine right now. An ounce is worth more than $1800 an ounce. Everyone is talking gold. No one is talking about the stuff that was melted out of the gold.

"There are just over 30 grams in a Troy ounce, and at 5 grams/ton, you're looking at 30 divided by 5 or 6 tons of ore to recover that (Troy) ounce of gold from ore with a grade of 5 grams/ton."

(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_tons_of_ore_contain_one_ounce_of_gold#ixzz1VrMRJtP4)

There is 5 or 6 TONS of other junk (depending on the grade of the ore) that must be smelted away to get the good stuff- the pure stuff. My point is this- the focus with gold is on the pure stuff, not the stuff that gets in the way of the pure stuff. The reason is that the gold is what we value vastly more than the rest of the ore.

The problem with the call to purity in the church is not that we are calling for it, it is that we are calling for it in the negative, by telling you all about the 5 or 6 tons of junk you need to get rid of, instead of elaborating on the ounce of purity that is so valuable. We spend more time praying against the sins in our lives than we do praying for the purity.

We have place our emphasis on the lesser thing.

It is not the things taken away from a nugget of gold that make it pure, the gold's purity is an intrinsic thing. You just have to get the other stuff out of the way to see it.

True purity is not defined by what we need to lack, but by what we need to possess that is of true value.

Matthew 5:8 tells us: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Here is the call to purity I want to embrace. That if I seek purity, that gold amidst the mess, then I will see God. The promise is not that I will be master over my desires, that will be able to check off a list of things I don't do. The promise is a positive- that I will see God. That I will be in His presence, that I will know Him more purely.

I believe that when we are living to seek God, the sins we worry about, the things that keep us impure, they will be burned away more and more by His presence. We do need to be aware of our sins, and acknowledge them.

But we need to focus more on God, than on them.

"How has attending this church changed you?"--Impact Questions

2011-08-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

I just finished going to the Impact Ministry Fair- part of a incoming freshmen ministry (http://impactretreat.com/) that acts as a Christian Fish Camp (http://fishcamp.tamu.edu/) for students coming to A&M and Blinn. Around 1500 students come seeking a connection with God, and through the ministry fair held on the third day, to connect with local churches and religious organizations. There are three sessions, and I went to the first and third.

And met a lot of people.

One guy hugged me.

It was awkward.

But the most interesting thing, aside from seeing the student's faces grow with excitement the more they mingled the room, was the questions. They ranged from practical, to theological, to (at least to me) funny. Some of my favorites:

-Do you guys meet in a bar on purpose, or was there just nowhere else you could go?
-Do I have to be 18 to attend your church? Cuz I'm only 17.
-Is your church only for people a certain age- cuz it's in a bar?
-So, are you a church or what?

But my favorite isn't really funny. In fact, it caught me by surprise. It took me a second to respond, because I had never had this question asked of me- ever. Not about any church I'd attended or served at. And it should be asked. Often.

How has attending this church changed you?

Now, I'm pretty sure the student thought I was a student also- I get that sometimes- so my initial response was to clarify just who I was (yeah, that was kinda prideful, sorry). "Well, I started the church, so that was kinda a big change."

Now, I realized that was a ridiculous non-answer, and would help this student nary a bit in his search for a church home. So, I followed up with how God has taught me patience, perseverance and to trust in Him. I related stories of how our initial expectations went unmet and we had to lean on God and His timing- which was much slower than we liked. I told of how we were often surprised how God did work. We talked for a few minutes, then he went on his way. I was left thinking about that question.

How has attending this church changed you?

The more I've thought about it, the more I realized just how much the Gate has changed me. It's made me more diplomatic in dealing with people, but also strengthened my desire to never compromise the Gospel. It's made me realize how much I love getting one on one with people and really talking God and our lives-the personal, deeper stuff. It has made me hate apathy in my own life and the lives of those I care about so much more. I've changed the way I view church, and it seems year by year I shed old formulas and start approaching it more freely.

Now, I say it's the Gate that's made these changes- but the Gate and its people are merely the tools, the instruments God uses to mold me. Just like any church. But, the question is still a sound one, and one that we all need to ask ourselves about own church.

How has attending this church changed you?

If you can't answer that- it's time to evaluate. Churches exist to worship and spread the message of God. Inherent in the message of Christ is that we grow and we change. This change is facilitated primarily by the work of the Holy Spirit, but also by the work of the church and our own realizations and acceptance of what God is doing. If you honestly can't say how attending your church has changed you- you need ask two questions: 1) What's wrong with me? And 2) What's wrong with my church? The follow up to both of those is What can I do to change the problem? If it's you- seek God for His insight on what's wrong with you- your failings you can't see. If it's the church, seek God's wisdom on how to lead out in fixing the situation. And with the church- exhaust every effort to reconcile and heal the church- leaving is a last resort. It is because it will do just as much damage to you as it will the church. Churches- even broken ones- need people who are seeking God to make it all right.

So, I leave you with the question- and I hope you can answer it:

How has attending your church changed you?

Prayer, the Original Social Network

2011-08-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

Every morning I got to work, I see people at every stop sign, stop light, yield sign, crosswalk and slow spot in traffic whip out their phones and start texting. At 7:30 in the morning. And I ask myself- Who the heck is awake and texting that early in the morning?

Apparently, a lot of people. Of course, to be fair, as soon as I sit down at work, I log into Facebook, check my email, and try to connect and communicate with people. And millions more Americans do just that on Facebook, Twitter, texting, and Google Plus. But not MySpace. Seriously, does anyone still use that?

I dare say we communicate more with other that any time ever in the history of the world. Some of the biggest companies in the world are based in information technologies- really, it means communications. And they got so big because we all want to share our stories with others and hear from our friends. And it's all ages. Even my great-aunt, who is in her 80's, has an I-Pad so she can use the internet. We can instantaneously communicate with each other, no matter where we are.

If only we had that with God...

Funny, God was riding the communication wave eternities before Apple, AT&T, and those other guys. And God's communication grid never goes down. But I'll stop before I get into the ultra cheesy usual Christian area of "I have knee-mail...heh,heh." The point is a serious one- why do we communicate so voluminously with each other, yet struggle to communicate so freely with God?

The first, and most potent argument to me, is that our social media communication is barely skin deep, so it doesn't cost us anything. The readers of our tweets and texts don't see all the thoughts behind those characters like God does with our prayers. Sure, occasionally people respond negatively to what we post (Just ask any Aggie with friends from Texas Tech or Baylor after this weekend's SEC stuff) but for the most part, its all fluff. With the occasional deep thought. But our prayers aren't- or rather can't be- superficial. Not for long, anyway. Largely because God sees our comments for what they are- their sincerity or lack thereof is blatantly obvious.

Second, we don't think prayer works. Honestly, we don't. Maybe its because we don't get what we want immediately, or in the timely fashion we so desire. We still throw words at God, but our heart isn't in them. We lack what James talks about in his fifth chapter, verse 15- "And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well..." We have little or no faith that God will hold up his end of things, or that He can. At least, that's what happens to us eventually if we allow our prayer life to whither and die. We need to learn perseverance, to keep praying even when its hard- and to not just pray for ourselves and our wants.

Which leads us to the great irony of our culture at large- and the Christian culture in specific. While we as Christians can and do communicate more frequently with each other- and to a degree non-believers- we are not actually any closer than we were before social media. And I believe prayer is at the root of that irony.

Do you pray for each other? And I mean beyond "Lord, bless Joe and his family." Do pray for Joe's spiritual growth and for his struggle with sin, for God's leadership in his life and against spiritual attacks he may face? Probably not. And you have the legitimate excuse that Joe doesn't share those things with you. Because Joe doesn't talk about the deep things- he's like the rest of who want a Facebook level of trust and interaction with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We don't share with each other because we don't want people to know our weaknesses, our failures- or that we really are human after all. But then, Joe may not sure his struggles with you because he doubts- legitimately so- that you don't really pray for him, or care as much about his struggles as he does. I mean, really, do you forget to pray for another person's request as often as I do? Because it's often for me.

We talk a lot about church unity, and feeling like we belong in a church, and having community. But all that is just surface level if we don't honestly, and deeply pray for each other. James give us that command in verses 13 and 14 of chapter 5:

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.

And then, he goes on with this in verse 16:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

We need to be much more serious about prayer- for ourselves and especially for each other. So here is what I've been doing, that I now propose to you. Reach into your pocket, or you purse, and pull out that thing you use for texting

If we want to be unified as believers in Christ, we must pray for each other. It will be hard to do- it's not Twitter, after all. But press on. God desires it. Your brothers and sisters in Christ need it.

You need it.

The Weight of Influence

2011-08-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Davy Crockett was my first hero.

I first learned of him thanks to John Wayne, and later Fess Parker. As I grew older, I learned the true history of the man, and that only served to heighten my respect for him. For years, I'd wanted to see the 2004 film that the clip above is from, and this past weekend, I finally did.

The Davy Crockett is portrayed was still a man of bravery and bravado- but he was something else. Mortal. Parker and Wayne had lived up to the legendary "killed him a bear, when he was only three" kind of hero. Thornton introduced a Crockett that was a living legend a little uncomfortable with the weight of being a living legend. The line in the above clip about what David the individual would do versus what Davy the Legend would do speaks volumes. "But that Davy Crockett feller, they're all watching him."

I'm no Davy Crockett. And while I am a pastor and a sort-of blogger, my influence is pretty small. But I understand what Crockett was saying there- people are watching what I do, and they make their choices, important ones, based on what I do. The thing is, every one of carries that weight, public figure or not.

Your kids watch you. Your co-workers watch you. Your spouse/significant other watches you. And you represent something. Not some mythical legend like Davy Crockett's reputation, but something of eternal significance. If you call yourself a believer in Christ, you are His representative. People- believers and non-believers alike- look to you. Put hope in you, look for answers from you, learn from you.

Buried in the Psalms, there is a verse that speaks so clearly to this. It has stuck with me since I first found it, largely because it serves to remind me that no matter how insignificant I may feel myself from time to time, I have influence. And it is weighty.

Psalm 69:6 says, "Lord, the LORD Almighty, may those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me; God of Israel, may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me."

To me, there are two key parts to this verse. The first is that those who hope in God should not be disgraced because of me. My actions, my choice of words, my attitude- they all reflect on other followers of Christ. My mistakes can disgrace large numbers of people. Don't believe me- think about every time a celebrity who professes Christ does something really stupid. Or when a killer claims to be a Christian and did what they did for Him. Or when a pastor or priest sexually abuses anyone. One person's problem can create problems for all of us. So, our desire should be to live in such a way that we avoid the potential for disgrace at all costs. Know your weaknesses, and fortify your life against them. This doesn't mean YOU fortify EVERYONE'S life against it- that would be legalism. It means owning up to your failures, public and private, and working through them. All will falter, but acknowledging the failure and seeking restoration minimizes the disgrace your actions bring.

The second part is that those who are looking for God may not find Him if my life isn't what it should be. How many people have said something to the affect that, "I'd be a Christian, if it weren't for Christians?" Many people find the teachings of Christ, but when they don't find them lived out in the lives of those who go by His name, the reject Him. More than just when we claim Christianity and do nothing, it's also a problem when we claim Christ and do anti-Christian things. When we are racist, or judgmental, when we are unforgiving, when we are unloving. When we trust politics more than Jesus. When we spew venom instead of praise. People are put to shame because they reject Christ or accept a false version of Him that we are living out.

The Weight of Influence is a heavy one.

It requires us to be selfless, to think more of the one we represent than ourselves. Davy Crockett understood that in the clip above. For himself, he wanted to live. But for those around, those he influenced, he had to sacrifice. He had to stand his ground, knowing what it would probably cost. It pained him. But for Davy Crockett in his final days at the Alamo, he wanted to give no disgrace to those who hoped, and he wanted to allow no shame to fall on those who were seeking victory.

Life is our Alamo- you are our Crockett.

Detoxing a God Addiction

2011-08-05T06:43:00.000-07:00

“I'm addicted to Jesus.”

It's a fairly benign- if corny- declaration made by many a Christian. Heck, I've said it, usually with tongue planted firmly in cheek. It is meant to imply a serious devotion to God, a “I gotta have Him” attitude. It's meant to imply that God is more important than anything else in the world- just like an addict would describe their addiction of choice.

I can see it, really. We talk of spiritual 'highs,' there are key moments in our faith that we are desperate to recreate/exceed, there is a feeling we long for in worship, there is a feeling of let down when we recognize our distance from God. There are Christians that come on so strong they can be offensive (when they are in the thrall of their God-addiction) but they burn out quickly and become unrecognizable. And of course, we all have our drug of choice- or several. Music, mountains, poetry, certain scriptures or whatever you like best- they all take us to that 'high.' And really, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

Or is there?

I first noticed a problem a couple years ago. Mountains were always one of my favorite 'God drugs.' From the first time I skied down one, to the time I stood atop a peak in Rocky Mountain National Park, to the numerous times I'd hiked (recklessly) around steep slopes, I'd worship God so deeply and strongly, and I'd feel so much more alive. High.

But that trip to Colorado didn't leave the same feeling. It was good, but the 'high' wasn't, really. I didn't think much of it at the time. But when music, one of my other “God Drugs” started to slack off in that 'worshipful high' department, I began to wonder. It was confirmed when I returned to Colorado earlier this summer, and again, failed to feel that 'high.'

Of course, I immediately thought that there must be something lacking in my spiritual life that is keeping me back. And I was right, but not how I thought.

Then, Sunday night at church, I was speaking about James 4- Submitting to God. James talks about how we fight each other to get what we want. He says we don't get what we want, because we don't ask God. Then, he drops a bomb.

When we do ask God, we ask with wrong motives, to get what we want for ourselves.

Suddenly, this God-addiction metaphor took on a whole new meaning. We are addicted to God because of what we get out of Him- we are addicted to the HIGH of worship and how it makes us feel.

Climbing that mountain, singing that song, writing this blog- it was done for ME. How it would make me feel. So, the drug addiction rule that the same old high is never good enough was true in my spirituality. I wanted more God because I wanted more feel-good.

Don't get me wrong, I think we should feel good, and enjoy worshipping God. But that is a result of worshipping God, not the chief goal.

But we have made it that.

Church is unfulfilling if we don't hear 'our' song, or the message isn't what we wanted to hear. We do this or that because it makes us feel better about ourselves. We seek purity so we can be a better person- for ourselves, not a higher Power. We are selfish, and as James says, we are adulterous. Not in the sleep-with-someone's-wife way, but in the sells-oneself-to-other-gods way. In this case, the god is us, our wants.

So, how do we detox from that, that desire to feel that spiritual high that has little to do with giving to God and a lot to do with filling my warm fuzzy meter?

James, ever at the ready, has the answer: Submit to God.

Not to the feeling, not to the high we get from serving Him, not to anything we get from Him. Just Him.

It's difficult, I'm already aware of that. Largely, its because we have tied God to His deeds and the enjoyment we get from that. And it is natural to enjoy God, its even good to enjoy God.

So, I'm starting by asking this question of myself- even if I get nothing out of it, will I still love and worship God? Then, I look not at what He has done for me, but at who He is, His character.

Loving, gracious, kind, powerful, creative, wise, holy....you get the idea. Even if none of these attributes benefited me, they are characteristics worthy of praise. That's where I'm starting.

See, the problem is not being 'addicted to God', the problem is we are addicted to what we get out of God. We need look no further that the drought affecting us in Texas right now. We are spending all sorts of time praying for God's grace and rain- are we spending equal time worshipping God even as He withholds the rain?

I know I'm not- because I'm selfish, and I don't want to thank God for my suffering.

Years of feeding my 'good feeling' addiction have led to this thought- and it's time to change. It's time to remember that even if Jesus didn't die for me, He is worthy of praise. That I need to be thankful in the midst of the empty as well as the plenty.

I need to ask God to act not for my benefit, but for His glory.

************************************************

An addendum- Part of the awesomeness that is God is that much of His character is defined by what He does- and what He does for us. God is Love. It is demonstrated by His love for us. So, it is important to realize that devoting ourselves to God implies we will get blessing from it. We can't stop that from happening, nor should we try.

But we still need to seek to pursue God first and foremost, and not for what we get from Him.

What is Wisdom, and Where Do I Find It?

2011-07-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, if I remember correctly, a pastor I was working with told me of a quote from Bill Hybels. In this statement, Hybels essentially said young people could not be good leaders because they lacked several things like experience, education, and wisdom.

And I was immediately angry.

Yes, young leaders can lack experience, that is a given. But I don't think education (at least not the education he is most likely referring to, probably seminary) is necessary for a good leader. And I totally agree that wisdom is needed, but whole-heartedly disagree that wisdom is out of the reach of the young- or anyone for that matter.

That quote, and hundreds like it from established leadership all over the country, is a symptom of a sickness with our understanding of wisdom in today's world. The truth is, most people talk about wisdom like it is something earned, some achieved.

They mistake it for education.

I spent time in seminary. I sat under numerous men and women who had studied their field for decades. They no doubt knew their stuff, and knew more facts and doctrine than I ever will. But only some of them were wise, others foolish. The distinction there was pretty clear, the wise ones sincerely acknowledged their short-comings, that they didn't know it all. The "wise" ones made it all about themselves, about what they knew, about what they'd done.

The Biblical back-up for this is in James 3:13-16:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

I had one professor actually claim he was a better speaker than Billy Graham! The issue was not his actual speaking skills, but the fact that he was boasting of himself. Wisdom doesn't do that.

I'm not just bashing seminary professors here, I've seen it all over the place. Churches have mistaken age and education for wisdom. Often, they look to the guy who has been there the longest, or who seems the smartest to make the deciding stance. Sometimes they get lucky, and that decision is a wise one. But wouldn't it be better if we really knew what wisdom was?

According to James, the first evidence of wisdom is a good life, lived in humility brought on by wisdom. A person of wisdom is not going to be the guy or girl loudly proclaiming their rightness. They are just living it out, and offering help when it is solicited or desperately needed. Later on in James 3, he adds in verse 17 that:

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

If you sum all of that up, wisdom doesn't seek to anger or divide, but rather to bring people together. Wisdom is not harsh or condemning, it does not demand itself be followed. Wisdom lets people choose it, it does not mock those who fail to heed it. It shows mercy. Wisdom rejoices when a mocker accepts its words.

Wisdom sounds a lot like love.

Which brings me to where we find wisdom. It is a lot like love, not just in its character, but in how we receive it. Neither are earned, or achieved, or learned. They are given.

Wisdom is a gift.

We need not look any further than James 1:5 for this proof:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I do not claim to be a wise man. I may have moments of wisdom, but only when I ask God for them. I know some pretty good facts, and think of myself as somewhat intelligent. But these do not make me wise, nor will they ever, even when added to my experience and any education I receive. Wisdom comes to me like it came to Solomon- when I ask God. Just like it can come to you if you ask Him.

But know this- if you are seeking wisdom for your own personal gain, you'll be left empty-handed. Wisdom is given not so we can build up ourselves, but so that we can serve and help others. Wisdom is given to raise a family, lead a church, make good decisions, follow God- and a thousand other things. Each of them is about helping others. If we were to be wise, yet only for our own benefit, then we are not wise. If we have 'wisdom', yet only use it to make others feel bad or dumb, that is not wisdom- it is folly.

Wisdom, like love, is a gift we receive that is meant to passed on, sincerely and for the betterment of others.

The Lightness of Beauty, The Heaviness of Eternity

2011-07-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

      I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.-- Eccelsiastes 3:10-11

I'm sitting in a cabin in Lake City, Colorado.  In every direction, mountain peaks streak toward the sky, some are still covered in snow even in July.  The aroma of pine trees is wafting in the screen door, and if I listen close enough, I can hear the slight roar of a creek swelling its banks and rushing over huge boulders.  On this trip, I've seen hundred foot tall waterfalls, had a picnic with my family overlooking a 12,500 foot mountain lake that was an almost unearthly blue, and gotten up close and personal with marmots, pikas, and deer.  In three days time, I've been hailed on, rained on, and sleeted on.
 It has been the epitome of beauty.
 I've always loved the mountains, from the first time I skied one at fifteen until now as I sit soaking up our last night of vacation.  The mountains have always seemed to speak to me, in a deep way, almost a spiritual, worshipful way.  I can still remember standing atop a peak in Rocky Mountain National Park, and the breathtaking feeling of being able to see for miles upon miles.  I'd never felt closer to God.
 I've loved this trip, the time with my family, and the scenery; but this time, I feel something is missing.  The fulfillment I've felt before from taking in the beauty is far less than what I've known before.  So, in the midst of this feeling of lacking, I came across (yet again) the above passage from Ecclesiastes.  I find it so potent, so deep...so beautiful.  
 It explains something to me that has often escaped me in my life:  This world was not meant to fulfill me.  Entertain me, excite me, encourage me, challenge me, and at times take my breath away, but never should any created thing give me definition, give me true life.
 It took coming to Colorado to bring to the forefront of my mind what has been playing at the back of it.  The fact that I've been seeking fulfillment from everything under the sun, all the beauty that is having its time, and not looking at the One behind it.
 I've been pastoring my church.  I've been writing.  I've been soaking up the adoration of my family.  I've sought out art in the form of music, movies, and television.  In and of themselves, these are good things, beautiful things.  I dare say I'm not terribly unlike most others in this.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  We appreciate most that which we can see and feel.  We are human.  
 And, according to Ecclesiastes, this is the burden God has laid on us.
 Because not only does God give us these beautiful things to appreciate, He also sets something deep, something spiritual in our hearts.  It's something that calls to us, that beckons us from beyond the veil of what we can see.  Something that we are destined to not fully grasp but forever long for.
 Eternity.
 The funny thing is, we all want this, deep down, yet we know so little about eternity.  We know it's a long time.  We know God exists there.  We know He promises us that we will be with Him for eternity if we trust in Christ.  And, we know God “sets eternity in the hearts of men.”  Whatever that means.
 What I believe that means is that God put in our hearts a desire to know more, to seek the deeper things that we don't always understand, to grow bored of lesser things- even if those things are beautiful and good.  In short, I believe God set in our hearts a hunger for Him that will be teased and fed by the beauty of family, mountains, poetry, music and laughter.  The burden we carry is that we will often be mesmerized by these beautiful things, but in them we will never find satisfaction.
 These beautiful things point to God, but we make them the point.  And we miss the point.  For all the praise given to a painting, it is the painter who is deserving of the credit.  The world is the painting, God is the painter.
 As my vacation comes to a close, and I prepare to head home, I'm going to take one long, last look at the majestic peaks that surround me.  I'm going to breathe deep the aroma of pine trees.  I'm going to listen closely to the sound of rushing water.  I'm going to appreciate the laughter and joy of my wife and children.
 But then, I'm going to remember my God.  I'm going to acknowledge the longing in my heart for Him and His love that no amount of His creation can fill.  And I will return to my everyday life forever pursuing the eternity God has set in my heart.

Building a Better Church

2011-07-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

A friend was recently telling me that his church just announced that they'd be building a new building, a bigger building to fit their growth. While it is great that a church is growing so much it needs more space, issues arise. Not everyone will like it, being the key one. But there are costs to be assessed, logistics to be worked out, and, hopefully, much prayer to engage in.

Now, I've been in a few churches that go through building projects. Some were to construct all new facilities, some were simply renovations. All of them paid close attention to the things it needs to make a good building- in other words, the right materials and a good blueprint. As a I listened to my friend talk about his church's plan, it got me thinking about a different kind of church construction, the spiritual kind. See, my current church in a building plan, but we have no desire to invest in bricks and mortar, steel and wood. No, we are at a juncture where we must become very intentional about how we build our church. Here are a few of the things we need to make the structure sound.

Foundation

It may sound like a cliché, but the foundation of a church is the most important thing we do. It must be planted in Christ, His life, death, and resurrection, and His teaching, including the taking part of ordinances (baptism and Lord Supper- the act of doing them, not the manner in which they are done, that comes later). This is non-negotiable. This must be rock solid. A crack here will destroy everything that comes after. Think of Jesus' own parable of the builders who built on sand and who built on rock. The solid foundation is the clear winner.

The problem I find in a lot of churches is that they try to put too much in the foundation. They fill this base not just with Christ, but with denominational history, with tradition, and with preferences that have become dogma without being necessary to identifying with Christ. These things are important, but they are not foundational. The reason is that they are not eternal, unchanging things. Christ alone is. If you put something in the foundation that you later regret, you have to destroy the building to get it out. So keep the foundation simple.

Framework

Once the foundation is laid, you build on it. Several things go into this: Those beliefs that shape the core culture of the church beyond the foundation and the leaders.

These beliefs (probably called doctrine and/or policies by some) are important, but they are not foundational. Baptism provides a great example of how these separate from the foundation. Jesus teaching on baptism as a symbol of salvation- not the actual act of salvation- is foundational. Whether that baptism is by sprinkling, immersion or another means is vitally important to the structure of the church, but it is not foundational. You need to know where you stand as a church on issues like these, but they are not what makes or breaks you in the body of Christ.

Now the leaders. Leaders, as much as the doctrine, give shape to the church. And I'm sure you'd agree when you look at the rise of the 'celebrity' pastor of today. Major mega-church leaders shape so much of the views of their church.

But I'm not just talking about the pastors who lead.

A church cannot survive or really even be healthy if the only leaders are the staff. As a pastor, I'm begging you, if you are so called, to lead out in your church. There are many non-clergy who are as much or more of a leader than the pastor. You lead with your influence, with your skills, with your attitude. If something comes up in church and people come to you- congratulations, you're a leader. And you are part of the framework of the church. Be active, be strong, and be careful. Not all the framework is as important as others- support beams carry the bulk of the weight in a building and are more important than the smaller 2x4s that are also necessary to good construction. Basically, be a leader, but don't overstep your bounds- for your sake and the church's.

And the clergy- they better be solid or their failings and faults- as those support beams carrying so much weight- with bring the church down quickly.

Bricks

The rest of the people in the church who are not leaders are the bricks. They are what the rest of the world sees most often and therefore judges the church by. A house with cracked, dingy brick is judged unappealing by the world. As the bricks, you are the representative of the Framework and the Foundation. You also protect and give strength to the church. You may feel that you are not needed from time to time, but you need to realize that if even one brick were to leave it's place, the whole structure is weakened.

This doesn't mean that your only job is to be there. You must be involved, engaged with the rest of the church. Serve, don't just sit. Find the spot you fit best and do the most and do it. With all your heart. With passion.

Mortar

Without a bonding agent, bricks will eventually fall apart, no matter how good they are. Mortar bonds bricks. In the church, mortar is a combination of love and community. And it is vital that both are present. You can love people from a distance, and you can have community with people you don't really care about.

When love and community come together, you get groups of people who actually want to hear what your prayer needs are. People want to help you through your struggles. People want to share their lives- good and bad. There are many churches out that that have good foundations, good framework, and good bricks. But they fall apart because they don't connect to each other. So, be attentive and eager to reach out to the people around you, whether they are new or old.

Doors and Decor

Remember all those things in the foundation section like denominational history and preferences? They are the doors and décor. They give the church it's atmosphere, it's personality. And they act as doors to allow people in or keep them out. They are aesthetics. Important to the overall finished product, but easily changed if needed. The truth is, some people will “Love what you've done with the place,” while others will hold their nose. If these things become so off-putting, you might want to consider redecorating, as long as the redecorating doesn't damage the rest of the structure, especially the foundation.

Roof

And over all this, must be prayer. Simply put, prayer is the protection that puts the church 'in the dry.' Without it, you are exposed, you are weak, and you will be destroyed. Honestly, this section really ought to be included closer to the beginning of this little 'construction,' but it's here because it needs to be what we're left with. Many churches try to make prayer part of the décor, but it is what encloses and holds together all that has come before: foundation, framework, bricks, mortar, and doors and décor.

Pray for your church, and all the beliefs, people, and actions that make it what it is. Cover each other in prayer. Weather the storms that rise.

My friend's church that is beginning a Church Construction phase has been blessed with growth in numbers. There are many churches that have been down that road- and that is great. But unless they properly construct the spiritual church- the physical building will itself become abandoned and decrepit.

Be wise builders, fellow Christ Followers. Build not with the easy way, the palatable way, or the common way. Build with the blueprint God enlightens you to.

Restless

2011-07-01T07:12:00.000-07:00

For some time now, I've been growing restless.

Now, I don't mean in in the sense that I'm ready to make huge changes like moving or a mid-life crisis/new sports car or suddenly becoming a vegan. But I do mean restless in the sense that when things become too comfortable, I get bored and I want something to reinvigorate me. I've felt this way numerous times in my life, probably the most significant being the time leading up to God calling me to start what has become the Gate. I'd been in the youth ministry for about 7 years, and I'd been in pretty traditional churches. We saw the same Bible studies year after year, dealt with the same issues, saw the same results. Add to that the stirring in my heart to lead a church, and the fact that at 27, with no seminary degree (this means no one would hire me to run a traditional church), and I felt trapped.

So, God led me to a place of restlessness so that I'd start a church in a bar that went to where the people who needed Jesus were- not asking them to come to us.

It seems strange that it's been nearly four years since that time in Colorado when God moved me so powerfully during a message from a guy from Campus Crusade talking about college ministry. His description of a hedonistic lifestyle at a rather 'free living' kind of college broke my heart for a generation I was not so far removed from, yet already sensing a great space between us. In those moments, I knew what I had to do, i just had no idea the hurdles that lay ahead.

Now, we are a three year old church- approaching this fall our 3rd year of meeting at Hurricane Harry's across from Texas A&M. We're about to get through all the red tape of being a fully recognized 501(c)3, about to have an on-campus student organization for the first time, about to get to meet some new freshmen at Impact- a freshman retreat for those looking for God at A&M, and about to generally enter a new stage of life for our little group.

And I'm restless.

So much of what we are as a church is exactly what I'd hoped for- welcoming, standing strong for God's Truth but not being jerks about it, and free to be something completely different if we want to be.

But I'm not satisfied.

I look at who we are and see that there are students who have grown in Christ so much since we met them. But I also see some that have reached a point where they seem to be content to set up camp and just hang out there, never seeking the deeper things of God.

I can't blame them, I'm there, too.

I think it's maybe a combination of burnout on the endless red tape thrown at us by the obligations of the government and other institutions, combined with a low spiritual gas tank from lots of giving and not much getting. I mean that in the sense of not getting the time with God that really fills me, time spent alone with Him in a place of inspiration. There have been a few me in my life- but maybe none more potent and inexplicable than the mountains.

My family and I are going there seeking rest and relaxation- a recharging, if you will. But for me, the goal is a particular mountain. It's called Handie's Peak, and it is 14,048 ft at the summit. And I want to climb it.

I realize we may not make it to the top, but I need to give it a shot. Here's why: I need to be reminded that all the things that have worn me out about starting and leading a church are so worth the view from the mountain. I need to go to a place where I have always felt nearer to God, because I feel distant from Him. And yes, I know God is always with me, but you know what I'm talking about. There are places and memories that when encountered the residue of God's presence is so potent you can feel it.

I need that to face what's coming.

See, when I get restless- God is doing something. There is a longing in me for something more- a God placed longing. For all the good stuff I've seen the last four years- God's vision, provision, and power as well as the hearts of His children blossoming- He's got better up His sleeve.

I want to be ready for it.

Call it a Vision Quest, call it a road trip, call it family vacation. I call it worship. I am seeking to Approach God, to listen for His voice, and to be changed by what I hear. And I can do it just as well hiking up a mountain with my family as I can sitting on a bar stool (or pew, for the rest of you folks) this Sunday. In fact, I'd argue, there are times we all need to worship outside the traditional confines of our church. It gives us a fresh, new perspective on things, a sort of 'wide horizon' view of God. It's God unBoxed. It was good for Moses, Elijah, and Jesus.

So, if I'm to lead my church, I need to seek my God. Wherever He may be. My prayer is that we all grow a little Restless in our pursuit of God- because it means He is on the move.

Published Article

2011-06-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

I was officially published on the Burnside Writers Collective- check out the article here:

http://burnsidewriters.com/2011/06/27/judge-jury-and-entertained/

Spirit Free Daiquiris

2011-06-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

"They talk a good game, but..."

"He's all hat and no cattle."

"She talks the talk, but fails to walk they walk."

"What a wannabe."

Aren't cliches wonderful? Despite being overused (hence the name) these platitudes are also accurate. We all know someone like this. Full of themselves, or advice for you, but they don't do anything. They are brilliant in their own estimation, and they know you better than you. Maybe they aren't jerks about it, maybe they just make promises they never keep, or claim to be something they never actually act like.

There. That's the one. People who claim to be Christians, yet never actually act like one. I know you know this kind of person, because between 75 and 90 % of Americans claim to be Chrisitian. So many surveys and studies have been done to get to this figure over the years, and they all point to the idea that America is a Christian nation. And other cultures have that same view of America as a Christian nation. So, what's the problem?

My friend Rebecca just returned from a trip to Southeast Asia. She was relating some of the things they encountered in this culture, and this one really stuck out to me.

-- Many students there explain that they equate America as a "Christian nation" where they think every person is a Christian. They combine this with the fact that they have never heard the story of Jesus, and think that perhaps following Jesus is just a cultural thing. (Add to this that many students think that our lives in "Christian" America resemble what they see in "Friends" or "Sex in the City" or some other Hollywood portrayal. That makes things confusing for sure!) Pray that they will latch onto the truth that God, their Creator, so loved the whole world, and wants them to be in relationship with Him. Pray for the bold and important witness of believers from this area to share the Truth with their own people. (emphasis mine)

Now, I love the show Friends, but if people think that's what a Christian should act like, we have royally screwed up. Let's put aside the question of the sins they commit- lying, sleeping around, etc. Just look at attitudes. Selfishness, pride, arrogance- are these the attitudes of Christ? The point I'm trying to make is that America seems to want it both ways- to be a Christian nation but not act like it.

And the blame lies not with Hollywood, but with you and me.

For too long, you and I have said, "Yes, I'm a Christian." But we have looked the other way when someone 'less than desirable' asks our help. We have chosen what we want over what another needs- physically, financially, and emotionally. We have failed to put forth our best effort in our relationship with God and with others. We have tried to fit God into our life rather than our life into God.

We claim to have faith, but show no deeds. Or, maybe, we show poorly attempted deeds.

The book of James, chapter 2 spends about twelve verses telling us why its bad to claim faith, but do nothing. He begins by talking about seeing a person poorly clothed and malnourished. It's clear that James is saying we see this, and feel bad for the person, but we instead tell them to keep warm and well fed. I'm not sure if this is just some formulaic salutation given, or the person is 'giving advice.' Either way, it speaks to the fact that we know (by faith) what needs to be done, but we don't do it. Verse 17 says, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
Then, James says that there are those who believe there is one God. I'd argue that is why so many Americans say they are Christian- they believe in the Judeo-Christian God. But it IS mostly cultural, I'd argue. And that even speaks to large numbers of regular church-goers. James' response is that even the demons (the most evil and despised creatures in all existence, next to Satan) believe that. And they shudder. Demons believe in God, and they react. Do you?

James then goes on to explain, via Abraham and Rahab, that faith is made clear by the actions taken out of that faith. They believed God, then did what He asked. It seems so simple. He concludes the chapter in verse 26 with "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead."

Kristin and I were recently at Cheddars, a favorite restaurant of ours. Looking through the dessert/alcohol menu, I noticed a name change for one of the drinks. Suddenly, Virgin Daiquiris were Spirit Free Daiquiris. A fruity drink with all the 'good stuff' taken out.

Isn't that what we Christians are when we talk a good game, but never actually do anything?

We say nice things, things that sound pleasing to people, or challenging to people, but we never actually apply what we say, or what we claim to believe. Our 'faith' is "Spirit Free." Like a dead body. Or a Spirit Free Daiquiri (which, let's face it, is a smoothie).

I don't want you to think this means if we never do anything, we're not really Christians. I believe the Bible is very clear that "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." (Galatians 2:8-9) If this is the case for you, then your eternity is locked down. Why then is it so important that our deeds match our faith?

Because not everyone's eternity IS locked down. And we may be the only Jesus they see. If we are Spirit Free Daiquiri People, all they will get is the watered down, sweet but empty words of a cultural religion, and none of the good stuff.

And unlike the rum in the Daiquiri, the 'good stuff ' of a true relationship with Christ is lasting.

Clique-it or Ticket

2011-06-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

I remember dreading the times when teams were picked at recess.

I was smaller than the rest, and not quite as fast, so I was always toward the end of the 'pick.' I would watch as people slower than me got picked, people who couldn't catch as well (and I was pretty awful), and people who couldn't spell football were higher draft picks than I. Yes, there was favoritism in pick-up football in elementary school.

And yes, there is favoritism in the church.

Oh, it's much more subtle than getting picked last at recess, though. You'll be greeted, told "We're glad you came," and shown where to sit and what to do. We'll probably at least attempt small talk. But then, the favoritism starts. People drift off to their seats, with their friends. Or they turn the conversation to something they feel comfortable with. Inside Jokes, and shared cultural interests eclipse you, the visitor. And you're left standing alone in a room full of people.

My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
---James 2: 1-4

I remember when the way we dressed was a source of discrimination in church. Heaven forbid someone wear jeans. Thankfully, this is passing now, and every service is more of a "Come as you are." But we still judge whether this person coming to visit us is rich or poor. Usually, it's a spiritual judgment: "Are they spiritually strong, so I don't have to work to love them, or is this one gonna be a toughie?"

The honest truth is, no matter how much we try, we will occasionally show favoritism. This is something that even though it is a natural thing for us, it shouldn't be something we do. There is nothing wrong with having some people be closer to you than others, or having a best friend. There is nothing wrong with recognizing those who do good, nothing wrong with people getting more responsibility for serving well. But when we create a wall around us that blatantly or subtly says, "Keep Out!" we are in the wrong. So, I want to ask you to evaluate yourself. Are you showing favoritism- are you putting people off by ignoring or mistreating them when they come to church? I ask because all people coming to church are thinking: "Clique-it or ticket." In other words- they want to belong to something that matters, to be accepted, or they are on the first bus out of your church. (I'm using the word Clique her because of the close knit nature of cliques. By the way, cliques get a bad rep. The good thing about a clique is there is trust and deep relationship. The problem is that when it becomes exclusive, it ceases to serve the Body of Christ.)

Does Everyone Know Your Seat?
In Independence, Texas, there sits a little old Baptist Church. Inside is the pew Sam Houston- governor and president of Texas (not at the same time)- sat at each week. We know, because it has a plaque. This is a common thing even today, where you walk into a church, take a seat and are told that Mrs. Curmudgeon sits there and you better move. She OWNS that seat, after all. OK, so maybe you don't sit in the same EXACT spot every week, but do you sit with the same people? And no, sitting with your family doesn't count as bad. Do you ever make it a point to sit with the new face that walked in? Do you ever even try to sit next to someone who has been attending for a long time, but you've never met?

Visitors who do return multiple times will quickly pick up that that group you're always with is made up of the people that matter most to you. And they'll know they aren't in it, nor will they ever get in it. So be aware, and shake things up from time to time.

Do You Have A-B Conversations (So C Yourself Out)?
Sometimes, a deeply spiritual conversation will occur, and the need for exclusivity is present. But when it's small talk, and the conversation is littered with inside jokes, or deep philosophical views of the beauty of the Wishbone offence, or the most efficient way to defrag a hard-drive, you're picking favorites. This one is so subtle, you probably don't even realize it's happening. You talk about what comes naturally. And if someone there at church shares an interest, you become laser like focused on that interaction. But the new person may not give a rip about the fact that they ruined Batman comics when they made Dick Grayson wear the suit at the same time as Bruce Wayne. So they drift around, or stand there awkwardly nodding like they have a clue what you're talking about.

Church has small talk, it is a key part of growing to know each other. But the small talk needs to be open to new people, broad topics, and something that can include them. If you feel the conversation straying and the person feeling in the dark, steer it back to common ground. If the deep conversation you wanted to have with someone is that important, grab coffee later.

Do You Ever Let People Sit Alone?

If I see a person sitting alone, I try to sit with them. Now, I can only do that until I have to get up to teach, but even that seems to help the person be put at ease. And really, that is what church is supposed to do- make people as comfortable and as prepared as they can be to hear the worship and word of God.

I have been to churches that I felt like an outsider, almost from the word "GO!" I'm greeted at the door, shown to my seat and then forgotten. And to be far, I've seen evidence of this modern day favoritism in my own church and my own actions. It is a struggle to fight those urges to go to what is comfortable, safe and known. Yet, the call of Christ is to open our arms, and our lives, to others. To the misfits, the lost, the awkward, the shy, and yes, the outsider.

I think your weekly gathering for worship is as good a place as any to practice the art of anti-favoritism.

Listen(Trust)Do

2011-06-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

Leslie looked at me and I could tell she was so not going to do what I was telling her. She understood it, but there was some sort of disconnect between her listening and doing.

Kristin and I had decided that this summer we would work on teaching the kids to swim. We bought season passes to the pool, new suits for the girls, and stocked up on sunscreen. Pretty quickly, it was clear that Kenna, the four year old, was content to just hang at the pool, occasionally throwing us a bone by grabbing the sides of the pool and kicking. But toss her a pool noodle and the "Uh-No" face came up. So, patience there. But Leslie, the six year old, she was ready. Last summer she had mastered swimming with the noodle (we don't do floaties), so this was definitely the time. We were making some progress on treading water, and so we moved to learning to float on the back. This is where things went south. Leslie would lay on the water, flat- and stiff- as aboard. She would not lay her head back in the water for some reason, even though she had already gone completely under the water for more than 5 seconds repeatedly. I instructed her to relax and stop being stiff or she'd sink. She'd do that, but the second she felt my hand leave her back- stiff, then sink, then flail. I know she was listening, because she would attempt to do what I said. But when the time came to go into actual action- glub, glub,glub.

I, of course, grew frustrated. It's what I do when things don't go the way I expect or hope. Leslie got upset. The lesson sunk fast.

Later that weekend, preparing for our church's message on listening and doing from James 1, I replayed the scene. Here's Leslie, listening. Here's Leslie not doing. Oh, how that so paralleled: Here's Chad listening. Here's Chad not doing. So often, I read the scriptures, or feel an urge from God, or hear a song or message that is clearly God speaking to me. I listen, get excited, then do...nothing.

James 1:22-25:
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Why do we- and lets face it, we all do this- just listen and not do? Why do churches pack'em in by the thousands, but never affect real change? Why do we read thousands of pages of books- the Bible included- and never apply what we learn? Why do we choose to sink, when we could be swimming?

We fear other things too much and don't trust Him enough.

I saw this in Leslie when she wouldn't do what I said in the pool. I believe my daughter trusts me, completely. But even her depth of trust in me was outweighed by other factors like the water that would go in her ears, not being sure of what floating really is all about, and honestly, probably the fear of "What if THIS is the time my Dad lets me down?"

God asks us to do things all time. We feel that nudge to go talk to someone, or stop and pray or read something specific. These are basic, easy, relatively low risk things. Like me asking Leslie or Kenna to let me carry them on my shoulders, or let me meet one of their friends. Daily things. But God asks us to something new, something we view as unfamiliar or even a little dangerous. If He hasn't, He will. There is a natural, normal, pause we give to that. We weigh the cost of it, as the Bible tells us (Luke 14:25-34). But we only proceed if our trust in God outweighs our fear of the other factors. And honestly, I think even if we have trusted God with the big stuff before, there is a nagging question of, "What if THIS is the time my Father lets me down?"

The truth is, for us to practice Listening and Doing- Trusting has to be a part of the equation. Because ultimately, our own understanding is what can keep us from doing what we've listened to. God's response to that:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Listen to Him. Trust Him. Do as He says.

PS- Kristin took over with Leslie after the failure of my teaching. For some reason, floating on her belly was easier to take than her back. So she'd float for a bit like that. Then I tried something- I told her to kick and move her arms like we'd worked on. She trusted me- because her trust was greater than her fear of the unknown- and took off swimming!

But I'm not giving up on her learning to float on her back.

Trials and Temptations

2011-06-07T10:47:00.000-07:00

They are the tag team of life.

You get hit by one thing after another. The car breaks down. The mortgage is late. You get laid off. You get 5 stitches in your finger, then get a $600 bill AFTER insurance has paid (personal experience there). All these are relatively minor compared to the trials of a divorce, a death or a serious illness of a loved one or yourself. Trials tear your heart, they bend your mind, and they work on breaking your soul. And God's answer to this:

Consider it pure joy.

That's right, God says when life hands you lemons, make the best lemonade known to man. Now, I don't expect anyone to stop praying for their trial to be over, but I don't think we should expect trials to end quickly. They can, but God uses these times of stress to grow us, to mature us. So the question is- what would God have us pray?

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.--James 1:5-6

He would have us pray for wisdom- wisdom to deal with the adversity laid at our feet. And He wants us to pray and believe He will answer our cry for wisdom. This is not a "pray for health and wealth and TRULY believe and you will have it." This is a prayer for the spiritual blessing of wisdom. It's about growing your character, not your dividends. It is about believing that no matter what is going on around you, God desires for you to have victory in the midst of it. God is also telling us something in His command to ask for wisdom:

He knows the next part of the tag team is coming.

See, trials soften us up, make us distracted, make us spiritually weak if we aren't careful. Then temptation swoops in and goes for the kill. When we can say "I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears." (Psalm 6:6) then we are primed to fall into temptation. Our defenses are down from dealing with the other junk going on, and lust, or greed, or selfishness, or lying seems much easier to go to than God. And remember, it's not God who is tempting us- we must remember that. We also must own our own role in falling to temptation.

"...but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed."
--James 1:14

We allow ourselves to ponder, or think on a temptation, then it grows. Perhaps one of the greatest temptations that comes when facing trials is to give up- on rescue and on God. He doesn't seem to answer, He seems to have left us alone. So the temptation is to tell God- "ENOUGH!"

God's answer to that- to any doubting of His character- is "Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created." (James 1:16-18)

God is working for our good. Yes, He inexplicably allows us to suffer- but He offers us wisdom to deal with it. Yes, He allows us to choose temptation- but He offers an unshakable rescue.

So, yeah, Trials and Temptations are tag teaming you. But don't forget who the other (greater) half of your tag team is.

Rotten Fruit (of the Spirit)?

2011-06-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

"Do you ever not smile?"

"I knew you were a Christian because you were always so kind and happy."

I hear these words from my past as I look in the mirror, getting ready for work some mornings. They come from a time when I was in college, and I guess life was simpler. Now these words play behind eyes that have lost a some of that happiness, some of that kindness. I don't smile as much, and I could blame a thousands things for that. I don't meet the new day with expectation, and peace is something that often seems far away. Far too often I replace gentleness with anger. And for self control- I'm trying to give up Dr. Pepper for a trip to Colorado in July. It's not easy.

The problem is: shouldn't those things like self control, peace, kindness, gentleness, joy (which I kinda believes appears on the surface as happiness to other people, although Joy is a much deeper thing than happiness) and all that come naturally to a Follower of Christ? Doesn't the Bible say:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -- Galatians 5:22-23?

For years, I took this to mean if you are not displaying these things from the time you first accepted Christ, you were not genuinely His. Well, that's not true, I never really believed that, but I was around a lot of people who said they felt that way. "If you have the Spirit, you should be displaying them. That's how people know you are a Christian, after all." Don't even get me started on the issue of people making it their business to judge your salvation.

I've started kinda understanding the fruit of the Spirit as, well, fruit. If you imagine the Spirit (aka the Holy Spirit, or Holy Ghost depending on your tradition) as a seed, planted in your heart when you accept the gift of Christ, then imagine that seed grows. Now, no seed is planted then immediately bears fruit, some will grow fast, others slow. This depends on varying degrees to the type of soil it is in, and the environment around it. But over time that seed has shoots that break the ground and grow into a plant- for the purposes of this illustration, lets say a tree. Now, this being a fruit bearing tree, eventually one expects fruit, right? Key word is eventually. I'm no horticulturist, but even I know it takes time for fruit to appear, let alone ripen. The other thing I know about fruit is that it doesn't look like we'd expect it to right away. It grows into the image of the apple or the orange that we know, but it takes time. I also know that a fruit that just hangs on the tree/vine will rot if it is not taken off and used.

With that in mind, the fruit of the Spirit- I believe- takes time to mature and grow. Some people are more naturally disposed to be patient, so that part of the fruit of the Spirit is evident early on for them. That one is not me. By the contrast, for some people there is a horrific pre-Christ life for them that can make joy an unimaginable thing- it will take time for this fruit to ripen. So, I don't expect every person who professes Christ to be fully displaying the entire fruit of the Spirit at the same levels.

I also know that many people who have the fruit of the Spirit but never share it with others become rotten. Their joy fades from view, they lose gentleness for anger, they can't stop doing stuff they know they shouldn't. Fruit must be tended on the tree/vine, and fruit must be tended in our lives. We must feed the fruit of the Spirit, engaging these aspects of new identity that Christ wants us to grow in our lives.

But people will say: "I'm an abrasive personality, that's who I am. I am not gentle." The Spirit comes to indwell us and refine our person- our character. Sometimes the things we think that makes us who we are are actually the things that keep Christ at an arms distance. Distant from us and distant from others. We must not actively fight against the growth of the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, we must recognize that He must become greater, I must become less.

This is not a one time thing, either. Once Joy or Self Control is evident in our life, it doesn't mean we are set. Those fruit can grow rotten, or get used up in serving others, so we need to let the Spirit grow it back in us. In other words, we can burn out, we can grow weary. Not unlike an actual fruit tree that has a season and then new fruit must come, we need restoration, rejuvenation. New seasons.

As I look into the mirror these days, I recognize that if that joyful face from college is not there, I need to tend to the Spirit- I need to spend time with my God, I need to serve Him, I need to worship Him. This is the fertilizer of the fruit of the Spirit.

An Open Apology to Those I Evangelised- reposted from earlier

2011-05-31T14:54:00.000-07:00

If you attended Texas A&M University from 1998 until 2002, and you were ever approached by a skinny guy with dark hair saying he was taking a 'mock survey' and wanted to ask you some questions, I have something to say to you.

I'm sorry.

There was no survey. I had no idea how to share my faith with you, and I was really just trying to get you to change your mind about your beliefs. My heart was in the right place, but my motivations were more about me and less about really caring for you. To be fair, I didn't know you, and so it would have been darn near miraculous for me to muster any personal concern for you other than for your eternal soul. That's a really important thing, mind you, but there is more to you than which God (or lack thereof) you allied yourself with.

I really didn't know that the key to sharing the story of what God was doing with this world was that I first learn your story. I really should been more concerned with understanding your struggles, your needs, the things that you enjoy than I was about getting to talk to 3 people in an hour about Jesus.

See, I just didn't really have time for you in my life. At least not for anything that would have required more than twenty minutes or so. I mean, I had meetings with the ministry I was with to attend, I had Bibles to study, I had songs to sing. Real friends to be with. You were a project, maybe really just an experiment. Had you really wanted to know Jesus, I'm not sure what I would have done with you. I probably would have acted all excited, and genuinely been somewhat excited because when anyone meets Jesus it's awesome, but that excitement would have faded when you and I both realized that being rescued by Jesus means more than just praying a prayer or answering some questions in a theology quiz (or mock survey- really, really sorry about that).

See, you deserved someone that would genuinely want to befriend you for who you are- all your good, bad, and ugly. ( Or pretty, whichever you may have been. But if you were a pretty girl, I might have asked you out- but that's another Open Apology Letter in and of itself.) You deserved someone who would give of themselves to you. Someone who would truly pray for you for more than a day after meeting you. Someone who wouldn't dodge you if they saw you coming because they might have to engage you, and they didn't have a script ready. You deserved someone who wouldn't try to make you fit into their view of what a Christ Follower was. You deserve someone who was less of an elitist.

I've come to see the error of my ways. In part because I've learned to try to see you as God sees you, not as a project, but as a living, feeling person with faults and potential and desires and fears and hopes and dreams all rolled into one. I've also come to see how we Christians can be. We are very self-centered, egotistic and, yeah, elitist. We think that just because Jesus says He is the way to God and no one comes to the Father except through Him that we ourselves are better than others. Jesus is all He says He is, but we are also all He says we are. We are sick, broken, arrogant, filled with lies and false motives. We are weak and cowardly, and we cater to the Big Man On Campus of the churches and organizations around us. We seek more to please them more than Jesus. We play by man-made rules rather than God's.

If I had to do it over again, I would not invite you to join our little club, for that is often how we have viewed church. No, that is a far lesser thing to belong to. I would instead invite you to be my friend, and seek to understand you better. As we grew closer, I would hope that you see something different in me, that maybe I'm a little kinder, a little more hopeful, a little more confident- but not in myself. And I would try to see something different in you- maybe that you are artistic, or very intelligent, maybe even very compassionate- because God sees something different in you. When you asked, or when I had earned your trust, then I might share with you about God and all the amazing things He is and does. I wouldn't be sharing because I had to, I would be sharing because I cared about YOU.

So, let's start over shall we?

My name is Chad, and I want to get to know you.

Finding Jezebel and Losing Hope

2011-05-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life.
                                                                                 1 Kings 19:1-3a

I know Jezebel.

Although, in my life, I call her disappointment, or financial difficulty, or lust, or insecurity. She is waiting around every victory, hiding behind every rising hope. She is waiting to pounce, waiting to crush my dreams and my good feelings.

You know her, too.

I don't know who or what she is in your life- maybe one of the same things she is in mine, or maybe something or someone else- but she is there. She is as real to us as she was to Elijah, and we fear her and run from her just the same.

It seems that for every victory in life, something wants to tear us down.   Have an awesome time of worship and come home to find an earth shattering email. Finally commit to giving God more of your time and love, and then lose your job. Have a great conversation with someone about Christ then hear the news from the doctor and its not good.   I mean, it's almost like we're being opposed!

Elijah certainly was. He had prayed to God and seen fire fall from heaven, just killed 850 false prophets, just prayed for rain to end a multi-year drought and seen the water flow. The next day, he gets that message. He had beaten her, he had proven her gods to be nothings. Yet she threatens him and he runs.

God pursues Elijah, like he does us. He sends an angel to feed and encourage him. Then God speaks to him, not in the wind, or in an earthquake, but in a gentle whisper. Elijah's response? "I'm lonely and people want to kill me. I'm done."

Elijah made several mistakes.

1.  He listened to Jezebel. She had his attention, and she didn't deserve it. I'm not saying we ignore the issues in our lives, our Jezebels, but we do not need to give them our devotion. We do not need to give them a hold or power over us. Elijah had just seen God prove Jezebel a nothing, but still Elijah fears her. He stood up against a nation, 850 prophets, their 'gods' and the king. But the queen? That's just too much.

2. He lost hope. Because he listened to her rather than God, Elijah failed to hear and see what God was doing. He lost sight of God because all he could see was Jezebel. It's easy to lack hope when you can't see it. He had endured much, he had faced the enemy and won. He thought it was over, but it wasn't. When the battle seems never ending, it's hard to hope in a good end for you. Even if our enemy is defeated, the battle still goes on.

3. He didn't listen to God. Twice, Elijah says, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." Both times in response to God asking him why he was at Mt Hebron throwing a pity party. God tried speaking to Elijah, but he wasn't listening. He only wanted to see the bad. That's key. He WANTED to see the bad instead of the good. There are times we don't want to see the good. Why? I really don't know, but it's true. We just want to wallow in our mess.

So, what does God do? He tells Elijah the plan. The plan is to keep on going as planned, but Elijah is being replaced. Elijah is to appoint a new king in Aram, anoint a new king over Israel. Oh, and name Elijah's own successor- Elisha. The moral is, if you lose hope like Elijah did, and refuse to see what God is trying to show you, you can be replaced. God will find a way to accomplish His will, and He wants to use you, but He will not let you sabotage the good He intends to bring about.

Now, Elisha's appointment doesn't meant the end for Elijah (there's grace and restoration at work here). But take a lesson from Elisha. He is farming when he is called. He goes back, and slaughters his oxen and burns his farming tools. He essentially says, "My past is done. Let's move forward." Compare that to Elijah in his pity party who can't look past an enemy already defeated. Perhaps that is a lesson for us as well- learn from and grow from our past. Good and bad. But never dwell on it. Never leave an opening for return to it.

Sometimes looking back over our shoulder at our defeats as well as victories is how we miss the hope right in front of us.

Elijah Part Three: Rain of Fire

2011-05-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

If there is a scene from the Bible I'm dying to see on film this is it. Honestly, Elijah on Mt. Carmel is easily one of my top favorite stories, not just for the big finale, but for the subtle way in which God begins calling His people back.

Picking up where we left Elijah, telling Obadiah he'd meet Ahab that day, we find Elijah keeping his word. And Ahab is clearly excited to see the prophet.

Ahab calls him the troubler of Israel. I can see where Ahab would feel that way, what with the king being so narcissistic and totally under the control of Jezebel. I mean, Ahab, who had turned his family and the whole nation away from God couldn't be the root of the problem, right?

Elijah calls him out, because Elijah isn't impressed with the king or his threats. Or the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah. Who, by the way, apparently belong to some sort of Breakfast Club with Jezebel. Elijah calls for a Battle Royale- he'd stand up for Yahweh like Mickey to Rocky, and the 950 prophets of Baal and Asherah would play cornerman to their Ivan Drago. (Rocky 4 reference for the un-initiated).

Mt. Carmel is the place of showdown, a hilltop near the sea. The two sides will each prepare their altar, then call their deity, and the one who lights the fire is real. Elijah allows the other prophets to go first, they set up their sacrifice, and begin to call on the two deities of fertility. They call. But no one answers. So they begin to dance. Nothing. Like attention hungry kids begging for the parent's eyes to fall on them, they get more dramatic. They start cutting themselves. Silence.

Well, sort of. See, Elijah is off to the side mocking them. Yep, a prophet of God is saying things like "Yell louder- he may be sleeping!" and my personal favorite "Maybe he can't hear you because he's in the bathroom." Elijah does, in the original Hebrew, actually make a potty joke. Seriously.

Now, the crowd- aka the nation of Israel en masse- has lost interest in the Baal and Asherah prophets. Elijah makes his move. One line, "Come here to me." (1 Kings 18:30) Israel has run from God and all his ambassadors for years. They've tried to kill them, in fact. They have pursued a god(s) that was just called out and proven impotent. Now, a gentle, quiet call to repentance is offered. I like to think that God is speaking through Elijah here, and the call to come here is God calling his people back- not with show, not with the works of man, but with grace. And Elijah shows that as he repairs the altar of the Lord- 12 stones that had fallen into disrepair due to lack of use. I imagine a loving and gentle action of setting the stones right with care, and a sense of brokenness that this was even necessary.

With the altar set, he does something...odd. He orders the altar soaked with water. Gallons upon gallons of water. A) Three years of drought- I guess the water came from the ocean. B) He could have done this to discredit any allegations of an incendiary device -provided they knew what that was back then. C) This took guts. Faith of a mountain mover.

An altar set up and soaked. A nation watching with anticipation. And Elijah prays this:

“LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.” (1 Kings 18:36-37)

It's beautiful. It's simple. It breaks my heart. God as the rescuer, God as the redeemer, God as the winner of our hearts. Elijah wants validation- not for his fame, but for God's. Don't we all want God to answer us sometimes? We've laid out our lives for people who refuse to believe time and time again. So we ask God to show up. No, we beg Him. We must want the restoration of others as much as we desire our own, and we need faith that He is true to His word.

Elijah doesn't have to wait. Fire falls from Heaven- consuming not just the wood and the sacrifice (soaked with a multitude of gallons of water), but also the stones and the soil. How passionate is God for His people?!?! (FYI Stone melts at 1500 degrees Celsius. That's 2732 degrees F. ) The people who had rejected God fall on their faces- out of fear, probably, but also with a reverence for the revealed God. They cry out, "The Lord, He is God!"

Then, because of the Law, Elijah orders the nation of Israel to kill the other 950 prophets. The people do, because, well, they saw the fire.

Elijah tells Ahab to grab a snack, and go, because heavy rain is coming. Remember, Elijah said it wouldn't rain for unless he said. And for around 3 years, it hadn't. Then Elijah goes to the peak of the hill, and looks out over the sea. He prays. Each time, he looks for rain clouds. Seven times. Finally, a tiny cloud appears on the horizon. He sprints down off the mountain, as rain begins to pummel the parched and dry earth beneath his feet. Ahab, who had lolly-gagged a bit, watches from a chariot as Elijah runs- and I imagine laughs and cheers- ahead of the king.

It is Elijah's crowning achievement. The nation is looking to Yahweh again. Ahab is humbled. The prophets of Baal and Asherah are dead. One man stood for God. All he did was seek the Lord with reverence, and trust in Him.

What if we were more like that?

Elijah Part Two- Stand Up

2011-05-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

Elijah trusted God.

Elijah got a widow and her son to trust God.

Meanwhile, a dude named Obadiah is trying to survive. He's not starving or dehydrated (I don't think) but he is playing a very dangerous game. See, while Elijah is 'training' for his heavyweight fight, Obadiah is still covertly trying to protect those loyal to God. The problem is, Obadiah is Ahab's palace administrator. Like, Chief of Staff to the wicked king. He'd hidden one hundred prophets in caves from Jezebel- who we are kinda getting the idea that she wears the pants in the family- and supplied them with food and water. In 1 Kings 18, Obadiah is doing for others what was done for Elijah in chapter 17.

The drought is bad by now. Bad enough the king himself is going out looking for any grass they can find for their horses and mules. He goes one way, Obadiah goes another. And who does Obadiah run into (actually, it's more like who was Obadiah found by)?

Elijah.

God told him to present himself to Ahab, so Elijah finds Obie. And Obie is not happy to see the prophet.

See, Ahab was looking for Elijah. Like send out the CIA, FBI, NSA, Mossad, and Interpol looking for. Looking under rocks and in caves of every nation, Elijah could not be found. Now here is Elijah, telling this devout spy for God to go tell Ahab he was there. Obie is understandably worried. See, even back then, you could find people. Sure, they didn't have satellites, or GPS, or Google Street View, but it was hard to hide from the king, especially when the king knew what you looked like.

But not Elijah. Its as if Elijah was hidden supernaturally. So Obie brings this up, asking what is keeping the Spirit of God from whisking Elijah away as soon as he tells Ahab where to find him. Because if that happens, the jokes not on Ahab, its on Obadiah. And the joke is a noose.

I don't doubt that Obie trusted God- he wouldn't have hidden those prophets at risk to his own life if he didn't. And its clear Obie knew Elijah, but the question was: Can I count on this Man of God?

It's a good question for us today. Can we trust each other? Can we trust our spiritual leaders- our pastors, teachers, deacons, writers, etc.? All of us, regardless of our importance to the world, say things, bold things. But do we back them up? I mean, do we honor our commitments?

Most of the time, in the small stuff, sure. But what about commitments that may cost us- do we honor them and the people they are with- or do we leave them holding the bag?

A prime example is volunteerism in the church. Churches beg and plead for people to help them. People that joined the church saying they wanted to further the kingdom of Christ. If they do help, it is often grudgingly so. More often than not, the buck gets passed, and our own personal Obadiah is left holding the goods.

Obadiah is afraid Elijah will bolt, because Ahab intends to kill Elijah when he finds him. And human nature would support Elijah for the self-preserving act.

But Elijah instead does something awesome. Something not at all supernatural. Something we all could stand to do from time to time.

He stands up.

He assures Obie that he will, that very day, present himself to Ahab. He will face the music. And his actions will keep Obadiah from trouble. Elijah, in effect, is stepping up to protect Obadiah. Not just by meeting Ahab, but by putting an end to the whole thing. See, Obie couldn't hide those prophets forever, Jezebel and Ahab would find them, and Obadiah would die for treason. But Elijah takes the spotlight, takes the target, and calls out the king. What comes next is far more famous, far more storied. But this interlude shows the character of Elijah.

He is a man of his word. And he respects his brothers and sisters in the Lord, just as he respects the Lord Himself.

He stands up. Makes a choice. And follows it through- no waffling.

I know I'd love to be more like that.

Elijah Part One - Learning to Trust

2011-05-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

I like Elijah.

He dresses funny ( camel skins), says bold things, does even bolder things, and loves to buck the system. He's also a bit of loner, which I kinda dig.

The main reason I like him, though, is that he is human. He is given to fits of pride and ego, depression and mania; he does good, but makes mistakes. He doesn't care if he offends, but deeply desires that people listen to what he has to say. So, I want to take a look at his life- I think there is much to learn from this mysterious prophet of God.

Man From Nowhere

Tishbe is the hole inside the hole in the wall. As such, it is not a place that is easy to find on a map. Any map. Not even a map that existed in Elijah's time. Scholars aren't sure exactly where Tishbe is, of if that is the real name of Elijah's hometown. Yet, it is how we are introduced to one of the most important prophets of all time.

In 1 Kings 17, we get his story's beginning. He comes from Tishbe- aka Nowhere- and his first words are addressed to no ordinary person. No, he speaks to the King of Israel. Ahab. Husband of Jezebel and general bad dude. Ahab had, with his wife, led Israel into idolatry with Ba'al and Asherah- regional 'gods' of fertility and stuff. So what Elijah had to say was a pointed attack on not just the monarchy, but on the gods they clung to so tightly:

"As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word." (1 Kings 17:1)

Elijah called out Ahab and Jezebel, but he also called out the god of fertility and crops: no rain = no fertility for farming. Needless to say, Elijah becomes public enemy number one.

So, what does one do when one has a bounty on their head?

Birds and Brooks

You and I might find an army. Or at least a strongly fortified hiding spot. Elijah listens to God, and he goes and grabs a spot of land by a brook. A small little flow of water, trickling over rocks. I'm guessing its not well hidden. And for the next period of time, Elijah has water to drink and is waited on by ravens. They bring him his food. Now, I'd be reluctant, what with bird flu and all, but not Elijah.

He is learning to trust God.

This little episode is pretty uneventful, but it teaches us this: trust God. The rest of Israel, remember is in the beginning throes of drought. Food is becoming more scarce, water even more so. Yet Elijah wants for none of that. God is providing for his needs. How often have we had just enough to get by, yet complain that its not more. For me, that's pretty much daily. Yet God has yet to let me go hungry or without water. And I even have shelter- something Elijah probably didn't. Not that he needed it- what with the drought and all.

Miracle Jars

As is likely to happen with droughts the water dried up. But then God told Elijah to go find a certain widow woman and ask her for water and bread. He does without question. See, he'd learned to trust God, even when the command or promise seems...odd.

She is found, and Elijah asks for water. As she goes to get it, he asks for bread. She informs him that the last of her flour is about to be used for hers and her son's last meal. Then they will die. This means the drought is real bad. Elijah tells her that if she first makes him some bread, God will keep the jar of flour and bottle of oil full.

See, this is not about Elijah learning to trust God- he's got it. It's about the widow. Once we learn to trust God, it becomes our obligation to teach others by modeling it with our lives. The widow listens to Elijah, and the jar and bottle stay miraculously full.

Supernatural CPR

Not too much later, the widow's son become mostly dead (ref. to Princess Bride, for those in the know). Irate, the widow begins attacking Elijah and God over bringing this tragedy upon her house. She responds as most of us would when pushed too far. But that's just the case, God pushes us to see if we really do trust Him. Some of us need only to have our needs met like Elijah at the brook. Others have to be brought to the brink. They have to be willing to give it all. The widow has to be willing to trust God with the thing most important thing in her life- her son. Elijah says he can save the boy, she has to trust him AND God to keep their word.

Elijah takes the boy, lays him down, and then lays on top of him three times. Weird, right? But you know what, the boy gets up. He's alive, restored and better. And you know what, the widow is as well. She praises Elijah and God, saying:

“Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth.” (1 Kings 17: 24)

Trust Me, Trust God

We ask people to trust us, so that they may some day trust God.

I would wager that more people turn from God because they don't trust the ones who bear His name- you and me. We need to learn to earn people's trust- not so we can be liked or popular or win their approval- but so that they will be willing to hear us out on God.

Ultimately, a persons choice to choose or reject God has nothing to do with me, I realize that. But they are on a journey to that choice and I do not want to be a detour. Instead, I want to be an Elijah, one who trusts God and points others to trust in God.

With my words AND with my actions.

Gate Video Blog.

2011-05-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

First attempt at a video blog/promo for our church, the Gate.

Commissioning

2011-05-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Its the time of year when college students graduate. Or go home for the summer. Or get internships. Or go on mission. Or work at a camp. Or- well you get the idea.

Being that college students are the bulk of our church, normally I find this time of year kinda stressful. With most of our congregation gone, questions of whether or not to keep meeting at the bar and who else can we invite to join us begin to weigh on me.

That's normally.

But this year, the students going out from the Gate are going out seeking God and seeking to share the love of God. They are going all over the world, literally. So I want to take a chance to offer them up to you, as examples, and for prayer.

Staying somewhat locally, Rachel and Lindsey are working with Impact- a retreat for incoming freshmen at A&M that is not unlike Fish Camp. The difference is that Impact is intending to point these fish toward Christ, providing them opportunities to meet other believers and learn about churches and organizations that honor Christ. Rachel and Lindsey are going to be key in speaking into the lives of those students.

Neil will be bound for California and an internship with an engineering firm. He is seeking to let God grow him through this experience, and to be challenged by God to trust in Him more. He is also hoping to be an example of Christ in the lives of co-workers and fellow interns.

Nate is bound for Southeast Asia to work with English Language classes. He is going with his home church and they hope to reach the people of this area with the hope of Christ. They need prayer for protection, wisdom, and boldness.

The last group of students I ask you to pray for are our graduates. We've had graduates before, but most have moved on with their post-graduate careers here at A&M. Jessica will be graduating and going to Med School here at A&M this fall. Joseph will be graduating and seeking his career in the Financial field. Mitch and Lauren have been with us since almost the beginning, but they will be heading off to seek their future- Lauren in the Metroplex to continue her education and Mitch is seeking a possible internship in Washington DC.

As Christ sent the disciples out, telling them they had His power and authority, He now sends these young people out in His Name. Pray for them. They will be His ambassadors to the nations.

But then, so are we. You and I. We are called to be His ambassadors- to the ends of the earth and even in our own homes. As much as we want to celebrate and remember those who are seeking these adventures, we must remember that there are lost souls, hungry people, and believers who need love and attention right here with us. All around us.

So we are all commissioned. And we all have His authority and power.

"He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”
-- Luke 10: 18-20

Let us go forth. Let us speak of Him. Let us see miracles happen.

But may we rejoice because we are known by Him.

My Thoughts on Bin Laden

2011-05-02T08:11:00.000-07:00

I really thought I'd react differently.

For almost ten years now, I've wanted Osama Bin Laden to be brought to justice. Like most Americans, I viewed him as an enemy, a threat to our lives and our philosophies. At times I'd go so far to say that I had a desire for his death to be particularly awful. He was responsible for the deaths of thousands- either by his own hand or by the commands he gave. He killed Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindis, Atheists. He killed Americans, Europeans, Middle Easterners, Asians, Africans and countless other nationalities. He was as close to monster as a human can get. In many ways, he and Saddam Hussein were our generation's Hitler.

I am glad our soldiers and our government finally got him. In a way, I am glad he is dead. But as I watched the news conferences last night, and the video of Americans reacting, I was not overjoyed, I was not exuberant. I was sad. I was conflicted.

For the families of the victims of 9-11, and before that all the terrorist acts this man committed, I was happy. They got human justice- a violent man died violently. For our troops that have fought this war for nearly a decade, I was proud. For our nation that was seeking closure of a long gaping wound, I was satisfied.

But something was bothering me.

A man was dead. Though I don't know what his final spiritual condition was, unless there was a last gasp of repentance that we'll never know of, I feel pretty sure Bin Laden is in Hell. This is what was giving me pause at first. Then there were the jubilant celebrations by Americans. Then, a verse of Scripture surfaced in my mind.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." --Matthew 5:43-45

But for Grace, I'd be a Monster, Too
Over the years, my understanding of sin has changed. I've realized more and more my own depravity, my own penchant for doing terrible things. I've not mass murdered anyone, or stolen anything tangible, but I have done things that hurt others. Harsh words, painful actions, and stolen trust. I can be selfish and cruel. I am, by these deeds and more, worthy of Hell. But, I've met Jesus, and I've given my life to Him by accepting His Grace- His Sacrifice in my place. From what we know, Osama Bin Laden never did that. If he didn't, then he is in Hell for rejecting Christ- a rejection that I believe is the root of all the rest of his sinful (and ours as well) actions. A man, doer of evil that he was, is in Hell. A man created by God will suffer for eternity for his choices- and they were his CHOICES. I cannot gloat over this. I am no different from Bin Laden, from Hussein, from Hitler. My sins deserve the harshest punishment. But my choice to accept Christ rescued me from Hell. I did nothing to deserve this and everything to deserve Hell. So I cannot gloat over Bin Laden's eternal fate.

Hypocrisy
Every time Americans die and we see scenes of jubilant crowds of radicals chanting and laughing and cheering 'Victory!' I get pissed off. They spit on the graves of brave men and women who fought hard for what they believed, they dishonor people I esteem as noble. Yet, when we hear of the death of their leader, we cheer and spit upon HIS grave. I was upset by those images much the same way I was upset by the images of the terrorist radicals celebrating. I felt that many of us are angered over seeing our enemies doing the same thing were doing our own happy dance over this. Are celebrations justified? Absolutely. But we must be better than that. I see celebrations like the one the mother of a victim of 9-11 had this morning. She was pleased, thankful, and content- but she was respectful. I saw two gentlemen who lost family and friends in the Towers that day. They were glad he was dead, but somber in their expression of it. I agree with the words of President Obama- "Justice is served." In our human eyes, yes this is true. Bin Laden is in the hands of God's Justice now. Let us be the better people. Let us be respectful.

Praying for the Enemy
I can recall a handful of times that I prayed for the salvation of Osama Bin Laden. To me, the greatest justice possible would be for him to find the errors of his ways and turn to Christ- then accept the punishment due him in this life. Jesus told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Then He lived that out when He said from the Cross- "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." I pray today for the thousands (or more) followers of Bin Laden. They too can know Christ- it is not impossible for God (Matthew 19:26). Make no mistake, these people are our enemies. They despise our culture, hate our Savior, and want many of us dead. Should we then debase ourselves to their level and wish them dead? Or should we rise above that fray, live the example of Christ, and hope for their rescue from a life that leads to Hell?

I cannot tell you what to feel or believe or do in light of this event. I can only share with you my struggle, my view of this historic happening. I am glad for the victims of Bin Laden, for our country, for our armed forces, and for the world that a man who did such evil is gone. Yet I am broken over the fact that Hell awaits all who reject Jesus- be they your neighbor the banker or Bin Laden the terrorist.

With that, I ask that you seek to see this as God sees it. That you soberly look at the reality of our choices. Yes, he deserves to rot in Hell.

But so do I.

My sin made Jesus' death necessary. I am guilty.

But by His blood, I am rescued- that makes all the difference.

The Grace of the Empty

2011-04-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe we focus on the Cross so much because it's easier to explain.

That goes all around- I mean, as a symbol, the Cross is much easier to recognize than an empty tomb. It is simplistic and easily recreated in image form. Then there is the idea of the Cross- that it is where a man died in our place. Sacrifice is an idea that every world culture understands- from pagan gods demanding human sacrifice to appease them, to the Jewish belief of animal sacrifice and giving of the first fruits from the Torah, to the samurai's sepuku (aka hari kari) which was sacrifice that could restore lost honor. We get that Jesus died for us because, even if we don't agree that we needed it, we understand why He would do it. And if you don't believe Jesus was the Son of God, then you can still grasp the weight of His death as a martyr.

But the Resurrection? That's another story. Quite literally.

See, Jesus coming back can seem almost superfluous. I mean, He died an unjust death for our sins- we are forgiven by the wounds He received (Isaiah 53:5). The separation we experience from God, as symbolized by the curtain in the Temple hiding the Holy of Holies, is gone (Mark 15:38). Jesus offers us forgiveness, even if we don't know what we are doing (Luke 23:34). And then, to cap it all off, Jesus says, "It is finished." (John 19:30) All that work is accomplished ON THE CROSS. So, why did Jesus rise?

I think the answer is simple. While the Cross was about the work needed to accomplish the Will of God, the empty tomb was about something else. We get the Cross because we get the idea of a system of justice- balance. Evil is punished by God, even if the punishment is given to a substitute. We may not get why Jesus chose to die for the wrongs done against God (actually, using that idea, Jesus died for the wrongs done against Jesus as well) in our place, but we can wrap our heads around the idea that a wrong had to be punished. The Cross was the fulfillment of the Law. Sin was punished. Slates were cleaned. "It is finished."

Then, if the Cross is about the work, then the empty tomb is about grace. And we do not understand grace.

Sure, the argument is valid that the Cross was about Grace as well- it was. But the Empty Tomb took it to a whole other level. Up until Jesus went into the tomb, Christianity had a figurehead that was not unlike any other religious leader in all of history. He had died for His people. In fact, had He not risen, the argument that Jesus is the only way would be rather deflated. The Resurrection was pure Grace. It could not be accomplished by the sheer will of man, nor his work, nor his schemes. No man- save for Jesus and a couple God fueled prophets- could bring another back from the dead, let alone bring themselves back. Every other person who died and was resurrected was brought back by another person.

Jesus just got up.

Unlike the spectacle of the Cross, the Empty Tomb was rather quiet- even with the angels and the earthquake and the terrified guards. No one saw Jesus walk out, but they saw Him later, ate with Him and touched His scars. Some of the people who saw Him didn't even recognize Him until He had gone. He was physically alive (eating and drinking and being touched) but appeared and disappeared at will.

The Cross, for all its horror, gore, and sacrifice makes sense to us. The Cross does not.

But then, Grace escapes us as well. Getting what we don't deserve (in the positive sense, at least) is not natural. Yet, this is Grace. Getting life when we deserve death is how Grace breathes into our lives. We understand working hard for rewards, but don't have any idea what to do with riches we get that are unearned. Google lottery winners sometime for validation of that theory.

Legalism is more comforting to us because it provides a way we can 'earn' our grace. Simply having Grace bestowed is counter to human rationale. But then, it was human rationale that made the Cross necessary wasn't it?

The Empty Tomb is what Grace does with the Cross. While the Work was done on the Cross, it is the Empty Tomb that takes our forgiven souls and gives them life- a second chance. No, the Empty Tomb is not superfluous, or a really cool after thought. It is essential to Will of God. If we deny that Jesus rose, then we deny the second chance we are given. If we accept all there is to know about Jesus from birth to Cross, but balk at the Resurrection, we deny Him as our Lord and Savior. We refuse our second chance.

And what a second chance it is. No longer based on working to meet a standard that we'll never reach, we live by Grace. Yes, we long to be a better person, to know Christ more, but we do it by Grace, not our own strength. And to be honest, even for me that doesn't make sense sometimes.

But I need only look at the Empty Tomb to be reminded that just because something doesn't make sense doesn't mean it isn't true.

The Cross

2011-04-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

I don't wear crosses anymore.

I have a ring I got when I was in college that I've kept, but I don't buy shirts emblazoned with a cross or wear necklaces that dangle a silver shape down the front of my shirt. Part of the reason for this is that I just don't find the cross terribly fashionable. But a big reason is that the cross as fashion has no meaning to me.

I've noticed, especially since the early part of the 2000's, that the cross is a growing symbol. Ed Hardy-esque shirts have the cross in the midst of tattoo like graffiti. James Avery made the cross jewelry fad super popular- its where my never worn ring came from. Now one can find crosses fashioned with baubles of all colors, shapes and sizes, from pink to black. I see celebrities wearing their crosses and talking about who made them. Cross tattoos are common on rappers, rockers - usually seen on arms extending a middle finger or knocking back large quantities of liquor - and athletes.

I don't wear crosses because they don't mean anything anymore.

Not theologically, of course- they will always have meaning for me there- but in the public eye the cross is just decoration. I remember a class in college that talked about how a culture group or ethnicity would take a slur, a negative nickname, and claim it as their own. In doing so, they lessened the sting of the vulgar word to the point their bigoted enemies would stop using it because it had no affect on them. Christianity co-opted the Cross and made good use of it for a couple thousand years, turning the image of a death instrument into a symbol of hope. But now, the over-saturated image has lost it's punch.

The cross used to bring to mind forgiveness, rescue, sacrifice, despair and hope. Once, a wearer of a cross was identified WITH the Cross- no person who didn't believe would wear it. The Cross was a definer of us. Now it is an accessory.

So, with Good Friday coming soon, I've been thinking about the Cross. About how I won't wear a cross until my view of the Cross is right. If I ever put one on again, I want it to be a reminder of the horror of that day. Of the copious amounts of blood that was shed. Of the torn and mutilated flesh of Christ as He hung there, shedding more forgiveness that He shed blood and sweat. I want to remember that it was my sin that made Him choose to die this way, on this barbaric death-torture device. That it was me He forgave for not knowing what I was doing. That when He finally breathed His last, and said it was finished, He was really just beginning.

I want to once again look at a cross and be reminded of Christ, not a designer. I want to be broken, shattered to the point of tears when I gaze upon the horrific and beautiful Cross. I want to to be shocked out of apathy when I see that symbol that speaks deeply of Jesus love and sacrifice for me.

I want to wear a cross again only when it means as much to me as it did to Jesus.

Art in Me

2011-04-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

I lack art in my life.

Now, I'm not an art lover- or an artist in the professional sense- but there are times when an image catches my eye, or a thought snags hold of my consciousness, and I see something deeper there. I'm not an artist with paints or sculptures, and while I like taking somewhat artistic pictures, its not really a deep heart kind of art. Despite the pitiful rhyming in that last sentence, I feel the art I make is with words. Writing and speaking. I like the idea of having a concept enter my mind and finding a way to convey it to others in an understandable and beautiful way.

That's really what art is- having a notion planted in one's mind and desperately trying to share with the world this thing that has come to consume their lives- even if the time of consumption is for a few minutes while they bang out a message. I think good art comes from a sort of compulsion or need to pour out that which is inside of you. And which you often don't fully understand even as you create it.

When I think about it that way, I realize that when I am closest to God is when I am seeing the art in things. The complexities of a person, the beauty in sunsets or architecture, or the depth of a story all create art in me that cries to escape. I seek God, asking why I've seen this thing, experienced this wonder, and then seek to share with others how it has affected me.

Lately, I've not had my art-eyes on. I've felt rather bland in life, distant even. I'm not sure how it happens, but there is a melancholy that sets in from time to time. It saps my zest for life- for real, good life that is- and replaces it will hollow pursuits. Time wasters at best, God nullifying sin at worst. Some artists do their best work in their melancholy- but for me it is the hope of restoration that produces good in me.

And I'm not just talking about creating art like paintings or writings, I believe we are living art, the way we live with each other, the way we love and care for one another, and the way we attempt to share the love of the One who first loved us is our art- regardless of our skill with a brush or pen. So, when my art eyes are off, it's not just my writing that suffers- it is the life I live.

So often, I am aware of the beauty around me, but I don't see it. More often, I see the wonder of God's work around me, but I don't understand it. Usually, I am caught in this weird in-between place where I am captivated by the temporary stuff I see now- which is beautiful- and at the same time hungry for something more, something deeper and more eternal. This is God's fault.

I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end
Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

The reason why all art doesn't appeal to all people is that some people can't see a Picasso the way Picasso intended them to see it. Yep, I'm one of those people. We can appreciate the beauty of the colors, and we can sense there is something he's trying to convey, but we grow frustrated and dismiss it because we can't understand it. God made everything beautiful in its time, yet somewhere deep in our hearts is a longing for more. A feeling that this thing so captivating is seriously less than what we desire. On the other side, we spend our days at work and struggling to make ends meet, and stay healthy, and we know that that Jesus came to give us more. We long to live a life that matters, to TRULY make a difference.

And so we are artists, all of us. God places in us this idea of eternity that we don't understand, yet we feel compelled to share this thing inside of us with others. Others we feel won't understand us, or will put down the "art" we show them. And then there is the beauty of the "Now" things (and here, I'm talking about the good things that God has made beautiful). How can our "art" compete with that?

We are stuck between here and eternity. Our choice is to be frustrated with that reality, which will ultimately lead us to give in to the lesser things that are not beauty by God because they are easier- Or we can make "art." Not for the approval of others, not even really for our own validation. No, we make "art," pouring out the hard-to-understand eternity God placed in our hearts to the best of our ability. And yes, some will see our "art" as jumbled shapes and jibber-jabber, just like some people see Picasso's art, and not get it. But there will be others who get their own glimpse of the eternity God placed in their heart, and they will seek more of it.

We do this to glorify God.

For a while now, I've not glorified God with my life. I've stopped seeing the art of eternity, and settled for the muted tones of this world. Occasionally, art comes out of my life- that just shows the power of the gift God has given us.

But just the other day, I was walking down the street, and I saw an old Courthouse. In the light, the old bricks and years of wear and tear were peeled back, and I could see something deeper to it. I wished I had a camera to try to capture that moment of deeper beauty.

And God tapped me on the shoulder and said, simply, "This is you." Deep within me, under the layers of sloth and sin, eternity is bubbling up. I may not understand what it all means, but I must share Him with you. And I must put down the lesser tools of self-gratification and take up the tools of reavealing God.

Let's make art.

No Pain, No Holy

2011-03-31T11:10:00.000-07:00

In about 17 days, some friends of mine and I are going to do Warrior Dash. For the unaware, we're going to run about 3.5 miles, crawl through mud, over round hay bales, under barbed wire and jump fire. Then we get a cool hat:

So, I've been preparing. Sort of. Mostly on the strength training end of things, not so much on the running. Running simply isn't terribly enjoyable to me, and I don't get the immediate results I get from the strength training. Do a few hundred reps of pushups, curls, etc in 30-40 minutes and you see results right away. Run for 20 minutes and you get sweaty, and for me, painful knees. So, because it is not fun and because it hurts me, I don't run. I may regret this come April 16.

Discomfort- dare I say suffering- is a part of working out. The whole, "No Pain, No Gain," mantra is based on this idea. I enjoy the strength training, so the pain is able to be dealt with. Not so with the running, so it is deemed not worth it.

But, what of our pursuit of holiness? Are we willing to suffer to achieve it?

I've recently read a couple really, well, painful, passages about dealing with temptation. 1 Peter 5:8-10 says,

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

The idea of Satan looking for us is bad, but that he also wants to devour us? He will do this by tempting us, and we will be devoured by our own sins. Unless we resist. And Peter tells us right there that our resistance will bring suffering. It will hurt to tell our urges "NO!" It will be more attractive to give in to them than to hold out against them. I believe it is why we fall.

In the moment of temptation- be that for lust, or selfishness, or passing by a person who needs help, or whatever- we choose the path of least resistance. We think it would be better to ask forgiveness than to fight it off and do the right thing. We don't do the right thing because, in that moment, the right thing is the least attractive, most painful thing. To us, there is no way out.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says there is.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

What we fail to realize is that the pain of doing the right thing will not kill us. Unless, of course, that right thing is to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of another or for God. God does not want us to fall to temptation because He wants what is best for us, so He makes a way out. But how does God- perfect, Holy, sinless God- know how to overcome?

Hebrews 2:17-18
For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Catch that: Jesus suffered when He was tempted. I have this tendency to think that it was easy for Jesus to say "NO!" when tempted. That He didn't have to muster any strength at all to deny that which was offered. But He did suffer when tempted. It had to be hard for Him to resist temptation, or He would never understand and relate to how we suffer. Jesus didn't just sacrifice Himself on the cross, He did it daily. I think of those times when sin is staring me down, temptation is rising. There is a sometimes physical pull, a dropping sensation in the stomach as my heart goes to war with my flesh. "Look at this," or "Go ahead, say that hurtful thing, " or "Just walk on by that guy, he doesn't matter." These thoughts, these urges, these temptations make me suffer. Giving into them makes me feel better. For a second. Then conviction. Knowing I selfishly chose the easy way out. Knowing Jesus had the same temptations, but chose to fight them down because He loves us makes Him so much more appealing.

So much more worth it.

If we want to be holy, if we want to be like Christ, we must be willing to suffer the pain of overcoming our desire to appease our flesh. We must be willing to suffer that knot in the stomach as we struggle over doing the right thing.

No pain, no holy.

That is what that big, fancy church word "sanctification" is all about. The process of being grown and pruned by the work of the Holy Spirit into a holy creation. It is letting the voice of the Spirit win out over the voice of the temptations.

It is about trusting in Christ- who suffered as we do- to win out in our hearts over lesser things.

ReLive

2011-03-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

I've said it before, but I am not a morning person.

I exist in a semi-conscious state until 10 a.m. or so, and as such, spend a good portion of the morning sleepwalking through life. Multitasking is out of the question, and answering questions that require thought beyond multiple choice is a long, drawn out event. Essentially, I'm useless until late morning.

Now imagine living life that way. In a constant fog, we walk through- limp is a better word- bumping into people and things and never quite grasping what is going on. It's bad enough when this occurs in our physical life, but all too often, this is the constant state of our spiritual life.

Maybe it was a loss of faith, or a routine that became a rut, or assault after assault by negative events. Whatever caused it, your spirituality has fallen asleep- it has become dead. It gets really scary when this complacency becomes apathy- and you don't care if it gets better. That comes when you either really lose faith, or when you grow satisfied with where you are.

Both of those lead to spiritual death.

Jesus brought a dead man to life. Lazarus was physically dead- very dead. Four days dead. As the Munchkin Coroner said in the Wizard of Oz, "She's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead." Lazarus had a family who loved him, yet they had given up hope that he could be healed. Wouldn't you? Mary and Martha have become spiritually dead- they give all the right answers, but when reading their words, they seem...hollow. The story of Lazarus is as much about his resurrection as it is theirs.

Jesus enters the scene and speaks of being the Resurrection and the Life. Then He gives it. Lazarus comes out of the tomb, and Mary and Martha are given a spark to resuscitate their faith in Jesus. The moral of the story is that you are never too dead for Jesus to give you life- especially in the spiritual sense.

Jesus came to give us life, and give it to us abundantly. He wants us to not spend our lives half asleep, stumbling along on memorized prayers and speed-read Bible passages. He wants us to find our spark of life from Him, to live in Him, not just the knowledge of Him.

I know of people that know a lot about Jesus, but they are not alive in their faith. They have the right answers, they know the facts, they even pray regularly and read their Bibles. Yet they are not alive. For Jesus, life is not about knowing what to do and what to say, it is about knowing Him. If we do things just because they are expected of us, we are not living. But if our motivation is our love for and desire to know Christ, life fills our hearts and pours out of our actions and thoughts and words.

Lazarus' story is about the opportunity to ReLive. To be restored. To be resurrected.

Like Lazarus, I think we could all use a little jump start from time to time.

Seeding

2011-03-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but growing up in a farming community, the guy in the parable of the sower (Matthew13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, Luke 8:1-15) always struck me as a poor example of a farmer. It's like the guy wasn't even looking what he was doing. Seeds on the walkway where birds pick them up, or the next guy to walk along crushes them or kicks them away. Seeds on rocks (I have seen stuff grow on rocks, but those things are called weeds) where there is no way to get a real root going. Then, he throws the seed in the thorn patch, where the good soil is already eaten up by the junky plants. Finally, some seed lands on good, healthy and clear soil. And the guy doesn't even plant the seeds there, he just lets them lay there. I mean, really, who just randomly throws seeds all over the place?

The answer, in regards to this parable, is we do. Everyday, we throw seeds all over the place. When we talk, when we post something online, the places we frequent, the music we listen to, the shows we watch, the things we read, what we wear, how we conduct ourselves at work or in class, the way we drive. All of these actions and so many more are throwing seeds out there. Seeds that tell people who we are, what matters to us, and what kind of character we possess. You seed the lives of people with your preferences, and sometimes those seeds take root. Have you ever read a book or watched a new TV show because of a casual conversation with a classmate or co-worker? They mention their love of something, and curiosity is peaked, so you check it out.

You were just seeded, and the person who did it probably didn't even know that's what they were doing. It's like their not even paying attention to where they cast their seed.

Now apply that to your faith in Christ. If people know you are a believer by your words- you've told them- then everything you do is a seed for what they think about Christ. The way you treat the opposite sex or the way you do your work or the way you drive (especially if you have a Jesus fish on your car) is a seed in the life of people who walk and live around you. For a long time, I thought those parables meant we just told everybody the whole gospel and did nothing but share the plan of how to get people to know Jesus. Then I realized that I am sharing who Jesus is to me not so much with my carefully worded answers to theological questions, but with the subtle ways I go about my mundane, ordinary tasks of life.

Do I complain? Do I argue? Do I look a little too long at something risque? Do I practice backstabbing my friends? Do make fun of people who aren't able or around to defend themselves? Or do I practice humility- put others first? Do I suck it up and do my work even when I don't really want to? Do I show compassion?

All these plant seeds. Some seeds we cast are weeds, some are beautiful flowers. Some land in good soil, some land on bad. The truth is, we rarely realize just how much (or how badly) we are seeding peoples' lives with Jesus.

So, what can we do to be better about seeding people with the good stuff- and seeding in the right places?

I believe it starts and ends with prayer. We need to pray in the places we live and work. I'm not talking about praying so that others see us being all holy, I'm saying we pray so we can see with the eyes of God the place we have always just seen with our regular old eyes. Praying in the space you spend time in means you are preparing the soil around you- so that the seeds you randomly cast out to those around you will land in good soil.

I remember my grandparents having a garden when I was a little kid. I remember when it came time to plant, we prepared the garden by removing weeds and rocks, then breaking up the soil and moving it around so the seeds would have the room to grow. We took bads soil, and made it better to receive the seed. I believe prayer does that for us in the spiritual sense. It's not about US making the person clean so they can receive Christ, it's about asking the Spirit to move and work in subtle ways in the person's life to help them be receptive to the seed we cast. We can't make the seed grow or take root- that is between the soil and the sun (aka the person and God). But we can ask for the soil to be prepared.

And we can cast good seed. Prayer is key not just for the soil- but for the sower. We need to be praying that we choose the right sort of seeds to cast. What are we putting out there that people may want to cling to about Christ? If the only Jesus most people see is the Jesus we live out- what would they think of Him?

So, I challenge you- and if you have others that will join you- go to the places you spend time. The library you study at, the bar you frequent, the office you work in, your apartment, even your car. Go there and pray. Pray for the people who cross your path in those places, most of them you may never even meet- but they catch the seed you and others throw. Pray that they be prepared by God to receive the seeds of faith in Christ- whether that seed comes from you or someone else. Pray also for yourself. Pray for you to be more aware of the Christ you are seeding people with. Pray that you be more aware of the spiritual needs around you as well as the physical needs.

It doesn't need to be long- God knows what you are asking. But it does need to happen. The funny thing about Seeding, is that the more you pray about preparing the 'soil' around you, the more your own 'soil' is prepared to experience God.

In Defense of Hell

2011-03-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

(Author's Note: I'm writing this today to address a theological idea that has recently been brought to light due to the release of Rob Bell's new book, Love Wins. I have not read the book, I have only read reviews and seen interviews with Bell about it. That being said, this is not a review of the book, or an address on the character and ideas of Mr. Bell. This is a look at the idea that all souls end up in Heaven eventually, regardless of choices made in this life. I will mention Mr. Bell nor his book no more in this post, but I wanted to show where the thoughts here came from.)

I gotta say, the idea of Hell makes me feel awkward. I don't like it. And I really don't like the idea that it is permanent. If it is tough for me as a follower of Christ, I can imagine the difficulties others who do not follow Him have with it.

But I think that may be kind of the point of Hell. We should be discomforted by it, we should not relish and revel in its existence for all those other 'sinners' to get there eternal time out. Really, Hell is the spiritual version of our earthly prison/time out/detention/capital punishment. And all types of punishment make me nervous. What if an innocent man is punished? What if the punishment does not fit the crime? What if a person is truly rehabilitated, yet still remains incarcerated? The truth is, punishment in and of itself is an idea that is DESIGNED to make us uncomfortable about it. No one wants to be punished.

Enter a thought process that has always been around, but seems to have gained a lot of traction in the last decade or so (Thanks, my generation!). It's the idea that Sin is really OK. I mean, it is bad and we shouldn't do it, but it really is no big deal. Usually called moral relativism, it started with us looking at each other's sins and saying, "Eh, whatever. Do what makes you feel good now." It was a part of our isolationist attitude, our rugged individualism. And its great until there is resistance. See, eventually, your doing whatever you want clashes with someone else's doing whatever they want. Someone gets hurt- physically, emotionally, or spiritually. And in some form or another, punishment comes. And since we are made uncomfortable with punishment (ie being told you are wrong) we had a problem.

I suppose it is a natural progression of sorts for Christians who are punishment averse yet morally freer to want to address this dilemma. This idea of universalism is one of those ways. It can vary in its form from "All roads lead to God," to some more exclusive views of the Spiritual realm. It is a vast multi-headed creature, with a variety of specific beliefs expressed in a variety different ways. The one I want to look at today is the one that states God's love is so overwhelming that all people- regardless of beliefs held or not held in life- will get to go to Heaven and be in God's presence. Eventually. It allows for Hell, but Hell is temporary.

This flies in the face of traditional views on Hell and the Scriptures. Normally, I'm not a traditionalist, but when that tradition is based on teachings in the Bible, I kinda have to stick with it. I also often point out that there are lots of differing views on somewhat vague concepts in Scripture, and that these viewpoints do not challenge our salvation if we differ in opinions, because what matters is that we believe Christ died for our sins and we accepted His gift of eternal life.

This view, however, is not one of those.

It Changes the Nature of Jesus Sacrifice
Quite simply put, if God's love will save us all eventually, and we are punished in Hell for a time for our sins- then the death of Christ on the Cross was unnecessary at best, and sadistic on the part of the Father at worst. Christ died on the cross to pay the penalty we incurred for sin- aka any time we rejected the will of God. The punishment for that sin was death and separation from God, and the way to escape that punishment was sacrifice. If we all died and went directly to Hell, paid our penalty, then God opened the cell door and said, "All paid up!" then why did God send His Son to DIE? Jesus could have come and just told us to live better lives, love more, and take care of each other while doing our best to love God. This view makes Jesus simply a short cut to Heaven, with a bypass of Hell for those who accept His sacrifice for their sins. Kinda takes the wind out of the whole "It is finished" thing, doesn't it?

Yes, God Loves Everyone and Wants No One To Perish, But He Allows You to Choose
I've heard the argument so often it is a cliche. "Why would a loving God create a Hell, let alone send people there?" Well, here is another cliche- If you love someone, you have to set them free. If I hated God, and He forced Himself upon me, He would not be loving. At least in my mind. I would see Him as a tyrant, and any attention I gave Him would not be out of love, but out of obligation and fear. Yet, the reality is, God does demand our love for good reason. (For more on this, see the previous blog post, Miracle Drug.) Proponents of "Everybody Goes To Heaven" say that because God loves us and wants us with Him, He, Omnipotent like He is, will get what He wants. 2 Peter 3:9 is a verse often used in their defense: "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." God also wants us to love one another, to lie, to not commit adultery, to be healthy and to spend time with Him. Yet He does not make those things happen now. In fact, 2 Thessalonians 2:9-10 says, "The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved." If we refuse to love the truth (Christ is the way, the only way, to Heaven) then we perish. And since we all die on this earth, perish is much more of a spiritual sort of death.

Do We Cease to Exist?
Most of traditional theology says we stay in Hell for ever. But one passage of Revelation is kinda vague on that (imagine that, being vague in Revelation). In Chapter 20:14-15, it says, "Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire." This does serve to point that people not found in the Book of Life get sent to the lake of fire- referred to as the second death. It could mean that Hell is temporary and God puts the tormented out of their misery, or they could burn forever there. Either way, this is a rather final situation. One does not get out of this. There is no reprieve.

Where Does it Say Hell is Escapable?
And what does Jesus Himself say about Hell? Quite a lot, actually. But one story, one parable He tells is about the Rich Man and Lazarus. Lazarus is carried to Abraham's side, the rich man to Hades, where he was in torment. Richy asks for some water from Lazarus, but Abraham informs him that, "And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us."--Luke 16:26

Yeah, its a parable, but Jesus spoke truth in them. The truth is, the choice we make in this life about Christ determines where we spend eternity. If we choose Christ in this life, we enter into His presence for eternity. If we reject Him, we choose to leave the presence of God for eternity, and there is no mind changing.

I wish with all my heart that those who go to Hell COULD escape it's torment. I want to believe this "Everybody Goes to Heaven" theology, but that is not what God teaches in the Bible. And to those who would say I worship the Bible more than God, I say that the Bible gives us the best picture of eternity we are likely to get. At least until we get there. Anything any of say or think that is not found in the Book explicitly it our best- and faulty- guess.

Is it right that God condemns someone to an eternity of Hell for 80 years of rebellion? If I think I am justified in answering for God on why He deals with sinners who never repent, then I am thinking a great deal of myself. I know He judges us for our sins and our obedience. I know He gives out reward and punishment. And I know that He is God, and His ways are vastly beyond mine- His mind greater than mine.

And I believe His heart breaks more than I could possibly fathom when someone chooses Hell over Him.

Miracle Drug

2011-03-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I got the flu. I believe it was the first time since I was a kid that I contracted this really annoying little bug, despite never getting a flu vaccine. Now, once I had the flu, I wanted the drugs. I needed the drugs. And nothing would keep them from me.

Tamiflu is expensive, for the record. Sure, compared to some heart meds and other triple digit dollar amount drugs, it's nothing. So, I had a brief moment of hesitation when forking over the $60 for the pills, but the chills started to kick back in. I got over it. Then the next day, both my kids were diagnosed with the influenza, and my wife was put on Tamiflu as a preventative measure. It was expensive, but this time I had no hesitation. We all needed to do what was explicitly necessary to kill this germ that wreaking havoc on our family before it got worse. We wanted the miracle drug to work.

I've been reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, with my friend Eric. In it, Chan relates the story of a college student asking a very potent and piercing question: "Why would a loving God force me to love Him?"

The truth is, I've heard this before. The truth is also that it is easy to see where this mentality comes from. I mean, if you don't love God, you die the big Death with a capital D. If you don't follow Jesus, you are separated from the Father. It's kind of totalitarian, if you'll allow me that strong term. Yeah, I see that there is a bit of forcing us to choose God coming from God Himself. The Bible is full of people that were "strongly encouraged" to choose God.

I admit: It seems rather harsh that God essentially says choose me or you can go to Hell. Literally.

But, what if it's necessary?

I didn't really want to take my flu meds. They made me kinda nauseous at first. They cost more money than I wanted to spend. But if I wanted to get over the flu quickly, there was NO OTHER WAY to go.

If we created a miracle drug that cured all ailments- from cancer to AIDS to headaches to the common cold- and you had to take it just once- would you take it? It would cost you a lot of money, but you'd not have to worry about health care ever again. You'd never need to take another pill of any kind for the rest of your life. The catch is, there is no other company or industry that will ever be able to manufacture this drug, so you have to take it from this company. You are being, in essence, forced to support this company.

For a lifetime of good health by taking one pill- it's worth it, isn't it?

Matthew 9:12 says: On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

When we realize we are sick, we will do whatever it takes to get well. Be told you have cancer, and your first thoughts upon soaking that in will be "What can we do?" Have a heart attack, and you want to know what you have to do to prevent that from happening again.

You want the drugs/treatment/surgery that makes it better.

Now, you're sick. All of us are. We WILL die from it. The question is can we be cured from eternal death and get eternal life? If there was a way to get that, and only one way to get that, would it be worth it?

Would you not, if you knew of a way to cure a loved one from cancer or AIDS or heart disease, do every thing within your power to make them pursue that course of treatment? Would you not force them?

Of course you would. Because you love them. You'd move mountains if you could to help the ones you love.

If God is 'forcing' us to love Him- and I don't see it that way- it is because He loves us. Now, the way I see it, if God has the Miracle Drug to cure us from this Death that awaits us- it's not Him forcing us to love Him. It is Him offering us the pill- the only one of its kind- that will save us. Accepting and returning the Love of God is the Miracle Drug.

And He is the only one making it.

We can still choose to reject Him, He does allow for that. I could have chosen to refuse my Tamiflu and struggled through it on my own. I probably would have made it. Thousands of patients every day choose not to take the pill or the chemo or the surgery because they have the same choice as we do. They can say 'No' to the well meaning doctor and family members pleading, pushing and yes, forcing them to take the cure.

But the truth is, you cannot reject God and live for eternity. It's not Him forcing you.

It is Him doing everything to save you.

I Am Not My Sin

2011-03-09T06:35:00.000-08:00

So, last night Kristin and I sat down to watch "Pray the Gay Away" on OWN ( Yep, I am surrendering my guy card for that one.) Basically, the show was looking at ministries like Exodus Ministries that works with Christians who are gay, but want to overcome those urges, and also the flipside to that: Christians who are gay and feel that is just who they are and don't need to change it. The first half hour was mostly about Exodus and a woman with her own ministry/a guy she has worked with for four years. The second half hour was about a camp for gay students where they can be "gay and Christian." In the midst of this pretty compelling show, I noticed something seemed to be recurring in the words of the people: Identity. Those wanting to be free of the homosexual urges and those wanting to embrace them both talked a lot about their identity and the confusion of what to do when their very personal urges conflicted with their very personal- and on both sides, vibrant- faith.

Let me just say, for clarity, where I stand. I believe that the Bible teaches homosexuality is wrong. It is a sin. But it is no more vile a sin than murder, lying, looking at pornography, getting drunk or cheating on your taxes. Being gay does not merit a total rejection from God and a denial of entrance to heaven. Homosexuals are people that God loves dearly, and as His children, we are to love them as well. But I am concerned about the way in which we are trying to make this sin 'okay' and I am concerned with the growing trend to say that "gay is how I was made and, therefore, who I am."

As I was watching the show, God seemed to be teaching me something not just about this particular sin, but all sin: We identify ourselves by it. Think about it, you call yourself an alcoholic if you can't stop drinking. You call yourself a liar if you can't ever seem to tell the truth. You label yourself a porn addict if you can't stop searching the internet for porn. And if you have committed some crime like murder or sexual assault you bear that label for the rest of you life- regardless of what comes after. It seems that no matter who we are deep down, our sins still define us to those around us- and even to ourselves.

Batman Begins has this theme running through it. It is the line "It's not who you are on the inside, but what you do that defines you." In context, it means if you are a good person deep down, but do nothing good, can you really be good? It rings very near to "faith without works is dead." In our world, it seems that it doesn't matter if you believe in Jesus in your heart, we are defined more by our sin and our actions (and maybe our inactions) than what we believe. Clearly, the truth is that what we do does define us to those around us. They can't know our heart, but they can see our actions. The problem comes when we define ourselves by our action, by our sin, rather than by the owner of our heart.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 about this issue:

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (Emphasis mine)

As believers in Christ, we are to no longer identify ourselves as these sins. WE were these things, but we are washed, sanctified (made holy, set apart by God, for God), and justified ( made right with God's law) by Jesus. By His NAME. Our identity is to be in Christ, not in our addictions, our urges, our sins or our lifestyles. It is wrong for me to identify myself by my sin instead of by my Savior. To do so demeans the work of Christ.

But what about those who say they are, as Lady Gaga sings today, "Born This Way?"

OK, I'll give you that. While I believe God makes us without sin, we are born into a world that is fallen. Something happens to us when our souls put on this flesh- the Bible often refers to the flesh as sinful, by the way- that warps us. I believe that in the same way some of us are born with natural abilities, we are all born with natural bents to sin. This is not a result of the failure of God, rather it is a result of the Fall of Man. Some of us are born into a lifelong struggle with the bottle or with same-sex attraction. Some of us are born with a tendency toward violence or with a sociopathic lack of care for others. The fallen nature of this world messes us up. But there are millions of people born with these and other urges who daily fight them down- they deny the identity that were born as, repress it as the show last night often said- because they value something more than getting to be themselves.

That is the issue I have with sins that we claim we do just because it is how we are made. If we are believers in Christ, we were unmade in that image, and remade in the image of Christ. We may have been born with sinful desire, but we have been born again to desire Christ. To desire Him more than we desire ourselves. Yes, to even deny our most powerful, and most identity defining urges and longings, if they conflict with the One whose Name we now bear.

Adn when we fall again to those urges- because we will as long as we wear this flesh- we need offer forgiveness to ourselves and to others. I think the current president of Exodus Ministries (himself a man who was actively homosexual but is now married), who got the last word last night, said it best. As the show closed, he was asked if he thought that Christians who were gay would still get to go to heaven. He responded by sayin that yes, he believed that. That though they sinned, God was big enough to forgive them, because what mattered was that Jesus was in their heart, regardless of the struggles they still fall to.

I Will Not Give To God That Which Cost Me Nothing

2011-03-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen and paid fifty shekels of silver for them.
- 2 Samuel 24:24

David has screwed up. Big time. He took a census, mainly to be able to boast in how awesome his army was. This ticked God off, because David (and because the people follow the king- Israel as well) was trusting in himself, and not God. So,God gives David a choice- 3 years of famine, 3 months of pursuit by enemies, or 3 days of plague. David goes with plague. So for three days, 70,000 people die, but God relents at the threshing floor of Araunah. David goes to build an altar of remembrance there, and Araunah wants to give it to him: no charge. This elicits David's response above. And it points us to true worship, thousands of years later.

Jesus was tough to follow. Not just because He spoke in thinly veiled parables and seemed to prefer going on foot everywhere. He was (and is) hard to follow because He expects so much from us.

Wait. Jesus expects things from us? How does that jive with the modern idea that Jesus is all about grace and forgiveness and taking care of us?

The truth is, it doesn't. And it does. Jesus does offer grace, forgiveness and provision. And He requires nothing of us to receive His salvation- His rescue from our failures and mistakes and sins. But if you take His name, if you claim to KNOW Him, there better be some evidence.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
-Matthew 7:21-23

Jesus says doing things in His name doesn't mean you know Him. Just because one attends church, wears a cross or ichthus, obeys the 'rules,' prays and reads the Bible doesn't mean they know Him. For a lot of people, we become fearful and concerned that we don't really know Him, that we are just faking it- with the best of intentions. I've been there.

I've had those times of doubting my relationship with God. Not that He was holding up His end, but that I was being genuine in mine. I've had times in my life when my consistency with prayer and time in the Bible was like clockwork. But looking back, my relationship with Jesus was at best distant. I was doing things that seemed right because that's what everyone said I was supposed to do to have a 'strong relationship with God.' The problem is, prayer and Bible study- just like "prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles" can be done without a relationship with God. The Bible tells us that the name of Jesus is powerful, and we see that people without God in their lives can do miraculous things. And they can do things that seem holy, but are in fact...well, selfish.

The Lord says:

“These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is based on merely human rules they have been taught.

- Isaiah 29:13

All the way back to the Old Testament, people were faking it. Maybe that's not entirely accurate, maybe it was more that they were fooling themselves. They were doing what man said we had to do, not what The LORD said to do. The Pharisees came about because of this type of thinking, and they were the biggest opposition to Jesus. Why? Because He spoke of knowing and listening to the Words of the Father- they wanted to just keep reading and re-interpreting to maintain their control, their way of living.

They didn't want to give anything to God that cost them something.

So, what does it mean for us? Can we be secure in our relationship with Jesus? Or will we be the people Jesus says He never knew?

I believe we can answer that. Starting with the Matthew passage above- what Jesus tells us is that those who do the will of the Father will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The only way for us know the will of the Father is to listen for it- and the best way to listen and respond to someone is to be in a relationship with them. The will of the Father, when we look at the whole of Scripture, is that we desire and pursue knowing Him. Not knowing about Him, but knowing Him like you know friends and family. The Isaiah passage is God summing that idea up into bringing your heart near to Him. And you don't do that by giving Him lip service and going through the motions. So, how do our hearts draw near to Him?

The answer is: How do you draw your heart near to a loved one? You want to be with them. You make time for them- real, genuine time, not just to check it off. You give them your attention, your affection, and you desire- deeply- them returning theirs. If you love them enough, you will sacrifice your own will and desires and schedules to be with them.

And so we come back to David. He wouldn't give to God anything that cost him nothing. David, we hear, is a man after God's heart. If we want God, it is going to cost us. It'll cost us our precious sins and selfishness. It may cost our comfort and security. It may cost us earthly relationships and success. It will most definitely cost us our lives. We may not die physically, but we must relinquish all that we hold dear to Him. We must be willing to walk away from attitudes, actions, hobbies, interests, and ideologies. See, He demands it all. And He has the right to demand our all.

After all, He gave us His all on the Cross.

So I challenge you, whatever it is that holds you back from Him today- give it to Him. Though the cost may seem more than you can bear, the cost of hearing Jesus say He never knew you is far more than you can imagine.

The Temptation of Entitlement

2011-03-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Entitlement is sort of a word of the day for me. Really, word of the week.

I see it thrown about in political discussions, and read articles about the mindset it creates in our culture. It's a fancy word, to be sure. It is also powerful. But in reality, as it plays out in our lives, it is nothing less than deadly.

In my last post, I mentioned Satan's final desert temptation of Jesus was one of entitlement- asking Jesus to essentially believe that the Father owed Him. Jesus cut this temptation down quickly, and efficiently by stating that you don't test God. Oh, how I wish we could be like that.

Entitlement runs rampant not just in society at large- a culture, a generation, a leader who feels someone else OWES them something they have yet to earn- it is overpowering in our churches. And it is in us as individuals.

Entitlement to Control

We all want things to go our way. We want things to favor us and bear good outcomes for us. The problem comes when we are tempted to demand that we be given control. It starts simply, we think our idea is a better idea than the current idea. But the entitlement the other idea holder possesses saying that their idea runs things clashes with your feeling of entitlement to enact your idea. Then it stops being about the merit of either idea and becomes about who is in control.

In the past, the one with the entitlement to control feeling has been the one with the leadership position. But now, everyone feels they have the right to control whatever they want. In churches, I've personally seen situations where a disagreement with a church leader has led members to seek to take control of the situation because, after all, "It is my church." There it is- MY. People who have grown up in a church feel entitled to run it the way they want. On the flip-side, the newcomer feels entitled to run things their way because they have fresher ideas.

And again, its never about the ideas when it gets to this point- it is about ME. What I want, regardless of what is best for others. The answer to this temptation of entitlement to control is to consider others. Be selfless. Be what we see in Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Entitlement to control is about pushing yourself higher and higher- elevating yourself to a power you feel you deserve just because. The answer is humility and concern for others.

Entitlement to Privacy

We're an independent culture. We like our privacy as much we like our rugged individualism. I myself prefer solitude whenever I can get it. This often leads us to feel entitled to be able to keep things to ourselves and not share our struggles or failures, or even our faith as a whole. We say, "My faith is between me and God." This is true...sort of. See, your relationship with God is EXCEPTIONALLY personal. What transpires between you and Him can be very private and sometimes is almost secretive. But He wants us to share with others our needs, our sins, and doubts.

We don't really talk about what's going on with us. We don't often share the things God is teaching us, or working with us on. We share our socially safe sins, the ones that we know people won't judge us on, but we never talk about the stuff that actually is tearing us apart. And share our doubts and fears with each other? Forget about it!

I think leaders have this problem more than most. Pastors, teachers, elders, deacons- pick your favorite- all of us feel that to let others know of our weakness is to invite a loss of favor, a loss of trust, and maybe a loss of position. We are terrified to share those darker thoughts and actions that aren't socially safe- and we hide behind that idea that some things are better kept between our families and maybe a close friend. But what we create in the minds of the people we lead is that it is OK to keep our life sucking weaknesses to ourselves. That it is better to keep a painful secret than be set free. That it is better to close ourselves off from those who love us rather than admit we can be wrong.

I share my failures with people. My church is aware of my struggles, and I admit my failures when I realize they are there- either by my own discovery or someone pointing it out to me. I do still struggle from time to time with being defensive about it, but that is something God is working on me about. What I have come to realize is that putting up that poser wall of privacy to hide my weakness doesn't just hurt me- it hurts those I am called to lead. And it especially hurts those who are struggling in secret with the same junk I am.

Entitlement to Grace

A dangerous trend I've noticed is this idea that we are entitled to Grace. Grace is freely and abundantly given by our God, but we exploit it by justifying our sins or twisting the meaning of the Word to get what we want, while casually saying, "If I'm wrong, I've got grace."

We did not, nor will we ever, earn grace. And it is not given so we can do what we want and then collect a "Get Out of Hell Free" card on the way to the grave. Grace is given so we can know God, and pursue knowing Him more. Grace is not about making life easier, or our sins more palatable. Our acceptance of the Grace of God is, however, an entitlement. It is an entitlement to share in the life of Christ. I see grace as it is meant to be in Philippians 3: 10-11

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

I think the idea that God (or anyone, for that matter) owes us anything is a height of selfishness. Entitlement kills us, even as we labor under the impression that what we think we are owed brings life. In fact, if the account in Isaiah 14: 13-15:

You said in your heart,
“I will ascend to the heavens;
I will raise my throne
above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.”
But you are brought down to the realm of the dead,
to the depths of the pit.

...is about Satan, then entitlement was kind of the sin that caused his fall. He thought himself better, deserving, even entitled to power. When we claim our entitlements, we fall as Satan fell.

To me, this makes his temptation of Jesus with entitlement in the desert in Luke 4 all the more telling. And why it seems to be a favorite temptation for you and me today.

How Jesus Beat Temptation and You Can, Too!

2011-02-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

What if Jesus sinned?

It's a scary thought, really. I mean, if Jesus had sinned, we'd still be in need of a Savior. He was perfect in His life, so His sacrifice was worthy- perfect, that is- to fulfill the law's demands for punishment. The problem is, I think we tend to forget or at least gloss over the fact that Jesus could have sinned.

Luke 4 contains one of three versions of the temptation in the desert- all of them begin with Jesus being led into the desert by the Holy Spirit. Wait- check that out- Jesus was led by the Spirit knowingly into a situation that would hold massive temptation. It is almost like Jesus was being tested by the Spirit- and His Father. Now, the other 2/3's of the Trinity did not cause the temptation, but they did put Jesus in Satan's cross-hairs (heh, pun un-intended). The Father and the Spirit knew that a Savior who got a free pass would not be much of a Savior- Jesus had to be able to actually face and resist temptation to be the perfect sacrificial Lamb of God. If Jesus had never faced temptation, He would not know how to relate to us when we are tempted. Instead, Jesus listened to the tempting voice of Satan, and said, "Nope."

It wasn't just that He refused to give in, it was how. He responded, each time, with Scripture. Not a hollow kind of Scripture memory, words Jesus chose to use were pointed to the specific temptation of Satan.

What Kind of Bread?
When Satan tempted with bread, Jesus spoke words that referred to Deuteronomy 8:3, "He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." Luke only records Jesus saying the "man doesn't live on bread alone" part, but the reference is clearly stating that man needs the words of God. Jesus knew of this need, because He had come to the desert after His baptism- a baptism in which He heard His Father proclaim, "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Luke 3:22) Jesus is telling Satan (and us) that the affirmation of our Father is more sustenance than any bread- literal or figurative. Jesus knew the power of those words, and used that power to withstand all of Satan's attacks.

Power Play
Satan next appeals to the power hungry. Fortunately Jesus is not power hungry. The Accuser offers power over all the world- something I believe Satan had the authority to give, you know, being the prince of this world and all. The funny thing is, Satan offers what Jesus will ultimately have anyway. Jesus will reign over the earth- so the temptation Satan offered was a short cut. Worship Satan, get power now without suffering the Cross. Jesus responds by saying something that hearkened back to Deuteronomy 6:13. Jesus says worship, where Deuteronomy says "Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name." Revere God only. No one else is above the Father, not Satan, not the Son. See, Satan says worship me, but the real temptation was for Jesus to be a 'self-made man.' To get all the power coming to Him by way of a path apart from the Father's Will. The worship would ultimately be a worship of Himself apart from the Father, because He had made it Himself. Jesus knew that for the Father's plan to work, He had to stick to it, and at the heart of it all, Jesus loved and revered the Father more than Himself.

Don't Test Me
Finally, Satan throws his curve. He quotes the Psalms about Jesus having the power to command the angels to protect Him. The appeal here is to entitlement. "Jesus, the Father OWES you protection." Again Jesus goes to that book that we so often glance past quickly, Deuteronomy 6:16: "Do not put the LORD your God to the test as you did at Massah." Massah is the place where the Israelites called God out, saying He brought them out of the plentiful food and water (and slavery) of Egypt to die in the dry, foodless desert. Moses was told to strike a rock, and water flowed. But the damage had been done, the Israelites had claimed their entitlement- "If we're really the Chosen Ones, come through. Hold up your end of the bargain- if you're really there." Jesus knew that the Father OWED Him nothing. Jesus was a servant of His Father...and a Servant of all people. To claim His importance in such a way as Satan tempted would be Jesus claiming His own greatness- that He was more than us. And though He is more than us, He came to walk amongst us, to know our sufferings, to know our pains. And yes, to know our temptations.

That's the heart of the temptation in the desert. To get Jesus to take the easy way out. And really, that's the same temptation we face daily- to take the easy, self-centered path. None of us are called to be Savior like Jesus was, but I bet we're called to live a life of importance to God. When we face temptation and give in, we are surrendering the greater plan the Father has for us. Yes, we will fail. But we must, at some point, face those temptations that derail and respond as Jesus did.

And how did He respond? Out of a vibrant and active relationship with His Father. No matter what defenses we set up against temptation, they will fail if our relationship with God is weak. Jesus was secure and strong in His relationship. He was walking in that strength when He went into the desert to be tested. Just as He walked with the Father in all of His days. And when Satan returned to tempt at a more opportune time, as Luke 4:13 says, Jesus was ready.

For He still walked hand and hand with the Father. And nothing could separate that.

Imagine what we could be if we lived like Jesus did through His temptation.

The Un-Penned God

2011-02-25T09:19:00.000-08:00

I grew up on a ranch. We raised sheep mostly, but had a dozen or so cows as well. I was involved in 4-H, particularly in the sheep exhibitions, but one year my parents and I decided to try our hand at a heifer. So, we bought one from a neighbor, and drove her the mile or so home and placed her in a pen we had built to contain her. The fence was high, she had plenty of food and water, and shelter was good.

She promptly jumped the fence and headed home- to her home. We caught her, placed her back in the pen, but quickly realized adjustments had to be made to keep her contained. But she was still too crazy to get in the pen with her and try to tame her. Honestly, we didn't have a clue what to do with her, so my heifer showing career ended before it started.

I think back to that time in my early teen years and one thing is vivid: that cow was too wild to be contained, too strong to be tamed. You could see it in her eyes like a fire: "You don't know who you're dealing with." Eventually we released her to be with the other cows, and she went on to have lots of babies and live her life, her way.

I draw a lot of comparisons to that incident and how I often view God. I mean, I recognize the power of God, and even notice His wildness at times (seriously, watch a Texas thunderstorm sometime), but I often try to pen Him up into my idea of what God should be. Really, we all do it. We want Him to be more like us, to make sense when He talks and with what He does. We want his complexities and His justice to be only as deep and as understandable as human complexities and justice.

In essence, we want God to exist within us- that is to say, within the boundaries of our understanding. Anything outside of that is grounds for immediately discounting or distrusting God.

Man has always been this way. Ancient cultures handled it more with religion, going so far as to create new gods to explain the strange and scary things they saw. Even more sophisticated cultures like the Greeks and Romans went this way. They went out of their way to try to appease the gods, so they made statues to all of them, and even statues to gods they didn't yet know about just in case that god got mad at them and attacked. Really, though, it wasn't about protecting themselves from the gods as it was exercising control over them. At least, that's how Paul saw it.

On one of his trips, Paul came face to face with idolatry, aka man's pen for God. In an attempt to serve a god that made sense, they just made one up. Paul addressed this thinking like this:

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’
--Acts 17:24-28

To me, seeing God as not being dependent on us is tremendously freeing. These words remind me that it is God who has mastery over me, not the other way around. And then, the fact that He actually penned us in (he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands) in an effort to call us to Him. He has set out to tame us- but not like we think.

I think we believe God sets rules to keep us from fun. God has actually set rules up to make life better. He wants to tame us from the actions that destroy us, but He wants us to be adventurous and full of life in our pursuit of Him. In that, He has set no limits. That leads me to my favorite part of this passage: 'For in him we live and move and have our being.’ Paul quotes a pagan philosopher who spoke a truth he didn't fully understand. That truth is that we exist in God. Not in an Eastern Mysticism "We are all god" way, but in a "God made us to exist for Him, whether we acknowledge it or not" way. He enables us to do what we do, even refuse Him.

Because God is big enough for that.

And no matter how hard we try, with idolatry or watering Him down to fit what we are comfortable with, we will not pen Him. His eyes are filled with a fire, not unlike the heifer of my youth, that screams of passion and power, and warns us that we don't know who we are messing with.

Is Jesus Legalistic or Grace?

2011-02-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

I don't speed.

I just don't do it. I keep my cruise set at whatever the speed limit is posted at and don't rise above or below it. I don't do it because I'm a good person, I do it because I hate spending money on things I don't want. Like tickets.

I guess if I'm honest, I follow most rules simply because I don't like the consequences of not following them. I don't love laws- in fact I think we have too many. (I don't like the government telling me how long I have to keep my kid in a car seat- which since my kids are tiny will be until they get their license.) But I keep them because I don't want to pay a fine or hear the harsh clang of steel bars. To be fair, some laws I follow because I feel morally obligated- like the whole not killing or stealing or committing adultery (which is most definitely a spiritual law, not a judicial one in our society).

It could be said we have laws for lots of reasons like safety and civility. I think we also have laws to make us feel in control. If we obey the rules, we know we are good people and good people control their own destiny. We like rules because they tell us just what we need to do.

God knew this about us, which is why He gave us the Commandments. He knew we'd never figure it out on our own, and we felt we needed to control our own lives, so He gave us Laws. With Laws came consequences and punishments. With consequences and punishment came judgment. With judgment came Pharisees. With Pharisees came Jesus. And with Jesus came fulfilment.

The Law is not the problem, even if that is what much of the world would have you believe. They say the problem with God is that He has too many rules, and thus He is no fun. Jesus walked into the world and said, very clearly, that the rules were not going away just because He came. No, they were in fact going to be fulfilled. This was what we call a 'bummer' to the Jews, a society oppressed with countless laws on top of the Law. See, they were burden by laws that men made to make God's Law more difficult to live by. Laws that took away freedom. Laws that bound the keeper- not to God, but to the laws. In simplistic terms, they no longer refused to murder because the loved God, they refused to murder because they loved the law.

Jesus came on and said that the law stands, but what needs to change is our reasoning for keeping it. We don't keep it for fear of consequence, or for respect for the man-made institutions that keep the law: we are to keep the Law out of Love for God. And Jesus set out to keep the Law. That is, the Law of God, not the Pharisaical law. See, he came to expose the control-minded laws of man by living out the Laws of God. Law Lovers say it is more important to pass the injured man by if it is the Sabbath (day of rest), lest we help him and sin by breaking the Sabbath. God Lovers say it is more important that the man be rescued so that he can enjoy the restful day of Sabbath and those that follow. Jesus healed on the Sabbath, Pharisees let you rot. The Law had been allowed to make us selfish- legalism was about making sure we were right to the exclusion of concern for others.

Jesus fulfilled the Law by completing the "don't" laws as well as the "do" laws. Not only did He abstain from murder, theft, adultery and the lot, He fully engaged in caring for His fellow humans and worshiping God. More than that, He fulfilled the Law of God by taking the punishment the Law owed to all who fell short. His death was fulfilment in that the punishment for all sin was given to the one man who didn't deserve it. He became the scapegoat ( a Jewish tradition of sending a goat covered with the sins of the people out in the wilderness to die, thus taking the people's sin with it) for all of mankind. Our sins died with Him, even though He didn't deserve to die and we didn't deserve to live.

So, the age old question of whether Jesus was about the Law or about Grace is answered in true, God-like fashion: He's both. On this side of the Cross, we have the Grace covering our screw-ups, but there is still this expectation that we would seek to live to please God. And that's just it- we should follow God's Laws not for the sake of following the rules, or being a good person, but for the love we have for our God. The kind of Law following Jesus shows us is the kind that puts the focus on God- never on us. We would fall forever short of the scrutiny and intricacies of the Law.

But Jesus can take it. And He did.

For us.

$5 Compassion

2011-02-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
--Matthew 9:36

There was this guy. He was always coming up to people in the parking lot outside my office asking for money. On a couple of occasions, I had some cash and let him have it, thinking I was doing a bit of a good deed. The problem was, this guy kept getting more aggressive with people. He would follow them to their car, or be waiting for them to get out of their car. If he did get money, he would bolt the parking lot and head north, to who knows where. Later, the sheriff's department alerted us that this gentleman was in fact taking the money and feeding his drug habit- and the more aggressive he got, the deeper into the addiction he was. I felt bad that my 'donation' had gone not to feed him, but rather to feed his addiction.

I remembered, around this time, a story I had heard from several different Christian circles of people who stocked up on $5 gift cards to McDonalds or Subway, so that when approached for money, they would give a card that guarranteed the person wouldn't get drugs- unless you count caffeine and those addictive fries. But the moment faded, and I never stocked up on gift cards.

All this time, our church, the Gate, was praying and seeking a way to serve our community. We'd volunteered at food banks and helped with A&M's Big Event service project, but they didn't come around too often, and both were services that the Bryan/College Station community actively- and in large quantities- supported. And, while Big Event allowed us to meet the person we were helping, the food pantry stuff mostly did not. We wanted- no, we needed- an opportunity to do something new and something that allowed us to share our faith with someone- but being a small church with a smaller bank account, we couldn't find it.

Through all these events, all this prayer, and all this frustration at not finding that 'big thing,' God spoke.

"Why does it have to be 'big'?"

Times are tough. People don't have as much to give. College students have less, and they made up our church. But everyone can give a little. Five bucks a month. It wouldn't take a much more than skipping one latte at Sweet Eugene's (for the Aggies out there) or Starbucks (for the rest of the world). Suddenly, God reminded me of the gift card idea. Spend $5 to get a gift card to some fast food place or even a coffee shop with the intent of giving it away.

Originally, the idea was to just give it to those folks on the side of the road or the homeless. But with our church being so full of the students, we realized they wouldn't run into as many of those folks as the rest of us.

But that didn't mean they wouldn't encounter the "harassed and helpless" that Jesus had compassion on.

Bad breakups. Failed tests. Financial shortfalls. Work stress. Nutty roommates. Any of these things and more could lead to a person needing compassion. So, this past Sunday, we launched a vision for our church to serve the communtity. The Gate bought twenty four $5 gift cards to McDonald's and gave them out amongst our church. This was the seed for them to begin thinking of and looking out for people who could use a little encouragement. The recipient could be someone they knew going through a tough time, or just someone they meet who seems to be having a bad day. Once a month, they give $5 Compassion to someone who needs a little encouragement and a kind, hopeful word. And if they feel so led, then they can give more than one card a month.

Each card contained a verse of Scripture, the church name and website, and a note to check our the $5 Compassion group on facebook and share their story. See, the vision is that $5 Compassion would not just be a ministry of the Gate, but of anyone who wants to make life a little brighter for everyone else. The idea is that those who recieve the gift can post on the site and share what it meant to them. And the one who gave the card can share what it was like to be able to help someone out. It is as much about sharing our stories and how God moves- even with just $5 of Compassion- in our lives as it is about the actual gift.

We added our church info to the card so that if someone does want to connect with God, they can find us- but you don't have to add the Gate to your card if you don't want to. Yeah, that's right- I'm issuing the challenge to you. Steal the idea. Run with it. Tell your friends. Because $5 Compassion is not about our church, our ideas, or your money. It is about showing, in a tangible way, that our God is in love with us. It's why we chose this verse for the cards:

The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.

The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
--Psalm 145: 8-9

So, go out, drop $5 on a gift card, and ask Jesus to give you His eyes to see people as He sees them. Allow your heart to be broken for a friend or a stranger who needs to love of God- whether that person knows of that love already or not.

And if $5 Compassion is something you can support, check us out on facebook at:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/5-Compassion/140630949332317?ref=ts (We're not eligible for a fancy username yet.)